Chapter 22
twenty-two
Stevie
Six Years Later
Chaos fills our new Madison Park house.
Boxes crowd every corner in every room. The faint scent of fresh paint clings to the walls.
I weave through the mess slowly, one hand pressed to the hard curve of my belly. Jude shifts inside me with a kick sharp enough to knock the breath from my lungs and I stop, steadying myself against the doorframe waiting for it to pass.
Eight months pregnant and I can tell he already seems ready to break free. “Please.” I rub him through my shirt. “Four more weeks, buddy. You can do this.”
From somewhere upstairs, a shriek of laughter echoes down the stairwell.
“Mama!” Isla shrieks. “Lila took my bunny!”
“Did not!” my three-year-old yells back, the sound of her little feet pounding after her sister on the hardwood floors above.
“Girls,” I call, more drained than stern. “Slow your roll. The hallways are not a racetrack!”
When Coop and I found out I was surprisingly pregnant again earlier this year, we decided to move to Seattle to be closer to family.
He applied for and received a promotion to CFO for all of the hotel chain’s West Coast operations.
Three weeks later, we virtually toured and closed on this house close enough to my parents’ house, but in an adjacent neighborhood.
This way, we can lean on them when needed but are far enough away so Mom doesn’t show up unannounced with casseroles.
Madison Valley is quiet and leafy, lined with beautifully crafted homes on large plots of land. There’s a ton of space for the girls to run and play in our fenced backyard. The house itself is huge with a master and six bedrooms, enough for each of my children to have their own space.
I’m most excited about the detached guest house where I’ll set up a home office to start my event planning business when the kids are older.
It’s expensive, but exactly what we worked so hard for in New York.
As I plop onto the edge of the couch, I can’t help an invasive thought from creeping in. If I’d stayed with Padraig, I’d probably be somewhere in Europe living adjacent to his rock star life instead of here with my babies.
Thank God I made the right choice. Nothing compares to listening to Isla and Lila tear through the house, feeling my unborn son roll inside me, and having the stability of Cooper, who is a steady and calming presence in all our lives.
“Need a hand?” My sister Joni’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
Dressed casually in a t-shirt and leggings with her brown hair pulled into a messy bun, she pushes through the front door with a bag of Dick’s burgers in one hand and a six-pack of Gatorade in the other..
“Only if you plan to do everything.” I wipe the sweat from my eyebrow.
“Absolutely not.” She grins, dropping onto the couch beside me. “I’m here for moral support and lunch.”
“You’re the worst.”
“I know.” She pops open the top on the Gatorade and offers it to me. “Thirsty?”
“Parched.” I take a long sip. The hydrating sweetness hits my tongue like heaven. Jude shifts inside me again, reminding me he’s taking up every square inch of available space in my body.
“I take it Isla and Lila are upstairs?” Joni glances up the staircase at the sound of tiny elephant feet pounding the floor.
“Yeah. Running in circles.” I shake my head. “I think I heard them say they’re making a fort out of the empty boxes.”
She laughs, then studies me for a beat. “It’s weird seeing you pregnant in person. You’re simultaneously glowing and menacing. You also look like you might murder someone if they look at you sideways.”
“Accurate.” I offer a weak smile. “Pregnancy is…a lot. My feet are the size of loaves of bread. Jude seems to think my bladder is his personal bouncy castle.”
Joni smirks. “My glamorous big-city sister.”
“One more month.” I exhale and rub the top of my belly. “Then we’re done. We’ll have three under seven and I may insist Cooper gets snipped. The man has super sperm. I got pregnant with Isla the first time we had sex. The other two seemed to break through the birth control barrier as well.”
“Now you have your family to help.” She side hugs me. “I’m so happy you’re home. I’ve missed you so much.”
I don’t answer right away. Because I’ve missed her too. I haven’t returned to Washington since the night Padraig and I imploded. Even though I’ve moved on completely, he was such a huge part of my life here. It was too painful to revisit, especially with my husband and growing family.
It feels like the right time, though. Despite my earlier reminiscence, I barely think about Padraig at all anymore… Well, at least not until I moved back to Seattle.
Before I call the girls down for lunch, Joni and I wolf down our burger and fries. We chat about how, in a month, our lives will tilt again with a newborn.
Joni leans forward and nudges my knee. “You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”
“No,” I lie.
Her brow arches. “Stevie.”
I sigh and lean back. “I’m not. Well, I am, but not the way you think. It’s been years since I’ve been in Seattle, so naturally I have thoughts about how different my life would have been if we’d worked through everything…”
She reaches for my hand, squeezing gently. “We all love Padraig and the entire McGloughlin clan. For you, though, Cooper is incredible. You’ve built a beautiful life and you’re able to have everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“We have,” I admit.
Joni studies me for a beat. “Are you happy then?”
I smile at the sound of the girls’ voices from upstairs. “Yeah. I am. Truthfully, I stopped mourning the part of my life I gave to Padraig after we hooked up the last time in New York. He and I had a good run. Our future goals were not aligned.”
“You never told him, did you?” Joni reminds me of the one thing I never disclosed to my husband about Padraig and my relationship.
“No. He knew I went to the show. I never told him Padraig and I had sex and he never asked,” I admit.
“I stand behind the decision, too. Coop and I weren’t officially together.
We didn’t make things official until about a month later.
As you know, the condom slipped the first time we had sex and I got pregnant with Isla.
By this point, we were fully committed to each other and the rest doesn’t matter. ”
As we finish our lunch, I gush about how fundamentally terrific Cooper is. Steady, solid, dependable. Devoted dad. Easy on the eyes. All the things I love about him.
Coop’s the kind of man who always picks up after himself, never forgets my birthday or our anniversary, gets home at six sharp unless something blows up at work.
He devotes himself to making all of our lives easier.
He’s kind to everyone, whether they are high-end clients or cashiers at fast food restaurants.
Our sex is great too. He’s caring and always puts me first. It’s not the all-consuming frenzied fire I once knew with Padraig. It’s a different kind of connection. We have the same hopes and dreams. We like the same things. Value our time at home. Never fight.
The two of us make a conscious effort to fill our house with love.
For each other, our children and the little boy we haven’t met who is currently trying to push his way through my ribs.
The bottom line is I’m looking forward to a lifetime of making memories in this house together and my past with Padraig has no place here.
“In case you’re worried about running in to him, Padraig and Liam are barely in Seattle. They’re constantly on tour or winning Grammys,” Joni reminds me. “You’ll probably not even run into them.”
“Whether I do or not, I’m indifferent,” I insist. “He’s bound to have moved on by now.”
Truth is, the possibility of seeing Padraig is highly likely at some point. Our parents live next door to each other. Enough time has passed, though. If we crossed paths, I could absolutely handle it now.
As for him, who knows.
“Have you watched Ziggy’s live streams from Europe?” Joni changes the subject. “I swear the kid’s allergic to staying in one place for more than a week.”
“I have. My prediction is he’ll wander the entire world and somehow end up exactly where he started.” I smile at the thought of my little brother who, unlike me, harbors a dose of the wanderlust.
“Yep. Back at Mom and Dad’s house,” Joni teases. “Speaking of, they’re somewhere off the coast of Italy right now, living their best cruise life.”
“God, they’re obsessed.” I laugh. “They’ve become the kind of people who plan their next cruise while they’re on the current one.”
“They’re happy.”
“They sure are,” I agree.
“Mommmmmy!” Isla barrels into the living room, bunny in hand. “We made a fort!”
Lila follows, beaming. “Come see!”
“Let’s have a look and then it’s time for you to eat.” I groan as I push to my feet. Carrying a boy is no joke. Jude makes everything about three times harder. “If I get stuck crawling in, you’re responsible for getting me out.”
Joni laughs and follows us up to the great room, where the girls have draped every blanket they could find over the unpacked boxes. It’s crooked and lumpy and perfect.
“Do you like it, Mama?” Lila tugs at my shirt, her face glowing with pride.
“I love it.” I crouch down with effort. “Can I see inside?”
“Yes!” Isla grabs my hand and pulls me toward the entrance.
Joni catches my eye as I lower myself carefully onto the floor. She doesn’t say anything, but her smile says it all.
We both know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.