Chapter 20
Kairi didn't know why she felt so restless.
Nasa library siya, staring blankly at the book in front of her, pero hindi niya mabasa. Alice had stepped out for a moment, leaving her alone, but kahit wala ito, parang hindi siya mapakali.
She tapped her fingers on the table, mind drifting to—
Napakagat siya sa loob ng pisngi. No. She wasn't going to think about that.
Pero kahit anong pilit niyang ibaling sa iba ang atensyon, the nagging feeling remained.
It wasn't about Alice.
It wasn't about school, either.
It was—
Kairi exhaled sharply, rubbing her temples. She hated this. This feeling. Iyong paulit-ulit na bumabalik sa isip niya—Miss Herrera's voice, the way she looked at her last time, and more than that...the way Miss Herrera had been ignoring her even more since.
Napansin niya. Of course, she did.
Miss Herrera wasn't scolding her anymore. Wala na iyong mga disapproving looks sa tuwing inaantok siya sa klase. Hindi na rin siya tinatawag kahit obvious na hindi siya nakikinig.
She wasn't even trying anymore.
At hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit mas lalong sumikip ang dibdib niya dahil doon.
The bathroom was quiet when Kairi and Alice entered. Walang ibang tao. Kaya may kung anong tumakbo sa isipan ni Alice at hinila si Kairi sa loob ng isang cubicle, locking the door.
"We have time," Alice said, smirking.
Kairi let herself be pressed against the wall, Alice's lips meeting hers. The feeling was familiar now—something she knew she should get used to.
But just as things were heating up, voices echoed from the entrance.
"Did you see the flowers Sir Mark gave Miss Herrera?"
Kairi froze.
Alice stopped too, pero hindi siya lumayo.
"I know, right? Ang obvious na he's courting her," another girl said.
"Pero sabi ng iba, they saw Miss Herrera getting out of a car. And guess what, ibang lalaki ang bumaba and opened the door for her."
"Ha? Baka boyfriend niya iyon?"
"Baka! Miss Herrera might have two guys after her. Sino kayang pipiliin niya?"
"Sir Mark admitted in one of her classes that he likes her, 'di ba?"
Alice exhaled impatiently. "Can we not listen to this?" she whispered, trying to pull Kairi's attention back.
Pero hindi siya pinansin ni Kairi.
Eventually, the girls left. Alice tried to kiss Kairi again, but Kairi turned away.
Alice frowned. "Seriously?"
Kairi didn't answer. Instead, she unlocked the cubicle door and pushed it open, walking out without a word.
Kairi walked into the classroom, barely aware of her surroundings.
Maingay ang paligid niya, pero parang wala siyang naririnig.
Her mind was elsewhere—still stuck on what she had just overheard in the bathroom.
Diretsong naglakad si Kairi papunta sa upuan niya sa likod, with her hand balling into a fist. Her knuckles paled from the pressure.
She didn't understand.
Bakit ba niya iniisip iyon?
It was none of her business. It didn't concern her. And yet, the words played over and over in her head like an annoying tune she couldn't shake off.
"Miss Herrera might have two guys after her. Sino kayang pipiliin niya?"
Sir Mark and another guy.
So, Miss Herrera had options. Of course. Wala naman ng nakakagulat doon, someone like her would attract admirers.
Kairi's chest tightened, the discomfort creeping in so suddenly it almost made her nauseous. Was she bothered? And if so, bakit?
You don't care.
Ang mga salitang paulit ulit niyang sinasabi sa sarili. But if she didn't care, bakit iyon pa rin ang iniisip niya hanggang ngayon?
The classroom started filling up as other students took their seats. Nang mapansing wala pa si Alice, lumapit si Maya kay Kairi at hinawakan ito sa balikat.
"Hey, Kairi," Maya said, her voice soft. "Are you okay?"
Kairi forced herself to snap out of her thoughts, turning to Maya. "Yeah. Bakit?"
"You look like you're about to murder someone," Maya half-joked at tiningnan ang nakakuyom na kamay ni Kairi sa ibabaw ng table.
Kairi finally opened her hand, releasing from her own grip. "I'm fine."
Maya didn't seem convinced, but before she could say anything else, their teacher walked in.
Kairi straightened up, trying to focus, pero kahit anong pilit niyang ibalik ang atensyon sa lesson, her mind refused to cooperate.
It had been weeks. Weeks since that night.
Since Miss Herrera stopped looking at her. Since she stopped trying.
She rubbed her temple. Their midterm exams had just finished, and she knew she did enough to pass. Just enough. But enough didn't feel like enough. She could have studied more. She could have done better. Pero hindi niya ginawa.
Not when she spent most of her time with Alice. Gabi-gabi, kausap niya si Alice sa call, kwentuhan, tawanan. Sa school, halos hindi na sila mapaghiwalay. Tuwing may gagawin si Alice, nandoon siya. Tuwing may gusto si Alice, binibigay niya.
Pero sarili niya?
Nakalimutan na yata niya. She barely paid attention to her subjects, turning in assignments last-minute, skimming through notes instead of properly reviewing them.
She remembered sitting through the exams, reading each question with a blank stare, her mind struggling to recall lessons she knew she should have understood. May ilang sagot siyang sinulat nang walang pag-aalinlangan. Pero marami rin siyang hinulaan.
You could've done better.
The thought nagged at her now, more than it did back then. And it wasn't just about academics.
Kairi clenched her fists under the desk. May bigat sa dibdib niya na hindi niya maalis.
She could have done something differently.
Maybe if she hadn't done what she did—if she had just let things be—Miss Herrera wouldn't be avoiding her. Maybe if she had tried harder to fix things, she wouldn't be stuck in this cycle of frustration and resentment.
Maybe if she hadn't let Alice pull her in again at kung mas pinag-isipan niya ang mga desisyon niya, she wouldn't be here, feeling like she was losing parts of herself every single day.
Pero ano pa bang magagawa niya?
What was done was done.
It was too late to fix anything now.