Chapter 20 Sagitta
Sagitta
I had a nightmare about my father.
Standing from a distance, I watched the car wreckage burn. Dark smoke choked the air and flames licked the black night sky.
I knew it wasn’t real. It was not a memory. I’d never visited the scene of the accident. But my vivid imagination wouldn’t let me forget it.
I had another nightmare about Cygnet berating me.
The intoxicated driver survived, but our father did not. Cygnet was convinced the other driver was possessed by a demon. In my dream, it was Faust.
When I told my brother that wasn’t true, he argued with all his might. He called me a failure of an exorcist. That the accident was my fault.
In my dream, I started to believe him.
It bled into a third nightmare, where Chase was no longer possessed by Faust and Cygnet’s attack sliced him open before I could stop it.
I roused, but a cry was trapped in my throat. I wanted to wake up, to be fully conscious and in possession of my own actions, but sleep and the lingering nightmares still had their claws in me. When I tried to gasp, it came out as a low moan.
“It’s okay.” It was Chase’s voice. Real. “You’re good. I’ve got you.”
His strong arms wrapped around me. They were real, too.
Chase’s warm breath touched my ear. “You’re okay.”
I shuddered, then relaxed. If he was here with me, speaking to me and touching me, then I was awake. I was in the real world. The nightmares were over, and I didn’t have to think about them anymore.
A long, shaky breath left me. I was immensely grateful to feel Chase’s broad back pressed against me, and to have his forearms draped across my chest.
“Are you okay?” Chase asked.
I swallowed past the dryness in my mouth. “Yes.”
I shuffled around to face him, then nestled into his neck. His soft warmth and familiar scent were comforting.
“Bad dream?” he asked.
I nodded.
He threaded his fingers through my hair. “Sorry. I hate those.”
I nodded again.
“What time is it?” I rasped when I could finally speak.
“Two PM.”
That nap went way overboard. I would’ve groaned if I had the energy, but I couldn’t muster it.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it. You were really tired,” Chase explained.
I smiled against his neck. He always knew when I was beating myself up.
A few quiet minutes passed. When I eventually felt alert, I looked Chase in the eyes.
“Are you still possessed?” I asked.
He made a face. “Yeah.”
I frowned. I couldn’t help but think of Cygnet scolding me in my dream. My doubts calcified into a sharp, hard pain in my chest.
It was no use pretending anymore that I could fix this.
I couldn’t get rid of Faust. I had completely failed as an exorcist.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked.
Chase’s blond brows bunched together. “For what?”
“I can’t do this.” He looked panicked for a second before I added, “Exorcise the demon.”
He blew out a breath. “Okay, ‘cause I thought you meant cuddling.”
“No. We can do that. I mean, I shouldn’t because you’re still technically my client. But if I’m failing at my job, I might as well screw it up all the way.”
“Sagitta,” Chase said, like I was being dramatic.
“It’s fine. I’m not spiralling.” It was mostly true. Maybe five percent untrue. Then I swallowed the last scrap of my pride and said the thing I’d dreaded saying for a long time. “I’m going to ask for help.”
“No.”
Chase’s flat-out refusal caught me by surprise.
“Pardon?” I said.
Chase looked straight into my eyes. He found my hand and squeezed it. “Asking for help is fine, but I know you can do this.”
An airy feeling fluttered in my chest. All I had done was underperform, yet Chase still believed in me?
“You’re giving me too much credit,” I mumbled.
His blue eyes gleamed with determination. “Bullshit. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. I saw how you handled that imp. You were a goddamn professional, even when I almost fucked it up by getting involved.” He leaned in, nose brushing mine. “You’re good at your job. Never doubt that, okay?”
My wavering confidence turned solid again. I felt like Chase picked me up off the floor, dusted me off, and set me back on my feet. I never realized how nice it felt to have somebody’s unconditional trust.
I blinked away the hot tears forming in my eyes. “Thank you.”
He smiled. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get the hell out of here and go back home. What do you think?”
The mention of home sent a gentle thrill through me.
I’d never had a fixed definition of home.
Even the temple, with all its luxuries and amenities, felt like a glorified dorm.
It was strange, and it made me feel a prick of guilt, but the time I’d spent in Chase’s apartment felt more like home than anything else I’d experienced in a long time.
“Yeah,” I rasped. “I’d like that.”
Nobody bothered us as we left the temple grounds. Cygnet was mercifully absent, and Hartford didn’t give enough of a shit to rat out our technically-not-allowed relationship.
I never thought I’d say it was a relief to step into a jock’s apartment, but it was.
The rest of the day passed in a lazy blur.
We ate leftover pizza and watched underwater exploration videos until nearly midnight.
Faust never came up. It all felt so normal that it looped back around to being surreal.
Especially with Chase’s arm draped across my shoulders. And my cheek resting on his broad chest. And his fingers threading tenderly through my hair.
And his legs splayed, with the button of his jeans mysteriously undone. My fingers may or may not have been involved.
“Hey,” Chase said. “Do you think I could do this?”
I assumed he meant whatever was happening on the TV screen, but I was barely paying attention. How could I when my hand was drifting towards the growing bulge between his thighs?
“Hm?” I asked without looking.
I heard him swallow. “This amateur underwater exploration thing. I mean, I can swim. I love fish. And we have a lot of—” He made a small sound when I slipped my palm across his tenting boxer briefs. “Natural. Water. Around here. Like, lakes and rivers. And stuff.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, still not fully hearing him.
He blew out a shaky breath. “All I’d need is a wet suit and diving equipment and... well, a really expensive camera.”
I stopped touching his dick and sat upright.
“You’re going to make underwater exploration videos? And post them online? As a career?” I asked.
He shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything better to do, since Faust got me fired... from a crappy job I hated.” When I stared at him with a raised eyebrow, he blushed and said, “Okay, how is that any weirder than being a professional exorcist?”
I snorted. “You’re right. It’s way weirder.”
“Now you’re gonna get it,” Chase growled.
He pounced on top of me and I let him do it, chuckling as he pinned my back to the couch. My heart fluttered as he glared down at me with burning blue eyes.
“All right, Mr. Exorcist,” Chase said. “Wanna tell me why underwater YouTube explorer isn’t a viable job option?”
He shoved his knee between my legs, nudging them apart. The spark of arousal that shot up my spine turned my mind blank for a few seconds. Then I huffed and clutched his knee hard with my calves to prove that I wasn’t rolling over just yet.
“Yeah, because Lake Ontario is so exciting,” I pointed out dryly. “What’s more exotic? The yellow perch or the smallmouth bass?”
Chase blew out a frustrated breath, but he looked amused, too. “Why is it hot that you know that?”
“Because you’re a weirdo,” I said fondly.
“Yeah, well, so are you, Mr. Outdoor Heated Pond with Tannins.”
His hands dove between my thighs, and I gasped as he shoved them apart. Sometimes I forgot his raw strength, but I wasn’t complaining. It was hot when he put those muscles to good use.
Chase’s fumbling hands worked my pants loose and shoved them down.
“Okay, forget the underwater exploration. What d’you think I should do, then?” he asked. “Get another crappy job at the mall?”
I couldn’t think about serious topics like jobs right now. Not while Chase’s palms skimmed the low parts of my belly. He was such a tease.
“No,” I grunted.
He lowered himself on top of my legs. His jawline grazed my cock, which strained in my underwear, and he smirked up at me. “How about I suck your dick professionally? Is that better?”
My cheeks flooded with heat so fast I got dizzy. “No. I mean. Sure.” I clenched my eyes shut. “Fuck. Stop asking stupid questions.”
He chuckled. It came out husky and thick with arousal. “You sure? I’d do it all day long if you paid me—”
I grabbed the back of his dumb blond head and shoved his face into my straining erection. Chase groaned, the sound muffled and raw. His lips mouthed my bulge through my underwear. That sensation alone felt incredible. I shuddered and forced myself not to buck my hips.
A nagging voice in the back of my head pointed out how inappropriate it was that I demand my client blow me. But right now, I truly didn’t give a shit. All I wanted was Chase’s big mouth wrapped around my cock.
He drew down my waistband, freeing me. I hissed softly as the cool air hit my throbbing skin.
Chase nuzzled my length with his cheek. His eyes were half-lidded and dazed with lust, an expression that drove me wild.
When he kissed up along the side of my shaft, I slapped a hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t squeal.
But as Chase peppered kisses along my cock, it was impossible to hold back a stifled moan.
“So?” he asked. “What d’you think?”
My head was spinning.
“About what?” I choked out.
Chase laughed, and I shivered as his breath ghosted across my sensitive skin. “Want me to start a new career in blowing you?”
I was way too horny for this conversation right now. “Will you shut up already?” I grumbled.
“I’m just saying. I’m pretty good at it.” He grinned. “And it’s more useful than my business degree.”
That statement hit me like a brick. “You have a business degree—”
My words spiked into a loud cry when Chase enveloped the head of my cock. The wet heat of his mouth was fucking amazing. I groaned and clutched his shirt so hard my knuckles went white.
Chase was telling the truth. He was good at this. But that sparked the knowledge that he’d done this before. He had practice. A curl of jealousy slithered in my ribs.
“I don’t...”
I trailed off, partly because it was shameful to say, and also because the pleasure was turning my brain to soup.
Chase paused. He lifted his face and I couldn’t help but notice the obscene trail of saliva between his lips and my cock.
“Huh?” he asked.
A lump formed in my throat. God, this was embarrassing.
“I don’t want you doing this to anybody else,” I blurted.
Chase’s face went blank before he broke into a big grin and laughed.
“What?” I growled.
“You’re cute.” His eyes sparkled like morning sunlight off water. “And just so you know, I don’t wanna do this with anyone else, either.”
My heart skipped a beat before it soared into the stratosphere. Did he really mean that?
Chase met my gaze. “Just you. Only you.”
I shivered. His eyes said he was telling the truth.
My mind veered in a hundred directions. There were questions I wanted to ask, things I wanted to say—but every thought vanished in a puff of smoke as Chase enveloped my cock again. All I could manage was a low, husky groan.
My fingers carded through Chase’s thick hair as he slowly bobbed his head. I bit my lip to stop any embarrassing noises from coming out, but it wasn’t long before Chase’s mouth wore down my pride. Within seconds, I was moaning and hissing and whimpering without shame.
If he only wants to do this with me, am I that important to him?
Warmth spread through my core, and it wasn’t just from the arousal. Thinking about Chase’s feelings confused and excited me. I’d only ever had crushes on people from a distance. I’d never even been in a relationship.
What was this thing between us? A deep crush? Friends with benefits? Some new label I wasn’t even aware of?
Or was this what love felt like?
My face burned hotter than a summer day.
I forced myself to stop thinking, which was easy with Chase skilfully sucking me off.
Soon all I cared about was the next hit of pleasure.
How Chase’s tongue swirled across the head of my cock, how his lips teased gentle motions down my shaft, and worst of all, how he gulped back my whole length with a soft, reverberating hum.
Everything he did cranked up my senses past their limits. I felt like I was about to explode.
“Chase,” I rasped, my fingers tightening in his hair. “I’m close.”
He pulled off just long enough to growl, “Come for me.”
I let out a strangled cry as pleasure ripped through my body. My back arched as I came, fingers gripping Chase’s hair, my cock buried to the hilt inside his mouth. Chase’s eyes were closed as he patiently rode out my orgasm.
When it was over, I collapsed against the couch with a gasp. It took me a solid minute to catch my breath. Chase sat up, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, then grinned at me.
“Good?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
Chase’s face lit up. He looked proud of himself as he shoved a hand down his pants and touched himself, still maintaining eye contact with me.
I already felt dazed and lightheaded, but that made my stomach swoop with a new wave of desire.
It was obscene. I felt like a voyeur watching Chase put on a show for me.
His eyes were glassy with lust as he pumped his cock, and his cute sounds made my spent dick twitch again.
Then I realized he was touching himself while looking at me. I was the object of his desire, the image he wanted to see as he masturbated.
My dick twitched harder.
Chase clenched his eyes shut as he finished. I watched the thick ropes spill over his fist. My mouth went dry. We’d barely finished and I already felt like I could go again.
Chase let out a big content sigh and draped himself on my chest. Our positions were usually reversed, so it felt sweet and novel to feel his cheek on my collarbone. I stroked his broad back absentmindedly.
This feels good. I think I want my life to be like this forever...
Fuzzy warmth tickled my chest. I had stopped caring if my wants were selfish or not. Whatever this was, I needed more of it—even if it cost me my career.