Chapter 19 #3
Renza slapped a domino down and started talkin’ shit like he always did.
Pressure sat across from me blowin’ smoke into the air and lookin’ satisfied with how the day went.
I kept rubbin’ my hands together and laughin’ ‘cause the whole day felt unreal. It all hit me at once that in a few months I was gon’ be holdin’ a lil’ girl with Toni’s smile, Toni’s skin and Toni’s whole spirit.
I poured myself another drink and leaned back in my chair with a long sigh right when my phone buzzed on the table. The alert popped across the screen and the smile dropped off my face.
I frowned and grabbed it.
“Hold up, who the hell at my gate?” I muttered.
Pressure lifted one eyebrow. “Nigga what gate?”
“My front one.”
Renza looked up from the dominos and blinked. “Ain’t nobody supposed to be comin’.”
“I know that.” I hit the screen and pulled up the camera view. Somebody had buzzed in and hit the request-to-enter button. I hit the speaker.
“Who this?” I asked, already half ready to cuss.
A woman’s voice came through, loud enough for all of us to hear.
“Um, hi, my name Reni. I’m lookin’ for Renza. Can you tell him to answer his damn phone?”
Pressure sat up straight. “Who the fuck is Reni?”
My head turned slow toward Renza, and I swear his eyes got big as full moons. He looked stunned, like his spirit left his body for a second and had to come back to confirm the bullshit he just heard.
Me and Pressure stared dead at him.
“You know somebody named Reni?” I asked.
Renza swallowed and shook his head like he was tryna reset his brain. Before he could say shit, her voice came through again, even louder.
“Can you please tell Renza to get his stupid ass outside? I would gladly appreciate it.”
Pressure slapped the table so hard the dominos jumped. “Nigga what?”
I leaned back in my chair and just stared at Renza. “Say. You got a woman checkin’ in at the damn gate?”
Renza started stutterin’. “Man…hold on. I’ll be right back.”
He dropped his dominos like they burned him, grabbed his cup, took a big ass sip, then pushed his chair back and tried to walk away with dignity even though it was clear as hell he was shakin’ inside.
Pressure lifted his finger to say, “Aye boy you bet not die out there.”
I couldn’t stop laughin’. “Nigga today was my reveal party, not yours.”
Renza ignored both of us and tossed a middle finger over his shoulder before disappearin’ toward the house. My messy ass immediately opened my camera app and pulled up the gate view.
Pressure leaned over my shoulder. “Turn it up. I wanna hear all this.”
We watched Renza’s goofy ass jog up to the gate on the screen. He braced his hands in his pockets, clearly confused about how this woman found him. My thumb hovered over the button, and I unlocked the gate ‘cause I already knew this was gon’ be good.
Ol’ girl stepped up to him fast as hell. Her body was thick as hell. She had super curvy hips and that attitude hittin’ before she even opened her mouth.
“Why the fuck you ain’t answerin’ your phone, Renza?” she snapped.
Renza threw his hands up. “Girl, what the hell you doin’ here? How you even find me?”
She folded her arms and said it so casual it damn near knocked him over. “I put an AirTag in the tongue of your shoes. That’s how the fuck I found you, nigga.”
Pressure choked on his drink.
I leaned closer to the phone. “Aw, hell no.”
Renza staggered back like she threw somethin’ at him. “Lord… this fuckin’ woman done put a GPS in my got damn shoes.”
She crossed her arms. “You shouldn’t have left them raggedy muthafuckas on my rug.”
Renza stared at her. “You trippin’ Reni.”
Pressure fell on my shoulder laughin’. I had to put my drink down ‘cause my hand was shakin’.
Reni wasn’t done. She poked Renza’s chest. “You tired as hell, Renza. You got me fuckin’ you, cookin’ for yo’ stupid ass, washin’ yo’ clothes, and see… you got me fucked up if you think I’mma be a secret.”
Renza moved her hand away real gentle from his face. “Calm down. Ain’t nobody hidin’ you. You just don’t fuckin’ listen, girl.”
“Then let me in,” she shot back.
He looked up toward the house like he was searchin’ for an escape route, then gave up. “Mannn…Pull through the gate.”
She stormed off toward her car, and he looked so defeated that me and Pressure started laughin’ all over again.
“Oh, this is beautiful,” Pressure said while wipin’ his eyes.
I nodded. “Man, I’m finna clown this bitch for the rest of his life.”
A moment later the gate fully opened and Reni pulled in. Renza walked with her toward the backyard like a kid bein’ marched inside after gettin’ in trouble.
They stepped into the lights, and when I saw her in person my jaw damn near hit the floor. She was thick as hell. I mean, thick everywhere. She had a pretty face, full lips, hair laid, green eyes, and had a look on her face like she dared somebody to try her.
Pressure let out a low whistle.
Renza tried to act cool, but he kept glancin’ at her like he was scared she was gon’ swing on him.
He cleared his throat. “Aye, these my cousins. Pressure and Kay’Lo.”
Me and Pressure shook her hand. Her shake was firm like she been ready to fight somebody all day.
Pressure leaned toward me and whispered, loud enough for Renza to hear, “I ain’t know this nigga liked… all that.”
I covered my mouth and laughed into my palm.
And then Pressure lifted his head and yelled across the yard, “Pluto! Toni! Bring y’all asses here!”
Renza spun around. “Man, why you callin’ them over here?”
“Cause this your girlfriend, right?” Pressure asked with a smirk. “Ain’t no secrets in this family.”
Pluto walked up with Toni and Sha’Nelle behind her. Toni’s eyes was still a lil’ red from earlier. Pluto squinted at Reni like she was tryna piece somethin’ together. Sha’Nelle stopped short and looked like she was tryna swallow a brick.
Pressure pointed right at Reni. “This Reni. Renza’s woman.”
Pluto and Toni both raised their eyebrows at the same time.
“Oh wow,” Toni said politely. “Nice to meet you.”
Pluto smiled at Reni. “Real nice to meet you.”
Sha’Nelle barely stuck her hand out, her mouth tight as hell.
I pushed my tongue into my cheek ‘cause I knew exactly what that meant. Sha’Nelle had been feelin’ Renza, and he never looked her way. And now this thick ass, fine woman walked in claimin’ him? Oh yeah, Sha’Nelle was crushed.
Renza grabbed Reni’s hand like he was ready to escape. “We gon’ holla at y’all later.”
I leaned back and asked, “You sure you don’t wanna stay, boy?”
Pressure grinned big. “Aye Reni, you want somethin’ to eat?”
I choked and started coughin’ so bad I almost dropped my cup.
Renza shot Pressure a death stare. “Nigga…”
Pressure held his hands up. “I ain’t mean it like that. Damn. I was bein’ polite.”
Pluto popped him in the back of the head. “Be polite inside your own mind.”
Reni tried to smile even though she still looked irritated. “Y’all have a good night.”
Renza tugged her forward, clearly scared she was gon’ turn around and start up again. They disappeared through the house and the door shut behind them.
Me and Pressure looked at each other for two seconds before bustin’ out laughin’ so hard the table shook.
Pluto shook her head. “Grow the hell up, y’all.”
I wiped my eyes and leaned back in my chair, tryna stop laughin’ long enough to breathe. “Man… I can’t wait to see that nigga tomorrow.”
Pressure damn near fell forward on the table. “Nigga… did you SEE her? Renza been hidin’ all that from us? Since when he like big girls?”
I slapped my thigh. “Say, I ain’t never seen that nigga grab nobody hand that fast.”
Pressure hit his chest laughin’.
I leaned forward. “Bro, she fine too. Thick as hell. Renza really be livin’ a whole double life.”
Pressure nodded hard. “That boy been talkin’ about Pluto, talkin’ about Toni, talkin’ about everybody… the whole time he been laid up with Jill Scott.”
That’s when Toni shouted across the table, “Y’all shut the hell up! Y’all childish as fuck.”
I waved her off. “Girl, go on somewhere. You know damn well Renza got some explainin’ to do.”
Pluto started laughin’ behind her hand. “I’m still stuck on us not knowing he had a girlfriend.”
Pressure lifted his cup. “To Renza. May he never live this shit down.”
I clinked my cup with his.
Toni shook her head, smilin’ even though she tried not to. “Y’all two worse than some fuckin’ babies.”
We both hollered again, ‘cause we couldn’t help it.
Pluto put her hand on Toni’s back. “Girl, just let they slow asses have it.”
Pressure wiped his eyes. “Thank you.”
I nodded. “He gon’ hate us tomorrow.”
Pressure smirked. “And we gon’ laugh anyway.”
And just like that, the night felt even better. My baby girl was on the way, and Renza finally got caught slippin’ with a thick woman who wasn’t scared to pull up and cuss him the fuck out.
Life was good as hell.