This Is War - Chapter 2 - A Blessing and a Curse
A few people stared at us as we walked down the New York City sidewalk.
I was soaking wet wearing nothing but a towel and some sick Odegaard boots.
Chastity was in a bikini and heels.
And Nigel was decked out in lederhosen. And still carrying a sword.
We made an odd threesome. I almost gagged at the thought of a threesome with Chastity and Nigel.
“This way,” Nigel said as we tromped through the city.
Surprisingly…no one called the cops on us.
Actually, this was the fastest I’d ever been able to walk through the city since everyone on the sidewalk went to great lengths to get out of our way.
I made a mental note to dress like a crazy person more often.
Because I hated crowded sidewalks. And other humans in general.
“We’re here,” Nigel said, abruptly stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
Huh? I stared at the building next to us. “The entrance to Club Onyx is through a Starbucks?”
“Mhm. This way,” Nigel said and opened the door to Starbucks.
“I should have known the entrance would be somewhere so basic,” Chastity said and walked through the door. “No one would ever even look if they didn’t know.”
“The entrance to Club Onyx is really through here?” I asked.
Nigel nodded without making eye contact.
That seemed like a yes if I ever saw one. I also didn’t like to make direct eye contact with people.
Nigel ignored the line of customers and went straight to the restroom. “In there,” he said and opened the door for us.
“Oh, I don’t need to go,” said Chastity. “And even if I did…I wouldn’t use a public restroom. I’d stop by one of the finance buildings and flirt with a guard so I pee in luxury.”
“It’s the entrance,” said Nigel.
“Really?” Chastity frowned. “I don’t remember smelling coffee or pastries or pee the first time we went to Club Onyx.”
“That’s because there was a bag over your head.” It kind of looked like Nigel was contemplating bagging her again.
“Come on,” I said and grabbed Chastity’s hand. “We don’t have time to dilly dally.” I pulled her into the bathroom.
She stepped over a piece of loose toilet paper and shuddered.
And then the door slammed shut behind us.
We both spun around. Nigel was not standing behind us. And then we heard the click of a lock. Which made no sense because the lock was on this side.
“Nigel!” I yelled and grabbed the doorknob.
But the jerk had somehow locked us in. I turned the lock back and forth, but it did no good.
“Nigel, what the heck? You’re supposed to be showing us how to get into Club Onyx!
” And I had a feeling this was definitely not the entrance.
Chastity was right. I would have smelled pastries through a bag over my head.
I could always smell baked goods. It was a blessing and a curse.
“You’re not allowed in Club Onyx. You’re in time out!” he shouted through the door.
“Nigel, let us out!” I yelled.
“Never!”
Did he seriously just lock us in a random bathroom to prevent us from finding the real entrance to Club Onyx? And was he serious about never letting us out?
“Nigel, let us out right now,” Chastity said.
“No!”
“Yes!” Chastity yelled back.
“I don’t even know who you are, Chastain!”
“Chastain?” Chastity laughed. “You know that’s not my name, Nigel!”
“No I don’t. Now silence! I’ll be back once I find Tanner. Until then, you two stay put.”
“Nigel!” I banged on the door. “Please don’t leave us in here! I’m claustrophobic.” I’d never been diagnosed or anything, but the walls were definitely closing in on me.
“I’m sorry there’s no bath in there to calm you down! But I had to think fast!”
I’d rather die than step into a bath that had been used by others. And I was pretty sure Nigel knew that.
“Au revoir!” he yelled.
“What the hell did you just say to me?!” That son of a bitch!
Chastity laughed. “He just said bye in French.”
“You know I don’t speak French!”
“Take a deep breath. There will surely be a homeless person that needs to pee soon. And the manager will open the door. We’ll be in here for a couple of minutes tops.”
I never thought I’d need Homeless Rutherford to save me. “I don’t have a couple of minutes. I can’t breathe!” I tried to take a deep breath, but there was no air. How were we already out of air?
“Ash, snap out of it,” Chastity said and shook my shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine.”
“How? We’re locked in a bathroom and Tanner’s been kidnapped!”
“Possibly kidnapped. But probably just taken to an emergency sex auction.”
But she hadn’t seen what had happened. He’d definitely been taken by DODO. I hip-checked the door. Ow. Why did that always work in movies? I grabbed my hip. “I think I broke it.”
“The door seems fine to me.”
“Not the door! My hip!”
“Here, sit down. No, wait. Don’t.”
We both stared at the puddle on the ground. I had no idea if it was pee of some sort of beverage. I really hoped it was the latter. Who the hell would pop a squat and piss in the middle of the floor when there was a toilet right there?
I started slamming my fists against the door. “Homeless Rutherford! Save us!”