Chapter 26
Marco
I don’t go into work on Monday because I don’t think I can stomach seeing Erica.
Instead, I book an impromptu trip to the Hamptons to get away and enjoy the last bits of summer by the beach.
I deserve a vacation every now and then anyway.
I can’t remember the last time I got away.
Plus, the Hamptons isn’t too far if something hits the fan at work. I can be back in just over two hours.
Before I go, I make sure everything is in order at work, including Erica’s reassignment.
After she left yesterday afternoon, I paced my apartment furiously for what felt like hours, until I felt I would leave track marks in the floor.
I called my lawyer, Elliott, and convinced him to come over on his day off by offering him triple his hourly rate.
Together, we drew up a new contract for Erica and her reassignment to a new department.
I know I could have fired her. I’m so angry that I just might have, but something stopped me.
I remembered the mocha eyes of my daughter looking back at me on that phone and it made me reconsider a rash decision.
If I hurt Erica by firing her, then it hurts Josie.
I can’t do that to an innocent baby. My baby.
Even just knowing her name pains me. So instead of firing Erica, I moved her to a different department where I will see her less.
I didn’t explain the real reason to Elliott, and he didn’t ask any questions.
To him, it was just a normal thing for a CEO to do, especially me during an acquisition.
If I’m not firing someone, they’re being moved around in any way I see fit.
Once the contract was drawn up, I had it sent over to my HR department this morning, putting the job of delivering the news to Erica on them.
After Elliott left yesterday evening, I called the housekeepers at my Hamptons house to ready my beach house.
I haven’t been since last year. Now I’m in the back of my town car on my way there.
The two-hour drive leaves me plenty of time alone with my thoughts, as I watch the city disappear from view and a tree line highway replace it.
The image of Josie’s face lingers in my mind.
She’s so beautiful and I see so much of me in her.
I wonder how old she is. I wonder what her first word was, or if she’s taken her first step.
There’s so much about her I don’t know, all thanks to Erica.
I can’t help but resent her for the memories she’s made with our daughter.
I don’t even know why I’m so angry. Being a father was not on my radar.
It wasn’t something I ever thought about, though my mother brought it up often.
I have always been too busy running my company to think about having a kid.
Plus, having a kid meant finding a woman and settling down.
At least in most cases. Of course, that’s not the case for me.
Even though I didn’t think about it, or want to be a father, I’m still upset the opportunity was taken away from me and hidden from me for so long.
I feel completely betrayed by the woman I was falling for.
Jacob had been right about me when he saw us at the ball together.
I just couldn’t admit it to myself yet. But as time passed, I knew that I was drawn to Erica in a way I couldn’t explain.
And now she had hurt me in a way that’s far worse than the women I had dated in the past who were just after me for my money, before I decided to leave that part of my life out.
Before I decided to be more private. Incognito.
I chuckle softly to myself at the ways I had tried to protect myself, and I still got hurt.
My phone vibrates in my jacket pocket. I pull it out and see it’s the office calling. I sigh. I can’t just get away for two days without them needing me.
“Hello?” I answer, somewhat gruffly.
“Um, hi, Mr. Vallejos,” says a woman’s voice on the other line.
“Who am I speaking to?”
“Oh, yes. It’s Holly from HR,” she says nervously.
“Oh right. Hello.”
“I just wanted to let you know that the reassignment has been completed, despite a hiccup at security this morning. Ms. Gunner has signed the contract and been moved to her new department.”
“Hiccup at security?” I ask curiously.
“Oh, her badge wouldn’t work. She seemed really worked up about it. I guess she thought she was getting fired?”
I feel a tinge of guilt creep in.
“Ahh, well I’m glad it’s all been sorted out. And her office?”
“Emptied out as of this morning. I suspect you’ll want me to find someone to fill it?”
“Perhaps when I get back. I’m on my way out of the city.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to interrupt your vacation,” she says, her voice jumping a nervous octave.
“It’s fine. Thank you for taking care of that this morning. Good day.”
I hang up and press my head against the window, thinking about what must have happened this morning when Erica arrived at the office. The whole security thing wasn’t a part of my plan. I didn’t want to scare her completely, but the fact that she was worked up over everything eats away at me.
I still care for her. How can I not? We just spent the night together two nights ago.
One of the best nights of my life, aside from the first we had together.
When I woke up yesterday morning, I felt so at ease with her next to me, thinking that maybe this was it.
Maybe I had found someone special. But of course, it’s never that easy, is it?
Except with Erica it is. Or was, before I found out the truth, and after she had finally taken down her walls with me.
She was so easy to be around, easy to talk to.
She eased me into opening up in a way I normally didn’t, especially about my mother.
I don’t talk to anyone about her because it’s too painful.
Too personal. I haven’t ever let myself get close enough to share that part of my life.
My phone buzzes on the seat next to me, interrupting my thoughts. I roll my eyes as I pick it up.
“What?” I bark into the phone.
“Marco?” asks my mother’s voice on the other line.
“Mama,” I say in relief. “I’m sorry about that.”
“What’s wrong?” she says worriedly.
“Nothing, Mama.”
“Marco. I know you. Please tell me…” she says.
I almost want to. I want to tell her everything, let it all pour out of me in the sticky mess that it is.
But I can’t. Even though my mother had her heart attack a year ago, and has tried to convince me she’s fine, I still worry about her.
I don’t want to stress her out. I don’t want to worry her. And all this would just break her.
It makes me want to hate Erica even more for denying my mother a chance at being a grandmother. She won’t get that chance with Josie, and I can’t tell her what she’s missing out on. It would break her heart.
“It’s nothing. Really. Just work, which is why I’m getting away for a few days to the Hamptons house.”
She is quiet for a moment, as if she’s trying to determine if she believes me or not.
“Okay,” she says. “I’m glad you’re getting away. You’re too stressed, mijo.”
“I know. Do you want to come? I can send a car for you.”
“Oh, no, no. I have bridge club tomorrow and am helping out at the library bake sale.”
“Mama, you do too much,” I say, frustrated.
“And you worry too much,” she challenges me.
I laugh softly. She’s stubborn. Just like me.
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Okay, Mama?”
“Te amo, Marco.”
“Te amo, Mama.”
I hang up and turn it on do not disturb mode, only allowing calls from my mother or the hospital to come through. I want to be completely unplugged from work and if there’s any chance that Erica might try to get in touch about her reassignment. Or our fight. If that’s what you could call it.
A little while later, my town car pulls onto a dirt road lined by large, smooth rocks leading up to my house.
It parks in front of the circular driveway and I climb out, stretching my body after the drive and breathing in the ocean air.
I look up at the two-story house, white with blue trim and a wraparound upper deck.
This is exactly where I need to be right now.
I thank my driver and grab my suitcase, rolling it toward the front door.
I don’t unpack before I head out the back French doors toward the white sand beach that awaits just steps away.
Outside, I take my shoes off and roll up the hem of my pants before stepping into the warm, soft sand.
I wiggle my toes and admire the view of the ocean, gentle waves crashing against the shore.
I walk toward it, finding a spot just out of reach of the wet, white foam, and taking a seat in the sand.
The beach is surprisingly empty for it being the last part of summer, but then again, it is a Monday.
There is an elderly couple strolling the beach and a family down the way on my right setting up an umbrella and a few large towels.
I lean back against my elbows and welcome the sun that warms my face as I watch the family set up for their beach day.
I don’t know why my eyes are drawn to them.
The mother is pulling snacks from the cooler and handing juice boxes to her toddler, while cradling what looks to be a newborn baby, as the father wrestles to get the umbrella open.
I smile as I watch them laugh at the father’s expense, who, despite his frustration, is doing his best and enjoying the laughter he’s getting from his family.
These are things I never would have noticed before.
Would never have cared about. But now that I know that I have a daughter out there, it’s like something in me has changed.
I’m a father. But I know I’ll never have what this family has.
Their laughter. Their love. Their life void of secrets. Something in my heart aches over this.
I look away from them and out at the water. I have to accept that I won’t ever be a part of Josie’s life. I will have to pretend that she doesn’t exist. That I don’t know about her. It’s what Erica wants, anyway. She’s made that clear by keeping her from me.
Besides, it’s not like I know the first thing about being a father.
Maybe it’s best I keep my distance. I wouldn’t want to screw anything up.
Plus, if I had to tell my mother everything, it would only hurt her to know she missed crucial years with her granddaughter and the fact that the mother and I don’t have a relationship anymore.
Really, we never did. I can’t disappoint my mother like that.
I sigh and close my eyes. No, it’s best for everyone if I stay away. I’ll stay out of Josie’s life. Out of Erica’s life. I try not to hate her for it.
I pull myself from the sand and head inside to the small bar adjacent to the kitchen. If I’m going to be alone in this beautiful place with these ugly thoughts, I may as well have a drink. Or three. To dull my pain.