Chapter 36
Marco
I reach over and take a sip of ice-cold water as Jacob finishes the last of his bourbon.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t look tempting, but I’m trying to be better about drinking.
Especially during my lunch breaks. I don’t know what it is, but ever since I saw my daughter in that daycare, part of me wants to be better for her.
If I ever get the chance to be in her life, that is…
“How’s the water?” asks Jacob with a smirk. “I hear it’s really good here.”
I give him a vulgar gesture from across the table before cutting into my steak.
He puts his hands up and chuckles. “Hey, hey. I’m just giving you shit.”
“Some people have to work, you know?”
“Hey, I’m on my lunch break, too…”
“Mhmm.”
I roll my eyes. Jacob barely has to lift a finger at his job and he makes millions.
That’s what happens when your father is CEO of one of the biggest chain retailers in North America.
You can scrape by and no one can say anything to you, unless it’s his father.
But he’s a pushover. He lets Jacob get away with anything, like coming back from lunch drunk on the two and a half bourbons he’s had since we got here.
“How is work?” He pops a bite of steak in his mouth, chewing slowly. “With that one chick. Man, she is hot.”
I try not to let the way he talks about Erica get to me. It’s Jacob. He talks about all women like this.
“Works fine. I honestly don’t see her anymore.”
“Damn. That’s a bummer.”
I push the food around on my plate with a fork, thinking about how everything I’ve tried in order to see her this week has failed.
Everything, but actually going to her cubicle.
I’m at the point where I might have to, but I don’t even know what I would say.
Clearly, the flowers did nothing to help my situation.
After lunch with Jacob, I head back to the office and don’t bother waiting around the lobby like I have been.
I head to the elevators and press the button, stepping into the one that immediately opens.
The doors are about to close when I see a hand pop through just in time, forcing them to open.
I suck in a breath when I see Erica step inside.
She spots me in the corner. It’s just the two of us in here, and she stops short just inside the doors that close behind her. We are completely alone now as the elevator begins its climb.
“Hey,” I say softly, knowing there’s a better first word to say to her after everything.
“Hey,” she replies.
“How have you been?”
“Fine, thanks.”
She looks down at her feet and fiddles with her fingers.
I can tell she’s nervous. This is an awkward situation, but one I have been hoping would happen.
The floors of the elevator keep dinging by and I know I’m running out of time in this small moment I have with her.
I feel frantic as I see we only have ten more floors to go.
“Do you think we can talk?” I say quickly, the words rushing out of me before I can stop to rethink them.
“Now?” she asks, looking up.
“If you can…” I shrug.
She chews on the inside of her cheek, her perfect lips pulling to the side and all I want to do is pull her in for a kiss because I’ve missed her.
I’ve missed her like hell. It doesn’t matter how angry I was, the hold she has on me is deep and I can’t seem to untangle myself from the invisible fingers she has wrapped around me.
“Please,” I say softly.
She looks at me, considering it. The elevator dings and the doors open to our floor.
My time is up. I just need to know if she will give me more of it.
We step out of the elevators and to my surprise she falls in step with me, passing her department, and walking into my office.
I close the door behind us and sit down behind my desk. She takes the seat across from me.
The last time she was in here I told her I wished I never met her, along with some other choice words that I regret. Words that made her cry. Again. I’ve gotten into the horrible habit of making this beautiful woman cry, and I hate myself for it. Despite what she did, I hate myself.
“Did you get the flowers?” I ask, knowing the answer because of the signed delivery.
She nods.
“And the card…?” I think maybe it slipped out somewhere in the delivery.
She nods again.
I wonder if she’s going to say anything at all. I feel like an idiot asking her these questions and getting the bare minimum. We sit in silence for a little while.
“Why did you do it?” she asks.
“Do what?”
“The flowers. The apology. Why?” Her eyes narrow in on me.
I feel confused, like my intention wasn’t clear.
“Because I’m sorry, Erica. I really am. I’m so sorry for everything. I reacted poorly when I found out about…”
“Josie,” she murmurs.
“Yes. Josie.” I nod.
“I was so hurt. So angry. I said things I didn’t mean…”
“I can’t blame you for it,” she says. “What I did…What I kept from you…”
“I’m sure you had your reasons,” I say, trying to be understanding, even though I still have so many questions. I don’t want to push her too hard. I don’t want to push her away.
She tucks a piece of her dark hair behind her ear nervously. It feels so different from how it used to be. I miss her, and she’s right in front of me. Seeing her now, I want her back in my life. I want to tell her that, but I don’t. Instead, I ask her something else.
“Can I see her?” I ask, looking at her expectantly.
She looks taken aback as she looks up at me. “J-Josie?” she says warily.
“Yes. Only if you’re okay with it.”
She bites her lip and I try to ignore the urge to stare at her mouth, as I wait while she deliberates. Maybe I should have asked her on a date. I just felt like asking to see Josie was a safer bet. I want to get close to her again. Both of them.
“I don’t know,” she says, her brows furrowing. I can tell she’s torn.
“I understand.” Disappointment consumes me.
She waits a few moments before speaking again. “After work. Meet me at the daycare.”
I look at her in surprise. She’s letting me see Josie. This is a really big step. I try not to scare her off with my excitement, so I just give a single nod.
“Sure,” I say casually, even though my heart is beating fast.
She stands from her chair and leaves my office, closing the door behind her, but her perfume still lingers. Everything about her still lingers.
I can hardly believe she agreed to meet me at the daycare to properly introduce me to her daughter.
Our daughter. She doesn’t know I’ve already seen her, our eyes connecting like an unspoken bond that will never and can never be broken.
But this time around, I can talk to her.
I can maybe even hold her. I wonder what that sort of thing will do to me. My heart is already that little girl’s.
The next few hours move slowly, as I wait impatiently for five o’clock to roll around. I wish I had something to distract me, but my deal with Brock Wellington probably won’t close until a few more weeks. I haven’t received a contract to go over yet. He said it would be sometime next week.
While I wait, I decide to take a look at our new website since it got its facelift.
I want to see what our subscribers are seeing, along with the articles they’re reading.
The interface looks sharp, yet still remaining true to The NY Daily News logo and color scheme.
It’s a million times better than it was before with interactive links and easy to navigate tabs.
I peruse the articles, my eyes running over them quickly, until I fall on Erica’s latest piece.
I read that one with careful precision, as if I’m breathing in her words, which are so effortlessly put together to create a captivating piece.
I smile at her wit and the way she can make even politics interesting.
It’s no wonder she’s been here so long. She has something to say, and people want to read it.
Beauty and brains. How can I possibly resist her?
The idea of being together again is all I want, but I know it’s not that simple.
There’s another person I have to consider.
A part of Erica, a part of me, that comes with the deal.
It’s scary to think about, but only because I don’t want to screw anything up.
I know I’m jumping ahead of myself. I doubt Erica would even give me another chance after everything.
I know her agreeing to let me meet Josie is already pressing my luck, but I’m grateful for it.
At five, I log off my computer and slip on my jacket, heading out of my office and toward the elevator. I feel my heart beating in my throat on the elevator ride down, knowing I’m about to see Erica. And Josie.
As I walk down the hallway, I see Erica leaning against the wall, waiting for me. She hears my footsteps approach and looks over. She looks even more nervous than before, and I hope she hasn’t changed her mind.
“Are you ready for this?” she asks.
“Are you? ” I laugh softly.
That seems to ease her nerves a little because a smile tugs at her lips.
She nods for me to follow her. I watch as she greets the daycare workers and follow her into the room.
They eye me curiously, probably wondering what I’m doing back here.
Erica and I both take off our shoes and place them in two separate cubbies before entering the gated area.
“She’s over here,” says Erica.
I follow her to the same area I saw Josie just a few days ago. Erica opens the latch on the gate and holds it open for me to follow. There are three babies in there, all babbling and playing with toys. My eyes immediately go to Josie, who is playing with a crinkly baby book.
“Hey, baby girl,” says Erica, crouching down.
Josie gives her a gummy smile and holds her arms out.
My heart feels like it’s breaking and being put together at the same time.
The way she looks at Erica as if she’s the only thing on this planet makes me feel weepy.
One, because I know what a good mother Erica probably is.
Two, because I’ve missed out on that look.
Erica brings Josie to me and is shocked when Josie reaches out for me. She looks from Josie to me slowly, as if she’s seeing our immediate bond too.
“May I?” I ask, holding out my hands.
Erica hesitantly hands Josie to me, and I have no fears as I take her. I don’t know if I’ve ever even held a baby, or I’m doing it right, but it feels right. Josie smiles up at me and says some excited babble of nonsense. I chuckle and cradle her into the nook of my arm.
“She seems to like you,” says Erica. I can’t tell if she’s happy about it though.
“She’s beautiful,” I murmur.
I didn’t think I could fall any more in love with my daughter and then I held her. Now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go.