7 The New Heights
Dash/Beau/Dash
Dash
Monday
George Bush Intercontinental Airport
It didn’t take a kindergarten diploma to realize my partner was still upset with me. Perhaps “upset” wasn’t the right word. Sulky might capture his mood better. He was certainly temperamental. Eerily quiet too. I took the turn into the George Bush Intercontinental Airport, following the directory signs for Turkish Airlines.
“You have a layover in Istanbul?” I asked, feeling increasingly frustrated. The only sound interrupting the stillness was an occasional sniffle I let out due to my allergies. The damn trees were trying to kill me.
I needed to carve out time for a doctor’s appointment. Sudafed wasn’t cutting it this year.
“Yeah, they adjusted the itinerary to include some sightseein’ there. I updated the calendar,” Beau said, tilting his head to better see the lit directional signs against the dark night, guiding us to the proper drop-off.
At least he answered me this time. It seemed like a step in the right direction. I wish he’d come around enough for a quick blow job to tide me over until he returned.
Man, my guy could hold a grudge.
“Remind me when the climb begins,” I said.
He turned his head in my direction. I could feel his eyes rolling. He wasn’t wrong. I did remember the entire itinerary. Of course, I did, but I wanted him to talk to me before he left.
“We had too much goin’ on, I don’t remember the exact dates, but I marked it in our calendar. I believe Friday’s when we begin. We’re sightseein’ for a couple of days, so maybe the climb begins Thursday. No, I don’t think that’s right. Probably Friday.” Even through the moodiness, I could hear his excitement. The corners of my lips tugged a grin free.
“It’s a perfect trip for you. Send me pictures when you can. I’ll show the kids,” I said, voicing the request so the girls could see what he was doing in real time.
“They won’t be excited about starin’ at a bunch of rocks.” he said, gesturing toward the gate. There were ten or so members in his group waiting at the entry doors to the airport. We may have been the last ones to arrive.
“It’s your first time in the Himalayans. It’s exciting. I’ve never been there. Maybe we can go back together,” I said, pulling to the curb just beyond where the team stood.
“I guess.”
Yippee. We were back to the ambiguous two-word answers. I put the gear shift in park as he started for the door handle.
“Remember, I love you, and I’m here waiting for you to return.”
Beau’s questioning gaze pinned me. “’Course. I love you too. That’s why I want you to eat better so you’ll be here as long as you can.”
The worry bugging me began to ease. “So being abnormally quiet with no effort to make love before you leave means you love me? Because I didn’t like any of that treatment.”
“I’m sortin’ through everything in my mind, but I can’t let go of you and the kids eatin’ better foods. It’s nonnegotiable for me, and you won’t stop with the junk food no matter what we’ve talked about. You make me look like the bad guy all of the time. I don’t like it. So we’ll talk about it and everything else when I get back.”
“Okay, I agree. We’ll wait until the day after you get home to have the discussion, no longer.”
He grinned and nodded, probably for my benefit more than his, but I took it.
“Sure.” Anything else said was lost when someone yanked his side door open, allowing all the airplane and airport noise into our vehicle. James and Ben, two of his climbing buddies, grinned from ear to ear.
“Come on, big ’un. We’re waitin’ on you.” James, with a firm grip on Beau’s forearm, tugged him out of the SUV. Ben opened the back door and removed Beau’s efficiently packed gear. The damn thing was heavy, and he carried it like it was nothing.
“Kiss him goodbye when you get back.” Ben, a longtime friend of Beau’s, cackled at his own joke. Of course, I couldn’t just let Beau go without a proper farewell. The group met Beau between the sliding glass entry doors and our Tahoe. Knuckle bumping and other greetings took place. Beau subtly glanced over his shoulder, hopefully to see where I was. I stepped out, following Beau.
Tucking my hands into my slacks pocket, I walked to the group. “Y’all have a good time.”
Beau took his backpack from James and mounted it on his back. At least, that’s how I described the fluid way he carried the heavy bundle. I leaned in, he did too. I’d expected a kiss, but he bypassed my lips for my ear and said, “Take care of our family, and make sure Duke and Daisy get their runs in. Otherwise, they’ll get restless and make everyone crazy. Good luck with your case.” He brushed his lips against my ear, sending a sudden happy shiver down my spine.
“Call us when you can,” I said. He nodded and stepped away, waving a hand in the air as he walked backward, again trailing behind the group.
“Remember the phone rings both ways.” It was a phrase he always said when headed out for a climb.
“Be careful what you wish for. Our phone plan says we can talk internationally.”
Beau grinned brighter at me before ducking inside the airport. Through the windows, I tracked him to the check-in counter. I wanted to wait for a few minutes, be available if he needed anything or left something in the SUV, but the security guard’s whistle knocked me out of my Beau-induced trance. Beau glanced at me one last time and waved.
My mountain man. He’d come home with a longer beard, shaggy head of hair, and weathered skin crinkling the corners of his eyes. I couldn’t wait.
I climbed in the Tahoe and put it in drive, and sighed as I pulled away. It looked like vegetables were in my future. I’d do it for him until I’d had enough, and we’d have this conversation again.
Beau
I put my head in my hands, my thumbs circling my temples, trying to relieve the low-level headache I couldn’t shake. My inner being held on to a heavy sense of unease that had nothing to do with the flight I’d boarded. The idea of leaving while in a disagreement with Dash made me edgy. With each mile this airplane flew away from my family, the worry escalated. Whatever had driven me to continue with my vacation needed to take the wheel. Otherwise, I was turning around when we hit the ground.
Think about the positives. I understood that I regularly turned to a negative place to protect what I held dear.
A cool thing? I’d upgraded my airfare for a bigger seat. It wasn’t that big, my body still had to scrunch to fit properly, but it was better than economy. The treatment from the in-flight staff was excellent. The interior of the plane was dark, the lights dimmed. I should be sleeping. With my head against the headrest, I stared out the window at the night sky. No amount of redirection worked. Mere seconds later, I rose from my aisle seat, waking the person in the seat beside me. The antsiness that I couldn’t shake required movement, so I began to walk the aisle of the plane again.
“You doing okay?” a flight attendant asked as I passed by the galley.
“Yeah. Can’t sleep,” I muttered.
“I can help with that.” Her smile brightened, and she pointed in a direction behind me. She guided us to a hidden set of stairs at the front of the plane. My shoulders touched each side of the small stairwell, opening to what I assumed was first class with many empty seats.
“We’ve watched you try to get comfortable. The flight crew agreed to seat you up here until it’s time to deboard, but it’s our secret. Take a seat wherever you like. We have free internet up here.” She whispered all of this quietly then winked. I nodded in appreciation, but didn’t understand the wink. “The code’s on the remote control. Do I need to bring you anything?”
I shook my head, and quietly mouthed thank you . For this flight, she’d just become my favorite person ever.
“Blankets are in the cupboard. There’s a water bottle for you. We have about nine hours left until Istanbul. Rest up.”
She left me, trotting down the stairs. I clocked the location of the restroom and chose a seat about halfway down the aisle. I stretched out in the reclining chair with the water bottle on the small table inside the mini cubicle. This was what I thought I’d paid for. I dry swallowed a Xanax from my pocket, one of a few tablets my doctor gave me for the flight. Maybe it’d kick in this time.
I turned down the brightness of the phone screen to not disrupt those around me and entered the internet code in my cell phone, feeling the anxiety slipping away. Probably because I was texting Dash in the middle of the night with zero regrets of waking him.
“ What are you doing? ” I typed.
Instantly, the dots on the bottom of the screen bounced away. Of course, he was awake. It baffled me how he managed to function without sleep.
“ I’m with West. He’s unsettled. Why are you awake? ”
Seconds later, a picture of my little guy and Dash appeared on the screen. Dash’s bed head was epic. He wore a face mask, probably due to the cold he was developing, and our baby was cradled in his arms, drinking from a bottle. Dash had no idea I knew how much time he spent with West in the middle of the night. He muted the volume on the baby monitor so he wouldn’t bother me, but the screen showed the time he spent in West’s room.
“ They gave me a halfway decent seat, but I couldn’t sleep. I was walking the plane and a flight attendant took pity on me. I’m in first class now. Did you know airplanes have an upstairs? ”
The dots drummed again. I waited patiently, knowing he was using one hand to type.
“ Yeah. I’ve seen that before. ” The dots reappeared. “ I miss you already. ”
Yeah. I missed him too. He held me captivated even during the difficult times.
“ I miss you too, ” I replied and lifted the phone to take a photo of me stretched out on the recliner. Out of nowhere, the bottom of the seat popped out, bringing my legs up. No matter the cost, I planned to always fly first class and added that to the message, attaching the photo before pushing send.
“ Jealous. Looks comfortable, ” Dash said. I stared at the screen, lost to the picture of Dash and West together. He and I used the same surrogate, wanting the kids to be related by blood, but my genes had marked West. He looked like me. All of our children were taller than average. The girls had bubbly personalities. They experienced a range of emotions all the time, but West was a serious little man. His brows knitted together regularly as he watched everything.
“ You still there? ” Dash asked.
“ I am. Are you ready for trial? ” I asked. His pro bono case went to trial tomorrow. I hoped the clients knew how fortunate they were to have found him. Dash was tackling an immigration case that he’d spent countless hours preparing his arguments for. He also knew how to navigate the system, calling in favors to get assigned a judge who regularly sided with the immigration laws.
“ I am. It’s probably not the time, but I’m sorry about what happened. I don’t like you leaving without having everything settled between us. You’re right, our health matters. ”
I snapped another photo of me grinning like a Cheshire cat. I sent the photo as my reply and counted it a second win that kept me from saying I win .
“ Is that grin because you love me beyond reason? Or the fact you won the argument? ”
“ Probably the second one, ” I teased. “ I’m ready to apologize too. I do tend to make decisions without involving you. I’d be pissed off if you did that to me. This is where you win because I do get how the kids need a treat now and then. But I want them to learn that healthy food tastes good too. ” I sent the text that felt like the size of a book. Maybe the largest text I’d ever sent.
“ Thank you. I agree. I should’ve approached you instead of going around your back, but talking to you can be like hitting a brick wall. People say I’m immovable but I’m a pushover compared to you. ”
“ We still need counseling, maybe me more than you, but you’re clinging to some resentments that I thought you were over. Maybe the same past keeps me twisted up too. IDK. We need to work it out. It’s gonna take time. ”
“ Deal. I really wish you’d had this epiphany six hours ago. Then I could’ve gotten a quick blow in the parking lot of the airport. ”
My smile was immediate. He knew I wasn’t into PDAs. We exchanged quick pecks here and there, but it wasn’t often. We both feared how the parents of the girls’ friends perceived us.
“ Maybe I needed the blowjob, ” I countered.
“ Yeah right. That’s never going to happen. The bedroom’s the only place we’re allowed to have sex. Remember when we used to do it everywhere. There wasn’t a restroom in Chicago that we didn’t have sex in. ” Dash typed in two back-to-back text messages.
“ Yeah, right. The swimming pool says something different .”
“ Changing subject, because I’m turned on and you’re not here to deal with it. Do you ever look at the moon and wonder if I’m looking at it too? ” he asked.
“ Of course not. I’m always home with you when the moon’s up. I’m going to sleep. The pills the doc gave me are kicking in. ” A giant yawn had me pausing before I finished the message. “ Thanks for talking to me. It’s already hard enough to leave you without throwing in a disagreement. ”
“ I feel the same way. Go to sleep. I am too. ”
“ Good luck, tomorrow. ” I decided that was enough. I felt lighter. Maybe it wasn’t the past that got me twisted, but the fear of losing the great life we’d created. Who knew for sure? I placed the phone on the table and stared at the ceiling. This was probably my final climbing trip. My heart liked that idea a lot.
Dash
Three Days Later
“Girls, pay attention to Amelia, or you’ll be late for school,” I said between labored breaths through our Alexa devices in the house. From what I could tell, my sinus issues had escalated into something severe that was getting worse by the day. Given the aches and pains throughout my body, whatever was going on with me probably needed a doctor’s visit.
“Daddy, I wish I could see you,” Ava called from the other side of my closed bedroom door. “I’m wearing my Maleficent costume from the cruise. We’re gonna wear the Tinker Bell costumes when you and Uncle Scott take us trick or treating so no one will know which one of us is which.”
“Babydoll, I don’t want you to get sick. That’s the only reason I’m keeping you out of here. Tell Amelia to send lots of pictures,” I managed, my eyes closing, feeling like those few words exhausted me. In what may have been a first in my career, I had taken the last two days off work to give my exhausted body time to heal. It hadn’t helped. “Go to school and enjoy your Halloween party. You have all of next week off. I’m sure I’ll be better.”
The following sneeze was a neck-jarring, brain-rattling explosion inside my head. Fuck, I felt bad. In the last forty-eight hours, I’d slept about thirty-five. The rest of the time, I stared at the ceiling, truly feeling like shit. It was such a bummer. After the court victory, I missed all my client’s family celebrations, knowing there would be delicious home-cooked meals. At least she had her partner and children with her, which made me feel good, sort of. I barely held any malice toward her father who’d shared this cold with me, or I guessed that was what had happened.
“Dash,” Amelia said from the other side of the door. “Do you need anything?”
“Yeah,” I said. “For Beau to come home and take care of me. He owes me.”
“You don’t sound any better,” she said, concern in her voice. “You need to see a doctor before the weekend. I’ll call them. They make house calls.”
Another bout of hacking coughs made my chest concave, at least in theory it did. Stars filled the blackness in my head, pounding violently in pain.
“I’m calling them,” she said.
“Give me until Monday.” Whether I actually said the words aloud or not, I didn’t know. Pain zipped through my head like a cannonball.
Silence followed, suggesting she either heard me and chose to ignore what I said, or she was in fact gone. I had forgotten about the house call, I just wished I’d have a magical turnaround without causing any more stress to Amelia.
I hadn’t heard from Beau since the flight to Kathmandu. Being so far gone in such a dangerous sport made me worry. Even more than that, for the last five years we had spent every night together. I should’ve gone with him. I dragged his pillow to my chest and curled in around it. Seconds later, I fell back to sleep.