Chapter Twelve
Oh God.
I’m kissing Parker Covington.
Again.
I pull him closer, my grip tightening on the soft collar of his shirt. I’m worried that if I let go, I’ll lose all my strength, and I don’t want to lose this moment. I want to savor it.
Every kiss with Parker has been different, tasted different. This kiss is like the first bite of an apple in the fall; the tart skin gives way to a crisp and juicy sweetness.
I’m confused as all heck right now.
I don’t know left from right, but I do know this man in front of me. I know that I want to be kissing him, that deep within me there is a part of me that never forgot our first kiss and held onto it, waiting for this moment. I’m not sure what this means, and the logical side of my brain is screaming at me to stop, to pull back, to really think about what I’m doing right now.
But I’m so tired of thinking.
I rise up on my tiptoes, feeling my toes sink farther into the sand. Absently, I hear Parker’s shoes fall as his hand comes to rest on the small of my back, bringing my chest flush against his.
My kiss is hesitant as it explores every inch of his lips, memorizing every line. I let my grip loosen and snake my hands around his neck, slowly turning it into something heady and intoxicating. It’s the ocean crashing around us and the salt sticking to our skin. It’s the tide crawling closer and closer to our feet, tempting us to swim into the unknown.
Parker nips at my top lip, and I inhale as it sends a flurry of butterflies through my stomach. I could stay in this moment forever, making out with him like some love-struck teenager on their first date.
This might be the worst idea I’ve ever had.
It might be the best.
I could lose everything.
But he might be my everything.
I might not be ready to open the door to my heart, but I’ll crack the window open.
Honestly, I don’t know what any of this means. Where this is going to leave us tomorrow or next week or a year from now. There is a sliver of me that worries if I’m being selfish. If I’m ruining everything for just a moment of indulgence.
But, God, indulge I do.
Parker tastes like the sweetest dessert, and his touch slides against my skin like melting chocolate. He tilts my chin up, angling me in the way that he likes, as his tongue dances on my bottom lip sending a shock through me. I open up and let his tongue swoop in, our tastes merging as one. I lose myself to him, and my head turns dizzier with each passing second.
I inch closer to him, seeking more, taking everything he is giving me.
Our feet get stuck in the sand, and we fall to the ground, Parker letting out a playful curse while a giggle escapes my chest.
I feel free.
That weight that is always pressing on my shoulders, that anxiety that is constantly swirling in my stomach, that voice in my head that never quiets…it all slowly fades away with each forbidden kiss.
Since when does sinning feel like salvation?
I take advantage of my momentary lapse in judgment and swing on top of Parker, angling my legs on either side. The sand digs into my knees, and my skirt rides so high up my thighs that I wouldn’t be shocked if my ass was on display. But for once, I don’t care.
No regrets.
Parker’s sea blue eyes widen as I hover above him.
Damn, he’s a pretty thing.
Who was I kidding, telling myself I was immune to his good looks?
I’m the biggest liar of them all.
He gives me a devilish smirk as his eyes darken like the ocean behind us. It’s all the warning I get before he pulls me into a bruising kiss. My chest presses against his, and I feel his body rise and fall. Our breaths become a tangled mess of heavy sighs and desperate moans.
His tongue darts out and traces a path up my neck, and there is no stopping the unfiltered groan of desire from tumbling out of me as pleasure shoots through my core.
He grabs the shoulders of my jacket, peeling the fabric off my body and tossing it next to us. I shiver momentarily as the sea breeze rolls over my body before his hot hand loops under my blouse and around my waist, burning into my bare skin. His simple touch causes my blood to heat, and a wave of molten desire begins flowing through my body.
I want more of it.
I want his hands everywhere.
His touch moves lower, toying with the waist of my skirt until he runs his hand over my ass, cupping it strongly.
“God, I love your ass,” he mutters against my lips before giving my cheek a squeeze. My stomach swoops at the action, and my center heats with a telltale wetness.
His hand snakes lower, settling itself in that fold between my thigh and pussy, his fingertips dangerously close. I battle against the desire swirling within me and the small sliver of sanity I still possess. I reach down and push his hand away. He pulls back, his hand resting on my hip, but he gives me a puppy dog pout.
“Nope, not happening,” I chastise, placing a kiss to his neck before diving back to his soft lips.
There was no way I was getting caught having sex on the beach or anything adjacent. That gave me more anxiety than pleasure. I wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. I was barely wrapping my head around whatever this was with Parker. Any more would short-circuit my system.
Plus, I’d gotten enough of an eyeful of Parker’s dick a few weeks back to know I was not ready for that.
I fight my way through the haze of lust clogging every inch of my lungs.
I give him one last long kiss, dragging his top lip into my mouth with a bite before rolling off him onto the hard sand. Parker reaches out and grabs my hand, bringing it to his mouth and placing a soft kiss on the knuckles before holding it to his chest. Warmth spreads throughout my body, matching the pink horizon bleeding across the sky.
None of this feels real.
“What are you thinking about?”
“You,” I answer honestly.
“Mmm,” he hums. “I think about myself often, too.”
“Seriously.” I lift our joined hands and let them fall back against his chest in a soft push. He lets out a laugh, and I feel his chest rumble as a smile spreads across my own face.
Parker is infectious. Even in the darkest hours, he never fails to bring light. He could give the sun a run for its money.
“Do you promise you’re not going to go back to avoiding me?”
I turn my head, silently lamenting the sand getting stuck in my hair as I face him.
His face is lit up with the golden sunset, casting a glow on his pale skin and making his cheekbones stand out more than normal. I trace the gentle slope of his nose before stopping on his eyes that are watching the clouds above us.
“I promise.”
The corners of his lips twitch up in a smile.
“But…” I say slowly, and his eyes slide to me with the slightest tilt of his head. “Whatever this is, it stays between us.”
“I figured.” I see a gust of sadness swoop through his gaze before it disappears. “I’m good at keeping secrets.” He gives me a playful smile even though I know it masks something deeper.
I feel so selfish because I hate asking him to keep such a large secret when he just got free of his last one. But I need to take the time to figure out what this is before I commit to anything. This isn’t something I can be rash about, and Parker deserves more than a false promise.
At the end of the day, I am still his publicist. I’m still Aleks and Jackson’s publicist. I have to think of The System first, and they do not need another scandal right now.
Until I know where my heart sits, we need to tread carefully.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He sits up and leans over to place a kiss on my nose. “Come on, I’ll drive us home.”
He gives my arm a squeeze, and my chest aches when he lets go, already missing his touch.
I need to get myself together; everything is burning too fast.
Parker curses and I push myself up onto my elbows, gritting my jaw against the little specks of sand digging into me. The tide has risen, and all our stuff is slightly drenched.
I groan as he lifts my damp jacket off the sand. This was one of the nicer sets that I’d splurged on.
The logical part of my brain, the part that is slowly coming back to me, realizes that the matching skirt is also covered in sand under my butt and probably not in much of a better state.
I force myself to stand up and dust said sand off myself before taking the jacket from him.
Parker reaches down and plucks our shoes from the shoreline. They’re both in a sorry state. Although, I know for a fact that mine, at the very least, don’t cost as much as his.
I see Parker’s jaw tick as he surveys his shoes. My heels don’t look great, but they might be salvageable.
Or not.
The white leather is dark beige around the heel.
Parker sighs and tosses me an impish grin. “I needed an excuse to buy new shoes.”
“I didn’t think you needed an excuse for that.”
He links his arm in mine and swings me into step with him as we trudge back up the sand to the parking lot. My bare feet prick slightly against the asphalt as we make our way to the car, and Parker stops short with another curse.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just…stay there a second.” He unlinks our arms as he lifts the door and reaches behind the driver’s seat for something. He pulls out a sweater and walks over to me.
I stare at him in confusion as he bends down and uses it to dry my legs and dust off the sand.
A small snort escapes my lips, and he glares up at me.
“It’s not funny, Syd. The car’s brand new.”
“I’m not laughing,” I say through soured lips, stopping another smile from slipping through.
“Turn around.”
I do as he asks, letting my grin loose once I’m facing away from him. He begins beating the sweater against my ass, and I let out a yelp, glaring down at him this time.
“Maybe I should just call a rideshare. Pick the car up tomorrow,” he ponders.
“Parker, you can’t be serious.”
“The sand, Syd.”
A beeping noise begins filtering out from the car, and I step out from Parker’s obsessive cleaning to open my side of the car and pull my phone from my abandoned purse. My eyes widen when I see the time and the reminder blinking up at me.
“Parker, we need to head back, like now,” I call out.
Parker comes around and rests his chin on the crook of my shoulder, staring down at my screen. The connection sends a jolt right to my heart.
“It’s only five,” he comments. “Plenty of time to get back before the stream.” He pulls back, putting his hands on my shoulders and guiding me into the passenger seat. He takes the sweater and brushes the remaining sand from my feet.
“Not if we get stuck in traffic,” I get out between breaths at the ticklish sensation.
“Nah, we’ll be fine. Don’t sweat it, love.” He takes my heels and jacket from my arms before closing the door and dropping them into the compartment in the hood.
An hour and a half later, we finally pull into the private garage, and I give Parker an “I told you so” as I hop out of the car.
We got stuck in a nasty chunk of traffic, and now he only has thirty minutes until the stream. Plus, he never got around to filming his content for his channel, which I am now going to have to hound him on for tomorrow.
Parker gets out of the car and dusts off his seat with his sweater.
“Next time we go to the beach, I’m taking one of the bikes instead,” he mutters.
“Good luck getting me on one of those death traps.” I fiddle around with the hood before popping it and grabbing my stuff.
“Stevie loves being Aleks’ backpack.” Parker shuts his door and comes around, grabbing his shoes from around me before clicking the hood closed.
“That’s because Stevie is just as ridiculous as Aleks. She merely hides it better.”
My feet are cold on the concrete as we walk to the elevator, and Parker slings his arm around my shoulders. The practiced movement feels different now.
“I’ll convince you.” He hits the elevator button with his knuckle while popping a kiss on the top of my head.
“In your dreams.”
There is no way in hell I would be getting on the back of one of those things. He is lucky enough that I even get in the car with him half the time. I chalk it up to the fact that some part of me trusts him more than I can admit. That he feels safe, even when he is driving a million miles an hour.
An engine rumbles, and I jump out of Parker’s hold to see Jackson’s Jeep curving around the corner.
I frown as he pulls into his spot, wondering where he could have been. I don’t keep track of the guys like an FBI agent, but I do know their general schedules and whereabouts pretty damn well. I’m mostly surprised because Jackson doesn’t normally cut it this close to his scheduled stream times. Out of the three guys, he is always the most punctual.
Parker puffs his cheeks in a pout, and I counter with a raised brow.
“No touchy-touchy,” I remind him.
“Oh, come on, Syd. I always do that.”
I know he’s right. It’s the entire reason why Justin was able to pull up over twenty photos of Parker and me between the airport and the hotel, practically attached at the hip. But still, this is Jackson, and I don’t trust my poker face to fool him. Not yet. Not when the taste of Parker is still fresh on my tongue.
The elevator door opens just as Jackson steps down from the Jeep. He flings the door closed and shoves his hands in the pockets of his jean jacket as he strolls up to us. He looks up and nods his head, throwing out a deep, “Hey.”
I return it with a smile as I step into the elevator, pressing my back against the cool metal.
Parker uses his hand to keep the elevator doors open for Jackson, but I watch as he kicks out his foot at the last minute, tripping Jackson up as he enters. Jackson stumbles for a second before righting himself and throwing a punch to Parker’s shoulder.
“Oww.” He rubs his shoulder. “Did you have to hit me that hard?”
“Dunno, was hoping maybe it would knock those five brain cells you possess back into place.” Jackson leans against the corner of the elevator, crossing his feet over one another lazily.
“Ass.”
Parker punches the button for the penthouse before hitting the button for my floor. While this elevator can access all floors, it can only be called from the garage or the penthouse. I have to use a fob in the regular elevators to access the penthouse when I go up from my place.
“Where the hell have you guys been?” Jackson asks, giving a pointed look at our bare feet.
My eyes dart to Parker, and I finally take in the way his typically styled platinum hair is disheveled from all the sand. His short-sleeved shirt is rumpled within an inch of its life, and his pants are still rolled halfway up his defined calves. Despite his best efforts, sand still coats both of our skin.
He looks like a rough and tumbled sea god.
I don’t even bother looking down at myself. I don’t want to draw more attention than necessary.
“Parker forced us to take a beach detour after our media meeting.” I keep it simple. The less information, the better. Parker going rogue is pretty on brand.
“I gathered.” Jackson rolls his dark eyes. “How’d you end up covered in sand? You both look like you ate shit.”
“I bet Syd that if I could run across the sand faster than her, I could go out clubbing next week.”
I fight to keep my jaw from popping open.
That was an awful lie.
There is no way he will believe that.
Jackson blinks at us before letting out a bark. “You come up with the weirdest bets, dude.”
Then again, most things Parker does are unbelievable.
My chest lightens with relief.
The elevator dings as we reach my floor, and I keep my composure as I exit.
“Have fun with your streams tonight, boys.” I turn around and use my heels to point at Parker. “Don’t stress your wrist too much before the tournament.”
The elevator doors close on Parker rolling his eyes, but I catch the wink he gives me before they finally shut.
I hold my breath as I pad across the carpeted hallway to my apartment door, keying in the code and letting myself in. I make it all the way to my ensuite before I let out a sigh, my heels, handbag, and jacket dropping to the tiles. A glance in the mirror confirms my assumptions.
I look like a mess.
God, I’m lucky Jackson didn’t question us further.
There are bits of sand stuck in the plaid fabric of my skirt, and my blouse hangs loosely around my hips, the bottom wrinkly from where Parker tugged it free. My hair looks like it went to war, and I sigh, knowing that I’m going to need to douse it with detangler before getting in the shower.
I lean a hip against my sink as my hand comes up to touch my lips.
They’re red and puffy. One might just chalk it up to the cherry-tinted gloss I wear, but I smile in the secret confines of my apartment at the knowledge of the boy who made them this way.