Chapter 20
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
Today had been a fulfillin’ day for me and Kay’Lo and all I could think about was how blessed we was, how full my heart felt, and how my life kept shapin’ itself into somethin’ I used to pray for.
The mansion was quietin’ down, and the last few people who stayed after the reveal was walkin’ toward the driveway.
My cheeks hurt from smilin’ the whole day and I hugged whoever was still around, thankin’ them for showin’ up for us and for our baby.
Everybody had poured love on us since Kay’Lo hit that last target and all that pink powder blasted across the yard.
It felt like the whole world wrapped around me and Kay’Lo for a second, like God paused everything just to make sure we heard Him say congratulations.
I hugged Pluto and she held me tight while rubbin’ my back. When I pulled back, she glanced over her shoulder at Kay’Lo and Pressure who was sittin’ across the yard actin’ a drunken fool.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head ‘cause every time them two got together I felt like I was runnin’ a damn daycare. Pluto shook her head too and whispered, “Girl, good luck with that. They asses not even on Earth right now.”
I laughed and hugged her again before she placed her hand on my belly, like she was touchin’ somethin’ holy.
“Your god mommy can’t wait to meet you ‘Lo’Lo,” Pluto said with this warm smile that made my heart heat up.
I placed my hand on top of hers and nodded.
I felt all the joy from today rush back through me like somebody turned on a light inside my heart.
We was havin’ a little girl, and Kay’Lo proposed to me again, and I said yes, and every piece of it felt right, like I was walkin’ exactly where I was supposed to walk.
After Pluto and Pressure left, I found Sha’Nelle with a whole plate piled with leftovers.
“I’m about to go upstairs and lay down,” I told her. “I’m tired as hell. I love you cousin.”
Sha’Nelle waved me off with her fork and said, “I love you too. Bitch, go relax. I’m finna destroy this plate.”
That made me laugh, and I headed toward the staircase where Kay’Lo was leanin’ against the railing like he needed it to keep him upright.
His eyes was red as sin from the liquor and weed, and he looked me up and down real slow with a smirk that curled up on one side of his mouth.
He bit his lip like I was somethin’ sweet he couldn’t wait to get to.
He pushed off the wall and reached for my hand. I gave him my hand while rollin’ my eyes at him ‘cause he was too damn drunk and too damn fine at the same time.
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “I love you Mommy,” he said in this deep, slow voice that made my stomach flutter.
I blushed like a fool and whispered, “I love you too. But you cut up real bad with Pressure today.”
He started laughin’ like he was relivin’ the whole Renza and Reni situation all over again. He ain’t even answer me. He just shook his head like he was tryin’ not to laugh harder while he walked me upstairs.
When we got in our bedroom, he let go of my hand and stared at me like I was somethin’ he’d been dyin’ to touch all night. His eyes was low, warm, hazy, and he walked toward me real slow.
I felt my face heat up when he hovered over me, breathin’ slow, takin’ his time like he wanted to savor the whole moment. He touched my stomach with both hands and rubbed across the curve that had popped out more and more each week.
“My’Love,” he whispered while starin’ at my belly like he could already see her.
The love in his eyes hit me hard, and I whispered, “I love you, Kay’Lo.”
He reached behind my neck and unclasped the necklace he put on me earlier. While he was doin’ it, he whispered, “I love you too, baby,” and then he kissed me. It was soft and juicy, and his lips lingered on mine like he didn’t plan on movin’.
He slid his hands around my body and untied my dress. The gown slipped off my shoulders and fell to the floor at my feet. I was completely naked in front of him, and he ain’t blink or say nothin’. He just stared, quiet and drunk, takin’ his time lettin’ his eyes move over my skin.
He rubbed my stomach again like he needed to touch his daughter to keep his balance. His eyes was hungry and tender at the same time, and it made me look away ‘cause the way he stared at me always made me feel like he could see inside my soul.
Every time I looked away, he grabbed my chin and made me look right back at him. He ain’t talk. He just held my eyes with his, and my whole body warmed up under his stare.
I whispered that I was about to run some bath water, and he nodded slow with that same look in his eyes. I went into the bathroom, lit my candles, and started a bubble bath. Once the water filled the tub, I stepped in and leaned back with a long breath, lettin’ the warmth wrap around my body.
Today had been long and perfect and emotional, and now I finally got to breathe.
I closed my eyes for a second, lettin’ the heat melt the day off me.
When I opened them again, Kay’Lo was standin’ right there naked like he belonged in an art museum.
His body was glistenin’ from the light and his tattoos looked darker against his skin.
His eyes was low and red and full of somethin’ that made my stomach flip.
The tub was big enough for the both of us, and he stepped in behind me. The water rose when he settled down, and he wrapped his arms around me like he wanted to lock me to his chest.
He kissed my shoulder slow, then slid his hands down into the water and placed them on my stomach again. He kept rubbin’ and caressin’ the curve.
I leaned back against his chest and closed my eyes again. The bathroom was quiet except for the candles cracklin’ and Kay’Lo breathin’ against my ear. His touch was soft, his hands moved slow, and everything about the moment felt peaceful in a way I didn’t get often.
There was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I rubbed his forearm and whispered, “I’m so happy, Kay’Lo.”
His lips brushed my neck. “Me too, Mommy.”
I smiled ‘cause even drunk, even high, even half asleep on his feet, this man knew how to love me in ways I ain’t even know I needed. His arms tightened just a lil’ around me, and he kept one hand on my stomach.
The water was warm, and his body was warm, and everything in my world felt calm, full, and right.
And as I laid here in my husband’s arms, all I could think about was how this was our family now. This was our moment, our love, and every single thing we went through led us right here in this water, in the quiet and in the comfort of each other.
It was past midnight, and I could barely sleep.
Kay’Lo was knocked out beside me, laid on his stomach with one arm thrown across my waist like he still needed to hold me even in his dreams. The covers was pushed down to our hips from when we made love earlier, and the room still smelled like him.
His skin was warm against mine and the soft rise and fall of his breath felt calmin’, but my mind wouldn’t shut up.
I kept replayin’ today over and over, and every time I thought about somethin’ new, my heart filled up with that warm, full feelin’ all over again.
All day I had been wrapped in love. People had shown up for us in a way I ain’t even expect, and even though the only person from my side who there was Sha’Nelle, I wasn’t mad.
My family been divided ever since Kay’Lo killed my cousin, and half of them still blamed me ‘cause I stayed with him. They never cared to know the truth about what really happened, and honestly, a lot of my trauma came from them anyway. So the longer I lived my life away from all that mess, the more I realized I wasn’t missin’ nothin’.
I turned my head and looked at Kay’Lo. He was sleep like he had been runnin’ all day, his lashes long against his cheek and his lips parted just a lil’. I leaned in and kissed him soft on his mouth, just enough for me to feel him stir a bit before he settled again.
I eased out of the bed so I wouldn’t wake him, grabbed my robe from the closet, and slipped it on.
My phone was on the dresser and I picked it up before headin’ out the room.
The hallway was dim, and the house was quiet in a way it wasn’t earlier with everybody laughin’ and talkin’ and yellin’ behind Kay’Lo when he hit that last target.
Pink dust was still stuck on half the bushes outside, and I knew it wouldn’t wash all the way out for days.
When I got downstairs and stepped into the backyard, the night air brushed across my skin, and the whole space looked peaceful.
There was pink everywhere, floatin’ across the grass and sittin’ on the tables.
I walked over to one of the tables and took a seat, lettin’ myself fall back into the moment.
I couldn’t believe I was really about to bring a baby into this world.
Me…Toni… The same girl who used to act a damn fool and ain’t care who knew it.
I had been wild and reckless and stubborn, thinkin’ I ain’t need nobody but myself, and now here I was, married to a man who loved me harder than anybody ever had, pregnant with our daughter, and feelin’ myself change in ways I never thought I would.
I smiled thinkin’ about the way Kay’Lo looked when that sixth target exploded.
His mouth dropped a lil’ at first like he couldn’t believe what he was seein’, then he looked at me with so much joy it almost made me fall apart all over again.
And then Pressure picked his grown ass up like he ain’t weigh shit, runnin’ him across the yard while everybody screamed and laughed.