29. BODI
29
T his right here is why I’m fucked.
Kayla is wrapped in my arms as we lie on the couch, half her body on top of me. We just finished breakfast and we’re watching one of her silly reality shows.
I’m not normally a cuddler, or maybe I’ve never found anyone I want to cuddle with. But just holding her against my chest with my lips sitting on her hair, I’m wondering if I am. I’m completely content lying here with her close.
I can’t believe everything she has done for me in the last few weeks. She bent over backwards to get my father at the fundraiser, something I didn’t even consider a possibility anymore, and after that, she threw me a surprise party.
We agreed on friends, and we are. She’s my best friend. I can’t imagine her not being there when I wake up and I can’t imagine not asking her what she wants to eat for dinner. But after my birthday, I’m not sure if that’s enough.
If it will continue to be enough, not for her, but for me.
If I can settle with friendship, but I also know the boys were right.
What if one day, she runs into a nice guy who asks her out on a date? Can I accept that? Can I handle that? A primal instinct in me shouts no every time these questions flash through my head.
I’d be jealous as fuck, and I know that says something. You don’t get jealous of your friends; you wish them well. You wish them the world.
I don’t wish Kayla the world if I’m not part of it. I’m becoming more and more selfish about this woman. I don’t think I can be her friend if another man lies on the other side of her bed. I know it’s fucked up, but I can no longer deny it to myself. If I can’t have her, I’m petty enough to say I don’t want anyone to have her.
She’s mine.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“What do you mean?” She looks up at me, her big blue eyes all big and adorable.
“Let’s go do something fun.” I run my thumb along her soft jaw.
“Like what?”
“I have an idea.” A mischievous smile forms on my lips.
“What?” she presses, pushing her palm against my chest with urgency, and I chuckle. I love seeing her squirm when her curiosity doesn’t get filled right away.
It’s my way of torturing her without tying her up and having my way with her.
But, damn, that’s a thought.
“You’ll see. Come on. Get dressed.” I slap her butt, hurdling her off my body, and she reluctantly gets up with a frown on her pretty face.
“You’re being cryptic. It scares me.” Her arms fold in front of her body while I carry my feet toward my bedroom.
“It’ll be fun. I promise.”
“Unless you’re stripping naked, we don’t really have the same opinion on fun . Will this be your fun or my fun?”
I hold still, laughing at her suspicious stance. “Your fun. Come on.”
With her eyes still narrowed, she saunters toward the guest room. “Get dressed for what?”
“Tea with the queen. Come on, babe. Stop fishing.”
“I’m not!” she cries. “But I need some guidance here. Are we going to get dirty?” Here’s another thought . “Do I need to wear a helmet? A bikini?”
“To have tea with the queen? I haven’t met her before, but I’m gonna go with no.” I smirk, walking backwards towards my own bedroom.
“Oh, ha-ha, asshole. What do I need to wear?”
“Jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie,” I tell her, then turn around to change.
“Will we be outside?” she calls out behind my back.
“Yes.”
She grunts before I disappear into my bedroom, changing into some jeans and a hoodie as I ordered her to do. I give myself a glance in the mirror, running my hand through my messy hair before deciding I don’t give a shit, then grab my keys and wallet to walk out.
At the same time, she struts from her room, and a lopsided grin tugs on my lip.
She’s wearing a white hoodie with her denim jacket on top while rocking tennis shoes and blue jeans. Her hair is up in a ponytail and I watch how she puts some lip balm on with the tip of her finger.
That girl looks so fucking good in denim.
In anything for that matter, but denim has to be my favorite look on her.
“Ready?” I ask, playing with my keys in my palm.
“I guess,” she drawls.
We walk out the door, get on the elevator, and I pull her back against my chest as we ride down. My nose dives into her neck, breathing her in like I need a shot every hour.
The thing is, I do. I need to feel her, touch her, breathe her in every single time she’s near me. And when she’s not? I count the minutes until I can. I grab her hand while we head to the car, the move feeling completely familiar and natural.
The first few weeks I was hesitant about PDA, scared someone from work might see, but lately, I’m not really aware of it anymore. I keep my hands off her when we are at work, but other than that, I just give in to my impulses. And they are on fire when Kayla is around.
“Are you really not going to tell me where we’re going?” We sit in the car, driving through town.
“It’s a surprise.”
“How can it be a surprise when we were on the couch watching TV just ten minutes ago?”
“Stop fishing.”
She purses her lips, her curiosity killing her.
“How long is the drive?”
“Ten more minutes.”
“Ah, darn! There goes my hope of going to Disney World.”
“Oh, trust me.” I grab her hand, linking my fingers through hers before setting it on her lap. “It’s better.”
“I’m sorry, better than Disney World? How is that even possible? Oh, wait! I know! You’re going to make love to me under the stars on top of your Charger.” She flutters her lashes.
There’s another fucking thought, Jesus.
The image makes me blink ten times too many while my dick twitches. “What?”
“No? Never mind.”
“Where the fuck did you get that idea?”
“Rae.”
“Rae?” I parrot, incredulous, though I don’t want to know more.
“I said never mind!” She giggles, and I shake my head, laughing.
“It’s a good idea, though.” I shrug. “But no.”
“Spa day?”
“No.”
“Karting?”
“No.”
“Fishing?”
“You’d want to go fishing?” I twist my neck at her.
“If by fishing you mean you fish and I chill on the boat before you fuck me senseless, then yes.”
She really needs to stop giving me any more ideas to fuck her or I’ll drive this car to some quiet dirt road and do exactly that. Fuck her senseless.
“I was talking about live bait and hooks.”
She quickly scrunches up her nose. “Ew, then no. Come on, tell me!”
“Do you trust me?” I squeeze her hand.
Her gaze drops to mine while I keep my eyes fixed on the road. She stays quiet and I glance at her, scared her face will show me that her answer to that question will be no. But instead, there is a smile on her face that’s filled with emotion and even though we’re both seated, I feel like she’s emotionally hugging my heart, giving me a look that I will remember forever.
“I do.”
I bring her hand to my lips, giving it an affectionate kiss. “Then shut up until we get there.”
She laughs. It’s a full laugh, one that echoes through the entire car. One that crashes through every fiber of my being. One I don’t think I can ever live without.
“Fine.” Dramatically, she raises her chin, looking out the window while faking her annoyance as only she can.
She’s so different from every other girl I’ve ever met. When we met last summer, I thought she was fun, exhilarating, but I also thought it was because of her age. A bright, happy teenager, full of life and ready to kick ass in the world. I remember how Jensen and I were at nineteen and we had exactly the same spirit. But since she’s been living with me, I’ve learned that this is exactly who Kayla is. She can work like an ox, play like a child, and can act as responsible as a loving mom.
She’s fun, loving, and caring. She makes me laugh every single day, and I’ve become addicted to her little taunts.
When we reach the edge of the city, I turn right to the dirt road leading to a big field.
Her head snaps toward mine, but she keeps her mouth shut until finally we reach the clearing that holds our destination and she gasps beside me.
With wide eyes, she looks at the big banner that is set up high between the gates surrounding the field.
“You took me to the carnival?”
“I did.”
She keeps staring at the rides that pop up from above the fences. People are walking in and out, some with stuffed animals and food in their hands. The Ferris wheel peers above the top of the trees and the sounds of the rides make their way through the car when I park.
I turn off the engine and face her. “Good?”
She presses her lips together, taking a deep breath through her nose, then her eyes find mine.
I let out a whining grunt when I notice how moist they are, and I reach out to cup her cheek.
“Ah, baby, don’t cry.”
“You took me to the carnival.”
“I know,” I titter.
“You hate the carnival.”
“I know.” It’s just one tacky money pit. “But you love it.”
A tear falls down her cheek and I wipe it away with my thumb, just in time to catch the next one. Shit, I wasn’t expecting this reaction.
“Hey, hey, come here.” I pull her head against my heart as much as I can with the center console between us, my hands cupping the back of her head. “Why are you crying, baby?”
“Because you’re doing this for me,” she sniffs.
Of course, I’m doing this for her. It makes her smile, why wouldn’t I?
“It’s not a big deal. You’ve done a ton of stuff for me.”
“Like what?” she scoffs.
I push out a laugh, a little confused she doesn’t even realize as I start to list them.
“You cooked for me. You made sure my father was at my fundraiser. You organized the fundraiser better than I could ever have done.”
“That’s my job.”
“You threw me a birthday party,” I continue in a serious tone. “You make me laugh. Things have been hard with my dad and all. But you’ve made it easier. You’ve done a lot for me, babe. The least I can do is take you to the one thing you love the most.”
“I annoy you all the time. I push you around. I do everything wrong.” She states, as if that explains her confusion, bubbling another laugh from my chest.
“What? No, baby. Yes, you’re a pain in my ass half the time, but you don’t do anything wrong . You’re perfect, and that’s why I’m crazy about you.”
I hate that she feels like she’s doing everything wrong when in reality, she’s doing everything right.
She chuckles. “You mean I drive you crazy?”
“That too,” I hum, my lips connecting with her hair.
She tilts her head so she can meet my gaze. “Bodi?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.” She covers her mouth with mine in a bruising kiss.
“You’re welcome, babe,” I murmur against her plump lips. “Are you ready to go?”
“Are you going to buy me some cotton candy?”
I brush the back of my hands against her silky cheek, her blue eyes melting my insides as she looks at me with a hopeful face.
I’d do anything for her.
“I’ll buy you anything you want, baby.”