Chapter 59
Kairi's father didn't shout again.
Wala na rin siyang sinabi.
Tumalikod siya mula kay Kairi na nakaupo pa rin sa sahig ng sala, then dumaan na lang sa harap nila without another word. Mabigat ang bawat hakbang niya paakyat ng hagdan, two steps at a time, hanggang sa umalingawngaw ang malakas na pagsara ng pinto sa taas.
Halos hindi na iyon napansin ni Kairi.
Nakaluhod na ang nanay niya sa tabi niya na agad siyang niyakap nang maingat pero mahigpit like she was afraid Kairi might slip away if she didn't hold on tight enough.
Hindi na na tinanong kung bakit. Hindi tinanong kung kailan nagsimula.
She didn't ask who or when or kung ano ba talagang nangyari.
She just held her daughter.
Kumapit si Kairi pabalik without thinking, her fingers gripping her mom's shirt as if it was the only solid thing left in the world. Her sobs softened into uneven breaths, then broke again. Nanginginig na ang katawan niya. Hindi na lang dahil sa pag-iyak, kundi sa sobrang pagod.
Nakatayo si Lara ilang hakbang ang layo, parang napako sa kinatatayuan.
Kita sa mukha niya yung galit, pero hindi niya alam kung saan ilalabas, o kanino ibubuhos.
Ang daming tanong, pero walang sagot. Nakakuyom ang mga kamay niya sa gilid, nails digging into her palms. Pinanood niya ang nanay nila habang yakap si Kairi.
Wala siyang magawa but to watch her sister fall apart in a way she'd never seen before.
She felt the urge to protect her sister, pero kasabay nito, ramdam niya rin kung gaano siya ka-helpless.
She didn't move.
Ilang sandali pa, binalot na ng katahimikan ang buong bahay. The kind that felt wrong, na parang ang dali nitong mabasag kapag may huminga lang nang medyo malakas.
Morning came.
Nakahain na ang breakfast sa mesa na parang walang nangyari. Plates. Cups. The smell of rice and eggs lingering in the air. A normal setup that felt almost cruel.
Si Kairi ang huling bumaba.
Mabagal at maingat siyang naglakad na parang bawat hakbang, kailangan muna ng go signal. Her heels still ached from last night, pero halos wala na lang iyon kumpara sa bigat sa dibdib niya. Namamaga rin ang mga mata niya dahil sa sobrang pag-iyak kagabi.
Umupo siya nang hindi tumitingin kahit kanino.
Her mother was already moving around the table, setting another glass of water down and adjusting plates that didn't need adjusting. "Kain ka na bago lumamig ang pagkain," she said gently, like this was any other morning.
Kairi nodded even though no one was really speaking to her.
They began eating.
The sound of a spoon tapping a plate made her shoulders jerk before she could stop it. Mabilis siyang lumunok, forcing the bite down even though her throat resisted, even though it felt like the food had nowhere to go.
Sa tapat niya, nakatutok lang ang tatay niya sa plato.
Hindi siya tiningnan nito. Kahit isang beses.
Not when she sat down. Not when she moved.
Tahimik lang na kumain ang tatay niya. It was so mechanical, like the space in front of him required all of his attention.
Pinilit ni Kairi ang isa pang subo. Ngumuya. Lumunok. Her fingers tightened around the spoon when it felt like it might come back up.
Muling nagsalita ang nanay niya nang mas mahina at may tinanong kay Lara tungkol sa kung ano lang. School, message, kahit anong normal pakinggan. Pinilit niyang buhayin ang usapan.
Sumagot naman si Lara, but her eyes kept drifting.
Watching Kairi. Watching their father. Watching the space between them like she was waiting for something to break.
Ramdam iyon ni Kairi. Every glance. Every silence.
Hindi siya tumingala. Pinilit lang niya ang sarili niyang kumain—isa pang subo, tapos isa pa. Each swallow was like a proof that she was trying. That she was here.
Walang biruan. Walang small talks.
Only the scrape of utensils and the weight none of them knew how to carry.
The tension sat thick between them, pressing in from all sides.
Hindi tumingala si Kairi. Hindi siya tumingin. Hindi niya kaya.
Kasi hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin siya tinitingnan ng tatay niya.
And somehow, that hurt more than his anger.
That evening, pababa na si Kairi ng hagdan when she heard voices.
Her parents. From the kitchen.
Napahinto siya.
"...this can't just be ignored," sabi ng tatay niya, voice low but sharp. Controlled. Too controlled. "She confessed something like that and we're just—what? Acting na parang walang nangyari?"
"I'm not saying we ignore it," her mother replied, quieter but firm. "Hon, ang sinasabi ko lang ay huwag natin siyang i-corner."
"She's isolating herself," mabilis na sagot ng tatay niya. "Bigla na lang nawala nang ilang oras. Uuwi nang ganyan. And now this—this situation—"
"She's hurting," putol ng nanay niya. "Nasasaktan iyong bata."
"Hindi na siya bata," he shot back. "But she's not an adult either. And someone crossed a line."
Napigil ang paghinga ni Kairi.
"Hindi pa natin alam ang buong istorya," her mother said. "And yelling won't make her tell us."
"So what do you suggest?" he demanded. "Maghihintay na lang tayo hanggang tuluyan siyang—hanggang tuluyan ng mawala sa sarili ang anak natin?"
Silence.
Then softer. Tired.
"Hon, natatakot ako," her mother admitted. "Hindi ko alam paano siya tutulungan without breaking her even more."
Kairi couldn't listen anymore.
Tahimik siyang tumalikod paakyat ulit ng hagdan bago pa marinig ang paghinga niya. Dumiretso siya sa kwarto niya at sinara ang pinto, leaning her back against it.
Her chest hurt.
She pressed her lips together, blinking hard para pigilan ang pagtulo ng ng luha niya.
Don't cry.
Not now.
Not before dinner.
Dahan-dahan siyang dumulas pababa hanggang makaupo siya sa sahig. She tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling.
Sumabay siya sa kanila kaninang umaga. Kumain siya ng lunch kasama nila. Sasabay ulit siya mamaya sa dinner.
She had to.
Because she was afraid of what would happen if she didn't. Natatakot siyang makita ulit iyong galit sa mukha ng tatay niya. Natatakot siyang mas lalo pa itong lumayo.
After breakfast, natulog lang siya. After a long and uncomfortable silence during lunch, natulog lang ulit siya.
Lara hadn't been there for lunch. Somehow, that made it worse.
Pagod na pagod si Kairi in a way na hindi kayang ayusin ng pagtulog lang.
Pagod sa pagkawala ni Miss Herrera. Sa realization na baka hindi na niya ito makita ulit. Sa galit sa boses ng tatay niya. Sa bigat ng disappointment na na-i-imagine niyang nasa mata ng nanay niya, kahit hindi naman siya sigurado.
Ayaw na niyang mag-isip pa.
Hindi na niya alam anong iisipin.
Kaya umupo lang siya doon, naghihintay na tawagin para mag-dinner. Pinipilit niyang buuin ang sarili kasi pakiramdam niya, pag bumigay siya ulit, baka hindi na siya makabangon pa.