CHAPTER 17
JORDAN
“How’s she been after last night?” I asked Eli and Asher as soon as I heard the shower running above us. We were working to clean up the mess in the kitchen, Eli loading dishes into the dishwasher and Asher and I trying to clean down the counters, cabinets and everywhere else chocolate had been spread throughout the space.
“She’s been better today, but she’s barely eating, and she’s exhausted after what happened last night. That’s the first time since we arrived I’ve seen her truly relax and look happy. It’s definitely the first time she’s smiled that much,” Eli explained.
“I told her I’m going back to the house to talk with Kane and Adam. She’s worried I’ll beat their asses, but she agreed she needs to know what the fuck they’re playing at,” Ash added.
“I hope you didn’t make any promises about not kicking their asses. God knows I’ve come fucking close every damned day since you guys left,” I told them, my anger about the two assholes back home seeping out.
“Do you have any idea what their intentions are? Addy says they haven’t even tried to reach out to her for several days now. Are they finished with her?” Eli asked as he stopped what he was doing and turned to face me, crossing his arms over his chest. I knew that stance. I hadn’t seen it many times since Addy arrived with us, but it was the determined stance and look he got when he was worried about someone he cared for. I had the privilege of saying he’d done the same thing for me several times when we were younger, when we got into scraps in bars or when I lost my parents, then Adam and just crumbled. Eli had always been there for me, ready and willing to take care of me and protect me the same way I would him, without a single thought of hesitation.
“They’re both still worried about her. They ask me every day if I’ve spoken with her and how she is, but Kane’s still pissed with her for leaving him, and Adam…well, I don’t know. He blames himself for what happened, for you and Addy being taken and I think he’s likely telling himself he no longer deserves Addy in his life. If he is using that will just make everything ten times worse too.”
“How the fuck can Kane be pissed with her when he’s the one that pushed her to breaking point? It was his damned phone call and the shitty things he said to her that made her run,” Asher growled.
“That might have been the final straw, but Ad and I are to blame too. We all let her down,” I admitted.
“I need to talk with them. Addy’s in pieces and their bullshit is just making things worse.”
“Good luck with that, Ash. I’ve spoken with them. I’ve screamed at them. I’ve even punched them both in their fucking faces, We’ve argued and yelled until I’m blue in the face, but they can’t seem to get themselves together and I don’t know what else to do. It’s gotten to the point where I honestly think Addy might be better off without either of them,” I sighed.
“Leave it with me. Don’t say anything to Addy until I’ve been home and spoken with them both myself,” Asher requested and I nodded, relieved I’d be able to just forget about it all for a couple of days and instead just enjoy being with Addy, and taking care of her as I should always have been.
ADDY
The next morning I woke all of a sudden, something not feeling right. I opened my eyes and looked around me, instantly realizing I was laid half on top of Jordan in my room at the cabin. When he’d offered to stay with me the night before as I exhaustedly headed up to bed, I had easily accepted, desperate to have him close for as long as I could.
We’d spent the afternoon together, snuggled up on the sofa, laid down and cuddling as we watched the eighties action movies I loved – which Jordan had brought with him for me. Asher had headed home in Jordans Jeep and Eli had set up in the kitchen with the art supplies and materials Jordan brought for him, so we were alone in our little bubble on the sofa, and it had been perfect. I’d been so exhausted from the events of the night before that I’d snoozed a lot, feeling safe and settled in Jordan’s arms, so we’d barely even spoken, but we didn’t need to. Just being together was enough.
Then we’d wound up in my bed together. I had been anxious about us taking that next step as Jordan pulled me into his arms – not scared. I’d never be scared of Jordan, but just nervous because it would be our first time. But Jordan had just kissed me and told me I needed to rest, then he’d held me tightly until I dozed off into a deep, peaceful sleep.
That was what didn’t feel right I realized as I snuggled back into Jordan’s chest and allowed myself to just breathe. I’d slept. I’d slept right through the night with no nightmares. It was the first time in weeks that had happened, and my body clearly didn’t quite understand what was going on when I awoke feeling calm and well rested.
I kissed Jordan’s bare chest softly as I pushed myself up enough onto my elbow to just lay and watch him sleep. He was laid with one arm wrapped around my back, and the other up beside his head, his hand cradling the back of his head, and he looked to be smiling just slightly as he breathed softly.
He was shirtless, the comforter pulled down low so it covered him to his waist. I took in the lines of the defined muscles that covered his shoulders and biceps. The muscles in his neck were visible too and his chest was hard beneath my hand as I stroked a hand whisper soft over it, not wanting to wake him.
His dark, almost golden skin was such a contrast to my own pale complexion, but it made him look every part the Greek god he was built just like.
I had no idea what he saw in me. Looking the way he did he could have his pick of any supermodel or movie star he wanted, but he’d chosen me. I knew I wasn’t hideous, but compared to most women I saw, I was plain. I didn’t have curves in the right places. I was skinny if anything, and I didn’t wear make up or spend hours fussing with my hair. Hell, I was still in desperate need of a damned haircut and I hadn’t even done a thing about it.
After everything that had happened to me, and the scars that covered my body as a result, the way my hair looked hadn’t really been much of a priority and I wasn’t sure it ever really would be. Sure, I made the effort to look presentable. I had some pride, after all, but things like make up and hair products had never been an important part of my life, and now it would be even less so. There were so many more important things in life than how I looked and I knew it only too well.
Still, maybe it was time I made some effort to tidy myself up a little, especially if I was going to be with Jordan. I tried not to add Kane and Adam to that thought, but it was too hard to exclude them. They were handsome and sexy too, and if I were with them – with any of my three guys – maybe I should try to at least take care of the basics, like cutting my straggly dead ends from my hair every now and then. Maybe some lip gloss and mascara wouldn’t go amiss too. Even before I was taken and I enjoyed being invisible, I still bothered to use those two items of makeup.
“I could get used to waking up with you running your hands over my body, beautiful,” Jordan rasped as his eyes opened and met mine. He smiled widely, looking adorable still half asleep.
“Sorry,” I whispered as I tried to pull back, but Jordan caught my hand, pressing it under his against his chest to stop me pulling away. “I shouldn’t have…I just…you’re so perfect. I had to check it was all real.”
“I’m far from perfect, Addy,” he told me as he moved his other arm from under his head and used it to lift my chin until I was looking at him again. “But I am real and I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now.”
“I’m okay with that,” I replied with a smile.
“Damn right.” He sat up, leaning back against the headboard, then lifted me so I sat sideways across his lap. I leaned into him, my head landing against his chest.
“I feel so much better having you here, Jord,” I confessed. “I love my brothers and I know they’d never let anything happen to me, but this…being close to you like this…it’s different. I feel this calm inside when you’re touching me.”
“I feel it too. It’s like before you came along there was always something missing and I never knew, but now I have you, I can feel how whole you make me. And when you’re in my arms like this I just feel right…everything feels right.”
“Are we gonna turn into one of those love sick couples from a romance novel?” I asked as I looked up at him with a smile.
“It may be too late for us. You’re already my princess, so that must make me your prince charming, right?” he joked as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me even tighter into his body.
“Well, I have to agree you look the part. You just need some fancy clothes and a white horse.”
“I’ll get right on that,” he laughed. “Anything for my princess.”
I looked up at him, needing to see the smile I knew would be stretched across his face, and instantly he bent down until his lips crashed over mine. The kiss was instantly hot and heavy, Jordan gripping my hips and pulling me closer as he devoured my mouth and drove me wild in just seconds. I grabbed his wide shoulders and just hung on as the kiss went on and on. My body started to rock back and forth across his stomach without my permission and I felt the heat within me rising and rising.
“Fuck, Lana. You’re so fucking perfect,” Jordan gasped as he pulled back for a breath, then started placing kisses on my jaw, and down my neck. Little electric tingles ran through my body and I couldn’t stop the way I was rubbing my core against his naked stomach up and down. My breaths were too fast and gasping as Jordan started to run his hands over the thin camisole I wore, up and down my back and over my butt.
“Jordan….more!” I gasped as the feelings within me rose to the point of desperation. Thanks to what Adam and I had done, I knew what I wanted this time.
“Take this off for me, Addy. Let me make you feel good,” Jordan rasped as he ran a finger under the strap of my camisole. I wasn’t nervous at all as I grabbed the hem and ripped the thin top over my head, tossing it aside on the floor.
Instantly Jordan’s large hands cupped around my breasts, and when he softly ran his thumbs over my nipples I moaned in pleasure and leaned back. I pushed my chest closer to him, needing more.
“Jesus, princess. You’re so….” Whatever Jordan was saying was cut off by my brothers loud call.
“Breakfast’s ready down here. Move your asses!” Eli barked, and it was like a bucket of cold water being poured over me. I shrieked as I pressed myself against Jordan, terrified Eli would walk into the room.
“I think I have to kill your brother,” Jordan growled with a groan as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly against him.
“Me too,” I agreed as I clung onto him and tried to calm my breathing back down. I had been so in the zone and ready for whatever came next with Jordan – more than ready actually. Eager. Desperate even – and Eli had gone and ruined it.
“Come on. We should get down there before he comes looking for us,” Jordan told me, but he softened the blow by running a trail of gentle kisses over my bare shoulder.
“I want to stay here,” I whined like a pouting toddler.
“Me too, but maybe it’s not the ideal time with your brother in the house,” he sighed.
“Fine!” I cried as I lifted up onto my knees and wrapped my arms around myself to cover my breasts.
“Don’t hide from me, Addy. You’re even more beautiful when you pout like that,” he told me as he reached up and pulled my hands away from my body. “Fucking perfection,” he added as he leaned in and kissed me just once.
“I’m not perfect either, Jordan,” I told him with a roll of my eyes, but I knew I was also smiling at the heat I could see in his eyes when he studied me. He made me feel wanted and attractive, and that felt amazing.
“You are for me.”
“And you are for me,” I added as I leaned back in and kissed him chastely, just as he had me. When he leaned in for more I pulled back and scampered from the bed, smiling as he tried, but failed to reach for me. “Breakfast’s ready, remember?” I teased as I stood at the foot of the bed, looking over my shoulder at him.
“I really hate Eli right now,” he growled as he flopped backwards on the bed in defeat. I left him there so I could hop in the shower, but it was impossible to remove the smile from my face. Having him there with me was like a balm to the mess and darkness within me, and even though I knew it wouldn’t work to stop everything forever, I felt determined to enjoy the reprieve I got.
***
Eli and Jordan were both sat at the counter drinking coffee and eating breakfast when I walked into the kitchen a while later.
“Morning!” I said happily as I headed straight for the refrigerator to grab a can of Diet Coke. For once I didn’t need the caffeine to bring me to life, after the amazing sleep I got, but it was just my morning habit now. Being with Ash and Eli had given me that luxury. They always made sure the soda was ready and waiting in the refrigerator for me. So did Adam before everything, but I pushed that thought back. I was in a good place and I needed to keep it that way for as long as I could.
“Morning shortcake. You look better this morning,” Eli told me.
“I slept right through,” I told him as I sent Jordan a smile.
“Well, I’m relieved to hear that. Your breakfast is keeping warm in the oven. I made pancakes,” Eli went on.
“’Made’ is hardly an accurate description. You got them out of a packet and heated them in the oven,” Jordan laughed.
“Hey! I whipped the cream and chopped up the fruit,” Eli argued as he pushed two bowls towards me, one with cream and one with chopped strawberries.
“Thank you,” I told Eli with a smile, knowing he’d tried for me. He knew pancakes were my favorite.
“So,” I began as I grabbed the warm plate from the oven and took a seat beside Jordan. “What shall we do today?”
“I was planning to pack some supplies and head out for a walk. I want to get some sketches of the lake from different angles for a piece I have planned,” Eli explained. “That okay with you guys, if I head out for a while?”
“We’re good, Eli,” Jordan agreed easily.
“Will you be okay out there?” I looked out of the wide glass doors to the snow covered ground. Icicles hung from the siding above the doors and although it was sunny, it still looked bitterly cold.
“It’s stopped snowing and the sun will feel warm. I’ll be fine.”
“You shouldn’t go too far from the house though, just in case. The snow starts again so fast out there,” I worried. “And make sure you wrap up and take snacks. Ooh, I think I saw a flask in one of the cabinets. You could take hot coffee to keep you warm.” I was already on my feet and heading to the cabinet I had seen the huge thermos flask in.
“Addy, take it easy. I’ll be fine. I already planned to take coffee and snacks, and of course I’ll wrap up. I am an adult, you know?” Eli chuckled.
“She’s right about the snow though. At the first sign of any falling flakes you should head back here right away. I do not want to head out there, trudging through snow in my sneakers searching for your ass,” Jordan added.
“Jesus! You’re both as bad as each other. I’ll be fine. Stop worrying so much. I thought you’d be glad to get some time to yourselves,” Eli teased as he sent me a smirk that instantly had me blushing furiously. Did he know what we’d been doing that morning when he interrupted us? Was that why he interrupted us? Had I been that loud when Jordan made me moan? Just the thought horrified me.
“Don’t look at me like that, shortcake. It’s been a while since I had a relationship, but I have had them, and I do know how these things work,” Eli laughed at me. “I’d just rather be far, far away when it’s my little sister in the relationship though,” he added more seriously.
“Okay, please don’t say anything else!” I gasped as I slammed my hands over my ears. Hearing Eli talk about me and Jordan doing anything, even just inferring it, was way too much.
“All I’m saying is that I will be gone for a few hours today so you two can be alone. That’s it,” Eli declared as he held his hands up before him innocently.
“Just stop talking. I…I think I need to be….I need to…” I pointed behind me, then just fled to my room, both of the guys laughing behind me as I died of mortification with every step I took. I had never been so embarrassed in my whole life. Thank God Asher hadn’t been there too.
***
“Addy? You can come down now. The coast’s clear!” Jordan called up the stairs to me about an hour later. I had been hiding out in my room, trying to read and not think about what Eli had said, or how desperate I was to take advantage of the time he would be out of the house, but it was impossible not to want more of what Jordan and I had been getting into that morning.
I crept from my room and down the stairs, still feeling just as much embarrassment as when I’d fled up them and away from my brother.
“He’s gone?” I hissed to Jordan as I rounded the corner and looked all around me.
“Why are you whispering?” Jordan laughed. “Yes, Eli’s gone. Like I said, the coast is clear.”
“How did he know? Did he….w-was I loud?” I asked with another deep blush on my cheeks.
“He didn’t know anything, Addy. All he wanted was to give us some time alone. I think your face gave away the rest,” he chuckled.
“Oh God. It was so embarrassing.”
“Addy, we live with your brothers. I think eventually they’re going to work out that our relationship is more than just hugs and kisses.”
“But it’s not. Not yet anyway,” I protested.
“But it will be, or at least I hope it will be. You seemed okay with what was happening this morning, right?”
“Right,” I nodded. “I mean, yeah. I was...this morning…I didn’t want us to stop. I want it to be more,” I floundered.
“Then it will be, and you don’t have to be embarrassed about any of it. We’re all adults, even your brothers. It’s normal for us all to joke around, so you might have to get used to them giving me some ribbing, but they don’t mean anything by it, and they’d never want to upset or hurt you. You know that, right?”
“I do. It’s just weird, I guess. I never really had family before, not properly, and I never had a real relationship. It will take some getting used to,” I tried to explain.
“Don’t worry. We can totally get our own back when the two of them get girlfriends,” Jordan assured me, making me smile.
“I like the sound of that.”
“So, what do you want to do now? Another movie? I wouldn’t say no to more cuddling like last night,” he asked.
“I was thinking more like we were cuddling this morning,” I suggested, somewhat boldly for me.
“You were, huh?” The grin that spread across his face as he slowly stalked closer to me had my heart pounding and heat flooding to my core.
“Well, we do have the place to ourselves, right? It would be such a shame to waste the opportunity,” I teased while I moved towards him too. As soon as I was close enough I reached up and looped my arms around the back of his neck, pressing as much of my body against his as I could. He was solid against me, and so warm. It only heightened the need buzzing through me.
“It would be a shame,” he agreed as he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in to kiss me, I parted my lips at his insistence, and a squeak of need escaped me as his mouth crashed with mine. I lowered my hands to his shoulders and clung on tightly as I reached up to maintain the contact between us. Jordan must have felt my struggle, because his hands moved to my hips and he lifted me high enough that I could wrap my legs around his waist, neither of us breaking the kiss as we moved. I pushed my hands into his hair and gripped the short strands as he moved his lips down my jaw. Without thought I pushed back my head and his kisses travelled down my neck, sending little thrilling tingles all through my body.
“So fucking beautiful,” he hissed as he lifted his head and studied my face momentarily. A loud moan slipped from me again when he continued his trail of kisses on my neck.
“Jordan,” I gasped, my entire body now alight with desperation for more.
“You sure, Addy?” he asked as he pulled away and met my eyes again. I straightened up so my eyes were locked on his and nodded.
“So sure,” I told him. “I love you Jordan. I want this with you, and so much more.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to you, princess,” he whispered close to my ear, then he was kissing me again, and I gave back everything I could as I clung to him.