This Is War - Chapter 6 - The Envelope
“Ready to open this?” asked Chastity. She waved the little black envelope in the air, taunting me with it.
Just like she’d been doing all day. It had been pure torture having to wait until after work to open it.
But also a great distraction from grabbing my new boss’ dingdong.
And for having a new boss to begin with.
BIMG was the worst. They all deserved to have their dicks grabbed.
“Yes!” I took my Odegaards off and started cleaning the blue bottoms.
She sat down on my couch and made a show of getting comfy. “Don’t you want to know where I got it?”
“Yes.”
She just stared at me.
“Are you seriously not going to tell me? You dirty tease.”
“Hey! I’m a lot of things, but I am not a tease.”
That was probably true. Except in this one case. “Then prove it and tell me everything.”
“Okay, okay. You can do the honors.” She held the envelope out for me.
I grabbed for it, but she pulled it back.
“On one condition,” she said.
“Which is?”
“You have to promise to do whatever it says on this card.”
That was a dangerous promise to make. It had been months since I’d read the contract, but I still knew what sorts of things the Society expected from their members.
Unprotected sex. With strangers. In public.
Or as Tanner referred to it - the pursuit of true love.
Gag. What a little dickwad. He wouldn’t know true love if it mollywhopped him right in the face.
“I’ll do whatever it says. Within reason. ”
“Nope. You agree, or this card stays a mystery.”
“Then no deal. If you’re making me agree ahead of time, then there must be something truly awful on that card.”
Chastity flipped it around to show me the unbroken seal. “I don’t know what it says. But I do know that I can’t bear to sit around while you hide from life.”
“I’m not hiding from life.” Am I?
“How many hours did you work this week?”
A lot. “I didn’t keep track.”
“How many days did you eat dinner at the office this week?”
Four. “None.”
Chastity raised an eyebrow. “Liar. I was with you last night. We had Gochujang Palace delivered to the office.”
“Gah, fine. But what’s wrong with that? I’m working on my career. Investing in my future.” Burying my emotional trauma of only being able to keep a boyfriend for 24 hours.
“And how’s that working out for you? Because last time I checked, you didn’t get the promotion.”
“Why am I never good enough?”
“What are you talking about? You deserved that promotion. Although I’m not mad about the man candy they hired. Seriously, was his penis really small? That would be devastating.”
I shook my head. “It’s not just the promotion.
It’s everything. I wasn’t good enough for Tanner, or he wouldn’t have skipped town right after I confessed my love to him.
And I wasn’t even good enough for Joe. Joe!
His freaking nickname is Cupcake and he’s 5’6 with a tiny little baby penis.
I mean…if I’m not good enough for Joe then I should just hurl myself out the window. ..”
Chastity pulled me into a big hug so I wouldn’t go through with it. “Joe’s an asshole. And so was Tanner. But there are good guys out there.”
“Maybe.”
“There are. But you’ll never find them if you hide behind a desk. You have to go out and look for them. And yes, I know I haven’t found my person yet. But I’m sure as hell having fun trying.”
“You really think I’ll find my person?” I asked.
“I know you will,” said Chastity. She sounded so sure of it. “But you have to start living. You have to start saying yes.”
Start saying yes. She made it sound so simple.
But saying yes was impossible. My mind wasn’t built to say yes to things.
It was built to overanalyze and freak out and hide.
That’s why I had a list of new things to try.
Oh my God, what happened to my list? No wonder I was spiraling, I’d lost it.
I was listless. Maybe I should just try this saying yes thing instead.
It would be easier than keeping track of a piece of paper.
Besides, half the things on it had been impossible to cross off anyway.
“Now,” said Chastity. “Let’s try this again. Will you do whatever the card says?”
No . Damn it! I was supposed to be saying yes. I took a deep breath. “Yes.”
Chastity smiled and handed it to me. “Good. I hope you’re ready to get gangbanged by a football team.”
“WHAT?!”
“Just kidding. I think. Open it!”
I tore through the golden wax seal and pulled out a single sheet of thick parchment.
Raven Black & Chastity Morgan,
Congratulations! You’ve been promoted to novus (silver) members.
We look forward to seeing you at Club Onyx.
I read it twice to make sure I was reading it right. “I have so many questions.”
“Such as?”
“Well for starters, what made them let us back into the Society? And how did we get promoted to novus members?”
“Who could resist this face?” Chastity batted her eyelashes.
“So you found a member and slept with him?”
“No!”
“Of course you did.”
“I really didn’t!”
“I’m so confused. Usually you’re so excited to admit when you use your body to get what you want. Isn’t there even a Single Girl Rule about that?”
“Rule #25: Don’t be ashamed to use sex to get what you want. If I’d used sex, I’d happily admit it. But I didn’t.”
“Then how?”
“It’s a secret. You’ve read the Society’s rules, right? They take their secrets very seriously.”
Gah! “Is that why they didn’t bother to give us the address for this mysterious Club Onyx? Because you already know where it is?”
“It’s probably on their app.”
“My app got deleted.”
“You sure about that?”
I was. I grabbed my phone and opened my list of apps. Tax Codes was the last app on the list, which was the codename for the Society’s app.
“What the hell? I could have sworn that disappeared when Tanner left.” Yup. Chastity definitely slept with someone to make this happen.
“Well, it’s back now.”
I clicked the app and navigated to the RSVP page:
Club Onyx Orientation - Open Invitation
Caldwell Hotel
Floor 62
7 th and W 52 nd St
New York, NY 10019
Below that were two options: accept or decline. But nothing else. No information about what Club Onyx was. Or what we were supposed to wear. Or what filthy things we could expect to happen there.
“I can’t believe it!” yelled Chastity.
“Believe what?”
“That it’s at the Caldwell Hotel. I freaking knew it was there.”
She was right - she had guessed it. It was where I’d gone on my first Society date.
A bunch of the apartments were filled with hot dudes that I could have dated.
And like an idiot, I’d chosen Tanner. Even after Frankie had warned me that his pipes were rusty and his walls were filled with asbestos. I should have listened to her.
And I should have listened to Chastity during our last drunken spy mission to find the Society’s HQ.
Chastity shook her head. “I knew that hot liftman was lying to us when he said that the top floors were all apartments. What an asshole!”
“Well what’d you expect him to do? It’s probably his job to make sure that non-Society members can’t get in.”
“You’re just defending him because you have a crush on him.”
“I do not.” Do I? “He’s not my type. He was too…rugged. I bet he had all sorts of tattoos under that uniform.”
“So you’ve been thinking about him naked?”
“No. I was just saying…”
“And tell me again why sexy tattoos are a bad thing?”
“You’re impossible. I want a classy gentleman.
” But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had a few dreams about that sexy, tattooed liftman lifting me against the elevator doors and having his way with me.
What? You would too if you hadn’t been touched by a man since your 24-hour boyfriend disappeared months ago.
Unless you counted groping your new boss.
Which I did not. Because that never happened.
Why wasn’t I better at repressing things? !
“Then what are you waiting for?” Chastity hopped up and opened the bookcase that led to my gigantic closet. “Let’s get ready to party!”
“It’s just an orientation.”
“Then let’s get ready to be oriented!”
“Hmmm…yeah, that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. You were right the first time - let’s party!” And hopefully not get AIDS.