Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Eve
The bright morning sunlight beams through my kitchen. I’m sitting at the kitchen table, my biology textbook open, an obscenely large cup of coffee steaming next to it, and my mind frantically trying to focus for more than three fleeting minutes at a time.
My eyes drift out to the backyard for the millionth time this morning, and my thoughts drift away from the subject at hand with my gaze.
It’s impossible to think.
Well, impossible to think about anything except Carter, that is. My mind seems to find that particular subject quite easy to concentrate on, much to my dismay.
The words on the pages of my textbook have been swimming in a gushy mess of incoherent soup for the last hour.
I decide I’m doomed to fail and push the book away, giving up for a few minutes to give myself a pep talk. When my phone buzzes next to me, my heart skips a beat. The thought that it might be Carter gives me a rush of hope.
Stupid hope. I told him to leave me alone. He’s doing exactly that. I need to get over it already.
With a sigh on my lips, I pick up the phone to see that it’s my father reaching out.
“Hi Dad,” I say.
Dad launches straight into his stern lecture without any preamble. “How are your grades?”
Is he psychic? I groan out loud, knowing any semblance of peace has gone out the window. How can I live like this forever, with his constant helicopter parenting and threats? I can’t even breathe without him questioning it.
“Fine.” My reply is curt, but comes with an unhealthy dose of anxiety.
I push the kitten from my keyboard where she's decided to take a nap and pull up my email account and immediately begin downloading the financial aid forms the office needs from me to get things rolling. It’s unnerving and sends my panic into overdrive. Just the thought of defying my father is enough to send me into a fit of hyperventilating.
Staring at the forms, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread. If my father finds out what I’m doing, he’ll come straight to my home and take my head off.
Not literally, of course.
But he won’t hesitate to pull the rug out from under me in whatever way he can.
My only hope is to get all of my ducks in a row and find stable footing before he finds out what I’ve done.
I sigh and pull the book close again. I won’t get the financial aid if I’m not passing my classes, and the fact remains that I’m struggling academically. I need to step it up if I’m ever going to achieve my dreams.
An hour later, a knock at my door surprises me.
I open it to find Carter standing there with a tiny little toy in his outstretched hand.
“Hi,” I say, slowly, my voice displaying my clear confusion to seeing him standing there. Had I conjured him up?
“I just came by with a peace offering.”
I raise a brow, looking at the tiny felt toy that appears to be in the shape of a mouse.
“It’s filled with catnip,” he says.
“Oh!” I exclaim, understanding dawning on me. I throw open the door to welcome him in and he steps in with a gingerly smile.
“Valentine is asleep on the couch,” I say.
“Valentine?”
“The kitten? I’m assuming that toy is for her.”
“Yes, it is,” he admits, with a sheepish shrug. “Or, maybe the toy is just an excuse.”
“An excuse? For what?”
“To see you. To apologize for being so harsh.”
“Do you want to make it up to me?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest.
Part of me can’t believe he’s here. Part of me is desperate for him to stay. I’m terrified that if we talk about ‘us’, he’ll be out the door too fast for us to make any kind of progress.
“Uh, sure?” he asks, with a raised brow.
“Help me study?” I ask, with a sheepish grin, as I gesture towards the open textbook on my kitchen table. “I’m drowning.”
His smile widens and he nods. I swear I see a twinge of relief in his eyes.
“That I can do!” He announces.
“Coffee?” I offer.
“Yes, I’d love some.”
I set about pouring a cup for him. He strolls over to the couch and starts playing with Valentine. She loves her toy and takes to it immediately. After a few seconds, he heads over to the table and gazes down at the book before sitting down. If you’d told me fifteen minutes ago that Carter would be sitting in the morning sunlight I was just daydreaming in, I’d have laughed.
But I play it cool. I walk to the table with a steaming mug and place it down on the table in front of him like my heart is beating perfectly normal, not the crazy pitter pattering of dance of excitement that’s really occurring.
When I stand back up, I inhale the scent of him deeply.
Minty shampoo and some sort of sandalwood cologne. I remember it from before, when he was on top of me on his couch, his hands everywhere, his hair falling over my face as he kissed me….
The image threatens to throw off my casual demeanor, and I almost stumble over my feet.
I swallow hard, determined to remain nonchalant as I struggle to make it to my seat.
“So, tell me where you’re getting tripped up,” he says.
I laugh and shake my head.
“Everywhere?” I admit.
“I got you,” he says, his voice oozing like molasses on my sugar-starved brain. I actually believe him. Something inside of me opens up when he smiles at me, like he believes in me, like I could do anything, just because he believes in me.
I shake my head as we dive in, determined to focus. We go chapter by chapter, meticulously reviewing the covered information together.
Carter is patient. Kind. Communicative.
He’s a wonderful teacher. He goes slow, pays attention, listens.
He makes sure I truly understand before moving on to the next section. When I ask him to repeat himself over and over, he patiently does so without judgement.
I can’t help but look at his hands. Noticing the way his eyes flash with excitement as the knowledge he’s trying to pass on lights a bulb in my head. The way his lips form each and every word with such precise movement.
I try not to squirm as Carter explains the basics of cellular biology to me. I’m wetter than I’ve ever been by the time we’re done. I feel like we just made out for hours.
I bite my lip, looking over at him as he closes the book. My thoughts are swirling, my emotions are off the charts, and breathing seems to be impossible.
I was already wildly attracted to Carter, but I’ve now apparently fallen madly in lust with his brain. I have half a mind to feign ignorance, just to hear him talk again.
But he’s done such a fucking great job that I actually feel confident that I understand everything perfectly.
He stares back at me, our gazes locked, the electricity flowing between us so strongly you can almost hear it crackling.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“It’s my pleasure,” he whispers back.
I nod, my gaze flickers down to his lips and quickly back up to his eyes.
“Am I forgiven now?”
His question lands between us and I scoff, shaking my head.
“You didn’t do anything wrong that needs forgiving. You were only trying to save us both.”
His eyes narrow at my words. I reach out and let my fingers fall over his hand on the table. Slowly, I move my thumb, caressing his hand. The tiniest movement. When he captures my thumb with his, I gasp. He presses down, then turns his hand and clasps mine in his, bringing my open palm to his mouth.
He presses his lips into my palm and I gasp.
It’s so sweetly tender and sensual that it steals my breath away.
Carter’s eyes look up at me, a question, a yearning… His lips move against my skin, the intimacy of his lips on my palm feeling almost intrusively personal. I shudder in my seat, the butterflies in my stomach going crazy.
It’s too much.
As much as I want Carter to touch me, it’s too much, too soon. I pull my hand away and quickly rise, taking a few steps into the kitchen, away from the table. I struggle to catch my breath, my mind reeling.
What just happened? What did that mean?
I have nothing but questions and a heart thundering like a racehorse in my chest when I turn back to him. He’s right there, silently having closed the distance I’d so purposefully put between us without me realizing it.
Carter’s arms wrap around me and pull me close. I take a step forward, letting them engulf me, letting them block out all thoughts. Our being together is wrong. But it feels so damned good.
“Eve,” he whispers. My eyes rise to meet his. “I can’t fucking resist you.”
He bends his head, his lips falling on mine like light snow, delicate yet piercing.
The thoughts that have been storming through my head for days threaten to break down the walls that I’ve shut them behind. I open my mouth, welcoming Carter in further, deeper. He responds so naturally, his tongue darting past my lips and finding my own.
His warmth is overwhelming, and I lose myself in his embrace. His kiss is tender, searching, and delicate.
Until it's not.
The pent up desire smoldering between us finally erupts into a growing flame that flickers with life. It builds into a roaring inferno that surprises me with its force.
His kiss turns hard, hungry. His hands run up and down the side of my torso, dancing over my curves and gripping at my hips. He pulls me closer. His cock, hard and throbbing, presses against my thigh.
The feel of Carter next to me, kissing me like this, is pure heaven. I moan and press into him, meeting the intensity of his kiss, my own desire bubbling up inside of me.
The fleeting wonder of what’s changed in Carter’s mind to allow this flashes in my head, but I push it away. It can wait.
Answers later.
Sex now.
I moan into his mouth, lost in the deliciousness of his kiss, in the thrill of getting what I’d wanted for so long.
I grab his hand, then break the kiss. He looks surprised until I turn and pull him towards the couch. I push him down gently, then straddle him and bend my head to kiss him again.
His tongue glides against mine smoothly, his lips soft and warm. When I feel his hands tugging at the hem of my t-shirt, I boldly lean back and pull it over my head, exposing my bare breasts.
Carter’s eyes dilate with pleasure, sending a shock of electricity through my veins.
“Eve, you’re so fucking beautiful. My god,” he whispers. Heat rises in my cheeks, and I find his mouth again as his hands find my breasts. He palms them a few seconds before gently pinching my nipples, drawing gasps of pleasure from my lungs.
His cock twitches against my center. The roughness of his jeans against my pajama bottoms is a welcome harshness and my clit throbs at the pressure.
His hands, gripping my hips, pushes down, increasing the friction between our bodies.
“Oh, god,” I gasp, shaking my head as I break the kiss. My eyes search his and I see nothing but a storm of desire brewing there.
My hands run over his muscular shoulders, sliding down to his hard biceps and back up. The morning light is falling on his face and I drink in the sight of him, determined to remember this first time forever.
I never expected it to be something that happened first thing in the morning before I’d even had a chance to get dressed, but I didn’t care.
It was Carter. It was exactly what I wanted.
“I can’t believe we’re finally —”
The buzz of my phone interrupts me. I start to shake my head, but Carter reaches for the phone before I can protest and hands it to me.
It’s my father calling.
“Ignore him,” I said, putting the phone down and shaking my head. I begin to kiss Carter again and the phone beeps again. And again. And again.
Not only has he called, but he’s sent a few texts.
I checked in with the monitor at school. You’ve lied to me, Eve! I’m very disappointed. You know what this means.
Why aren’t you picking up?
I need you to call me immediately, Eve Marie!
I groan at the sight of them. Why does my father have to ruin everything that’s good in my life? Why can’t he just let me be an adult and leave me alone? Why all the threats and fear? Why does it make him so good to ruin my day, every fucking day of my life?
“Everything okay?” Carter looks genuinely worried.
“Yes. No. I don’t know,” I say. “Not really, I guess.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Now?” I ask, my voice rising an octave.
“You’re crying, Eve.”
“What?” I ask, my hand shooting up to my cheeks and finding them wet. I’m mortified. “God, yes, I’m fine. Sorry.”
“Talk to me,” Carter urges, wrapping his arms around me. I let my head fall on his shoulder and I can’t believe how amazing it feels.
It’s…comforting. I sigh, relishing in the feel of his tenderness.
“My dad wants to control my life. He’s monitoring every test, every grade I receive in each of my classes.”
“Oh, that’s why I have to send in that report. I thought it had something to do with a scholarship or something.”
“No, just my overbearing father.”
“Well, that sucks.”
“I failed a test. Well, just a small pop quiz, actually. But I lied to him about it and he apparently found out. He’s probably about to pop a vein in his forehead because I’m not picking up the phone right now.”
“I see,” he says. He tightens his embrace and keeps his voice low. “That must be so hard for you.”
“It is!” I agree. “I’m looking into alternate funding so I can untangle myself from him.”
“That’s very brave of you. And smart.”
“Thanks,’ I say, with a sigh. Just having someone listen to me is such a relief. Carter kisses the top of my head and we stay like that for a few minutes before he gently untangles himself.
“I’m going to go. I think it’s obvious this isn’t the right time for this to happen. I certainly don’t want you thinking of your father while we’re making out.”
I roll my eyes and add another entry to the list of reasons to hate my father.
I walk Carter to the door with a heavy heart. I feel like I’ve been on a fucking roller-coaster. Saying goodbye to him and watching him get in his car and drive away is excruciating.
We came so close.
So fucking close.
I close the door, hating my life.