Chapter 21
The classroom was quiet, save for the rustling of papers and the occasional murmurs of students reacting to their scores.
Miss Herrera sat on her desk, calling them one by one to retrieve their midterm test papers.
Kairi, however, just sat still, barely listening.
She didn't care. Alam niyang mababa ang score niya or at best, barely passing.
What was the point of worrying about it now?
"Kairi."
Slowly, Kairi stood and took a few steps forward. Hindi na siya lumayo masyado dahil hindi na siya muling pinalipat pa sa likod at nanatili na sa front row.
Miss Herrera held Kairi's test paper in her hand, pero hindi niya pa ito ibinibigay. Instead, she took a long, assessing look at Kairi. Napatingin si Kairi sa guro dahil kanina pa siya nakatayo, pero hindi pa rin ibinibigay ang paper niya.
Then, finally, Miss Herrera extended the paper towards Kairi. Nang makuha ito ni Kairi, saglit niyang tiningnan ang red mark sa taas ng paper niya.
75 out of 100. Right at the passing cutoff.
Napahigpit ang hawak ni Kairi, her fingers involuntarily crumpling the corner of the paper. Hindi niya alam kung bakit. It wasn't like she expected anything better. Pero iba pa rin ang naging epekto nito sa kanya.
Nakita ito ni Miss Herrera. She saw the way Kairi's hand clenched, the way her jaw stiffened, and the disappointment in her eyes.
"See me after class," Miss Herrera said, voice soft. "You know where to find me."
Napabuntong-hininga si Kairi, pero hindi siya nagsalita. Tumalikod na lang siya at bumalik sa upuan niya. And Kairi folded her test paper, not wanting to see it again.
The rest of the day blurred into monotony. Each class, isa lang ang nangyari—teachers returning their test papers, announcing the midterm results. Kairi barely listened. She didn't even bother checking her scores.
One by one, she just folded them neatly, stacking them in her bag. Para saan pa? Alam na niyang hindi niya magugustuhan ang makikitang scores. She planned to tear them apart later, throw them away, pretend they never existed.
Pero kahit na expected niya ang ganitong results, it didn't make her feel better. It actually made her feel worse.
"Wanna come to my place? Wala ang parents ko so, tayong dalawa lang," pag-aaya ni Alice.
Magkasama sila ni Kairi na naglalakad sa hallway galing sa last class nila. Kanina pa talaga nagsasalita itong si Alice, but Kairi barely reacted. Her mind was elsewhere.
Alice nudged her. "Hey, I'm talking to you."
Kairi stopped walking.
"I can't," she muttered.
Alice raised an eyebrow. "Can't what?"
"I won't be going with you."
Alice's expression darkened slightly. "Why not? Bakit ba palagi kang tumatanggi pumunta sa amin?"
Kairi exhaled through her nose. "Miss Herrera wants to talk."
That made Alice scoff, crossing her arms. "And you're actually going? What for? She's just—ugh, Kairi, she's out to get you! Lagi ka na lang niyang—"
"Alice," Kairi cut her off, voice tired. Kairi was too exhausted for this. "Not now."
Alice made a noise of protest, but Kairi was already turning away. She didn't even check if Alice followed her. She just walked.
Kairi walked down the hallway, her steps slow and hesitant. Nasa dulo ng hallway ang last class ni Miss Herrera, and with every step closer, a voice in her head kept asking—Why am I even going there?
But then Miss Herrera's words echoed in her mind—
"Saying all these things about facing things head-on, but the moment something doesn't go your way, you stop."
Kairi's jaw clenched.
No. I'll prove you wrong.
Kairi reached Miss Herrera's last class—a familiar place. She had been here before. What surprised her was seeing Miss Herrera already outside, standing by the door, waiting.
"Come in," Miss Herrera said.
As Kairi stepped inside, Miss Herrera pulled the door close, locking it—something she had never done before. Napansin iyon ni Kairi pero hindi na lang siya nagsalita at umupo sa second row. She didn't want to sit too close to Miss Herrera's desk.
Kairi watched as Miss Herrera walked toward her and pulled a chair beside her instead of sitting behind the teacher's desk.
Miss Herrera sat, folding her hands on her lap. It was the first time in weeks that they were alone together.
For a moment, she just looked at Kairi—really looked at her, studying her. Kairi looked exhausted—her usual sharpness dulled, her shoulders heavier than before. She had lost weight. And the look in her eyes...it was empty.
"How have you been?" Miss Herrera finally asked.
Kairi let out a dry chuckle, shaking her head. "Miss, you really called me here just to ask that? Kung tungkol ito sa grades ko, just say so."
Miss Herrera didn't flinch. "Okay, let's talk about your performance."
Silence.
Then Miss Herrera spoke again. "I went through your midterm performance. It's not just one subject, Kairi. You've barely passed most of your classes."
Kairi scoffed, slumping against the chair. "Expected that much."
"You were doing well before. I've seen you work. You're intelligent, perceptive. You—" Miss Herrera stopped herself. "This isn't you. The Kairi I know wouldn't settle for barely passing. She wouldn't throw away all her hard work just like this."
Kairi clenched her fists. Alam niyang tama si Miss Herrera. She knew it deep down. And she hated it.
"Miss, why do you care?" Kairi snapped.
"Kairi—"
"You don't have to pretend," Kairi cut her off, looking at her with cold eyes. "Miss, I know you don't actually care. You made that very clear."
Miss Herrera's brows furrowed. "Kairi, hindi 'yan totoo. I'm not pretending. I ca—"
Kairi abruptly stood up, her chair scraping against the floor. "Stop."
Miss Herrera blinked up at her in surprise.
"Miss, when I needed to talk to you, you shut me down," Kairi said, her voice rising. "When I needed to face what happened—when I needed you—you acted like I didn't even exist. You told me nothing happened. So why now? Why are you suddenly pretending to care?"
Miss Herrera flinched, but quickly masked it. "Kairi, sit down—"
Umiling si Kairi, stepping back. "No. If you're so good at pretending, then pretend this isn't happening too. Kagaya ng ginawa mo dati."
Miss Herrera looked away. Para siyang sinampal ng mga salitang iyon, ng katotohanan.
A pang of guilt settled in her chest. She hesitated, debating with herself.
Maybe Kairi was right. Maybe she shouldn't have ignored what happened that night.
Siguro nga dapat pinag-usapan na lang nila ang nangyari, instead of pretending it didn't happen at all.
Kairi scoffed, turning to leave. "This is nonsense."
She barely made it two steps before—
"Fine," Miss Herrera said, standing up. "You want to talk about it? Let's talk about it."
Kairi swallowed before slowly turning her back, meeting Miss Herrera's gaze.
"Don't you think it's too late for that?" Kairi asked in disbelief.
Miss Herrera's lips parted, but she didn't waver. "No."
Then she finally said it, the words she had refused to say for weeks.
"What you did that night was wrong, Kairi."
Kairi flinched.
Miss Herrera's voice was steady but firm. "Kairi, you are my student. And I am your damn teacher! You shouldn't have done that. I could lose my job, my license—"
"You kissed me back."
Miss Herrera inhaled sharply.
Kairi stepped closer, eyes locked onto hers. "Miss Herrera, you kissed me back. I felt it. And we both know it."
Miss Herrera's face remained neutral, pero nakakuyom na ang mga kamay niya sa gilid niya. "It was a mistake."
A mistake.
"A big mistake," Miss Herrera continued. "I shouldn't have brought you there. I shouldn't have agreed to that deal. And I sure as hell shouldn't have gotten close to you."
Parang nanlamig ang buong katawan ni Kairi sa lahat ng narinig. Para bang biglang nawalan ng saysay ang lahat, all their moments together—Miss Herrera helping her with her studies, drinking coffee together, feeling safe in her presence. It all shattered before her eyes.
She thought she meant something. She thought they meant something.
Her vision blurred.
Huli na ng mapansin ni Miss Herrera ang mga salitang binitiwan niya. The words had already cut too deep.
Miss Herrera stepped forward, voice gentle now. "Kairi—"
Kairi wiped at her cheek quickly, turning away. "I have to go."
"Kairi, wait—"
Pero nakalabas na si Kairi, leaving Miss Herrera standing there, staring at the door she had just left open.