Chapter Fifteen
Lucy
The rain is coming down hard as I back away from Max. Making it harder to see him the closer I get to the main street. But even through the veil of water, there’s no dismissing how broken he looks. I don’t want to turn away from him. Fuck. I don’t want any of this. I just can’t see another way.
When the noise of the street becomes louder, I finally turn around, taking in the people who are laughing and joking as they dash into bars to take cover from the weather.
I don’t, though. I keep walking, letting the rain soak into me, even when my cheeks become so wet, I have to swipe away the dampness, I keep going.
I really should go and get a cab home, but home is the last place I want to be right now.
The one place I want to go to isn’t an option.
My phone is vibrating in my pocket, and begrudgingly, I pull it out to see three messages.
Liz – Hi honey, I have put some leftovers in the fridge for you.
I roll my eyes, smiling at my phone. She is trying so hard to make me feel at home. She knew I was out tonight, but also that I didn’t really want to go. I bet she expected me back hours ago.
Sara – I cannot wait to see you! Two more sleeps!!! I hope you’re ready to meet your mystery man.
With the way my head has been spinning, I forgot all about heading to London to see Sara. We planned it before we even left the ship, but the double date idea of hers was arranged the day after I got home. I wasn’t asked if I wanted it. I was told.
A few nights away from here will be heaven for me. I might actually book an extra night and go earlier.
Then the last one…
Max – Let me know when you’ve made it back. Stay safe.
The way my stomach somersaults at seeing his name lit up on my phone screen isn’t normal.
I should never have tasted the forbidden fruit.
I wouldn’t be in this situation if I had kept my feelings to myself.
But… that short time with him was the happiest moment I can ever recall having. Moments I have treasured ever since.
Maybe this double date will be good for me, and maybe, just maybe, I can get over this fear I have.
A fear I haven’t told anyone, not even Sara.
It’s irrational, but aren’t all fears? Every time I have gotten close to being with another man, I haven’t been able to go all the way.
At the time, when it’s happening, I want it.
I just can’t. I have been on so many dates, even gone as far as kissing them, but I never made it past that stage.
Because all I wanted was Max.
This crippling anxiety would take hold of me every time I got close to sex, as though I was cheating on him. Which I clearly wasn’t. Maybe it was my own heart I was cheating. How can I sleep with someone whilst thinking of another? It doesn’t feel right.
Either way, tonight proves I need to get over him. Or under someone else. Anything to make me forget and help my heart to heal. It isn’t doing either of us any good hanging onto something that won’t be. No matter how much we want it.
Looking like a drowned rat, I call for an Uber. I just need to get home, go to sleep, and reset. Tonight has turned into one hell of a shit show, and I can’t wait for it to be over.
“How long will you be gone for?” Dad asks.
This morning, I’d had enough of moping around and decided to book that extra night in the hotel.
It seems to be a common thing for me, running away.
I have gotten so good at it, though, it’s my default setting.
At least this time it’s only for three nights and not a year-long contract.
I didn’t even say goodbye to my dad and Liz before I left.
“Only three days. I’m meeting Sara later for dinner and drinks. Don’t worry, I won’t stay away for too long.”
“You better not, I have only just got you back. I’ve liked having you back home where you belong.” I can hear the joke in his voice.
“I should hope so.” I laugh.
“Look after yourself and say hello to Sara for me. Love you, Lucy-Lou.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I drag my small suitcase behind me as I check into the hotel.
I wasn’t expecting much from the pictures online, and with it being situated above a pub, but I instantly fall in love with the feel.
It’s small and quirky, more like a boutique B&B than a regular old man's pub. With the prices in London, this is the best I can afford now that I’m currently unemployed.
I’ve saved up quite a bit over the years, enough to get me by comfortably for a while. I don’t really want to waste it, though, because who knows when my next job will come along. Or if I even want to carry on with all the traveling. It gets tedious after a while.
My room is light and airy, filled with antique wooden furnishings. One is a huge four-poster bed surrounded by sheer drapes. It kind of reminds me of an old school Hollywood film. Even the floors are wood, with beautiful, large rugs covering the majority of them.
I decide to ditch my bags, freshen up quickly, and head straight out to meet Sara. It feels like forever since I last saw her, and it’s only been a matter of weeks.
Lucy – Girl! Where are you?
Sara – Sugarplum! I’ll drop my location. The bar is called Maloney’s… you know how much I love me an Irish bar.
Lucy – An Irish bar or an Irish man?
Sara – Do I have to pick?
Giggling to myself, I open the map and follow it along to where she is.
Luckily, it only takes a few minutes to get there.
It’s one of those bars that you can hear before it even comes into view.
The large folding doors are open wide, with the patrons spilling out onto the street, singing along to the current band that’s playing.
The kind of bar where everyone is having a good time.
I make my way through the busy crowd on the hunt for Sara, to find her sitting at the bar with two men on either side.
One I vaguely remember from a house party back in college days.
The other one I have definitely never met before, because with a face like that, there is no way I could forget it.
He has a Jason Momoa vibe, dressed casually with messy, tousled curls tied back off his face.
This shows off his strong jawline and deep brown eyes.
He’s the kind of man I would never approach.
I feel way too inadequate to even attempt chatting him up.
The three of them haven’t noticed me until I call out. “Sara!”
“Lucy!” She shouts back as soon as she sees me. Her full face brightens even more when she spots me. “God, I have missed you. We can never, ever, go this long without each other again! It has been torture.” She complains, before hopping off her barstool and enveloping me in a tight hug.
“I know. You’re not allowed to leave me to fend for myself. You’re going to have to move in with me up north.” I joke, knowing she would never do such a thing.
Last time she came to see me, she told me how cute it is around Bewdley. But also, how boring it was. She needs the nightlife and craziness of being near a big city.
“Nope, not happening. We just need to find another job together.” She smiles, taking my hand to pull me over to her friends. “This is my best friend in the whole world, Lucy. And this is Leon and Riley.”
So, sex on legs is called Riley. I take a mental note, not that I’ll be forgetting that man's name any time soon. But what I don’t get is why they’re here.
Tonight was meant to be just us two, unless she’s just met them at the bar whilst she was waiting for me.
With her confidence, I wouldn’t put it past her.
“Hi guys,” I squeak out. My nerves are getting the better of me. I will kill her later for not giving me the heads up. If I had known she was planning this, I would have put more effort into my appearance.
That’s until Riley lays eyes on me and gives me the most sexual come fuck me look I ever did see.
He stands and holds a hand out to me. “Aren’t you a pretty little thing?
” His voice is rough, matching his appearance to perfection.
“Sara said you were beautiful, but beautiful doesn’t do you justice. ”
Holy mother of God. I don’t need a mirror to know I am red from my head to my toes at the compliment. It is something I get told often, but I just don’t know how to take it.
Scrambling for the right thing to say, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “Thank you. So are you.”
So are you?
What the hell is wrong with me?
He just laughs, shaking his head slightly. Even his teeth are perfect. He has a twinkle in his eye as he studies me. “What would you like to drink?”
Something strong.
“A vodka, lime, and lemonade would be amazing, thanks.”
The second he turns to face the bar, I whip my head around to glare at Sara. The little bitch has a hand over her mouth, hiding her snicker. I narrow my eyes, making it clear how annoyed I am at her. How could she not warn me I was meeting Goliath reincarnate tonight?
“What have you ladies got planned whilst you’re in the city?” Leon asks as Riley passes me my drink. It takes all of my willpower not to down the whole thing in one.
“Shopping, exploring, and partying,” Sara answers, bouncing with excitement. “We’re going to be proper tourists and do it all. Lucy has never been to Buckingham Palace!”
“And the London Eye, I’ve always wanted to go on it,” I add, my own excitement taking over. I may have travelled the world, but I have never explored my own country… and I can’t wait!
“I can be your tour guide, if you like?” Riley’s smooth voice says from beside me. “I’ve lived here for a while and know it quite well.”
“Yes!” Sara interrupts. “We’d love that, wouldn’t we, Lucy?” She adds pointedly.
“Mmhmm, sounds great.” So much for a girl’s trip. So I will have more chances to embarrass myself, just what I needed.
“Don’t sound too excited,” Riley adds, his eyes filled with amusement.
I smile sheepishly at him, not wanting to come across as rude. “I’m sorry, I am so socially awkward sometimes I don’t even realise it.”
“Don’t worry, I get it. Come on, why don’t we go and take a seat, and you can tell me all about your travels.”
He is sexy and kind. What a dangerous mix of the two.
Maybe he should be the stallion I get back on, maybe it’s time to saddle up.
I’ve got to do it at some point, and what are the chances of me ever seeing him again?
I need to get over Max, and getting under Riley seems to be the perfect plan.
My vagina might close over soon if I don’t put it to use.
Max. I think this is the longest I have ever gone without thinking about him.
Especially when I’m around another man. I haven’t compared the two once, but there is no comparison.
I don’t think you could get two more opposite men if you tried.
Where Riley is all gruff and manly, Max is charming and funny.
Both men are beautiful in their own way.
The main difference being… Max is the one who has my heart, but that doesn’t mean Riley can’t have another part of me.