Chapter 25
CHAPTER 25
The bright bulbs lining my dressing room mirror warm my face as I stare at my reflection. “You know I’m going to be wearing a wig for the show, right?”
Jill freezes where she holds the hot barrel of the curling iron. “Does your character have to be a brunette or something?”
I shake my head no. “No. She could have any hair color I think.”
Tilting her head, Jill looks at the clock on the wall. It’s almost seven p.m., but I’ve been here since four with Jill because I’m such a nervous wreck today.
Our show opens in just over an hour.
In about an hour, we’ll either be a smash hit…
Or I’ll be unemployed once again.
“Then why can’t you just use your own hair?”
“Almost no one on Broadway uses their own hair,” I answer with a shrug. “It’s just kind of how it’s always been done.”
“But that’s so stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. Think about it… everyone’s hair is different. Mine might go flat by intermission, but a wig’s styling will last for days.”
“Or mine would frizz out and become a total puff ball by the end,” Jill grumbles, pausing to lean over my shoulder and inspect her fiery red corkscrew curls in the mirror.
“Don’t you start with me.” I reach up and tug on the ends of one of her curls, smiling at her reflection as it bounces back into her jaw when I release it. “I know a dozen women who would kill to have your hair.”
“Oh please,” she rolls her eyes and goes back to curling my hair.
“I’m serious!” I try to pull away from her styling, but she gently pins me back down in my chair by the shoulders.
“I know. And I’m seriously going to burn you if you don’t sit still!”
“Why are we doing this if I’m in a wig for tonight?”
“Because. After the show, your wig will come off and you’re going to want to look pretty for all those pictures.”
I smile at my best friend and sit still despite the nervous jitters buzzing through my veins.
“You’re coming tonight, right?” I ask.
She nods, twisting my hair around the barrel of the iron. “Nolan and I are seeing it together.”
I battle to smother my smile and lose. “You and Nolan, huh? Again?”
She grabs a bobby pin from the pile on the table and starts pinning my curls so that they’ll fit comfortably beneath my wig. “He’s actually helping me with a script I’m writing.”
I spin around to face my best friend. “I didn’t know you were writing a play!”
She gives me a humble shrug but won’t meet my eyes. “It’s very premature.”
“But you’ll let me read it?”
After a pause, she finally looks at me. “Eventually. What about Megan and Jamie? Are they coming to see the show tonight?”
It’s my turn to give an evasive shrug. “They were supposed to, but I don’t think Holden has heard from Megan since that article went live.”
“Actually… I have.”
I gasp and my head whips towards the doorway of my dressing room where Holden is standing with red-rimmed eyes, messy hair, and a five o'clock shadow dusting his jaw.”They’re not coming,” he says, raking his fingers through his hair.
Jill clears her throat and quickly gathers her bag from the chair beside me. She gives me a quick hug. “Break legs tonight,” she whispers. “I’ll see you after.” On her way out the door, she pauses to kiss Holden on the cheek. “You, too.”
Once she’s gone, I get up and shut the door behind her. “What’s going on?”
Holden slumps into my makeup chair, wiping his palm down his weary face. “She just said she needed to rethink this whole blended family thing. That she and Jamie were doing just fine without us.”
There was a time I thought the same thing about myself and Holden; that I didn’t need him; that I was just fine without him. If Holden didn’t look so tortured at the moment, I might have even laughed, it was so painfully true.
We lapse into a tense silence. There’s nothing I can say to comfort him and there’s nothing he can say that will change his situation.
Instead, I cross over to Holden and sink into his lap, trailing my fingers gently through his silky hair.
He regards me silently, his eyes, dark pools of amber.
Around Holden, this kind of silence is dangerous.
This kind of silence relaxes my defenses.
It makes me see the vulnerability shining in his eyes rather than hearing his excuses.
It makes me lose my mind…
and my clothes.
Nervously, I wet my lips and his eyes immediately track the motion of my tongue across my bottom lip.
Tipping forward, he presses his nose to the base of my jaw and inhales slowly. “Want to play a game?” he whispers into my neck.
Not trusting my voice just yet, I simply nod.
“You have to answer no to all my questions,” he whispers, his voice rumbly and soft.
“Only if you answer yes to mine,” I counter, our words a parallel to the same game from college. Only this encounter is laden with even more tension and opportunity.
I shift my body so that I’m straddling him, bringing us nose to nose. Even though the game hasn’t even started, I can feel how hard he is pressing against my wet core.
“Will you come home with me tonight after the show?”
My smile fades a little.
I had hoped to go home with him tonight.
We haven’t spent a night together since I’ve been back from my father’s funeral. And I hadn’t ever been inside his apartment.
But I follow the rules of the game and shake my head slowly. “No.”
Then, a slow smile spreads along my face as I realize his wording. “Will you come spend the night at my place tonight after the show?”
“Yes,” he whispers. “Did you wear this slip of a dress just to tease me?” His hands grasp my ribcage, gathering the delicate silk in his fists.
“No,” I lie. “Will you take my dress off for me?” I lift my arms over my head as he tugs it off of me, the soft material kissing my skin.
He tosses my dress to the side and groans, pulling back to examine me. “God, you are stunning.”
“That’s not a question.”
Holden leans forward until his mouth is brushing against my lips as he speaks. “Can I put my mouth all over your body? Sink my tongue between the sweet heaven of your thighs?”
I whimper, unable to give him the answer I want. Clad only in my bra and panties, I wriggle in his lap. “Holden,” I moan.
“Say it,” he commands.
A sigh ripples out of me as I answer, “No.”
“Can I lay you out on this table and make love to you?” he asks.
I shake my head no at the same time that I answer him.
I’m so turned on, I’m practically vibrating with need. “Holden, please, ” I beg.
“Just a couple more,” he coos and nips my ear. “Do you love me?”
I gasp and pull away to look into his eyes.
But he simply stares me down, challenging me to cheat on our game. “Holden, don’t?—”
“Answer the question, Katherine. Do you love me?”
“N-no.” I force the lie from my mouth and it rolls over my tongue like acid.
He inhales nervously, unshed tears shining in his eyes. “Do you forgive me?”
It isn’t until I feel him lift his thumbs to my cheeks that I realize I’m crying. Holden's hands are gentle as they cup my face, his warm thumbs brushing away my tears.
“Do you forgive me, Katherine?” Holden's voice is thick with emotion, his words heavy with a mix of desperation and vulnerability as he asks his question.
“No,” I sob.
Through the haze of tears blurring my vision, I can barely make out Holden's face as he stares at me with intense eyes, his throat bobbing with a tightness that matches the vein pulsing at the base.
“Last question,” he says. “And this one you can answer either yes or no.” I watch as he pauses to swallow, the bobbing of his throat tightening and a vein pushes out at the base.
“Were any of those answers you gave me a lie?”
My heart, that wild and untamed creature, gallops fiercely against my ribs, its hooves pounding with the force of a stampede.
As Holden's questions pierce through the air, my chest constricts, squeezing the very breath from my lungs. I am trapped in this moment, held captive by my own racing heart and the weight of my lies.
A sharp pain shoots through my chest and my heart thunders in my ears, drowning out all other sounds as I struggle to catch my breath. The silence between Holden's words is deafening, making my heartbeat seem even louder.
My mouth is dry from crying, with a metallic taste lingering from the saltiness of my tears.
“Yes,” I answer honestly for the first time. “I forgive you. I forgive you, Holden.”
Our bodies collide, drawn together like magnets and I anchor my hands behind his neck as our mouths crash together like waves against the shore in a frenzied, wild kiss. The scent of sweat, tears, and desperate longing swirls around us, a heady mix that engulfs us as he parts my lips with his tongue and delves inside sending sparks of pleasure rippling in my core.
“I love you,” he whispers against my mouth.
“I love you, too, Holden. I have since the moment I met you.”
“On some level, I always knew you were it for me. And it fucking terrified me,” he admits between each fevered kiss.
Holden's confession sends a shiver down my spine, the weight of his words as heavy as his body pressing against mine.
His fingers delve into my hair, gripping tightly as if he's afraid to let go. I mirror his actions, my nails digging into his back, feeling the outline of his hard muscles underneath his skin.
"I need you, Katherine. I need you now," he growls into my ear before trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck. The sensation of his warm breath on my heated skin sends shivers down my spine and I arch my back, silently begging for more.
Without breaking the contact of our mouths, Holden reaches down, tugging my panties to the side and revealing my slick slit to the cool air. Heat pools between my legs as he releases my lips and treats my neck to a feast of soft bites and kisses, sending me into a frenzy.
"Holden," I moaned, eyes closed in ecstasy as he makes his way down to my collarbone. "Holden... please."
His hands are everywhere at once, expertly undoing the clasps of my bra while still managing to tease every sensitive spot on my neck and collarbone with his tongue.
The lace of my bra releases and falls to the floor, exposing my trembling body to his heated gaze.
"You're so beautiful," he whispers reverently, as if I am a masterpiece he can't believe is real. His fingertips dance along my collarbone and downward, tracing the contours of my body with such delicate precision that I arch towards him shamelessly.
"Shh," Holden soothes, lifting me up and carrying me to the counter. My back crashes against the chilled surface of the mirror behind me, the coolness a stark contrast to the fire he ignites within me. He tugs my panties off slowly, discarding them carelessly on the floor.
He kisses his way down to my breasts before sucking hungrily at one nipple, causing electrical sparks to shoot straight to my core, leaving me gasping for air. His warm mouth trails down to my stomach.
Gently, he spreads my legs apart, and I feel his hot breath on my swollen folds. "Holden," I gasp.
He looks up at me with a wicked grin before sliding his tongue inside my wet entrance.
"Oh God," I cry out, my back arching off the countertop when his skilled tongue finds my clit. Holden moans against me. He takes his time, savoring the taste of my arousal, teasing me with every lick and flick as the pleasure tightens and cords in my body like a rope tightening around my organs.
I gasp for air, my breath quickening and I clutch his hair between my fingers, steadying myself as my thighs tremble uncontrollably.
With every slick glide of his tongue, and every hot breath against her skin, my mind drifts more and more, going blank. There's nothing but Holden now; nothing but Holden… forever.
Finally sinking between my legs, he thrusts two fingers deep inside of me, and my body responds by clenching around his knuckles. His eyes latching onto mine, watching me as I moan.
I want him.
I want him inside of me more than I want my next breath.
Glancing down, I can see how hard he is, straining against his pants. I reach down, pulling Holden up to me, our bodies colliding in a passionate kiss. The dizzying taste of my own arousal mixed with Holden makes my head spin, and I can feel the desire coursing through my veins.
I wrap my fingers around his cock, giving him a firm squeeze that forces a grunt from the back of his throat.
Pulling back from the kiss, we stay nose to nose, his amber eyes watching me with unnerving focus. Without breaking eye contact, I reach down and unzip his pants. They fall away silently to the floor as I slide my fingers into the elastic of his boxer briefs and slowly pull them down his legs. Heat pools between my thighs as his cock springs free, revealing how thick and veined and engorged he is; a testament to his desire for me.
I slide my fingers around the base of his shaft, giving him a firm squeeze. His hips jerk forward, and he groans out my name.
His eyes lock onto mine, darkened with lust and desire. He guides the swollen, glistening head toward me, positioning himself at my entrance. With agonizing slowness, he teases me with the tip before plunging inside. A moan escapes my lips and I’m unable to form a coherent word as he fills me inch by glorious inch.
I whimper, arching into him and the world melts away as our hips collide in a rhythm that sends ripples of pleasure through me. The rustling of fabric fills the air as he pulls his clothes off completely, tugging his shirt overhead; the barest whisper of sound mixes with our heavy breaths and moans.
Sweat sheens on our skin as Holden's hands grasp my hips roughly, guiding me into every thrust. His breath ghosts over my earlobe as he nibbles on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.
"Harder," I pant, craving more of this delicious friction. He obliges without hesitation, driving into me so hard that the back of my head slams against the mirror behind me in time with our urgent pace.
"Katherine," Holden groans against my neck, his warm mouth trailing kisses along my collarbone. "Fuck, you feel so good."
Every shudder that rocks through my body sends electricity coursing through him. Our bodies move together, slick with sweat and adrenaline, the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filling the silence between us. My hips jerk forward, my nails digging into his shoulders in time with each thrust. His fingers dig deeper inside of me, filling the empty places left by his mouth while his tongue explores every inch of my skin that remains untouched by him. My toes curl as his hands leave bruises on my hips in their wake.
"Harder," I groan out, needing more than this delicate dance of pleasure. His thrusts increase in speed until they match the frantic pace we both crave.
His eyes remain locked on mine as he buries himself deeper into me, his face contorting into a mask of pure ecstasy. He leans forward to nip at my neck gently, leaving a trail of heat behind his teeth before taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking it roughly between sharp teeth, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from me.
I gasp out, arching into him. My legs shake violently as he continues to move within me, matching our hips together like we have been doing this all our lives. I lose myself in the sensation- the rough feel of his hands on my skin, the slick sound of skin against skin.
Tension within me mounts and I’m so close, the coil of pleasure constricting my body.
My voice cracks when I whisper, "Holden..." but no words follow because there's only the sound of our heavy breathing filling the room.
With a final cry, I come undone around him.
My body convulses wildly, squeezing him tightly within me as my orgasm crashes over me like a tidal wave of pleasure. A carnal scream tears through me as I come hard, my whole being consumed by the intensity of our connection.
His lips crash to mine as he thrusts hard inside me, coming with a final groan and pinning me against the cool surface of the mirror. His strong, toned body glistening with sweat as he kisses me passionately, hips still pulsing as he releases slick spurts inside of me.
Panting and sated, we stay like that for a moment, long after we’ve each finished. As we catch our breath, he slowly pulls out of me, leaving us both breathless and satisfied.
He leans in and kisses me softly, his lips tasting of salt and desire. "I love you," he murmurs against my skin, and I know in my heart that it is true. It probably always was true, but we were too young to understand the weight of these emotions.
Over the speakers in my dressing room, Maggie’s voice echoes. “Good evening cast and crew, happy opening night! This is your one hour call. One hour until mic check!”
He gently brushes a stray lock of hair from my face and looks into my eyes with a tender expression. “Come on, Rose. It’s showtime.”