Chapter 53
Miss Herrera held her close with her forehead resting against Kairi's habang patuloy pa ring dumadaloy ang tubig sa kanilang dalawa. Both of them were still struggling to catch their breaths. And her body was still humming from everything that just happened, but her mind was already spiraling.
What the hell had she done?
Napatingin siya kay Kairi—sa nanginginig pa rin nitong katawan, sa labi nitong pulang-pula dahil sa mga madidiing halik niya, at sa bahagyang nakaawang na uniform sa harapan niya.
The sight burned itself into her. Ramdam niya pa rin sa kamay niya kung paano kumapit si Kairi.
Kung paano ito nakiusap. At kung paano nito binigkas ang pangalan niya na para bang dito nakasalalay ang buhay nito.
At ang masama, she had wanted it. Bumigay siya. And she had taken every second of it.
Her throat tightened. She should have stopped. She should have pulled away bago pa sila umabot dito. But no, she had done it and there was no taking it back.
Miss Herrera's hand lingered on Kairi's cheek, brushing her thumb gently as if to sooth.
Pero hindi nito naitago ang mga nasa mata niya.
Dark. Conflicted. Guilt. Gusto niyang umiwas ng tingin, pero hindi niya magawa.
Not when Kairi was looking up at her like this.
With her eyes and lips trembling with something deeper than desire.
Then the words came.
"I...I love you."
The words hit her like a punch straight to the chest. Parang may humigop ng hangin sa baga niya. She froze. Lahat ng muscles niya, parang nag-lock. Pati iyong daliri niyang nakadikit sa pisngi ni Kairi ay biglang nanigas.
No. Hindi niya dapat narinig iyon. She had no right to hear that.
Her heart pounded violently. Halo-halo ang tumatakbo sa isip niya—responsibility, fear, the memory of her own hands on Kairi's skin, and the taste of her lips still lingering on her mouth. The guilt pressed so hard na parang hindi na siya makahinga.
Pero hindi umiwas si Kairi. She said it again, softer. As if to make sure na narinig ni Miss Herrera ang sinabi niya.
"I love you, Miss Herrera."
Fragile. Honest. Walang kahit anong depensa. Just her truth, hanging between them.
At sa pangalawang pagkakataong iyon, wala pa ring kahit anong salita ang narinig mula kay Miss Herrera. Only the silence stayed between them.
For a moment, her eyes stayed on Kairi—haunted and guilty. Until she finally squeezed them shut, as if that could block out both the confession at lahat ng ginawa niya.
The silence became her only answer.
Miss Herrera forced herself to move, kahit ramdam niya pa rin ang tension sa pagitan nila. She reached past Kairi to turn the shower knob at tumigil ang pagbuhos ng tubig, replaced only by the soft dripping against the tiles.
Yumuko siya para kunin ang towel na dinala ni Kairi kanina, na ngayon ay basang-basa na sa sahig. She shook it out once, then hung it neatly on the rack as if tidying up could erase what just happened. Then, never looking back at Kairi, she stepped out of the shower.
The bathroom light caught the lines of her soaked clothes clinging to her body habang naglalakad siya papunta sa counter. She pulled a fresh towel from the shelf, unfolded it, and placed it gently on top.
"Dry off first. I'll give you a moment."
And with that, she walked out, leaving a trail of wet footsteps behind her.
Miss Herrera slowly lifted her gaze, when she heard Kairi's soft footsteps. Her eyes caught on Kairi's figure wrapped in a towel. She held her stare for a moment too long—something unreadable flickering there—before she looked away again.
"There are clothes on the bed," she said quietly. "Use them for now while I dry your clothes."
Then she pushed herself off the counter at dumaan sa tabi ni Kairi nang hindi man lang lumilingon hanggang sa makapasok siya sa banyo.
When Miss Herrera came out minutes later, the apartment was quieter and heavier.
She had a towel wrapped around herself now with her hair still dripping and strands clinging to her face and neck.
She entered the bedroom to find Kairi sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed.
Suot na nito ang isa sa mga shirt at shorts ni Miss Herrera.
Kairi stood the moment she saw her. "I'll...I'll step out so you can change."
Huminto si Miss Herrera sa paanan ng kama at bahagyang umiling. "Stay."
Iyon lang ang sinabi niya bago tumalikod at nagbukas ng mga drawer para kumuha ng susuotin.
May kaunting panginginig sa mga kamay nito na hindi nahalata ni Kairi.
She chose a shirt, then a pair of loose pants.
She made sure to keep her back turned as long as possible.
Nang tuluyan na siyang humarap muli, nandoon pa rin si Kairi—tensyonado ang balikat habang nakaupo at ang mga mata naman ay nakatingin lang sa sahig.
Dahan-dahang niluwagan ni Miss Herrera ang tuwalya sa dibdib niya. Dumulas ang tela pababa and for a brief moment, parang tumigil ang oras sa loob ng kwarto. Kairi's head turned quickly para ilihis ang tingin papunta sa bintana. Her jaw was set tight na parang pinipigilan ang sarili.
Miss Herrera said nothing. Tahimik lang siyang nagbihis with deliberate motions, as though the sound of fabric sliding over her damp skin might drown out the memory of what they had just done in the shower.
Nang matapos siya, iniwan niya ang basang tuwalya sa upuan sa tabi ng dresser. Her hands lingered at her sides, clenched and restless, bago tuluyang kumalma. She didn't look at Kairi, though the weight of her presence was impossible to ignore.
Samantala, nanatiling tuwid ang upo ni Kairi sa kama habang mahigpit na nakahawak sa laylayan ng hiniram na shirt. Bumigat ang katahimikan sa pagitan nila hanggang sa hindi na niya ito nakayanan.
"Do you..." she started. Mahina lang ang boses niya pero malinaw sa buong kwarto. "Do you want to talk about...what happened at school?"
Miss Herrera, still facing the dresser, shook her head once. "No."
The answer was too fast. Masyadong diretso na parang sinarado na nito ang pinto bago pa man makalapit si Kairi.
Her stomach tightened, but she tried again, mas maingat na ngayon. "Then what about...what happened in the shower?"
This time, natigilan si Miss Herrera. Nanigas ang balikat niya at bahagyang yumuko ang ulo.
"Not now, Kairi."
Kairi's chest ached at the dismissal. She leaned forward, her tone sharpening. "Not now, not ever? Miss, hindi ka nga makatingin sa akin without shutting down."
Miss Herrera closed her eyes. Silent.
"You think ignoring it makes it disappear?" patuloy pa rin ni Kairi. "You touched me. Miss, you had me begging for you. You made me lose myself right there in your hands."
Miss Herrera's hand curled into a fist at her side.
"I screamed your name," dagdag ni Kairi nang nanginginig ang boses pero hindi umiwas ng tingin. "And now you're acting like...wala lang. Like it didn't matter. Again."
"Kairi—" may babala na sa tono ni Miss Herrera, pero hindi na siya pinatapos.
"No," Kairi pushed, unflinching. "You don't get to shut me out. You fucked me, Miss. You had me shaking and clinging to you like I'd fall apart without you. So, don't you dare stand there and act like you didn't want it!"
Biglang humarap si Miss Herrera. Madilim ang mga mata, nagliliyab—pero sa ilalim noon, nandoon ang takot. Ang bigat ng guilt na halos dumurog sa kanya. Nang magsalita siya, her voice cracked.
"I didn't want to touch you like that, Kairi. I didn't want to lose control...not like that."
Kairi's lips parted, her throat tight, pero nang magsalita siya, malinaw ang bawat salita. "Miss, hindi ko pinagsisisihan ang nangyari. Not one second."
Miss Herrera flinched, chest heaving.
Kairi leaned forward. "Bakit ba ayaw mong pag-usapan? Because you know na bibigay ka ulit? Because you'll put your hands on me until I'm screaming your name again?"
"Kairi, stop—"
"You wanted me," putol niya nang basag ang boses pero hindi ito humina. "You made me yours. You made me come undone in your arms. And nakita ko, you loved it. Miss, we both know you fucking loved it."
"Stop."
"You can bury it, but I won't," sagot ni Kairi. Nanginginig na ang tinig nito at nangingilid ang luha. "You can hate yourself for it all you want. Pero ako? Hindi. I don't regret it. And if you touch me again, Miss?" she drew in a shaky breath. "I'd beg for you again."