Chapter 54
"I'd beg for you again."
Miss Herrera's whole body shook. Then her voice finally snapped, a shout tearing from her throat.
"Kairi, enough!"
The sound cracked through the room, shaking the air between them.
Nanginginig ang mga kamao ni Miss Herrera sa tagiliran niya. Mabilis din ang paghinga niya, bakas ang hiya at takot sa bawat galaw. She dragged both hands through her hair, tugging hard as if she could tear the memory out by force.
"You think I'm proud of it? Proud of the way I touched you like I couldn't stop?" Umupo siya sa gilid ng kama with her elbows braced to her knees. "Kairi, I wasn't gentle with you. I wasn't careful."
Nanatili ang tingin niya sa baba, hindi niya magawang tingnan si Kairi.
"I took from you instead of giving. And you begged because I pushed you there...not because deserve ko."
Her chest hitched as she drew a breath, but it caught, breaking apart. She shut her eyes, shoulders dropping as if the words themselves weighed her down.
"I dragged you into my mess and ginamit kita to drown it out. I hurt you." Her voice cracked, the last words nearly a whisper. "And I won't let it happen again."
The silence after was brutal.
Hindi na rin nakapagsalita pa si Kairi. Ano pa bang dapat niyang sabihin para makumbinsi si Miss Herrera na ginusto niya ang nangyari? Is it always gonna be like this every time Miss Herrera crosses a line?
Hindi pa rin pantay ang paghinga ni Miss Herrera. Her hands gripped the edge of the mattress until her knuckles whitened. Nang magsalita siya ulit, her voice came rough and small.
"You can't stay here tonight."
Kairi froze. "What?"
Miss Herrera didn't turn. "You need to leave, Kairi."
Her voice was soft but strained, trembling with guilt she couldn't hide. "Please."
Kairi shook her head in disbelief. "No. I'm not going anywhere."
"Kairi—"
"After ng lahat ng nangyari?" putol ni Kairi. Halo ang galit at sakit sa boses niya. "You're kicking me out?"
Biglang tumayo si Miss Herrera. Her eyes were glassy and her jaw was clenched like she was forcing each word out. "I'm asking you to go because I can't think straight with you here."
"So ngayon, kasalanan ko?" Kairi snapped. "You touch me, you lose control, and now ako ang problema rito?"
"That's not what I said."
"Pero iyon ang ibig mong sabihin!" Kairi shot back. "Miss, sa tingin mo ba maaayos ito kung itataboy mo ako?"
Lumingon si Miss Herrera at tuluyan ng bumigay ang boses niya. "It's the only thing I know how to do right now. So please, Kairi. Just go."
Tinitigan siya ni Kairi na para siyang sinampal nito. Her throat worked, but the words came out bitter, shaking. "Fine."
She stood, the oversized shirt falling unevenly over her thighs, and wiped at her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. "Where the hell are my clothes?"
"They're in the dryer."
Kairi brushed past her, heading out for the small laundry space near the kitchen. Miss Herrera followed immediately.
"Kairi, please—just wait, I'll get them—"
But Kairi was already pulling the dryer door open at inilabas ang medyo basa pang uniform niya.
"Stop," Miss Herrera said, reaching for her wrist. "You don't have to do that—"
Marahas na binawi ni Kairi ang braso niya. "Don't touch me."
"Kairi—"
"What? You can't stand the sight of me, but now you're pretending na may pake ka?"
"That's not what this is," Miss Herrera said, voice rising. "You don't understand—"
Humarap si Kairi sa kanya. "Then make me understand! Because all I see is you pushing me away again and again after making me—" she broke off, voice cracking, "—after making me feel like I mattered."
Miss Herrera's mouth opened, pero wala rin siyang nasabi.
Kairi let out a shaky breath. "You're so scared of what you did that you'd rather erase me than face it."
"I'm trying to protect you," Miss Herrera said through gritted teeth.
"From what? Sayo?" napatawa na lang nang mapait si Kairi. "Too late for that, Miss."
Miss Herrera's face twisted with pain. "Kairi—stop—"
Pero nasimulan na ni Kairi na hubarin ang ipinahiram sa kanya na mga damit. "Don't worry. I'll leave. That's what you want, right?"
Miss Herrera turned her head away immediately, eyes squeezed shut. "Please—just...stop."
Kairi let out another bitter laugh. "You can't even look at me now. God, you really do regret it."
She shoved her arms into her half-wet blouse, the fabric clinging cold to her skin.
"Kairi," Miss Herrera said again.
"You want me to leave? Fine," Kairi said with her voice tight and trembling. "You'll regret this more than I ever could."
"Kairi—"
Pero bumukas na ang pinto, then sumara nang malakas.
Naiwang nakatayo si Miss Herrera sa gitna ng kusina, eyes still fixed on the space Kairi had left behind.
Kairi rang the doorbell once.
Then again.
And again, holding it down this time until the sound echoed through the small house. It was late at night and the street was empty except for the taxi idling by the gate. The light above the doorway flickered before Zoe finally appeared by the gate with her messy hair and half-awake eyes.
Nang makita niya si Kairi, bigla siyang natigilan. "What the—" Her voice caught halfway between shock and concern. She blinked hard, as if trying to piece together what she was seeing. "Kairi?"
Kairi stood there. Namamaga ang mga mata niya, parang wala nang laman ang tingin. Hindi siya agad nagsalita. Maya-maya, iniangat niya ang nanginginig na kamay at itinuro ang taxi sa likod niya.
"Can you...pay for it?" mahina niyang sabi.
Zoe's mouth opened, then closed again. Hindi na siya nagtanong. Tumango lang siya, pumasok sandali, at bumalik dala ang wallet. Dumiretso siya sa driver, iniabot ang pera, nagpasalamat nang mahina, at hinintay munang umalis ang taxi bago bumalik kay Kairi.
"Pasok ka," Zoe said softly, opening the gate wider. "Were you just—did you come from Miss Herrera's?"
Kairi's jaw tensed. Malayo ang tingin niya na parang wala sa sarili.
"What happened?" Zoe tried again, her tone careful na halos nagmamakaawa na para sa kasagutan.
Pero hindi pa rin nagsalita si Kairi. Sumunod lang siya kay Zoe papasok ng bahay, mabigat ang bawat hakbang. The moment they stepped into the living room's dim light, humarap si Zoe sa kanya at doon niya tuluyang nakita ang mukha ng kaibigan.
Kairi's eyes were red, her lashes clumped from dried tears. Her lips trembled as she tried to breathe, but nothing steady came out. The sight made Zoe's stomach twist.
"Kai..." Zoe whispered. "Hey, are you—"
Pero hindi na niya natapos ang tanong.
Biglang bumigay si Kairi. Parang bigla na lang naubos ang natitirang lakas niya. Nanlambot ang mga tuhod niya at bumagsak siya sa sahig, kasabay ng isang paghikbi—raw and strangled—as she covered her face as her tears poured freely.
Hindi na nagdalawang isip si Zoe. She dropped down beside her friend as she wrapped her arms around her shaking shoulders.
"Hey, hey, it's okay..." she murmured, pulling her closer. Isinubsob ni Kairi ang mukha niya sa balikat ni Zoe, crying like she'd been holding it in for hours—like the words and warmth she'd been chasing were gone for good.
That's when Zoe noticed the damp chill of Kairi's clothes, ang amoy ng ulan na hindi naman galing sa labas. Ang telang nakadikit pa rin sa balat niya na parang hindi pa talaga natutuyo.
Humigpit ang yakap ni Zoe.
It was the second time Kairi had cried in her arms. The first time, pinagalitan niya ito—told her to get a grip, to stop running headfirst into things that could ruin her.
But now? She couldn't. She couldn't ask kung ano ba talagang nangyari. She couldn't ask kung bakit basa ang uniform nito kahit hindi naman umulan. Hindi niya magawang sabihin sa kaibgan na sana hindi na niya pinuntahan ang guro nila.
Ang tanging nagawa na lang ni Zoe ay ang hawakan si Kairi, ang yakapin siya.
At ang magsisi. Pinagsisisihan niyang hindi niya hinawakan ang kamay ni Kairi para pigilan itong buksan ang pinto ng sasakyan—the door that led her straight to the person who shattered her. Sa taong kahit paulit-ulit siyang itinaboy, hindi pa rin niya magawang layuan.
Pero pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari...
May babalikan pa ba si Kairi kay Miss Herrera?
At kung meron man, maaayos pa ba ang lahat gaya ng dati?