Chapter 32 – Braelyn
brAELYN
“There’s something I want to do today,” he tells me as if it’s the most important thing ever.
“What’s that?” I ask, my mind still heavy with everything even as we’re back to lying in bed, his arms around me, his steady heart by my ear.
He dragged me down and held me and told me every detail about the restaurants in Europe.
We talked it out and figured out a tentative plan.
I’m still pissed he hid it from me, but I don’t want it to be the thing that tears us apart either.
“I want to get a tattoo.”
I giggle. I don’t know why that’s funny. The man has a million tattoos, and I can’t imagine how getting one today requires the level of seriousness he’s exuding.
“Good stuff. I think I want to get one too,” I whisper, and I don’t know why I’m whispering. It feels like a nervous secret for me. I’m a tattoo virgin after all.
“What would you get?” he mumbles, shifting closer to me and kissing the top of my head.
“I was thinking I’d have lick this put above my pubic bone with an arrow pointing down.”
He chuckles and flips me over so he can crawl down my body. “Right here?” He taps the space above my mound.
“That’s the spot.”
“Hmm. I think I already understand the assignment, and I don’t want anyone else touching you here, so that’s a no.”
I peer down at him. “I wasn’t asking for your permission. You’re still in the doghouse a bit, guy.”
He kisses my pussy over my clothes and climbs up me until he’s hovering over me, his hands planted into the mattress. “What else you got, kid?”
“I want a heartbeat on my wrist with a heart on the end, but I think I want the waveform to be abnormal. Maybe tachycardic or V-tach.” I blow out a breath and meet his eyes.
“And I want Nash’s name on my back left shoulder because I feel like he’s my guardian angel and always with me and I want his name there. ”
A smile lights up his face. “I love that. Let’s do it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep. It’s a long drive, though.”
I tilt my head. “Why?”
“The place I go to is in Maine.”
“I thought you had your last one done in Boston.”
“Lenox was in Boston that day and fit me in. He’s the only guy I go to.”
“Then let’s get a move on.”
“Do you forgive me yet?”
“Pfft.” I roll my eyes. “Absolutely not.”
I get a deep, plunging kiss. “I’ll make it up to you.” Then he climbs off me and helps me out of bed.
The drive up to Maine is a long one, but Roman called ahead and secured us spots and now I’m nervouscited, which is nervous and excited in one. At least that’s what one of my patients told me once. It’s a thought that’s been brewing for a while.
The dream I had about Nash back in Mexico won’t leave me. I still can’t remember the details of it, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling. It’s both hope and dread, but I know Nash is the hope part.
It’s funny, every guy I’ve loved has been my best friend.
Maybe that’s what made them so perfect for me at the time.
But Nash was the piece that connected it all and I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t loved him the way I did.
And I wouldn’t have Roman—best friend or lover—without Nash as well.
I can’t think about what-ifs. I can’t dwell on questions I’ll never have answers to.
Life moves. It adjusts and adapts. It changes in the blink of an eye. I came to realize yesterday when all of that madness was happening with the media and Adam that I don’t want to focus on the journey. I want to focus on the path ahead.
That’s why I made that statement.
I also think the press will grow bored of us now.
Regardless, I feel vindicated, no matter what the world thinks about my relationship with Roman.
I told him I loved him, and I meant it. I don’t think there was any other option for me with him.
I was always going to fall for him, which is likely why I never allowed myself to consider the idea of more with him.
I don’t know what will happen with the whole Europe thing.
I work here and I love my job and it’s not realistic for me to bounce around Europe as a nurse, nor am I simply going to follow the guy around.
That’s not who I am. There will be a lot of this that requires faith. Faith in him and faith in us.
Roman has his eclectic play mix going that has everything from rap to R&B to hip hop to old-school rock to eighties electronic to grunge. It’s so much fun, and I love his reaction every time I sing horribly off-key at the top of my lungs. Like I’m doing now to Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’.”
That is until he turns the volume down as we get off the highway and drive into town.
Lavender Lake, Maine, is an adorable, quintessential small town with cute shops and New England flair.
At the very end of the strip is a nondescript building that I know to be Lenox Moore’s shop.
Lenox is best friends with Quinn and Crew’s father, and they basically grew up with his family since they’re all Central Square people.
It’s no surprise to me that this is who Roman trusts with his tattoos. But man is it a schlep up here.
The air is chilly as we step out of Roman’s SUV, and I tuck my hands into my pockets. Roman wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me toward the door but stops before he opens it, his hands on my shoulders and his expression wary.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Okay,” I reply cautiously since his tone is uncertain, if not a little cryptic.
“You might freak out a bit.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “You mean more than I already have today?”
“Yes.”
“Great. Just what my heart needed to hear. You’re scaring me, and I’m already nervous. Plus, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
He releases a breath and turns toward the street, watching the people come and go as they shop, and now my heart is really going haywire.
“Do you have a secret kid I know nothing about or are going to prison or actually moving to Europe forever?”
A smile hits his lips, but he doesn’t respond and what the fuck?
I tug on his shirt, drawing him back to me. “What? Just tell me.”
“The tattoo you saw in Mexico? The one I didn’t tell you about?”
“Yeah?”
His eyes hold mine. “It’s half of an infinity symbol.”
My eyebrows draw together. “Okaaay. Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I don’t get the big deal with this. He’s scaring the shit out of me over a half an infinity symbol?
“Because I had half of it inked when I came back to Boston and had decided I was finally ready to make my move on you. I told myself I’d get the other half done when I had made you mine.”
My lips form a giant O and my eyes are bulging out of my head cartoon-style.
“You got an infinity tattoo for me?”
“Half of one. Today I plan to get the other half.”
Jesus. Way to knock the wind out of me.
“It’s on your left ring finger.”
His fingers trickle along my cheek. “Brae, you’re my forever. How I feel about you is infinite. After the morning we had together, it’s even more important that I prove that to you. My words only go so far. My actions are what you need.”
“Wow. I don’t even know what to say.”
He studies me. “Are you against it?”
“No. It’s not that.” I hug him, pressing my cheek to his chest over his heart. “All this time you felt like this, and I didn’t know.”
“Baby, I don’t just love you one way. I love you all the ways there are.
It’s my certainty. The one thing I’m always sure of and have never wavered on.
Not once. No matter how difficult or painful it got.
You said we’re each other’s forever, and that’s unchanged.
It’s why I had half of it done. But the other half is for all the things we’ll be and what our future will look like together. ”
“God, Roman. How do you have a heart like this, and how am I the one who gets to own it?”
“You’re just lucky, I guess.”
I laugh lightly. “Always so humble, Chef Fritz.”
He is actually. That’s kind of what makes him even better.
I look up at him, studying the too-handsome-to-be-real lines of him. “My kids are going to have your face one day, aren’t they?”
“If I’m lucky, they’ll have yours.”
“I want them to be lovers, not fighters.”
“I want them to be both, but how they choose to fight can be up to them.”
I guess I can live with that.
My nose scrunches. “You know we’re already married, right? Like how weird is that? We’re dating and married and you’re moving to Europe and we’re talking about babies. We skipped a million steps.”
“I don’t think best friends can ever simply date. They know the other person inside and out, so it’s not trying something on to see if it fits. It already fits or we wouldn’t be here and have risked everything for it.”
“Wow. I seriously love that. Kind of like how I love you.”
A smile splits his lips and makes the corners of his eyes crinkle. “Come on. Let’s go get inked.”
I give him a cheeky smirk. “Yes, sir. Incidentally, I’m going to need you to hold my hand because I may be a nurse, but needles aren’t my favorites when they’re aimed at me.”
“I got you, kid.” He kisses my forehead and leads me inside where it’s warm and very cool. There are awesome photographs on the walls, but not of tattoos. Lenox Moore is sitting behind a long counter, his face on a tablet that he sets down when we enter.
“Hey, man,” he says to Roman as he gets up. The two shake hands.
“Lenox, this is Braelyn. I’m not sure if you’ve met before.”
“I don’t think we have. Nice to meet you.” He shakes my hand.
“You too. Your shop is amazing.”
“Thanks. Roman told me what you’re interested in. How about you go over it more with me before we get started?”
I launch into exactly what I picture in my head, and he listens as he sketches stuff on a piece of paper. He doesn’t talk or input opinions. He just draws, and when he’s done, I squeal in delight at what he’s come up with.