25. Yeremy
Yeremy
Two weeks later
I came back to Cali and used the last of my money to get a hotel for a couple of days.
I found a nice two-bedroom condo downtown L.A.
Tomorrow was the day for me to see my new place that I had gotten approved for.
I felt good about myself and was over all the drama and hurt that took place before I up and left.
I planned on using my card later this week to pay my mom back all the money she gave me.
The main reason why I didn’t want to use my card was because I knew Casper would end up finding out where the hell I was.
My mom supporting my decision on leaving for a while to get my mind right meant a whole lot to me.
A day didn’t pass without her calling to check up on me.
Although she was just as worried as I imagined my father to be, she still offered words of encouragement.
I appreciated her so much because for once she had been there for me every step of the way.
I missed my dad and planned on going to see him today.
It was time for him and I to have a well overdo talk.
Things was starting to look up for me. I had a job interview next week at a hospital that would be close to my condo.
I mentally let go of Ramsey and took the whole situation with him and Bianca as a lesson learned.
It hurt like hell when I thought about it all.
How could people just do other’s dirty especially when I never even thought twice about hurting either one of them.
Ramsey and I shared something, that’s what I believed.
Once he was gone, all of his skeletons came falling out of the closet.
His betrayal echoed inside of me, it felt like a bruise to the heart that refused to fade away.
There is finality in death, Sol made sure of that with Ramsey.
But there was no finality in Ramsey’s and Bianca’s betrayal because it still lingered.
I didn’t want it to ruin me, ruin how I always gave others the benefit of the doubt.
With Bianca, I looked to her as a sister. She was always there like Shardae was.
We confided in each other, lifted ourselves whenever one was feeling down. I never imagined me and Bianca falling out, what she did was unforgivable. Bianca had built a life secretly behind my back. I couldn’t fathom being a fake bitch, sleeping with my best friend man and carrying kids by him.
I wanted to feel better about it and just let it the fuck go.
I had to forgive in order to push forward.
I even kept saying out loud at night as I laid in bed.
“I release.” Just so I could feel the heavy weight of it all lift off of me.
I didn’t want to stay stuck on it, I was ready to move pass it and live my life.
As far as Sol, I felt so much confliction.
My mind kept going back to the night that he stormed inside of my apartment.
The way he coldly killed Ramsey right in front of me.
It had to be deeper than what Casper revealed.
Today, I wanted to get all my questions answered from my dad and move forward to put it all behind me.
I just couldn’t help to wonder if Sol was really feeling me how he said he was.
I still felt a pull that made me feel shameful.
How would any of it work in our favor when we started off all wrong.
I was confused, hurt, but knew that I had to let him go.
Casper was right, there was no point in getting hurt all over again by another street thug.
Esmeralda stood outside Casper’s double doors with a huge smile on her face. I felt uneasy, didn’t know what his reaction would be once I walked through the doors. I had a lot to get off of my chest, and no matter what, I was going to make it clear that I was grown.
I tried to call my mom before I showed up here, but she didn’t answer the phone.
I wanted her here just for support. I spoke with Esmeralda then pushed past the heavy double doors.
Soon as I made it pass the foyer I stopped mid-step.
My dad sat on one of his overstuffed, white leather couches with my mom.
They were hugged up like teenagers in love.
Her hand was resting on his chest as his lips brushed her temple like he adored her.
I blinked my eyes rapidly to see if I was dreaming. My parents showing affection to one another out in the open wasn’t normal at all to me. They never hugged, kissed, or even smiled at each other like this in front of me.
“What the fuck?” I asked, barely above a whisper to myself.
My mom looked up first with relaxed eyes. She stood up, smoothed down her satin blouse, then smiled warmly at me.
“Hey, baby, your father and I decided to?—”
“Be as one, again.” He cut her off to finish her sentence.
I looked to him, expecting to see the usual smug look of disgust on his face. Instead of him even looking at me, his eyes was glued to her. He looked up at her like he meant every word he said.
“Bullshit.” I mumbled, still in shock.
“You always look at her and speak to her messed up. Now y’all playing house?” I spoke up eyeing them both.
“People change, Yeremy. Time sometime can soften things. We’ve both have done some soul searching?—”
“Casper has a soul?” I looked to her dully.
“Since when did he have a soul? Before or after he put a hit out on, Ramsey?” I cocked my head to the side.
“If you coming up in my house expecting an apology…you might as well turn the fuck around. It seems as though you need to walk the fuck back out anyway to restart your entrance. Don’t forget who the fuck you talking to, little girl.” He sat up coldly.
He snatched his Cigar from the glass ashtray on the coffee table. Without even acknowledging my mom, she quickly picked up his lighter and lit the end for him. Casper spread his legs out and puffed on his weed filled cigar, never blinking as he eyed me like he dared me to say anything else slick.
“I’m grown and?—”
“Act like it! I’ve been waiting for you to act grown for the longest.” He chuckled dryly.
“Casper, baby.” He snapped his fingers as his eyes cut over at my mom.
All she needed was a look from him that told her to shut up and let him lead. She took a seat next to him then laid her hand on top of his leg.
“You never gave me a chance,” I stated.
“I did, right after your graduation dinner. The same dinner you chose Ramsey over me at. You came home and packed your things to go be with a nigga?—”
“Casper, no need in going into all that…she’s back, we don’t want to?—”
“Don’t cut me off again, Benita.” He looked at her sternly.
He cleared his throat then looked over at my mom.
He noticed the sad look of defeat on her beautiful brown face.
I saw his eyes soften, he leaned in close to her and whispered something lowly into her ear.
I couldn’t even stand in front of them to be mad from the way my mom blushed and melted right into him.
He kissed her on the cheek then grabbed her chin to peck her lips.
She got up with a silly grin on her face and looked at me with a look of embarrassment.
“I’m going to start dinner for us,” she said lowly and walked off quickly.
Casper watched her until she disappeared down the hall. He sat his cigar back down into the ashtray then stood.
“I hope you don’t hurt her. She really loves you,” I stated lowly.
“I really love her too, I never stopped. We both never fought hard for each other. My pride got the best of me, and I realized my wrongs.”
“You hurt me, Daddy. Really, really bad.” I choked the words out.
He rose and stared at me like he saw the little girl that I used to be.
“I ain’t perfect, you know that more than anybody. That’s no excuse for the way that I try to control every aspect of your life. I went about things in a way that I knew would protect you.” He took stepped around the table and into my space.
“Ramsey was setting up some foul shit, baby girl.” He sighed.
“Foul shit like what? As far as Bianca…you could have just told me about it. It would have hurt, but—but he didn’t deserve to die,” I stated.
Ramsey was wrong, I knew a hundred percent that I would have left him for good if my father came to me about Ramsey and Bianca fucking behind my back.
“I’m trying to listen to your mom…protect your feelings more.
I’ve always been open and honest with you.
You say I have no soul when you are that for me.
You gave me life when I didn’t see life outside of the streets.
You the reason I have invested, cleaned my money…
I try to walk a better path because of you.
There’s just certain things that I can’t let slide, baby girl.
That nigga was going to have you kidnapped.
He was going to hold you for ransom through a third party while he pulled the strings to the puppet ass niggas that was going to take you.
No telling what them niggas would have done to you.
All because of greed. He saw you…you’re close to perfection.
Instead of him letting you be his peace…
he only saw all the money he could come off of.
You know I keep the gritty shit away from you.
But you’re not oblivious to how this shit works, baby.
He violated, so at the time there was no coming to you to explain it.
I took action. The only reason why that bitch Bianca made it this far is because I wanted her to think she had the last fucking laugh.
That bitch is resting in piss right along with him.
” The evil look in my dad’s eyes gave me the chills.
“Sol wasn’t supposed to look your way. But he did, he violated too.
I’ve been doing some thinking though. He really likes you, I just don’t want you trying to put the broken pieces to him together.
He’s still mourning his father and happened to find some sort of solace with you.
It’s understandable. I no longer want to control or block you from doing whatever it is that you want to do.
I see that you’re determined.” He chuckled.
Seconds later, he leaned down and placed his forehead against mine. My bottom lip trembled as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“You should have just killed Bianca right along with him,” I whispered, feeling all the hurt resurface.
“She knew about his plan,” I continued.
“Yeah, she knew. I made her admit by sucking my dick until she?—”
“Casper, ugh! Please!”
I stepped away from him and we both shared a laugh.
“She begged and cried her heart out. I told her she had a certain amount of time to tell you before the grim reaper himself showed up at her door. Time was up. I’m glad you got to whoop her ass before she got what she deserved.” He smirked satisfied.
“What about the kids?” I asked hating that I still had a heart for her.
“None of my concern, their alive and well.” He shrugged.
I nodded my head, swallowed the painful lump that formed in my throat. Casper reached out to gently wipe the tears that spilled down my face away. He brought me against his chest and held me tight.
“I bought a condo and got a job interview next week.” I blurted out.
“That’s good, no way you was gone lay up in my house and have sex with that nigga Sol under my roof.” His deep chuckle vibrated through his chest onto the side of my face.
“How do you know me and Sol will be a thing? I’m a little upset with him,” I admitted.
“Yeremy, when you get the chance…let that shit go. Sol did what he did as a favor for you. I doubt that he knew at that time that he was going to fall for you. I’m only saying this shit because I know you almost better than you know yourself.
I know that nigga too. He had determination in his eyes…
he was willing to go to war behind you with me.
He’s gonna come for you in due time. I won’t interfere anymore with whatever y’all got going on.
As long as he don’t hurt you…” He cleared his throat and waited for a couple a seconds before speaking.
“We good. Now let’s go in there with Benita.
She got on me about always shutting her out when it comes to you.
I’m happy she’s back in my life and I want to fight to make shit back right.
No more hoes and all the other bullshit that I’ve been on.
Ya momma fine as hell, she cook good, smell good, cater to me, and she fuck?—”
“Casper!” I gasped with a disgusted look on my face.
“Alright baby. Stop calling me Casper, now come on before I start talking about how sprung she got me.”