20. Yeremy
Yeremy
I should have kept walking toward the door, my fingers was so tight around my purse strap as I thought about beating Bianca’s ass for what it was worth.
I always pushed any negative thought about her out of my mind because I really loved her.
I turned to look at the bitch standing near the middle of her living room.
Her arms was folded across her chest, with a smug look plastered on her face. She tilted her eyes and narrowed her eyes at me.
“You know what?” I smiled at her.
Through the smile, pain clawed its way up my throat.
“Casper always told me that I was better than you. He told me that you wasn’t shit but another hoe looking for a come up.” I chuckled painfully.
“My dad said that if I was to tell you that I was in love with you…you’d lie and say the same then be my bitch.
Anything for a better life, instead of working to get the things you desire.
Now, I believe him. It’s all crystal clear for me now.
” I turned on the balls of my feet, feeling a little better.
“You know…” she said slowly.
“Ramsey always said that I felt better than you!” she spat out.
My blood turned into ice; my feet moved faster than I thought. I dropped my bag and practically flew across the room to beat her ass.
“You stupid ass bitch!” Whap! I open hand smacked her across the cheek.
“You thought you fucking ate?” I stepped back from her to see if she had something to say.
Bianca always talked shit but never could back her mouth up. My vision blurred from the tears building in my eyes.
“You out of all people slept with my nigga? My fucking man? Ramsey!” I asked in disbelief.
Bianca held her bloody lip with wide eyes.
“He was my nigga first, I let you have him; you basically played the front while I was in the backseat. I knew how Ramsey was, you just refused to see the shit. You should be thanking me hoe and?—”
I launched at her, not letting her finish her sentence.
We crashed to the floor. She squealed beneath me as my fists landed back-to-back against her face.
I didn’t give a damn about her crying and begging for me to stop.
I wanted Bianca to feel how she made me felt on the inside.
I wanted her to feel every lie, every fake laugh, every backhanded compliment.
I comfortably sat on top of her with my knees on either side of her petite body. My hands went around her throat as I looked into her eyes. I could feel my heart breaking but was numb to all the bullshit.
“You sat across from me every day while I was mourning, knowing what you did.” My voice cracked as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
“You a sick ass bitch! I should fuckin’ kill you.” I squeezed her neck tighter.
Bianca’s eyes popped out of socket as she kicked her legs and scratched at my arms. A knock at the door sounded off, snapping me out of my rage.
I froze for a couple of seconds above her as I listened to the knocks sound off again.
Slowly, I got off of Bianca, my body trembled as she scrambled backwards.
On my way over to the door, I picked up my purse, not bothering to look back at her.
I opened the door, and it felt like time stopped.
Ramsey’s mom stood at the door with her arms crossed over her chest with a look of satisfaction on her ugly ass face.
Behind her was Bianca’s kids. I got dizzy instantly as shit hit me faster than a train.
My mouth opened but no words fell out. I turned my head slowly with disbelief crawling up my spine.
Bianca slowly stood up with blood covering her face.
“I hate you but love you for helping me whenever I needed you. You always got in the way. It all started with Ramsey. You got this aura about you, Yeremy…that makes people believe that you’re so sweet and innocent.
Yeah, you got a college education, but you are a dummy!
I’m not the only one that has had my fair share of having my way when it comes to you.
” Bianca spat out of gob of spit mixed with blood on her carpet.
“The fuck y’all just standing there behind ya Nana for? This is grown folks business! Go to your room!” Bianca yelled at her kids, making them jump hard.
“Sorry, Tee Tee.” Bianca’s five-year-old daughter Lee Lee looked up into my eyes.
I looked down at her as my chest constricted for her. I hated that she had to be raised by such a trifling ass momma.
“Lee Lee, never apologize for the actions of others. You didn’t do anything wrong, baby. I love you always. Respect your mom and take your brother to y’all room.” I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.
Lee Lee wiped her tears away then turned to grab her little brother’s hand. I leaned down and gave him a quick kiss to his cheek and watched them walk away. Once they was out of earshot, everything inside me collapsed. A small hollow laugh slipped from my throat.
I refused to break in front of Ramsey’s mom, Larella. I didn’t even know why I was still blocking her way in. I stood in the middle of the door frame perplexed as fuck.
“I know it hurts, but the reality of the entire situation needed to hit at some point. You thought I didn’t like you, when in actual reality…
I didn’t like how na?ve you were for my son.
You deserved better, however…my loyalty is always with him, and since he’s not here anymore… it’s with those kids.”
I slowly nodded my head and stepped around her.
I didn’t wait to hear the sound of the door closing behind.
I walked as fast as I could to my truck.
Soon as I got in, my vision blurred with heat and heartbreak.
My chest burned as my jaws locked to keep from sobbing.
I started my car and peeled off from the curb in desperate need for some kind of relief and comfort.
Every light I passed blurred into streaks of white and gold as I sped through the city like something was chasing me.
I clenched my steering wheel tightly as I ignored the way my phone lit up again and again on the passenger seat.
One second it was Sol, then the text notification lit up.
The next second it was Bianca calling back-to-back.
I hated how a small part of me wanted to answer just to hear her say that none of it was true. That those weren’t his kids and that she hadn’t spent years lying to me with a smile painted on her face like she really was my best friend.
I hit a hundred on the freeway and didn’t slow down until I turned down the quiet gated street that led to my father’s estate.
It had always been an entire world away from the hell that awaited me in the ‘Real World’.
I needed my dad, and I didn’t give a damn if he said ‘he told me so’ a million times to my face.
His iron gates opened like arms that I needed around me. I drove up the long-curved driveway shaking. After putting my car in park, I left my keys, phone, and purse in the car. Right now, I didn’t give a damn about nothing but getting to Casper.
I ran up the steps to the double doors; before I could try the door handle, Esmeralda opened the double doors with a worried look etched on her face.
“Casper?” I asked her with my voice cracking.
“In his study with ju ma ma.” She spoke with her heavy accent.
I took off toward the hallway, and the closer I got, the heavier my sobs became.
It wasn’t a surprise that my mom was here.
Casper always talked bad about her and acted like she was just another woman on his roster.
It was something about chocolate drop beautiful Benita that always had her popping up randomly.
Most of the time when my mom visited, I wasn’t aware.
They kept their weird relationship to themselves.
Whenever I tried to tell my mom that she deserved better, she get offended and tell me that she wasn’t waiting around for Casper.
That was true, she dated different guys.
I just hated the way she came running whenever he sent for her.
Just like Esmeralda said, I found them in the study.
The room was lit by tall lamps and the flicker of the fireplace.
My mom sat ghetto-fabulous and unbothered with her legs crossed on my dad’s black velvet chaise.
She leaned over my dad’s outstretched hands and filed his nails with exaggerated care.
Her long acrylics was hot pink with rhinestones that flashed each time she turned his hand.
“I should paint these muthafucka’s pink like mine…put a little glitter on that shit.” She laughed.
The smell of weed told me that they was both high as hell vibing. This was the side of my parent’s that I never got to witness. How they acted with one another behind closed doors had me standing in disbelief.
“Don’t play with me, Nita. You spending too much time on my damn hands. I’m ready for you to do my feet.” He chuckled, which surprised me too.
My dad’s salt-and-pepper waves was shaped enough to slice through tension.
His fade was fresh, and his beard shined like he had my mom wash and moisturize it.
His cigar was perched in the corner of his mouth as he sat back relaxed in his leather chair.
The way he looked at her made my heart crack.
It made me wonder who initially hurt who to make them not be together.
He must have felt me, his eyes snapped over toward me. He sat up fast and straightened his posture as he snatched his hands out of my mom’s grasp like he had been caught doing something that he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
“Move Benita,” he said sharply, flicking his wrist.
My mom rolled her eyes then looked at the nail file.
“Don’t start all that funny shit now, Casper. Damn always?—”
“I said move! My baby is fucking crying!” His voice boomed.