Chapter 14
Matthew
I thought it might be weird having Beth in my home while we’re in this fake relationship. But the truth is, it feels natural. While we may be faking a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, I would consider us friends. Pretty close friends. Being with someone for two months straight, all day, every day, you get to know them.
And I know Beth. The kind heart she has. Her confidence. Her talent for making this social media stuff look easy. Her beauty , a small voice in the back of my head whispers.
What? Even friends notice looks. I’m not blind. I have twenty-twenty vision.
Even her quirks. The way she bites her lip when she’s nervous and how she squeals whenever she sees a dog.
Alison and Beth are in the living room, laughing about something. Beth looks over to me and gives a knowing look. I smile, then take a sip of my sweet tea.
“She’s wonderful, Matthew,” my mom says over my shoulder, startling me. “But I have to say, I’m surprised.”
“Surprised?” I turn toward her now.
“Yes.” She nods, her eyes softening. “You’ve never brought a girl home.”
“Well, she works for me, and we’re here for a tournament…” I trail off, trying to find the right words.
“And she’s your girlfriend whom you brought home to meet us. It must be serious.”
I try to object, but she raises her hand.
“You don’t have to say anything, honey. Your eyes already told me everything.”
I furrow my brows and shake my head. “My eyes…told you what exactly?”
She pats my hand, a gentle mother’s touch. “That you care about her, Matthew. More than you’re willing to admit to me.”
I stiffen at her words, swallowing hard. “You’re reading too much into it, Mom.”
She shrugs nonchalantly. “Women have a sixth sense about this kind of thing.” She pats me on the shoulder. “I’m going to finish getting dinner ready.”
Looks like I need to order some drapes for my eyes; they’re telling a story that no one needs to know. Especially not Beth. She doesn’t need to know about the stolen glances, the butterflies I get every time we touch, the sleepless nights thinking about the day we’ve had together. The very thought of her finding out about my feelings terrifies me. I almost gave in to them the night of the gala. I almost kissed her. But we can’t. If I kiss her…there’s no turning back.
In less than two months, she’ll move on with her life. She’ll move back home and run her company…she’ll leave me.
A sharp stabbing pain flows through my chest. The loss, the grief, the despair—all the pain I felt when my dad passed away is something I don’t want to experience again. And Beth, she isn’t even mine to lose, but the thought of her leaving…
I shake my head, scrubbing the fear away with the back of my hand. I can’t think like that. I have to get a grip on these feelings.
After all, it’s just a contract. We’re like two puppets just playing the part.
The living room fills with more laughter, pulling my attention back to the present. Beth and Alison are sprawled on the floor, surrounded by old photo albums, their faces glowing with amusement as they flip through pages.
“Oh no, not middle school! At least do high school, like prom—I look good in a tux.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Beth mumbles under her breath.
Alison gasps playfully. “Aaand that’s my cue! I’ll go help Mom with dinner.”
We both laugh as Alison quickly gets up and bounces out of the room.
“Alison isn’t spilling all my secrets, is she?”
“Oh, not at all,” she says sarcastically. “Just something about driving a golf cart into a sand bunker and your crush on Jenny in middle school?”
I lean my face into my hands. “Be right back. I need to inflict some brotherly…love.”
“Isn’t that what little sisters are for—to embarrass their big brother? I do it to mine all the time.” She shrugs.
“I suppose you’re right,” I admit, sinking into the couch and draping my arm across the back cushion. “But I don’t remember signing up for a roast session today.”
Beth giggles as she continues to flip through the album. “Well, you should’ve thought about that before leaving me alone with your sister. You should have known I’d get all the childhood stories.”
“True.”
I needed a break from Beth, and here she is, getting all my deep, dark secrets. She gets up from the floor and sits on the couch next to me.
“You share the same smile,” Beth says softly.
“Everyone says I look like my mom.”
“I mean your dad.” She turns the photo album toward me. It’s a picture of my dad and me at a tournament in my junior year of high school. “It’s a kind smile, warm. Just like yours.”
The unexpected compliment leaves a warm sensation in my chest. “He always had a smile on his face, no matter what. He was a good man.”
“He must’ve been very proud of you,” she says, looking down at the photograph. “I’m sorry for your loss, Matthew.”
I swallow hard against the lump forming in my throat. She leans her head against my chest, and I drop my hand to her shoulder. “Thanks.”
Her head on me feels so normal, comforting, yet I know I should be putting emotional and physical distance between us. But there’s this push and pull effect. Every time I try to push her away, it’s like it actually brings her closer to me.
“I think he would have adored you,” I say softly, words slipping out before I can stop them.
Beth looks up at me, her emerald green eyes filled with surprise. “He would have?”
“You’re everything he encouraged me to find. Kindness, strength, intelligence…honesty. And you can actually put up with me,” I add with a grin.
Beth rolls her eyes, but there’s a warm blush creeping up her neck that tells me she appreciates the compliment. She opens her mouth to respond, but Alison bounces back into the room.
“Dinner’s ready!” she announces gleefully then disappears.
Alison shares more than she should, per usual, which has Beth laughing so hard she almost chokes on her food. I could defend myself or ask Alison to stop, but I’m willing to be the laughingstock at the expense of hearing her laugh and seeing her face light up.
After clearing the table, I step outside into the backyard. I sigh as I rest my hands on the patio railing and stare at the sunset.
I’m not doing a very good job keeping Beth at a distance. Bringing her here isn’t helping either. But what was I supposed to do? Leave her at the hotel? Right…because coming home and leaving my girlfriend at the hotel wouldn’t be suspicious. Not visit my family? That wasn’t an option either. So I’m just torturing myself for the good of keeping up this image of the happy couple, Betthew.
“Everything okay?” Alison’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I nod, trying to hide my feelings behind a fake smile.
“Yeah…just thinking about the tournament,” I lie smoothly, masking my inner turmoil with a casual smile.
“Sure you were,” she teases. “I bet you were thinking about your girlfriend,” she sings.
I shake my head and chuckle.
“Beth is fantastic,” she says.
“Yeah, she is.” My gaze is fixed on the fading sun.
“She’s good for you. She makes you…light. Mom and I were talking, and we haven’t seen you smile or laugh like this since…well, since before Dad passed away.”
I’m silent for a moment, my mind racing. I wish I could just tell her it’s all a lie, but I can’t.
“It’s…complicated, Ali.”
She shakes her head at me. “Love is always complicated, Matty. It’s taking a risk and a leap of faith with another person and hoping they won’t let you fall.”
Her words hit me hard, either because they’re true or they’re coming from my seventeen-year-old sister. Or both.
“Do you remember what Dad used to say?”
I chuckle at her question. “Which one are you referring to? He was a man of many words.”
“Unlike someone I know…” She nudges me playfully. “He said that love was never about the guarantee of forever, but it’s worth the risk of losing. And that you should never let the fear of loss keep you from loving at all.”
“Yeah, I remember,” I admit softly, remembering those very words. I can hear his voice saying them as if he’s right here with us.
“We lost Dad suddenly. But Mom and Dad loved each other so much,” she continues. “Even though he’s gone now, she still has all those beautiful memories with him. She has you, and she has me. She wouldn’t trade anything in the world for any of it.”
The pain in my chest intensifies, my breath hitching as I swallow hard. “But Ali, you have to understand—”
“I understand you’re scared,” she cuts me off. “But what you feel for Beth…it’s not something you can hide from.”
Maybe she’s right. But the fear of loss still tugs at my heartstrings.
“She’s not going anywhere, Matty.”
“How do you know that?”
“Call it a woman’s intuition.” She smirks.
What is it with women saying this? Do they really have this sixth sense about love? A mystery that may never be solved.
She presses a kiss on my cheek and walks back into the house. In a lot of ways, Alison reminds me of our father—optimistic even in the face of adversity. Always ready with wisdom that sounds like it should be printed on a shirt or a bumper sticker.
First, Owen told me that I’ll never regret trying. Then Mom tells me she sees how much I care for her in my eyes. And now Alison is telling me that love is worth the risk. Mom and Alison don’t know what’s really going on with Beth and I, but they think I’m serious about her. And somehow Ali’s advice still applies.
Their words replay in my head. What if they’re all right?
If Beth feels the same way, and I let her walk away, would that be worse than trying to make this real? Would telling her and trying, and potentially losing her, be worth the risk?
I’m not sure how long I stood there, staring blankly into the darkening sky, but eventually, I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. I turn around to find Beth standing there, her eyes shining in the moonlight.