Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Carter
I’m not about to leave Eve alone in this state, so I give the driver my address. She leans against me in the backseat, mumbling to herself. All I can do is feel the weight of her body against mine. It’s a struggle to keep my hands to myself. I remind myself repeatedly that she’s drunk.
I hate that every time the vision of that beefy guy at the bar kissing her flashes in my head, my gut twists into a painful knot.
This entire situation is impossible.
I went to the bar tonight hoping to let off a little steam. When I saw Eve sitting alone at the end of the bar, I almost turned and walked out. We needed to keep our distance from each other. I needed to exercise some willpower and stay away from her. Instead of walking out, I stayed to try to prove to myself that we could exist in the same space.
I’d come so close to leaving. Now, I’m glad I didn’t.
Who knows what might have happened to her, if I hadn’t stayed? The very thought of something happening to Eve makes me shudder with fear.
Her head is on my shoulder but I don’t move it as we travel the few final blocks to my place. It feels nice. I’m tempted to put my arm around her and pull her close, it would feel so natural, so right.
But I don’t. I must remain stoic and strong.
I sit awkwardly stiff and count the blocks, willing my body to cooperate. Up till now, my body has reacted instantly upon contact with her. I expect nothing different. It’s not like my cock knows she's drunk and off-limits. I am hoping it will catch on eventually.
I pull her from the car and up to my front door, trying to ignore her weak protests.
“Why are you bringing me here?”
“I don’t want you home alone,” I say. “You can sleep on the couch.”
I don’t want there to be any confusion, even though my suggestion may sound harsh to her.
“Yeah, wouldn’t want me to think you were interested in me or anything,” she mumbles, as she walks through my front door.
Why does she have to be so difficult? She’s absolutely infuriating. She knows I can’t do anything and she’s freaking mad at me about it? I can’t win.
I watch as she melts into my couch. Eve looks up at me and smiles and I swear, it feels like a lightning bolt strikes my heart. She is so damned pretty, it’s almost painful.
The unfairness of all of this strikes me hard. How can we want each other so badly and be forced to keep away from one another?
I’m struck by the thought that keeps running through my head again. If Eve was anyone else, I’d just date her. Maybe we could work it out with the university somehow. But there were so many other obstacles in the way. She’s young. She’s Aiden’s sister. My mother would lose her shit. And Eve’s father… he sounds like he’s not exactly a barrel of laughs.
Denying myself something I want so badly is not easy. Despite my urge to rip her clothes off and give into the painful yearning, which I know I can’t do, I still want to be close to her.
“Why am I here, Carter?” Eve asks softly. “You could’ve just dropped me off at home. I really don’t understand you.”
I know my insistence on space hurts her. I want to pull her into my arms and apologize. I want to kiss away every ounce of pain I’ve caused and then some. I want to show her — with my lips, my hands, my body — just how much I want her.
I want her to know how much my decision hurts me so much more than it hurts her.
Instead, I watch her bite her lip and look up at me with her seductive eyes, decimating every ounce of restraint I have left.
“It’s not fair,” she whispers, pouting.
“What?”
“For us to want each other so badly, and not get to be with each other.” Her words hang heavy in the air between us. It’s a simple sentence that I was just thinking, but somehow, at the same time, it’s a complicated dare.
She reaches up and presses her palm to my cheek. I come undone at her touch.
My lips are on hers in a flash and we’re kissing like teenagers. The heat between us swells like a soaring wave of pent-up desire that’s finally unleashed, strong and powerful and dangerous.
I kiss Eve with all that I have. All the emotion I’ve been bottling up surges forth, intense and sudden. She gasps at my passion but I keep going, pushing her back gently onto the couch, my head spinning as I try to determine just when and where I should stop.
Stopping seems impossible.
Her arms wrap around me as she opens her mouth to mine, the warmth of her body washing over me as our bodies melt together. We rip each other’s clothes off, impatient. I want to stop and savor the moment of her gorgeous body, nude before me. But I’m driven by lust for this girl that’s been teasing me for so damn long. I spread her thighs and position myself between her legs, unable to think clearly.
All my brain power has gone to my throbbing cock.
Eve moans into my mouth when my cock touches her center. But suddenly, her eyes fly open and her body tenses.
Shit . I realize that maybe I’ve gone too far, too fast. I pull myself from her lips, slowly pushing off of her and looking down at her.
“Are you okay?” I ask, the words ripping from my throat like razor blades.
“Yeah,” she nods, her eyes shining up at mine. “Maybe some water?”
“Of course,” I say, scrambling off of her and heading to the kitchen.
My head spins. Am I a fool? Did I go too far? My god, she’s drunk.
I need to take her some water, get her a blanket and a pillow, and apologize for my bullshit. Then I need to tuck her in for the night, go into my bedroom, and masturbate furiously for as long as it takes to get the feeling of being naked and laying between her legs out of my damn head.
I’ve decided my fate as I head back to the living room, water glass in hand, ready to deliver my speech. But as I gaze down at her sleeping face, angelic and peaceful in her drunken state, I’m grateful for the fact that it’s not necessary.
I grab a pillow and blanket from my room and gently raise her head to put it underneath before laying the blanket over her body. I pull her shoes off and stand over her, drinking in her beauty. Watching her sleep does something to me, touches something deep inside of me that I’ve been doing my best to ignore for days.
I’m falling in love with Eve. I see that now. And as much as that fact scares the hell out of me, it excites me.
I’m not sure which emotion will be the one that ruins me, but we’ll see, I guess.
I lean down, kissing her forehead gently, before heading to my room.