Chapter 10 #2
“You know how he tells you his mama works as one of the waitresses at that tavern there? He only says that so you don’t worry ‘bout him. Remy, that’s Jeremy.”
Remy gasped. “Jeremy!”
Jesse chuckled at her reaction. “Yep.”
Jeremy. The little boy she spoke of every night on her ghost tours. The one who was tragically killed in a carriage accident. Jeremy, for whom overnight guests left toys that they’d swear had been moved the next day. Jeremy.
The door swung open, and one of the other tour guides, dressed as a Union soldier, came in. He eyed Jesse and Remy curiously, probably wondering what they were doing sitting alone together. Everybody knew Jesse had a girlfriend.
“Everything okay?” Rick asked.
“Yes. I’m having personal issues, and Jesse is listening to me whine,” Remy said.
“Okay, then. Better him than me!” Rick said, then added, “Hope you’re okay, Rem.”
“Thanks,” Remy said, standing up. “Let’s get to work!”
* * *
Remy sat nervously on the tour bus, listening to Jesse talk about what had happened at Little Round Top as the bus headed to the battleground.
She’d heard his speech a hundred times, but suddenly the information seemed brand new.
Remy knew lots of facts about the battle, how the 20th Maine had heroically taken on the Confederates in the 15th Alabama and other regiments.
But now she knew one of the Confederates who had died in that battle. It was all too real now.
When they reached their destination, Remy and Jesse helped the tourists get off the bus and instructed them that they were free to wander.
Once everyone had dispersed, Remy glanced over toward the area where she knew Avery was waiting.
She couldn’t see him because of the trees in the way, but she knew he was there.
“I can’t, Jesse. I just can’t. I need more time. Tell him…tell him…I don’t know what to tell him!” Remy cried.
“It’s okay, Remy. Try not to be upset. He wouldn’t want that,” Jesse told her.
Remy nodded. “Well, tell him I’m all right. And that I’m not mad at him! I’m just not ready to see him yet.”
“Okay, darlin’,’” Jesse said with a smile.
Remy felt terribly guilty about not going to see Avery, and she was grateful that Jesse was there to help. He would be kind to Avery and make him feel better the way he had comforted her this morning.
Remy’s emotions were running high, and she just couldn’t face Avery yet. What could she possibly say? How do you talk to a dead man?
The last stop on the tour was the Gettysburg Visitor’s Center, where guests could visit the museum and the gift shop.
Like at the other stops, Jesse and Remy would be around to keep an eye on their tour members and be available to answer any questions, but otherwise the tourists were on their own to explore for a little bit.
Remy walked through the museum and scanned the exhibits. Though she had always found the displays of Civil War artifacts, uniforms, and weaponry interesting, today they seemed to take on a whole new meaning.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the huge wall that was covered in black-and-white photographs of real Civil War soldiers.
She had looked at the wall from time to time and couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to those men.
Many of them had died in the war for sure.
Had they left behind wives and children?
She pictured Lucy and how distraught she became when she spoke about nearly losing Jesse.
The idea of a woman like her receiving news that her love had died in the war was unbearable.
Remy slowly turned and made her way over to the wall of photographs. She recalled Lucy’s words—“Look at that big wall with all the black-and-white photos of the soldiers. Lower right side.”
Remy scanned the wall of photos and gasped at the photograph of the Confederate soldier with those familiar, kind eyes.
Avery.
Her heart lurched. Since Lucy had told her to carefully look at the photographs, she’d known she should expect to find either Jesse or Avery there. Lucy had obviously been offering more proof that what they’d all been telling her was true. But to see it in black and white was still quite a shock.
Remy felt a bit faint, so she held on to the wall with her right hand as she stared at the picture.
Avery looked so handsome in the photograph.
So kind. Remy recalled Jesse’s words about his death.
“He was shot near the heart. It didn’t take long.
” The shock began to wear off slightly, and, for the first time, Remy began to grieve for him.
Avery was dead. He was still here in a different form, but he was dead.
Remy closed her eyes and pictured Avery as she knew him. The gentle soldier who joked with her and said beautiful things to her in Irish.
“Remy?” She heard Jesse’s soft voice coming from right behind her. “Are you all right?”
Remy turned around and said quietly, “He’s really dead, isn’t he?”
Jesse nodded sadly. “Well, his body is. His spirit is still alive and always will be, no matter what. Not even death can stop that.”
She nodded, then turned back to stare at the photograph again.
“He’s still the same man, Remy.”
“I know.”
Remy managed to finish her morning tours, all the while consumed with thoughts of Avery.
By the time she and Jesse got started on the afternoon tours, Remy could hardly stand it anymore.
She needed to see Avery. The thought of him sitting at Little Round Top, alone and dead, probably hoping for her to come see him made her want to cry.
She wanted to see him, but she knew it would be impossible for her to try to talk to him with all those tourists around.
She couldn’t imagine having a friendly chat with him like she used to, pretending nothing had changed.
When they arrived at Little Round Top with their afternoon group, Remy pulled Jesse aside once they got off the bus.
“Jesse, tell him I want to see him, but not now. I just…I can’t with all these people around. Tell him I’ll come see him after work and before my ghost tours start.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Jesse said, his face lighting up. He seemed thrilled to have good news for Avery this time.
Remy couldn’t help but laugh and feel flattered.
If Jesse was this happy, she would love to see Avery’s face when he told him.
Avery really did care about her. I adore you were the words he used.
It was hard for Remy to imagine being adored by anyone, never mind someone as handsome and wonderful as Avery O’Rorke.
Remy was a nervous wreck for the rest of the afternoon.
She was sure she wanted to see Avery, but was second-guessing her request to be alone with him.
She’d never been afraid of ghosts, no matter how many ghost stories she heard or how late at night she wandered the allegedly haunted streets of Gettysburg.
She’d never been afraid because she’d never believed in ghosts.
Now that she knew they were real, would she freak out when she was alone with Avery?
Remy knew it was best to meet with him privately.
She needed to talk to him and ask him questions about things they couldn’t talk about in public.
Besides, she found the idea of being alone with him made her equally nervous and excited.
It would be wonderful to finally have some private time with him.