Chapter Twenty
Duncan
She'd shared her location with me on the phone. Jeremy and I stood next to each other, looking at everyone who came in. Now that it was late afternoon, the crowd had thinned.
I sucked in a breath when Riley arrived. She had on a thin blue dress, something she would probably wear at the beach. I imagined her relaxing in her bed with a book. How easy it would be to slide that dress off.
I sucked in a breath and pulled myself together as Jeremy and I walked over to her.
"Surprise!" Jeremy said. He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist.
She returned his hug without hesitation. The sight did something to me, though I wasn't ready to admit what it was.
"Hey, we bought you ice cream and popcorn." I handed her both.
She looked at the bowl, then asked, "It's the salty kind? Oh my God. You really remember my favorites, huh?"
All right, I had to give Jeremy more credit. The guy had a good memory.
"Yes." He looked up at her and then said, very unhelpfully, "Dad didn't believe me. He asked like five times."
Riley giggled. "I know it's a bit weird, but it actually works with the salted caramel ice cream. You're welcome to try."
"I'm good," I said. "Thank you for coming, Riley."
"Of course. I'm happy you guys called."
"Dad was afraid we might overstep the boundaries," Jeremy cut in.
Riley and I exchanged a glance. Yeah, we'd set whatever boundaries we’d had on fire already. But that had been different—just between her and me. We hadn't discussed how we were going to behave around Jeremy. I'd been too consumed by her to think about anything else.
"Can we go see the zebra?" he asked.
"Let Riley enjoy her food."
She had a system. After taking the popcorn from me, she held it with her forearm to her belly so she could still hold the ice cream in the same hand and eat it with the other one.
She took one spoonful of ice cream, and the next mouthful was one of popcorn.
Weirdest combination I'd ever seen, but she was so damn happy.
We walked straight to the zebra’s enclosure as Riley ate her snacks.
She even knew a shortcut, so we were there in less than ten minutes.
The crowd had dispersed here, too, reminding me that the zoo was much better at this time of the day.
The only downside was that the animals tended to be less active later in the day.
The zebra and its foal were currently lying down. The baby had its head on its mother's belly.
"Oh my God. It's so cute. Can you take a picture of me and them?" she asked, expertly taking out her phone from her bag and handing it to me.
"Sure," I said. "Jeremy, do you want to be in the picture?"
"Yes, please." He was thrilled at being included.
He didn't pose next to her but rather wrapped his arms around her waist from the side, pressing his head against her rib cage.
"Smile," I said, positioning the phone so I caught both zebras and Riley and Jeremy.
"Come on, let's give your dad a toothy grin," Riley said.
They both grinned at me, then started making silly faces.
I snapped a few pictures.
"Let's look and see which ones we want to keep," Riley said. “I bet it’s the third one. We always seem to get the hang of things by then.”
I couldn't believe they had their little habits. When had that happened? Riley hadn't been with us for that long, and yet she was already so important to both of us.
She crouched so I could hold her phone at Jeremy's level. Once they could both see it, I scrolled to the right.
"I want this one," Jeremy said, pointing to the second one I'd snapped where they were both flashing their teeth.
"Okay. Then that's the one I'll keep too," Riley said.
As she rose to her feet, I handed her the phone back. I touched her fingers, squeezing them. Her eyes widened. The next second, the popcorn tumbled all over the ground.
"Oh my goodness," she said, jumping back.
"Don't worry, we’ll clean it up. Nothing happened," Jeremy said.
That was exactly what I told him every time he had an accident, ever since he was a little kid. I'd always made it my mission not to yell at him or make him feel bad when accidents happened. They were just that, accidents. There was no reason to lose my shit over it.
"Um, I-I'm sorry. I didn't…" Riley started licking her lips. She was blushing. Because I'd touched her hand? Damn, it made me feel good about myself.
"I-I'll clean up," she said.
"No. You enjoy your ice cream and snap all the pictures you want of the baby zebra. I’ll pick it up and buy you a new popcorn."
She shook her head. "You don't have to do that."
I winked. "Come on, your zoo experience wouldn't be complete."
They stayed in front of the zebras as I cleaned up the popcorn and headed to the cart.
I could hear Riley sharing trivia about zebras with my son.
I wondered if this was what Jeremy meant by doing mom stuff.
I was determined to give him a good childhood, but was I failing him somehow? How could I be better?
When I returned with a fresh batch, I noticed that Jeremy was quickly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. I knew the signs.
"Riley, here's your popcorn," I said.
“Thanks.”
She took it from my hands as I looked straight at my son. "Jeremy, do you need to go to the men's room?"
He nodded. "Yes, I really do."
"I didn't notice," Riley said.
"Want me to go with you?" I asked him.
"No, Dad," he said indignantly, standing up as straight as he could. As if he wanted to make himself taller. "I'm a big boy. I know how to go."
"All right," I said, pointing to the restroom that was right next to the zebras’ enclosure. "The men's restroom is actually right around the corner. I can go wait with you."
"No, Dad. What will everyone say? Can you and Riley wait here ?"
"Sure," I said. I wasn't sure why I was even offering. He'd been insisting on going to the restroom by himself since he was five years old, and I always waited by the door. He ran straight toward it, which meant he needed to go badly.
Afterward, I turned to Riley, who was looking down at the popcorn. I couldn't keep myself in check a moment longer. I brought a hand to the side of her face, caressing her jaw and making her glance up.
"Riley?" I asked. "Why are you avoiding looking at me?"
"I'm not sure how to do this. I figured we’d talk and sort things out before I came to work tomorrow, or… I don't know…"
I nodded and then stopped touching her. "I don't have a plan," I admitted, which was insane. I was the man with a plan. It was my thing. It was what I was good at. And yet right now, all I knew was that I needed to touch her more than I’d needed anything in my life. And I also wanted to give Jeremy the best childhood possible and not confuse him. I couldn’t see how those two things could happen at the same time.
She touched my wrist and then my forearm, moving slowly to my elbow.
"Are you fondling me?" I asked, stunned.
"I don't think it counts as fondling if it's not the ass or, you know, a sexy part."
"It so fucking does," I said, then stepped even closer, bringing my mouth to her ear. "Because it turns me on."
"What? Touching your arm?"
"No, you. Whatever you do. Eating, breathing, smiling. Especially that fucking smile. It slays me."
“Duncan…”
I brought my lips to the corner of her mouth, only intending to breathe in the scent of her skin. It was delicious. My damn pillow was starting to smell like that, and I was seriously considering not washing my bedsheets again so they would keep her scent.
I moved my mouth farther to the right. Her breath was shaky.
Her lips were soft and warm and so damn inviting, and I captured them without a second thought.
I hadn't realized how much I needed to kiss her until I'd tangled our tongues.
I reached one hand around the back of her head, running my fingers through her hair. This kiss was exactly what I needed.
A loud noise startled us. She’d dropped the second bucket of popcorn too.
"Oh my God," she said, looking down, then started to laugh. "No way!"
“You know I'll just buy you another one.”
"No, I think this is a sign that I shouldn't have any more. I mean, one dropped bucket is one thing, but two? It's basically saying, ‘Stop eating, Riley. You've been stuffing your face the whole weekend.’"
"What are you talking about? You are damn gorgeous."
"That's because I usually don't stuff my face."
I moved closer. "You’re beautiful. Don't fight me on that, or I will prove to you exactly how sexy you are to me."
She narrowed her eyes. "We’re in public."
"So?"
"And Jeremy’s in the bathroom."
That did the trick. I looked at the mess and crouched to the ground at the same time, putting the spilled popcorn back in the bucket.
"You dropped it again?" Jeremy said, sprinting toward us from the restroom.
What the hell had I been thinking, kissing her like that in public when Jeremy was just a few feet away?
I couldn't do this. It was unfair, both to my son and to her.
He needed to grow up in a stable home. And Riley deserved so fucking much more than a stolen kiss at the zoo while he was in the restroom, or a night in my bed when I could get away with it.
She deserved everything, and I didn't know if I could give that to her.
I tossed the popcorn in the trash can and then faced Riley. She bit her lip, avoiding my gaze. Could she tell from my expression what I was thinking? Or was she thinking along the same lines?
"Let's head toward the exit," I suggested. "They're going to close soon."
Jeremy pouted but nodded. We walked toward the exit with him between us. I glanced at Riley from time to time, but she seemed determined to avoid my gaze. I needed to have a serious conversation with her, but it couldn't be right now. I wanted her undivided attention, and I needed us to be alone.
"I can drop you off at home," I said once we got out.
"No, that's out of your way. And you’re going to miss Jeremy's bedtime if you do."