Chapter 4
Trill-Land, ’LoLux Estate
Kay’Lo still wasn’t back home, and I felt like this day had been draggin’ me across concrete by my damn throat.
By the time night had settled all the way over the mansion, my nerves were so tore up, I ain’t even feel like myself no more.
Every part of me hurt. My eyes burned from cryin’, my back was killin’ me, and my stomach felt tight and heavy with My’Love sittin’ low like she already knew the world outside my body was in shambles and was tryna curl up from all the stress.
I had been sittin’ on the couch with Sha’Nelle all day in one of Kay’Lo’s shirts and a pair of soft shorts that barely fit over my stomach. I looked a mess, felt a mess, and couldn’t stop thinkin’ about the mess I had made.
Sixteen whole fuckin’ hours passed, and my husband still wasn’t home.
That number kept beatin’ against my head. Every time I looked at the time on my phone, I felt sicker, ’cause it was like time was movin’ and not movin’ at the same damn time.
Mornin’ had come and gone, and the afternoon had dragged its raggedy ass through my livin’ room.
Evenin’ had settled in. Then night came, and I was still sittin’ here with no word from Kay’Lo.
There was no call, no text, no nothin’. The only thing I did know was that the police had him, and they was probably askin’ him every question in the world about a murder I committed.
Every time that thought came back around, my stomach would twist so hard I’d have to grab my belly and breathe through it.
I kept seein’ Echo laid out on that wet pavement.
I kept seein’ the rain hittin’ her face.
I kept hearin’ her ugly ass voice talkin’ about my child and my husband and my life like she had any right.
Then, right behind that would come the part that tore me up the worst, which was knowin’ I had made everything harder for Kay’Lo when he was already fightin’ for his damn life.
Sha’Nelle had been doin’ everything she could think of to keep me from losin’ it all the way.
She had made me eat food I barely touched and forced me to sip water when I said I ain’t want nothin’.
She rubbed my feet for a while when my ankles started swellin’ up, and she kept pullin’ soft blankets over me whenever I got cold, even though my body kept switchin’ from hot to cold every few minutes.
She had moved my pillows around behind my back at least ten times, tryna make me comfortable, and she kept bringin’ me lil’ snacks I couldn’t even look at.
At one point, she sat beside me, oilin’ my scalp in silence like I was a child, and that almost broke me worse than anything ’cause it made me realize just how bad off I looked.
Outside, it had been chaos since early this mornin’.
The news vans had lined up down the street first, then the reporters had started gatherin’ near the gate like vultures waitin’ on somethin’ to die all over again.
Every time somebody opened the front door or one of the staff moved near the front windows, cameras started flashin’ and microphones came up.
People started shoutin’ questions nobody in this house was about to answer.
They kept sayin’ Kay’Lo’s name. They kept sayin’ Echo Lennox’s name.
They kept bringin’ up Rioh, Jaqwon, the trial, the Attorney General, corruption, retaliation, and all kinda shit that made my head throb.
Roderick Lennox still hadn’t shown his face one time, and that part made everything feel worse.
Usually, that man was somewhere in front of a camera with that fake polished voice and them cold dead eyes, talkin’ like he was the only person in Trill-Land who understood justice.
Usually he was loud. He was visible and somewhere performin’ grief and power at the same time.
But now that all three of his kids was dead, his ass had gone silent, and that silence felt more dangerous than anything he could’ve said.
The silence made me think he was somewhere plottin’.
The silence made me think maybe Kay’Lo was gettin’ dragged through hell in some interrogation room while Roderick sat back and let other people do his dirty work.
The silence made me think maybe they had already decided my husband did this and they ain’t need no proof.
Treasure had called me so many times through the day that her name felt burned into my phone screen.
Every time she called, her voice sounded tighter and more tired than the time before.
She was at the jail with the rest of the family, and from the way she made it sound, all them powerful people and all them deep pockets and all them names that usually opened doors wasn’t doin’ much of shit for them right now.
Nobody was tellin’ them nothin’. Nobody was givin’ them answers or lettin’ nobody see Kay’Lo.
They just kept gettin’ the same cold lines over and over, and every time Treasure called she sounded more pissed off and more worried.
Kwame was there. Renza, Pressure, their lawyers and everybody else was there, and still nobody could tell me what the fuck they was doin’ to my husband.
That was the part that had my mind goin’ dark, ’cause if the Mensahs couldn’t get to him, then what the fuck was happenin’ behind them walls?
At one point today, investigators had all but took over this house.
They had been all in the foyer, all down the hallways, in the office, in the garage, askin’ questions with them blank lookin’ faces like they was just doin’ a job.
They had checked drawers, closets, walls, rooms, and every inch they could get their hands on.
All I could do was sit there with my stomach out and my face puffed up from cryin’ and tell lie after lie in the calmest voice I could make come out my mouth.
I told them Kay’Lo had been home with me.
I told them we had been focused on gettin’ ready for our baby.
I told them his mind had been on me and on My’Love and on this house and not on no outside bullshit.
I told them he always came home after dealin’ with the pressure from the trial and stayed with me ’cause I was eight months pregnant and we was preparin’ to bring our child into the world.
And while I was sayin’ all that, I was feelin’ like I might throw up on they shoes, ’cause I knew good and damn well I had stepped outside this house, took my husband’s gun, found Echo, and turned all our lives upside down with my own two hands.
They ain’t find nothin’, though… and nobody, not even Sha’Nelle knew what I had done.
Kay’Lo had already cleaned the house out before the sun even thought about risin’.
Every gun was gone. The one I used was gone too.
The cameras had been removed. Anything that could’ve connected back to us had disappeared like it was never there, and if I hadn’t lived it myself, I probably would’ve thought I imagined the whole damn night.
That was my husband all over…
Even with the world closin’ in, and even with me fallin’ apart in his arms, he had still thought enough to protect me first. And that thought made me cry all over again.
By the time midnight rolled around, I was wore out in a way sleep couldn’t even fix.
Sha’Nelle was curled up on the other end of the couch with one leg tucked under her and her phone in her hand, but she wasn’t really scrollin’.
She kept lookin’ over at me every few minutes like she was scared to blink too long and miss me losin’ my mind.
“You need to lay yo’ damn ass down,” she said after a while.
“I can’t,” I replied.
“You been sayin’ that for hours.”
“And I still can’t,” I muttered, rubbin’ my stomach. “I’m not about to go lay down while my husband somewhere with them people and I don’t know what the fuck they doin’ to him.”
Sha’Nelle sighed and set her phone down. “Ain’t nobody doin’ nothin’ to him that he can’t handle.”
I turned my head and looked at her. “That ain’t the point.”
“I know it ain’t the point,” she said, and her voice got softer. “I’m just sayin’ you gotta stop wearin’ yourself out. This Kay’Lo we talkin’ about. Not no weak ass nigga that’s just gon’ let them people take him out.”
The way she said it should’ve made me feel better, but it made my chest ache instead, ’cause I wanted to believe that so bad and at the same time my mind kept showin’ me all the ways that might not happen.
What if they kept him overnight again? What if they charged him with Echo too?
What if they decided he was too dangerous to let out?
What if they jumped and beat his ass in there?
What if he was sittin’ in some cold room right now and thinkin’ I had ruined everything?
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, and all I saw was him kneelin’ in front of me this mornin’ before he left, kissin’ My’Love through my stomach and tellin’ her to stay in there ’til he got back.
My eyes opened again and filled right up. I pressed both hands over my face and cried into them. I hated the sound of myself cryin’ like this ’cause it made me feel weak and young and stupid all at the same time.
Two more hours passed, and the silence started crawlin’ all over me. I could hear the low sound of the TV and the soft tap of rain against some part of the house. Underneath all that, I could hear my own thoughts gettin’ louder.
Then I heard somethin’ else…
It was a sound at the front door.
It was small at first, just enough to make me lift my head. Then it came again, and this time it sounded like the knob was jigglin’.
Sha’Nelle sat up straight. “You hear that?”
I was already pushin’ myself off the couch.
My heart started poundin’ so hard it made my stomach feel hollow.
For one wild second, I thought maybe it was police comin’ back with more questions or maybe somebody had found a way on the property or maybe this was just one more thing waitin’ to break me tonight.
I walked toward the door fast as my body would let me with one hand under my stomach and the other braced against the wall for balance. Sha’Nelle was right behind me, but I barely felt her there. All I could hear was my pulse in my ears.
I looked through the lil’ glass panel beside the door and my whole body went weak.
It was Kay’Lo.
I yanked that door open so fast my hand slipped on the handle. The second it swung wide enough for me to get through, I threw myself at him.
He caught me easy with one arm comin’ around my back and the other hand goin’ straight to my belly like his body had been missin’ us both all damn day. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started cryin’ before I could stop myself, and he kissed me deep right in the doorway.
I melted all into him. I ain’t care who saw.
I ain’t care that my face was wet and swollen and ugly from cryin’.
I ain’t care that Sha’Nelle was behind me or that this day had chewed me up and spit me out.
All I cared about was that my husband was in front of me, warm and real, and holdin’ me like he promised he would.
His mouth moved slowly against mine, and his hand rubbed over my stomach in circles.
I could feel the tension in him even through the way he was kissin’ me.
He pulled back just enough to look at my face, and even though he looked tired and rough around the edges, he was still the finest thing I’d ever seen in my life.
“Told you I wasn’t gon’ be gone long, baby,” he murmured.
I let out a broken sound that might’ve been a laugh and might’ve been another cry, then I kissed him again and again and again ’cause I couldn’t help myself.
My hands was all over his face, his chest, his neck and everywhere like I was checkin’ to make sure every part of him was still really here.
He dropped his head and kissed My’Love through my shirt, and that right there damn near took me out ’cause it was so him.
All this chaos, and all he cared about first was touchin’ me and his baby.
I clutched his face and kissed all over him, his mouth, his cheek, his jaw, and I ain’t even care how desperate I probably looked ’cause I had been sittin’ in this house all day, thinkin’ every ugly thought in the world, and now he was here.
Then, I heard footsteps behind him…
I lifted my head and looked past Kay’Lo’s shoulder. A tall, white dude was walkin’ up behind him.
I frowned and looked back at Kay’Lo, confused as hell. Before I could even ask, Kay’Lo slid his hand over my stomach again and said, low and calm,
“Baby, this my potna… Kelli.”