Chapter 11 TONI ROC
Trill-Land, ’LoLux Estate
Whew… I ain’t gon’ lie… bein’ in labor with My’Love wore my ass the fuck out, but she was finally here, and the second I felt her in my arms, all that pain I had just went through started sittin’ different in my body.
Don’t get me wrong, it was still there, lingerin’ in my bones and my stomach, but it wasn’t the same kind of pain no more.
It was like my body was tryna come back to itself while my heart was doin’ somethin’ completely different, and all I could focus on was the little girl layin’ against me.
My whole body still felt weak, my legs shaky under the water, and my breathin’ uneven from everything I had just pushed through, but I couldn’t even think about none of that for real, especially not when I was lookin’ down at my world.
My baby… my daughter… My’Love.
I kept blinkin’ slow like I was tryna make sure this wasn’t somethin’ my mind made up to get me through that pain, but she was right here, warm against my chest, movin’ just enough to remind me that she was real.
All I could think about while I was in pain was Kay’Lo.
Every contraction that hit me, every time my body felt like it was bein’ pulled apart from the inside, he was right there, holdin’ me, kissin’ on me and talkin’ to me, lettin’ me know he wasn’t gon’ let me go through none of it alone. And I held on to that. I held on to him.
There was moments where I felt like I couldn’t do it, like my body was givin’ out on me, and then I would feel his hands on me, hear his voice in my ear, feel his lips on my skin, and it was like somethin’ in me would pull back together just enough to keep goin’.
And now here we was…
I shifted just a lil’ in the pool, my body still sore and sensitive, and I looked down at my baby again, really lookin’ this time, takin’ in every small detail like I needed to memorize her right now before time started movin’ again.
“She so pretty…” I whispered, my voice soft and tired, but full in a way I couldn’t even explain.
Her skin was so smooth and had a soft glow to it like she had been kissed by both of us, and her little face…
she looked just like her daddy, and when her eyes started flutterin’ open just a lil’, I swear my heart damn near gave out on me.
That brown hazel color sat right there in them pretty eyes, soft and deep, with that hint of green tucked in it dependin’ on how the light caught it, just like Kay’Lo and his mama’s eyes.
“Oh my God…” I breathed out, my fingers shakin’ a lil’ as I touched her cheek. “She got your eyes…”
Kay’Lo was still behind me, his chest pressed against my back and his arms around both of us like he wasn’t lettin’ neither one of us go no time soon. I could feel his hands movin’ slow over her back, caressin’ her. I knew he was deep in his feelin’s ’cause he was too quiet.
“That’s my baby…” he finally murmured low, his voice different now. It was softer but still him, but just… heavier, like this moment was sittin’ on him the same way it was sittin’ on me.
I leaned back into him a lil’ more without even thinkin’, lettin’ my body rest against his while I held our daughter, and tears slid down my face again, but it wasn’t like before. This wasn’t pain. This was somethin’ else.
“I really did it…” I whispered, my voice breakin’ a lil’. “I really had her…”
“You did that shit,” he said low, pressin’ his lips to the side of my head. “You brought my baby here…”
That made me cry harder, but I smiled at the same time, shakin’ my head ’cause I still couldn’t believe this was my life.
I had been through so much shit, seen so much shit, lived a whole different kind of life before this, and now I was sittin’ here in a birthing pool, holdin’ me and my husband’s baby while he held me.
I never thought I’d be here.
I never thought I’d be somebody’s wife like this… hell, somebody’s mother.
Treasure moved around us, handlin’ what needed to be handled, her presence calm but emotional at the same time. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at My’Love. She was in love already.
“My sweet ‘Lo’Lo…” she murmured, her hand comin’ up to touch her gently. “Look at you… you made your grand entrance all on your own.”
I let out a small laugh through my tears. “She really did, though.”
Kay’Lo stayed right where he was while Treasure worked, his hands never leavin’ our baby with his chin rested light against my shoulder. He kept lookin’ at our baby like he couldn’t get enough.
After a while, everything got handled, and I got cleaned up and moved into the bed in our personal delivery room.
I was dressed in black, with My’Love still right here in my arms, as I breastfed her, not ready to let her go just yet.
Kay’Lo had been on his phone nonstop, walkin’ around the room talkin’ loud, tellin’ everybody what happened and relayin’ messages back to me ’cause my phone was upstairs.
“Pluto said she cryin’,” he said, smirkin’ while he looked at me. “Sha’Nelle keep askin’ for pictures… she blowin’ my shit up.”
I laughed soft, shakin’ my head, ’cause his ass was a mess.
“They excited,” ‘Lo said. Then he glanced down at the baby again. “Everybody been waitin’ on her.”
He got cleaned up quick after that and climbed into the bed with me, settin’ himself up close so we was both right here with My’Love, and for a second, it felt like the whole world shut down just for us.
Treasure stayed for a lil’ while longer, talkin’ to My’Love, holdin’ her, kissin’ her. I watched her with a soft smile on my face ’cause it meant somethin’ seein’ her like that. It was beautiful seein’ how much love was already pourin’ into my baby from every direction.
Eventually, she stepped back and looked at us. “I’m going to give you both some time,” she said real gentle. “I love you.”
“Thank you. We love you too,” I told her, my voice still soft.
She kissed my forehead, then Kay’Lo’s, and then she left the room, closin’ the door behind her.
I looked down at My’Love again, and right on cue, she tried to open her eyes, slow and lazy, like she was still figurin’ out this whole world thing, and I felt myself fall all over again.
“She so beautiful…” I whispered.
Kay’Lo looked down at her, noddin’ slowly. “Hell yeah, she is.”
“She look just like you,” I added, smilin’ a lil’ as I glanced up at him.
That made him smirk, but it wasn’t cocky like usual. It was softer, and prouder.
“That’s ’cause she mine,” he replied as his hand came up to brush over her head.
After a minute, I carefully passed her to him, watchin’ the way he took her like she was the most important thing in the world… because she was. When he laid her against his bare chest, that was it for me. That was the moment I fell deeper in love.
He kissed the top of her head, real slow, and gentle, like he was scared to do too much but still couldn’t help himself. He kept doin’ it every few seconds, just pressin’ his lips to her like he needed to feel her there.
“I love you…” he murmured to her, his voice low and full.
I watched him, my chest tight in the best way, ’cause I had never seen him like this before. He looked… complete.
After a minute, he looked up at me, and our eyes locked in a way that felt different from anything we had shared in weeks.
All that distance and tension that had been sittin’ between us was gone, and it was just us again, right here in this moment with our baby, like everything finally came back together the way it was supposed to.
He leaned forward, careful not to disturb the baby, and pressed his lips to mine, kissin’ me in a way that felt like he was sayin’ everything he hadn’t said.
I kissed him back just as deep, and full, my hand comin’ up to his face while our daughter rested between us, connectin’ us like nothin’ else ever could.
When we finally pulled back, I leaned down and kissed the top of My’Love’s head, breathin’ her in while I rested my hand over Kay’Lo’s.
And for the first time in a long time…
I felt so complete.