Chapter Thirteen
My eyes flit over my laptop, cataloging the schedule the guys have set for the week.
Most people would think that working as a streamer would be an easy gig, but there’s a lot that goes into it. Each guy doesn’t just stream.
Parker’s schedule is the most hectic right now because of the upcoming championship and the fact that he has Covington obligations outside of his stream schedule.
My core zings at the thought of Parker.
His shiny blue eyes and boyish smile.
A smile with plush, kissable lips.
Lips that I can’t stop thinking about.
A knock sounds at my door, and I hop off the stool at my kitchen counter. My slippers slap softly on the tiles as I make way to the door and stand on my toes to peer through the peephole. One of the doormen stands outside.
I undo the deadbolt and give him a bright smile.
“Hi, Jericho.”
“Hi, Miss Sydney.” He holds out two small parcels. “Delivery came for you; one of them is perishable.”
Odd. I haven’t placed any recent orders.
“Thanks.”
“Of course, have a good day.”
“You, too.”
I take them, and he gives me a nod before turning on his wingtips. I knock the door shut with a pop of my hip before dumping them on the marble counter.
Curiosity bubbles under my skin as I break the smaller of the two packages open. The brown packaging reveals a Styrofoam box, and I smile, realizing what perishable item it must be.
I pop the lid off the box and squeal at the goods within. An assortment of handmade soaps, lotions, and candles greets me. I bypass them, my fingers closing on the handwritten note scrawled on a piece of torn graph paper. Dad’s kind words stare back at me, and warmth floods my veins.
Hey, Bug.
Mrs. Feeney got ahead this season and made her first batch early. Thought it would be a nice surprise to send them over.
Don’t work too hard.
Miss you and love you,
Dad
I pull my phone out and dial his number, putting it on speaker as I rifle through the treasures before me.
Mrs. Feeney lives at the end of our cul-de-sac, and she is known around town for the amazing goods she makes. Candles, soaps, lotions, you name it. She has a set line that she makes year-round, but every season she brings out specialties. With fall upon us, it means it is time for her annual pumpkin spice and caramel apple scents.
I crack open one of the candles and melt at the sweet pumpkin scent mixing with spicy cinnamon. I move onto one of the body scrubs and twist off the top to whiff at the sugary caramel smell. The woman is a flavor witch.
I hurriedly unpack everything, smiling at the memories of my hometown.
Mrs. Feeney is also the main culprit behind my cherry flavor love. Her brother owns the largest farm in town, and growing up, she would also pop over to our house with food she made from the extra produce.
Knowing my father was a single dad and not the best chef (despite his efforts), she treated my brother and me like long-lost grandchildren. The farm grew the sweetest cherries known to man, and Mrs. Feeney’s cherry pie was heaven wrapped in buttery pastry. While the cherry overload made me obsessed, it made my brother totally hate them.
My chest tightens at the broken memories, but I let them wash away as my dad finally answers on what feels like the millionth ring.
“Hey, Bug.”
“Hey, Dad.”
“The package arrived safely, I’m guessing?”
I laugh. “It did.”
“A nice surprise, I hope?”
“It is. The only kind of surprises I like are the ones from Mrs. Feeney.”
“I know.”
I can hear the eye roll my father is no doubt giving.
I carry the lotions, scrubs, and soaps to my bathroom, hanging my phone around my wrist so I can continue chatting with him.
“How are you?”
“Doing well. Went to the old brewery last night with the rest of town to celebrate Maisy Mae’s engagement, and I’m off on a fishing trip next weekend with Darrell and Ray.”
“Mmm,” I hum, stacking the scrubs perfectly on top of one another. “Maisy Mae’s marrying Tyrell, right?”
“Sure is. High school sweethearts are a dear thing. You know, Vince is still single.”
I snort at the name of my high school boyfriend. “I’m sure that’s of his own volition, Dad. Plus, I’m not interested.”
I have no doubt in my mind that Vince Thompson will marry someone when he is ready. The girls flock to him like bees to honey. I seem to have a tendency to fall for popular men.
“Does any boy have your interest these days?”
Glass-blue eyes and a lopsided smile flash in my vision. My stomach flips.
I force the image of a certain British man out of my head as I shove a lotion under the sink with more force than necessary.
“I’m a little too busy to date,” I dismiss.
“You work too hard,” my dad grumbles.
I laugh as I stack the last of the soaps under my sink and then stand up, padding back to the kitchen.
“You know you can come out here anytime, Bug. Take a little break and use some of that PTO.”
“I know, but it’s hard right now. The guys have crazy schedules.” I grab a magnet from one of the drawers and stick his note to my fridge. It sits there amongst the hundred other notes he’s sent me over the years. “You’ll see me in like two months. I’ll be back for Thanksgiving.”
It is the one holiday that is nonnegotiable when it comes to my work with The System. The boys know that, no matter what, I have to go home for it. Still, I do wish I could go home more often.
There are just too many things that could go wrong at a moment’s notice with the guys. It gives me more anxiety being far from them.
“I know, Bug. Just make sure you are looking after yourself, okay? All work, no play isn’t healthy.”
“My life isn’t all work.”
Even I can taste the lie.
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
“Dad,” I say in a warning tone.
“Don’t mean to pester you. I just care and want you to have a little fun in life. Go on trips with your friends. Meet a nice boy. Live life outside your schedule. You know that’s all Carson wanted for you, too.”
The air in my chest solidifies and drops like stones at the name.
I quickly scoop them out of my stomach and dump them on the ground. I don’t want the pain to weigh me down.
I’ve learned to break through the pull of the memories after years of therapy and am finally at a stage where I am living my life again—even if it isn’t to the fullest, it is still more than the shell I had once been.
But that name is still a trigger.
“Sorry, Bug.”
“It’s fine, Dad.” I collect myself with a deep breath and let the light back into my body. “I’ll have you know I went to the beach the other day.”
“Oh, really? I’m happy to hear. Who with?”
“Parker.”
The second his name leaves my lips I regret it.
“Oh?” My dad says it in that curious way that makes me cringe inside.
“Yeah, we were driving home from a thing, and he made us pull over.” I try to keep my tone light so he won’t read into it. I am an extremely perceptive person, and I got that way because of my dad. He can read me like a book. “You know Parker, always playing.”
“Yes, I do know. Interesting of you to indulge him.”
I grit my teeth as I search for a box cutter to open my second package.
“I wouldn’t call it an indulgence.”
“It’s not a bad thing, Bug. You need to loosen up more, have fun, and he seems like a good egg.”
“Good egg. Bad egg. He’s still my employer.” I huff as I give up and just grab a pair of scissors to slice the tape with. “And I don’t need to loosen up.”
My dad sighs. “You hold your reins tighter than a rider getting on a horse for the first time.”
I purse my lips as I run the scissors down the tape. I adore my dad, but he laments my work ethic and has been harping on it for years now.
I open the cardboard package and blink down at the red box inside. The very box that has the word Valentino printed in shiny red foil.
I lift the cardboard package to read the name on the label again.
Yup. It’s definitely addressed to me.
I take the Valentino box out and then flip the package to see if there is a note or anything, but it’s empty.
Slowly, and using both hands, I lift the red lid.
My breath hitches at the sight of the beautiful white patent leather heels within. The gold Valentino logo glistens on the ankle strap as I pick one of them up and hold it in the light.
They’re stunning.
They put my current white heels to shame. Which would be expected given the price difference here. Plus, my current pair were still ruined from the beach. I hadn’t been able to fix the water damage and was probably going to need to toss them.
Wait.
My heart pounds as I entertain a lofty thought. The corners of my lips tug up in a smile as my chest flutters.
“Bug, you still there?” My dad’s voice grounds me.
“Yeah, sorry.” I carefully return the pointed heel to the box. “I have to go, Dad. But I’ll chat with you later.”
“All right.” I hear the hesitancy in his voice, but he drops it. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Send me pictures of your fishing trip.”
“Will do.”
I hang up and continue to stare at the shiny shoes in front of me.
My mind whirls up the memories from the beach. The warm afternoon sun on my skin. The salt on my tongue. The sand beneath my knees. The stolen kisses on my lips.
The excitement has me feeling like a giddy schoolgirl, and I scold myself.
These shoes are too much.
It’s not like anything serious is going on between us. It is just…
I don’t know what it is.
Fun?
Fun.
Everyone seems to think I need more fun in my life.
What is Parker Covington if not fun?
Something thick and dark swirls in my stomach at my light dismissal of our connection. But I need to keep it light. If I don’t keep some distance between us, it will put me in danger of letting him in. I can’t afford that.
I can’t afford the pain of loving someone like Parker, someone who brings sunshine into my life. Because when you lose that sunshine, the world becomes so dark. And crawling out of that darkness is dangerous and difficult.
I’m not sure if I can do that again.
I shut the lid on the shoes and tuck them under my arm as I grab my phone and leave my apartment to ride the elevator up to the penthouse.
Silence greets me as I trek into the boys’ space, which is expected because they are all gaming right now. When I make it to Parker’s streaming room, I open the door slowly so I don’t spook him.
Except the room is empty.
I frown into the blue abyss.
I shut the door before weaving my way back to the entrance and to Aleks’ streaming room.
When I come face-to-face with another empty cavern of red, dread begins to coil in my gut.
I spin around and open Jackson’s streaming room on the opposite side of the hall.
A small slither of relief hits me when I spot the titan leaning back in his gaming chair, black hair tied in a bun at the nape of his neck, skin shining in the green glow of his room.
He chatters away into his mic, and I walk in to see two familiar girls gracing one of his monitors. Jackson, Deer, and Lee are playing the latest co-op scavenger horror game that people are obsessed with. It’s done wonders for his views, and Mathias is peeved that Parker won’t cave and play with the rest of them.
Deer spots me in the background of Jackson’s camera and begins waving frantically. He flicks his gaze to me briefly and reaches up to maneuver his headset off one of his ears.
“What’s up, Syd.”
“I’m trying to track down Thing One and Thing Two.”
“Ah, they went for a ride.”
I frown. “That wasn’t on the schedule.”
Jackson snorts. “Like that would stop them.”
Fair.
“There’s a bunch of loot out front, Deer.” Jackson turns his attention back to the game. “We just need to find an exit.”
I stand and watch them for a few minutes, drawn in by the creepiness. Jackson’s character is running around on screen in some sort of derelict basement with a bunch of bursting pipes. The screen is dark, so I can barely make much out.
It’s part of my job to always stay up-to-date on whatever new games are coming out and work with the companies on getting early release versions or beta versions for them to play to help increase hype.
The horror game Jackson is obsessed with passed under the radar for a little while before randomly gaining virality. I’ve been doing some digging, and I’m hoping to land him a collab with the developers for a special skin in one of the upcoming updates.
A terrifying, bloody creature suddenly appears on screen, and I stifle a gasp.
“What’s that?” I lean forward to get a better look.
“A Wailing Angel.” His voice is a hushed whisper. “If I stop looking at it, it’ll kill me.”
“Oh. That’s not good.”
“Nope.”
I can see Lee and Deer talking on the monitor, but I can’t hear them. A part of me is a little jealous. There are times when I want to play with them, but I’m really not all that good, and the last thing I want to do is embarrass myself.
Plus, I worry that if I start, it’ll blur those final strings of professionalism I’m trying to keep tethered.
I pad into the kitchen and grab a can of electrolyte-infused seltzer and bring it back to Jackson’s streaming room, placing it on the desk next to him.
He gives me a brief nod.
“Thanks, Syd.” He uses one hand to open it, his middle finger flicking the tab open.
“I’ll catch you later.”
I give the girls a wave in the camera before clicking Jackson’s door closed behind me.
I contemplate just heading back to my place but decide to take advantage of the empty living room and killer surround sound system to watch an episode of my favorite reality show. If they aren’t back when it ends, I will leave.
Except, forty-five minutes pass and there’s still no sign of them.
I check my phone and sigh. I know they’ll have to be back in a few hours for their stream, at least, but I won’t waste my time waiting around. I have emails to write and calls to make.
That damn red Valentino box burns a hole in my peripheral vision.
I lift the lid again, sighing at the beauties within.
Why?
I shut the lid and tuck the box back under my arm as I shuffle my way to the elevator. It takes a while, but finally the doors begin to slide open. I step forward only to almost crash into a leather-clad chest.
I stifle a gasp as I stumble backward.
Aleks’ tattooed hand steadies my shoulder. “Whoa. Hey, Syd.”
My eyes dart from him to the man by his side. Parker runs a hand through his platinum hair. He grins when he spots me, eyes lighting up. My stomach swoops.
“Darling Sydney, to what do we owe the pleasure?”
I swallow, regaining my composure as they stack their helmets in the hall closet. I can’t exactly ask Parker about the shoes while Aleks is in the room. It would raise too many questions.
So, I just go with my standard excuse these days.
“I just had some things to go over with you before the tournament this weekend.”
Parker’s eyes flick to mine before they dip to the red box under my arm. A smug smile tugs at his lips, and I fight to keep a straight face.
“Sure.” He angles his head toward the kitchen. “Let me just grab a drink.”
“Toss me one while you’re at it,” Aleks adds, shucking off his leather jacket and tossing it on the couch.
Great, doesn’t seem like he is going anywhere soon.
This is a dumb idea.
“You know what? It’s fine, we can go over it tomorrow.” I spin on my feet, but Parker grabs my arm.
“Hey, pause. Just head to my streaming room, I’ll be there in a sec.”
I want to argue, but my traitorous mind is too distracted by the feeling of his hand on me. I purse my lips, nodding, before strolling past him.
I slip into his room and start to feel a little more at ease in the blue glow.
I pad over to his set up, resting the box on the corner of the long black desk. My hand reaches out to trace the blue LED mask on display.
God, how quickly things have begun to change.
“Did you like my gift?” Parker takes a loud sip of his energy drink as he kicks the door shut behind him.
I’d been right.
“You didn’t need to do this.” I hold a hand out to the box.
“Well, the shoes go with the outfit, so.” Parker shrugs, flopping into his gaming chair, rolling backward.
“Outfit?”
“Oh, it hasn’t arrived yet?” He pulls his phone from his pocket and begins scrolling. “Ah, nine p.m. delivery. How disappointingly slow.”
I pluck the phone from his hands and stare down at the order on his phone. It’s a matching black and white plaid skirt and blazer set—not too dissimilar to the one I had on the other day, but the price tag is triple what I’d spent.
“Seriously?”
Parker places his can on the desk before standing up and reclaiming his phone. He scrolls a little more before flashing the screen at me with a grin. “It comes in blue, too. But that one’s on back order, so it won’t arrive till next month. Thought you’d look hot in my color.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I’m cut off as his lips press against mine.
It stuns me as he pulls away.
“Do you always complain when people do nice things for you, love?”
“I wasn’t complaining. It’s just…it’s not like I bought you a pair of shoes to replace the ones the ocean damaged,” I whisper weakly.
“Oh, those. I already bought a better pair.”
“Of course, you did,” I laugh.
“There she is.”
He gives me a bright smile, and I cave. My walls are crumbling around him more and more as each day passes. It takes an insurmountable amount of effort to keep them somewhat in place, and I am getting tired of fighting.
“The shoes are beautiful, thank you.”
“Maybe you try them on for me, sans vêtements.” He winks.
“You’re hilarious.” I roll my eyes, picking up the box.
“Hey, hang on. You’re just going to leave?” He places his hand over mine.
Warmth rushes through me, but I try to steel myself.
“I still have work to do.”
He takes the box from my hand and places it back on the desk.
“I know your boss; I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you took a little break.”
He snakes his arms around my waist. I swallow against the growing heat in my stomach.
This is such a bad idea.
Any of the guys could walk in.
And I still don’t know where any of this is heading.
“One minute.”
“What?” I blink.
“Just give me one minute.”
My lips twitch up in a smile at the mirror of his words to the other night.
“Okay.”
The word barely leaves me before he descends. His lips capture mine in a fevered plea. One of his hands comes up to cup the back of my head, and he pulls me into him.
He tastes slightly sweet from the energy drink.
I moan against him, my hands curling around his collarbone to remove any distance between us.
“Yo, dude. Did you steal my GameCube controller?”
Parker’s door flings open, light streaming in.
I shove Parker from me, and he goes tumbling back, landing conveniently in his gaming chair. The momentum has him rolling halfway across the room. I snatch the red box and clutch it to my heaving chest as I spin around to face Aleks.
I pray the blue hue of the room hides the redness in my cheeks.
“All right, well. I’ll see you boys on Friday for the flight. Don’t overpack. Bye.”
My body moves like a robot as I push past Aleks and make a beeline for the elevator.
“Ow, the fuck? You didn’t have to throw it at me,” Aleks’ yell filters through the apartment just as the doors open.
I slip inside and hit the button for my floor a billion times, hoping it will make the doors close faster.
It’s only when they shut completely that I let my grip loosen on the box. My head tips back against the metal wall.
This boy is going to be the death of me.