Chapter 20 #2
Ellis couldn't believe how badly he had hurt Lucy, how he had unfairly blamed her for another woman’s betrayal of him.
Ellis had always thought of Lucy as some kind of cheap slut for having sex with Jesse at the bar, but now he allowed himself to see the real story.
She had been enjoying a sexual adventure with the man she loved and, knowing how shy and reserved she was, it was a brave thing for Lucy to do.
She wasn’t some cheap harlot who was cheating on her man.
She was with Jesse, the love of her life.
Ellis remembered the rest of the encounter he had witnessed that day.
The way Jesse had gathered Lucy into his arms, tenderly lifting her up off the bar and setting her on her feet.
Then he had wrapped his arms around her and had told her, “You are my fantasy.
" He treated her with tenderness, and Ellis knew he probably took her home and held her in his arms when they got back to their own bed.
A sharp stab of guilt pierced Ellis’s heart.
He was a monster for taunting Lucy about that night, destroying a private, precious memory of hers and using it for ammunition.
Any woman would have felt violated by such an intrusion, but it must have been even more painful for sweet, shy Lucy.
It must be excruciating for her to know that Ellis had watched her having sex.
Ellis ached to tell Lucy how sorry he was for all the horrific things he had done to her. Even after he had taunted her mercilessly, she was still kind enough to want to help him. And what had he done? Set a cruel trap for her, leading her to agony like an innocent, trusting lamb to the slaughter.
Oh, Lucy, I’m so sorry. How he ached to say those words to her. Ellis knew Jesse wouldn’t allow him anywhere near her, and who could blame him? Ellis decided he would at least try to speak to Lucy long enough to tell her how sorry he was for hurting her.
Ellis knew he was unspeakably evil and utterly beyond redemption.
If he weren’t already dead, he would have killed himself.
He knew that this waking nightmare of an existence was his penance for being a horrible human being, in life and in death.
He could barely vanish to escape the pain of his memories.
He was haunted day and night by his past sins.
He no longer feared eternal damnation, for he knew it was what he deserved.
* * *
Remy saw Jesse standing outside on the patio of the tavern, keeping watch while Lucy cleaned up the outdoor tables.
“Everything okay?” Remy asked as she and Avery walked up to them on the street. Remy didn’t have a ghost tour that night, so she and Avery wanted to stop by and make sure Ellis wasn’t bothering Lucy.
“Yeah,” Jesse said, his face grim. “No sign of him yet.”
“If he’s smart, he’ll stay away. I wouldn’t want to mess with you!” Remy said with a smile. Jesse’s face relaxed into a smile, too, and he looked more like his usual, sweet self.
Lucy gasped suddenly, and Jesse whipped his head around to see what was wrong with her. He followed her gaze and, sure enough, the dreaded, black-hatted man was walking down the street heading right toward the tavern.
Jesse began to charge forward, but Lucy said firmly, “No, Jesse.” He turned to see that Lucy had a look of strong determination on her face. “I want to talk to him.”
Jesse looked into her eyes, then slowly nodded. Remy could see it was tearing him up inside not to go charging after Ellis and protect Lucy from him, but he respected her wishes. She had the right to confront her attacker if that was what she wanted.
Remy watched with pride as Lucy’s shock at seeing Ellis turned to anger and strong resolution. She was done being his victim.
Jesse tensed as Lucy strode right up to Ellis where he stood at the railing that separated the restaurant’s outdoor tables from the street. She stared him straight in the eye and spoke in a strong, unwavering voice.
“I want to make something perfectly clear. I no longer care that you saw Jesse and I having sex in the bar here,” she said, gesturing toward the inside of Meade’s Tavern.
Remy and Avery exchanged shocked looks. Clearly, neither Lucy nor Jesse had let either of them in on that little secret.
“I will not let you tarnish that wonderful memory of being with the man I love.” Lucy leaned in close to Ellis and stared him down.
“You’re just jealous because all you could do was stand by and eat your heart out while we had sex right in front of you.
You’re jealous because you could never make a woman scream out your name in passion and pleasure the way Jesse makes me cry out his name every… single…time…he makes love to me.”
Jesse’s jaw dropped, his eyes wide, watching Lucy with pure fascination.
“He’s not only an incredible lover, but he’s more of a man than you could ever hope to be,” Lucy went on, her voice only getting stronger the more she spoke.
“Only a sniveling coward would play a horrific trick on someone like you did to me. And that’s what you are.
You’re a coward and a bully, and I…am…not… afraid…of you.”
Ellis stared at Lucy for a moment, his face expressionless. Then he simply disappeared.
Lucy let out a long breath, then turned on her heel. She smiled at Jesse, Remy, and Avery, looking satisfied, peaceful.
“I’m gonna go finish up inside,” she said brightly, then walked into the restaurant.
Jesse, Remy, and Avery all looked at each other, wide-eyed.
Remy grinned at Jesse and punched him on the shoulder. “Way to go, lover boy!”
A slow, proud smile spread across Jesse’s face. He was far too much of a gentleman to have bragged that he’d had sex with Lucy in the bar, but he wasn’t sorry the secret was out. He was also clearly proud of Lucy for standing up to Ellis. He glanced at the tavern where she had just disappeared.
“That’s my girl!”
* * *
Though Remy was thrilled that Lucy had told Ellis off the way she did, she couldn’t believe the guy had the nerve to come to the tavern to harass her.
Remy kept turning over the events in her mind.
She had spent months patiently helping Ellis with his troubles, all the while ignoring his rude comments about her, until he finally agreed to submit to some therapy.
Over time his mean comments had become fewer and farther between, until he was fairly civil most of the time.
She couldn’t understand what had made him suddenly turn on her.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Remy couldn’t get the image of Lucy’s suffering out of her head, and she knew she would never forget the sound of her agonized screams. How could he do such a thing to her? How could anyone do a thing like that?
Remy was agitated all day and found it hard to put on her happy tourist face. She managed to be nice, however, reasoning that her guests didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of her bad mood.
“What’s wrong, a chuisle?” Avery asked the moment she headed toward him during the afternoon tour at Little Round Top.
Remy sighed. She should have known better than to think she could hide anything from him.
“I just keep thinking about Ellis, and…I have to know why he did what he did. I deserve some answers,” Remy said.
“What are you plannin' to do?” Avery asked, looking worried.
“I’m going to confront him after work today,” Remy said firmly. She hadn’t even realized what she wanted to do until the words came out of her mouth.
“Remy, I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Avery said.
“I have to, Avery. He owes me a goddamned explanation!”
“Aye, that he does,” Avery said. “But that doesn’t mean you’ll get one. And God knows what he’ll do.”
“He can’t hurt me, Avery,” Remy said reassuringly.
“That’s what I used to think,” Avery said mournfully. “We all know better now.”
“I have to do this, Avery. Lucy confronted him, and I need to do the same. I really do.”
“Be careful, love,” Avery said, gazing at her sadly.
“I will. Please try not to worry,” Remy said with a soft smile. She blew him a kiss and headed out to find her guests.
Remy went to Culp’s Hill after her day tours ended and around the same time she used to visit Ellis.
All that time wasted. I was an idiot to think there was any hope for him.
She thought of how much pain he had caused Lucy and Jesse, and her anger flared up again.
Thinking of how worried Avery must be feeling pushed her over to the boiling point.
That son of a bitch has one hell of a lot of explaining to do.
Her heart sank when she arrived at Culp’s Hill only to find he wasn’t there. At least, that was what she thought at first. She gasped slightly when Ellis appeared out of thin air. Good thing there weren’t any tourists around.
“Remy!” Ellis exclaimed as he saw her. He looked happy to see her, which angered her even further.
Remy stalked toward where he stood among the usual rocks.
Eyes blazing, she spat out, “Why, Ellis? For my own good, I need to know why you would plan such a vicious attack on the only people on the planet who actually wanted to help you?”
“Oh, Remy, I’m so sorry,” Ellis said, his brown eyes sad and mournful. The man actually did seem genuinely remorseful, but only a damned fool would believe him. And that was what she had been. A damned fool.
“Why?” Remy asked again. “Why would you do such a horrible thing to Lucy? And to me?”
“I-I know it’s no excuse—there is no excuse—I just…I heard you all laughing at me and I just fucking snapped. I’m so sorry, Remy. I wish to God I could take it back!” Ellis’s eyes pleaded with her to believe him.
“What? What are you talking about? I never laughed at you!” Remy shouted, more confused than ever.
“I heard you talking about me with Theresa and Lucy on the street. Y-y-you told them I finally agreed to counseling.”
“Yes!” Remy said, blue eyes blazing. “Which they graciously agreed to even though you treat everybody like dirt!”
“Th-then you all started l-l-aughing at me. I couldn’t hear what you said, but you laughed at me.” Ellis looked haunted by his own words, like he realized that his argument was insane. The idea that having someone laugh at you behind your back should be punishable by physical torture.
Remy racked her brains, trying to remember what they had been talking about on the street that day. She suddenly remembered. Yes, at first they had been talking about Ellis, but soon they were giggling about how hard up for sex Theresa was with her hunky boyfriend out of town.
“We weren’t laughing at you!” Remy screamed, furious at the notion that some idiotic misunderstanding had resulted in Lucy experiencing the agony of Ellis’s gruesome, violent death.
“We were talking about something else when we were laughing! I would never do that to you! I would never have betrayed you!” Remy’s entire body was trembling, and she was too angry to cry.
Ellis let her words sink in. He had an awful time trusting anyone, but she could see that he believed her now. She hadn’t betrayed him, but he had utterly double-crossed her.
“I-I thought…I thought you might have told them all how my mother…how s-she…how s-she—”
“My God, Ellis,” Remy said, her voice a whisper. “How could you think I would ever do such a thing?”
Ellis stared at her dully and said as if in a trance, “I don’t know.”
“I know you had a horrible childhood,” Remy said, her voice quaking. “So did I! But I try to make the world a better place instead of trying to destroy everyone around me. I wouldn’t ever do to somebody else what was done to me. I would never betray or abandon anyone!”
“I know you wouldn’t,” Ellis said, looking deeply into her eyes.
There was a depth of sadness in his face, like he had fallen into a bottomless pit of desperation from which there was no return.
Remy felt pity well up in her, which was terrifying.
NO! She wanted to scream. She felt like she really was dealing with a demon.
Someone so tricky he could make you believe anything.
“Oh, Remy, I’m so sorry,” Ellis said. He sank to his knees and looked down at the ground.
“I was there. I-I saw it happen…I heard her screams….” He looked up into her eyes again, and she saw the raw anguish in his soul.
“And I remember the pain…oh, my God, the pain….and I made her feel it…Lucy probably never hurt anyone in her whole life…and she’s small… God, she’s so small….”
Remy nodded, tears welling up when she remembered how tiny Lucy had looked in Jesse’s arms as she lay there, pale and limp.
“I’m so sorry,” Ellis whispered, and Remy could feel deep in her heart that he meant it. Somehow, she just knew. He wasn’t evil, and he wasn’t lying. He was a shell of a man who was worn down by life and his eternal death.
“Remy, sweet girl, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Still on his knees, Ellis looked down at the ground. And disappeared.
Remy turned and began to walk away. She was shaking, her footsteps unsteady as she headed to her car.
“Remy,” came a deep voice behind her.
Remy gasped and whirled around.
“Oh, darlin’, I didn’t mean to frighten ye!” Avery said, eyes wide.
“Avery!” Remy said, her shoulders slumping with relief.
“I couldn’t let ye go it alone. I’ve been worryin’ about ye all day. Are ye all right?” Avery asked, touching her cheek. The familiar coolness of his touch calmed her.
“Yes. Yes, I’m okay. Thank you for coming to check on me.” Remy said gratefully. Oh, how wonderful it was to be loved. She thought for a moment, then glanced over at where Ellis had disappeared. “I couldn’t see you, but he must have been able to.”
Avery nodded. “He knew I was here.”
Remy stared at where Ellis had been, then back at Avery. “Is he still here?”
Avery nodded. “Yes.”
“I better go,” Remy said, wanting to get out of there. “I love you, Avery. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I love you, too, a chuisle.”