23. Sonya
Sonya
“ Y ou have to stop this.” Dad appeared at my office door, red-faced and angry, with that determined glint in his eyes that I knew well.
Other than flicking a gaze in his direction, I didn’t acknowledge him. My fingers didn’t stop typing and my attention never left the screen.
“Sonya,” he growled. “I’m serious. This is my career.” And there it was, the real reason he was darkening my office door.
I finished the social media post I was working on, scheduled it and pushed away from my desk to give him my full attention.
Tension electrified the space between us before I let out a low, humorless laugh.
“And your career is the only thing that matters, right?” My tone was sharp and bitter.
“Well, you know what, Dad, that’s your problem.
” I folded my arms, putting even more space between us, at least emotionally.
His shoulders squared, that broad and totally immovable stance that Coach Mac was known for. It was meant to intimidate refs and rookies alike. Too bad, I was immune to it. “You’re making a mess,” he accused. “You’ve been using the press against me.”
I shrugged, not bothered by his words because he was right. I’d been working nonstop to save Nick’s job. He loved the Thunderhawks. This was where he belonged. “Unlike you, I’m doing what’s best for the team.”
He took a step forward, hands fisted on his hips. “This is my legacy.”
“Spoiler alert, Dad, this whole damn team isn’t about you.
Your legacy is a you problem. Not me. Not Nick.
Not anyone else.” My heart pounded against my chest. This was the first time since I left home, left Canada that Dad and I had a blowup like this.
The confrontation never got easier but this time I wasn’t a terrified little girl, I was a pissed off woman looking out for her man. Who might not even be my man anymore.
“You need to stop, Sonya. I’m serious.”
I shook my head. “I don’t answer to you, Coach Mac.”
He winced as if I’d smacked him. “Fine, think about this team and the players. Do you want them to get hurt in all this?”
“You’re the one hurting the team, Dad!” I shouldn’t have raised my voice. It was the quickest way to get him to dismiss me as emotional but it couldn’t be helped.
“I would never,” he grumbled and shook his head.
“If not,” Jade appeared behind him, startling him slightly because the slender woman moved like a ninja, “you’re doing a damn good impression of someone trying to hurt my team.” Neither of us missed the emphasis she put on my team.
“Not you too, Jade.” Dad seemed genuinely shocked by her words.
She slipped past Dad and stepped into my office with a slightly amused expression on her face.
She leaned against the wall, arms folded as her gaze bounced between me and my dad.
“I’ve seen the stats, Mac. It’s no surprise the press is beating the shit out of you.
” Her words were calm but there was a thread of steel between each syllable.
“You have an all-star defenseman sitting at home and for what? Your ego?” Her gaze flicked to me once again.
“Jade,” he growled, annoyed and angry, floundering because for once the whole damn world wasn’t on his side.
“No, Mac. I’ve given you a lot of leeway over the years because you’ve always prioritized what was best for the team. But Nick didn’t break any rules. He didn’t get arrested or commit any other code of conduct violations.” She stared at my dad, daring him to deny it.
“So what, are you gonna overrule me?”
Jade’s red lips pulled into a flat line, one brow arched up. “Do I have to?”
Instead of glaring at Jade, he turned his anger back to me because, of course , he did. “You did this.”
I shrugged. “It seems like you did this, Dad.” I pushed to my feet, arms still folded, body vibrated with anger.
“You fired Nick for dating me when the truth is that you don’t even give a damn about me,” I shot at him, my anger boiled over at that point.
“So this isn’t about me or about his performance, it’s about your disgusting need to control everything around you. ”
Shock hit him first and then sadness. “That isn’t true. None of it.”
I wanted to believe it so badly my body shook with the need, but I shrugged it off because I knew the truth. ‘From here that’s exactly what it looks like.” I shook my head. “You fired him because you found out we were dating, which is none of your damn business.”
“It’s not about dating,” he roared. “It’s about trust.”
I laughed. “Trust that your little players will do everything you say, even off the field. No matter what.”
He wanted to argue; I saw it behind that flash of anger he quickly banked before pulling his lips into his mouth and shaking his head in disappointment. His shoulders sagged and then he left without another word.
My office was suddenly quiet and the tension was gone instantly. The room was bigger, the air easier to inhale.
“Nicely done,” Jade said, breaking the silence before she turned to fully face me. “The fan campaign is working. Those giveaway entries for the MVP vote? Genius. Keep up the good work.”
A small smirk touched my lips. “I thought you didn’t get involved in player-coach disputes?”
“I don’t,” she answered easily. “But I do get involved in bad business decisions, which benching Nick this season is.” She studied me while her words sank in.
“That said,” she sighed and headed to the door.
“I’m not sure Nick is going to want to come back to a pissed-off coach who has the power to keep him benched for the rest of his career. ”
I nodded; the thought had occurred to me. “At least the choice will be Nick’s.”
Jade’s look was long and measured. She nodded. “Sometimes that’s the thing that matters most.” And then she was gone, and I was left alone with my thoughts.
Once again.
I managed another hour of work before I packed up my bag and headed home.
It was late, the kind of late where the arena was dark and quiet except for the hum of thousands of vending machines and soda dispensers.
I rushed out of the building and drove home in silence, mind racing as I wondered if this was a fight worth having if Nick had already given up on me.
On us.
“No.” I shook that off because this wasn’t about us, it was about what was right. He deserved his career, whether or not he chose me.
Us.
I’d just stepped from my car when I spotted the familiar, dark figure on my doorstep.
Nick. My heart stuttered in my chest at the sight of him.
It had been too long since I laid eyes on him, since the morning Dad showed up and blew it all to hell.
I drew closer, taking in the differences from that morning.
The previously nonexistent shadows under his eyes were darker and more prominent.
He hadn’t shaved at all and there was a pain in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Still, above all else he was Nick.
My Nick.
Or…not. “Nick.” I said his name cautiously as I stepped up and brushed past him to unlock my door. “What’s up,” I asked, trying to sound casual.
He winced as if I’d punched him. “I guess I deserve that. No,” he shook his head. “I don’t guess, I know I do.”
I folded my arms across my chest to protect my heart. “You’ve ignored all of my calls and texts so why are you here?”
“I was too messed up to see you, which is the quick and easy answer.”
“Is it the honest answer?” I had to ask because it hurt, it really fucking hurt that he’d cut me off.
“Of course.” He raked a hand through his thick hair and let out a heavy sigh. “Look, I know it wasn’t fair but I couldn’t let you see me like that. I couldn’t see you like that.”
I scoffed. “I’ve seen you not at your best before. After losses, a twisted ankle and an unknown swelling in your knee and too many concussion scares to count. But,” I finally turned to him and sighed. “Thanks for clearing up everything.”
He reached out to me, frowning when I stepped back. “Clears what up?”
“That you weren’t feeling what I was feeling. That the thrill of getting caught is over and so are we.” It felt like someone kicked me in the chest and I took another step back.
“That’s not true,” he growled as panic flared in his blue eyes.
“It is,” I sighed as the truth settled around me like an incredibly itchy cloak. “You don’t have to be perfect or at your best all the time with me, or whoever you decide to be in a real relationship with. That’s a tip for when you find a woman who matters to you.”
He flinched again and under normal circumstances I’d be impressed that I landed such a clean hit. But Nick didn’t argue, which more than anything else, told me that I was right.
It hurt like hell but I knew the routine. It would hurt for a while and then with each passing day it would hurt less and less until it was nothing more than a dull, Nick-shaped ache in my chest.