Chapter 5
Trill-Land, ’LoLux Estate
“Kelli?” Toni asked, lookin’ between me and him like she was tryna piece some shit together that wasn’t quite clickin’ yet.
I kept my hand low on her stomach, my thumb movin’ slow over her through my shirt she was wearin’ while I glanced back at him.
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s him.”
Kelli stepped up and reached his hand out to her, keepin’ it respectful. “Nice to finally meet you,” he said. “Heard a lot about you.”
Toni hesitated for a second like she was unsure, and I could see it all over her face that she was tryna figure out why the hell he was even here, but she still reached out and shook his hand. “All good things, I hope,” she said, her tone even, but it carried that quiet question under it.
He gave a small nod. “Only the kind that matter.”
She let his hand go and shifted a lil’ closer to me without even thinkin’ about it, like her body needed to feel me right here while her mind was still tryna catch up. I slid my arm around her waist, pullin’ her into my side while I looked over at Sha’Nelle.
“Sha’Nelle… this Kelli,” I said. “He good.”
Sha’Nelle looked him over real quick, then stepped forward and held her hand out. “Oh, okay. Nice to meet you.”
Kelli took it, and I caught how he held it just a second too long. It wasn’t long enough to make a scene, but the shit was long enough for a nigga to clock it. My eyes flicked to Sha’Nelle for a second before I let that shit go.
“You can sit down here for a minute,” I told him, noddin’ toward the couch. “I’mma be back.”
I’m straight,” he replied.
I ain’t say nothin’ else after that. I just took Toni’s hand and led her upstairs, feelin’ how sweaty and tight her fingers wrapped around mine the moment we hit the steps, like she had been holdin’ herself together all damn day and finally had somewhere to put it.
By the time we got in the room, she ain’t even give herself a second.
She turned and threw herself onto me, her arms comin’ around my neck, pressin’ into me so tight it made my chest hurt.
I caught her easily, my hands movin’ over her without thinkin’.
One slid up her back while the other dropped over her stomach out of bad habit, holdin’ her right here where she belonged.
She buried her face into my chest, her breath warm against my skin. I felt how hard she was holdin’ onto my neck like she needed to make sure I wasn’t going to walk back out that door.
I just held her close, my chest pressed to hers, my hand movin’ slow over the side of her belly while everything in me started settlin’ now that I was back where I was supposed to be.
But my mind ain’t stay still…
My mind kept driftin’ back to what she did, and no matter how much I tried to stay with her in that moment, I couldn’t stop seein’ it play out in my head.
It was the way she really snuck out this bitch, eight months pregnant, movin’ like nothin’ could touch her, and like she ain’t have my child sittin’ low in her stomach, dependin’ on her to make it back in one piece.
and then actually pullin’ that trigger like it wasn’t real consequences that came behind that shit.
That shit sat different with me, and it wasn’t ’cause I ain’t understand why she did it, but ’cause I knew how easily that could’ve gone the other way. If it had, I wouldn’t be standin’ here holdin’ her right now.
I was so irritated about the dumb shit she did. My jaw tightened a lil’, and I let a slow breath out through my nose, my hand flattenin’ over her stomach like I needed to ground myself in the fact that she was still here, still safe, and still carryin’ My’Love after all that reckless shit.
She sniffed against my chest, and that pulled me back to her.
I leaned back just enough to look at her, liftin’ her face with my hand so I could see her for real. Them tears slidin’ down her cheeks did somethin’ to me I ain’t even feel like dealin’ with right now.
I ain’t say nothin’. I just looked at her, ’cause I couldn’t bring myself to express how pissed off I was at her ass. She swallowed and pressed her lips together like she was tryna hold it in, but it still came out. “I’m sorry.”
That sat between us in a heavy way that ain’t need no extra words on it. I took a breath deep enough to feel it in my chest before I let it out slow, still lookin’ at her while I sorted through everything in my head that I wasn’t about to dump on her at that moment.
Instead, I leaned in and kissed the side of her cheek, right under her eye, then let my hand drop back over her stomach, rubbin’ it slow.
“Baby… you need a bath,” I told her, noticin’ that her body was hot and sweatin’ like she was nervous.
She looked like she wanted to say somethin’ else, but I wasn’t givin’ her room for it.
I walked her into the bathroom and turned the water on. She stood there watchin’ me for a second, still anxious and all over the place, but she ain’t fight me on it.
I stepped behind her and slid my hands over her shoulders, workin’ the tension out of ’em slow until I felt her body start to give in just a lil’ bit.
“Chill,” I murmured.
She let out a breath, and I helped her out of her clothes, movin’ careful around her stomach, takin’ my time with her until I eased her into the tub.
Soon as the water hit her, I saw it in her face when her body finally started lettin’ go. I stayed right there, washin’ her slow, my hands movin’ over her like nothin’ else mattered more than takin’ care of her and our child. Every now and then, my hands would settle over her belly and rub it.
By the time I got her out and wrapped her in a towel, she was softer in my hands; not as tense or as wound up. I walked her back into the room and sat her down before I grabbed the lotion that helped with her stretch marks.
She watched me, real quiet now. I poured some in my hands before settin’ them on her stomach, spreadin’ it over her skin slow, takin’ my time with her like I always did.
Her belly was full, tight, and heavy under my hands.
I moved over it careful and firm enough to try to wake My’Love, but gentle enough not to make her uncomfortable.
Her hand came up to the top of my head, her fingers slidin’ through my hair slow while I worked.
I leaned down and kissed her stomach, then again, my hand still movin’ over her.
“You feel her?” she asked real soft.
“Mmmhhmm,” I murmured, my voice low.
My hand shifted, followin’ the movement under her skin, feelin’ lil’ parts of My’Love pressin’ up against my palm like she was right there meetin’ me halfway.
Her stomach pushed up in one spot, tight and pointed, like she was stretchin’ out against me. I pressed my hand over it, rubbin’ slow circles over that spot until it eased back down, then slid my hand to the side when she moved again, feelin’ another push come right after it.
I let out a low, irritated breath through my nose while I leaned in and kissed right where My’Love pressed out, holdin’ it there for a second like I was really lockin’ in with her.
“Aye…” I whispered against Toni’s stomach, my hand stayin’ right there, movin’ with my daughter every time she shifted like she was followin’ my touch, and I was followin’ hers right back.
I kept rubbin’ over her slowly, my palm pressin’ just enough to feel her move, then easin’ up when she settled. Then followin’ her again when she kicked somewhere else, like we was really sittin’ here goin’ back and forth without sayin’ a word.
I stayed like that with her for a minute, just rubbin’ her little body like I already had her in my hands.
By the time I looked up again, Toni’s eyes was closed and her body had sunk back, her breathin’ slowin’ down until I realized she had fallen asleep on me.
I sat for a second, still rubbin’ her stomach and lookin’ at her like I was tryna take it in before I moved. Then I eased my hands away, readjusted her body, pulled the covers up over her, and kissed her forehead before I stood up.
The room felt different once Toni was knocked out. It was quieter in a way that let everything come back to me whether I wanted the shit to or not. When I stepped out into the hallway, my mind went right back to what was waitin’ on me outside this house.
Yeah, them bitches let me walk today, but that ain’t mean shit was done, and I already knew that.
It just meant I handled what needed to be handled for Toni, but now I had to deal with everything that was still sittin’ in front of me, and at the same time, make sure she ain’t put us in no position like this again. ’Cause I loved her, but I couldn’t fully trust her.
And I wasn’t about to let her keep movin’ reckless and think that shit ain’t come with consequences.
An hour or two passed, and me and Kelli was out back choppin’ it up, the night sittin’ quiet around us while the smoke from the blunt curled up slowly into the air.
I was leaned back in the chair with my glass sittin’ low in my hand, lettin’ the liquor settle while I listened to him talk. Every now and then, I brought the blunt to my lips and took a pull, lettin’ that shit sit in my chest for a second before I let it go.
“Real shit, though,” I said after a minute, glancin’ over at Kelli while I passed it his way, “I appreciate you pullin’ up like that. Niggas outside my family don’t be movin’ like that for real.”
Kelli caught the blunt from me and shook his head a lil’ like I had said somethin’ regular. “Man, that ain’t shit,” he replied, bringin’ it to his lips before he took a drag. “Ain’t like I had anything holding me in Candy County anyway.”
I turned my head a lil’ more toward him at that, my brows pullin’ together just enough while I took another sip of my drink. “What you mean by that?” I asked, watchin’ him closer.
He let the smoke fall out his mouth slow before he leaned back deeper into his chair with one arm restin’ along the side while he stared out into the yard like he was lookin’ past it.
“I caught my ex with my brother,” he said, like that shit ain’t carry no weight at all.