Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
Holden
Five years ago…
“Dorsey! Get your head in the fucking game or get off the field!” Coach shouted at me from the sidelines.
It was only a practice, but still… I could feel how right he was.
I hated this field.
I hated this game.
And other than Duncan, I hated my teammates.
“You know what, Coach? You’re right.” I tore the helmet from my head and started for the locker rooms.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Coach yelled, footsteps stomping in the grass behind me.
“Taking orders. I can’t get my fucking head in the game… and I don’t think I will ever again. So I’m getting off the field.”
“Dorsey, I swear to fucking God if you walk off this field right now, you’re done. I’m not covering for you again! I don’t care how much your daddy donates to the school. You’re fucking finished.”
“I’ll do you one better,” I muttered, then lifted my hand high in the air, flashing him the middle finger.
There. That should do it. Pretty much a nail in the coffin of my football career.
I shower fast and get dressed even faster, clearing out my locker and shoving as much as I can into my duffel bag.
Good riddance.
Football was something I’d been pressured into from a young age.
A hobby my dad forced on me because it was what he did.
And it looked good.
It looked all-American for a senator to go to his son’s football game every weekend. The photo ops were what mattered. Cute pictures in the local papers of him and Mom holding hotdogs and cheering in the stands.
But none of it was real.
Not a goddamned minute.
I had every intention of going straight home to lick my wounds.
Until I saw Katherine.
She was walking down the sidewalk with her roommate Jill and a few other people from our Method Acting class, including Nate.
Fucking Nate. Who was hovering right behind her, his eyes glued to her ass.
Not that I could blame him. It was a damn fine ass… but it was my ass.
I jerked the wheel of my truck into the first spot I found and watched as their group ducked into a pub on Main Street.
I shouldn’t follow her. I shouldn’t spy.
And yet, my body seemed to have a mind of its own and I found myself entering the pub and silently slipping into the first stool at the end of the bar, ducking my head down so that they couldn’t see me where they were all gathered in the back corner by the pool tables.
Unsurprisingly, Katherine looked fucking stunning in a shimmery green dress that caught the light every time she moved. The girl could wear a garbage bag and still be the most gorgeous creature in any room.
A pang of jealousy twisted in my chest as Nate leaned in and whispered something that made Katherine throw her head back in laughter.
I ordered a whiskey and sank lower in my stool, not wanting my classmates to notice me.
But I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
Something had changed in her since that audition in New York. She wasn’t so carefree and innocent. There was a new spark; a naughty glint to her eye and an extra sway to her hips. The lightness in her step was gone and even though she looked happy, I could see the dark cloud looming beneath the surface.
I lived in those clouds for fucking years. It was an existence I knew all too well, I realized with a sinking feeling.
Beside me, a pint glass slammed down onto a coaster and I jumped as Keith plopped into the next stool over.
“Keith,” I said, surprised.
Jesus, I knew this was a small college town, but was there nowhere else to get drunk on a Thursday night?
“Holden,” he said, my name slurred in a slight way that told me he was bad at handling his alcohol.
“Hey,” I said, giving the bartender a nod as he slid a double pour of whiskey over to me.
The scent of aged whiskey filled my nose, bringing with it a warm and comforting aroma. It smelled like home; like fireplaces and leather armchairs…
And Mom.
“Sorry to hear about Remy and Julie,” I said to him. “You deserved better than that.”
He stared morosely into his glass before finally looking up at me with glassy eyes. “Yeah. But you know what they say… when you lie down with dogs, you get fucking rabies.”
I exhaled a quiet laugh and shook my head. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how that saying goes.”
Keith was silent for a long moment before he sighed into his beer. “She told me about your dad.”
“Fuck,” I hissed with a shake of my head. It was one thing to break up with the guy. But to sabotage his show and tell him the gritty details of your affair? That was fucked up on a whole other level.
The golden liquid sloshed in the glass as I lifted it to my lips, the amber color catching the dim lights of the bar.
I threw back the double shot, the whiskey burning as it slid down my throat. A mix of sweet and smoky flavors danced on my tongue and I winced as the burning heat melted into a pleasant warmth, spreading through my chest.
I gestured at the bartender for another. “I’m sorry, man. You could retaliate, you know? Go to the dean; tell him how McCay sleeps with her TAs.”
Keith shook his head, hands clutching the sweating pint glass. “If I do that, then I risk not graduating. My entire three years of grad school and grades I’ve received from her would be called into question.”
I snorted. “A fact that, I’m sure McCay made sure you knew,” I muttered more to myself than to Keith.
“At least this way, I’ve been assigned a new advisor and I can still graduate on time. The showcase you guys did last semester counted as my final thesis.”
“Well thank God for that,” I said just as the bartender slid me another drink. Grabbing my whiskey, I held it up toward Keith. “To Remy and Julie,” I said. “And to the best new playwright this world will ever see.”
Across the bar, the sound of Katherine’s laugh caught my attention and I looked over just in time to see Nate lifting her up and twirling her around. The margarita in her hand sloshed over the rim of her glass, dripping over her knuckles.
“Well that’s a new development,” Keith said, quietly eyeing me.
“Is it? Nate has liked her all fucking year,” I grumbled bitterly.
“Sure,” Keith said. “But she hasn’t exactly liked him back. Besides, I was talking about her drinking.”
I clutched my second whiskey glass, the cool condensation making it slippery. “She’s been drunk before,” I admitted. “Also with Nate. Believe it or not, between him and me, I think I’m the better influence.”
Keith chuckled. “Wow. That’s saying something.”
“He just pretends to be innocent a whole lot better than I do.”
“And yet…” Keith said, leaning back in his stool with a stretch. “You’re the better actor.”
“So people keep telling me.”
“Trust me, Holden. It’s my seventh year at this school. I’ve seen a lot of people come and go within this prestigious department. You and Kate? You’re both the real deal. You could make it.”
“Kate’s the real deal,” I nodded a confirmation. “Jury’s still out on me.”
“If I had to guess which one of you would make it? It would be you, Holden.”
I snapped my gaze to him, confused. “You just said she’s talented ? —”
“She absolutely has the talent,” Keith said, his eyes skimming over the crowd to where she was now dancing with Jill. “But it takes more than that. It’s expensive to pursue your creative dreams. It takes a certain level of privilege to even be able to try.”
I snorted and scrubbed my hands over my face, this time sipping my whiskey, not shooting it. “Great. So because I’m born into wealth, I have a better chance at making it than her?”
Keith shrugged. “Isn’t that true about all things?” We were silent for another long moment before Keith added, “I heard last week that she was moving out of her dorms. She couldn’t afford the cost of them or something.”
Well that woke me up from my stupor. “What?”
Keith nodded. “Before Laurie and I… before I moved advisors, we got a change of address notification on her paperwork for the semester. She has to move next week.”
With a swift motion, I pushed the stool back and retrieved a handful of bills from my wallet, causing Keith to jump.
“Where are you going?”
I tossed the cash onto the bar and finished my whiskey in a few quick gulps. “She’s not fucking moving. Not on my watch.”
Keith grabbed my sleeve as I turned to leave. “I don’t know either of you super well, but I can tell you for certain that Kate doesn’t like charity.”
“I don’t fucking care. She’s not moving into the shitty dorms on the other end of the campus. Not on my watch.”
I tugged my arm free from his grasp, shrugging him off.
My gaze lifted to Katherine’s and for the first time all night, her eyes met mine.
The silly smile she sported dissolved faster than a single grain of sugar in a steaming cup of coffee and her cheeks flushed pink.
There she is.
The real Katherine.
The woman I’ve fallen in love with.
Before leaving, I stalked across the bar, pushing people out of my way until I was standing right in front of her.
“Holden,” she gasped. “What… what are you doing?”
My arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, her body leaning into mine as she melted into my embrace. Her eyelashes fluttered against her flushed cheeks as she looked up at me, her lips parted in surprise.
“This.”
I clutched her to me, crashing my lips onto hers in a fierce embrace; a collision of lips and limbs. In that moment, I didn’t care that our entire class was there to witness it. I didn’t care that she came to the bar with Nate.
Right now, for one second more… she was mine.
Her lips tasted like fruit and citrus, a combination of her cherry lip gloss and the margarita clutched in her free hand.
She let out a soft whimper as I deepened the kiss, the sound sending shivers down my spine and heating my blood, drowning out the noise of the bar around us.
Her body was soft and pliant against mine, her lips warm and yielding beneath mine. My fingers dug into her waist, feeling the subtle curve of her body as her hands fell to my chest, gripping my shirt.
The kiss ended, leaving us both panting and aching for more.
“Holden,” she whispered, dizzy with lust.
But without another word, I released her and turned, walking out of the bar.
After tomorrow, she’ll probably never speak to me again.