Chapter Thirteen
Seth stepped through the doorway he’d made. “Hey, Mom,” he said with a smile. He hugged me and then nodded to Tage. “I hear you want to learn how to project.”
“If it’s even possible.”
“Uh, Tage says you were able to bring Mercedes here. I’d say it’s possible. Teleporting is much more difficult than projection.”
“If you say so. Roman is home with the kids, and Mercedes is with Dad. I need you to make sure I can do this before I try to project to him. I don’t want to reverse anything and hurt him.”
Seth rubbed his hands together excitedly. “We’ve got this.” At least one of us was confident about that.
“Now, concentrate on Roman, but not on Roman being here. Remember their house. Picture yourself in their living room, sitting on the couch. Then push with your mind toward that image. Make it real.”
“Make it real,” I muttered, sitting on the sand, letting it warm my legs. Seth sat next to me.
“You can do this,” he encouraged.
I imagined Roman, pissed off that he had to partake in this experiment. He and I had burned bridges and then repaired them, but the wood was still charred. I wasn’t his favorite person in the world, and he wasn’t mine. We tolerated each other. That was it. At least it was before…
Then I pictured the sand and a very angry Roman landed in a heap right in front of us. Seth laughed as Roman pushed himself up and dusted off his clothing. “Very funny,” he snarled. “Now, if you don’t mind, put me back, Porschia.”
I stifled a laugh, but closed my eyes and imagined him returning home. He disappeared in front of me.
“Try again,” Seth said.
This time I pictured myself on his couch, teasing their two year old, Tess, tickling her belly.
Then I pushed with my mind and felt a surge propel me through the woods at a break-neck pace.
Tree trunks blurred. I crossed the bridge and was in their house.
On the couch. Tessa was in the living room, dancing and squealing. “It’s Porch. Porch is here!”
Roman gave me a lopsided grin. “Well, finally,” he smarted.
I stood up and would have given him the finger, but Tess was a copycat. One misplaced gesture and she would get me in trouble with Mercedes.
“How do I get back?” I asked.
“Did you forget to ask the most important question, Porschia?”
“Apparently,” I muttered, looking around.
Seth suddenly appeared beside me. His body was like mine, translucent and hazy. “Guess I should have told you how to pull back,” he said with a smile. “You just retrace your steps. I’ll give you a head start.”
Retrace my steps. I imagined the sand, and suddenly it was like I was running backwards, being sucked toward the clearing by an incredibly powerful force. The wind howled in my ears as the fake version of me was sucked from the world back into The Sand.
Seth smiled as I came back into my body. “You did it!” He hugged my neck, smiling from ear to ear. “We should visit grandpa.”
I couldn’t calm the shaking in my hands, so I stuck them beneath my legs. “Okay.”
He gave me a moment to rest and then grinned. “See you there.”
Tage watched me carefully, saying, “If you don’t feel up to it, don’t worry about it. He’ll come back soon.”
“I can do this.”
My heart pounded, but I exerted my mind, picturing my father’s living room.
Soon, I was being pushed through the forest, over the bridge, past the pavilion with the crumbling, overturned fountain.
Suddenly, I was sitting in Father’s living room on the couch next to Seth.
Mercedes gave a slow clap. “Now I won’t have bruises when we visit,” she smarted.
Father looked so much older as he shuffled toward us with bowed legs, his hair threaded with streaks of white. “Miranda?” he gasped, clutching his sweater at his heart.
“No, Father. It’s Porschia.”
“Porschia is a baby, Miranda. She’s asleep. Don’t be silly.”
I opened my mouth, but didn’t know what to say.
Mercedes’ pursed lips said it all. “Do you want to sit down, Father?” she asked.
“Who are you?” Confusion wrinkled his face as he sank into a sturdier chair, one with arms he could use to push himself up with when he needed to stand.
“Mercedes.”
He chuckled. “A handful, that one.” He smiled and fixed his attention on me again.
“Miranda, you need to hold Porschia. She needs her mother.”
I looked at Mercedes, who looked away quickly.
“I will, Carson. I know.”
He nodded resolutely. “I knew you’d see one day how special your girls are, and now that you’re expecting again, we’ll soon add another. Maybe a boy this time.”
“Maybe.” I played along, my heart peeling apart one layer at a time.
Seth faded away before me.
“I should go, Cedes.”
She nodded. “Yeah. Roman’s staying with him tonight.”
I hated talking about my father like he wasn’t there. “Can he come live with you?”
“He won’t leave the house,” she whispered.
Father’s chin lay against his chest as he began to snore.
“How long has he been like this?”
“It’s pretty recent. Garreth checked on him yesterday, and he thinks he may have suffered a stroke; either that, or dementia has set in.”
“I’m so sorry I can’t be here to help you.”
She waved me off, tears building in her eyes, threatening to break free of their dam.
“You may have saved us all again, Porsch. Sekhmet was a monster.”
Now I was. I was a monster stuck in The Sand, unable to help my sister with our father. Mercedes was sick. I could see that now. Her pallor was dull and gray. As I looked her over, I could see that her stomach wasn’t right. Something in her lower abdomen glowed.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” she asked cautiously.
“I miss you.”
“Can you come back and visit in a day or two?” she asked, wiping her cheeks.
“Of course.”
She nodded as I let The Sand pull me back.
Tage was waiting with Seth, and from the dark look on his face, Seth had already told him about Father’s state of mind.
God. He called me Miranda.
Did I look so much like her?
Seth shifted on his feet. “I have something to tell you.”
“It’s Mercedes, isn’t it?”
His eyes widened.
“I can see it, too,” I responded softly.
Sadness and relief flickered over his face as he let out a pent-up breath.
“There has to be something we can do to stop this, or at least slow it down. The Infected have already suffered enough,” he said. “Amy’s been teaching me about herbs. I’d like to find something that will work.”
I walked to him and hugged his neck, though he had to stoop to reach me. “If anyone can help, it’s you, Seth. Your heart is bigger than this problem.”
He hugged me tight, looking at Tage as he pulled away, and then said goodbye as he exited through the doorway.
I wanted to visit my brother and his wife, but I was exhausted. Why didn’t all this zipping back and forth affect Seth? He looked like he could project all day.
“Tired?” Tage asked.
“Beyond it.”
“Magic always demands a price. The more you use, the more it will affect you.”
“It doesn’t seem to affect Seth,” I argued.
He nodded. “It does, he just hides it well. And his is more explosive than draining, which is more dangerous in the long run.”
“Could’ve gone without hearing that today.”
He apologized. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry about your Father.”
“Me too.”
I left him standing in the sand as I made my way to the tent, easing between the panels of fabric that fluttered in the afternoon wind.
Porschia was finally happy. Seth taught her how to project to her father, as well as to Ford and Amy.
She got to see her niece, and she began to visit them several times a week.
Mercedes was different, however. Instead of having Porschia come to her, she always wanted Porschia to teleport her to The Sand.
“Winter’s horrible,” she would say by way of explanation, but it was more than that. She knew it and so did we.
I wondered if she was scared of bringing her children here, or of letting them see Porschia as a vampire. There was no hiding the fangs. Porschia never said that it bothered her, and her worry line never deepened. She just brought Mercedes here and seemed happy for the company.
On hard days, she would sit at the doorway and stare out at Saul’s grave. Spending time with him was important for her, too.
As the sun set, I began walking into its fading, fiery light. Before I got too far from the tent, she joined me, our steps soon taken in unison.
“Why did you change your mind?” she asked. “Why’d you decide to trick Sekhmet into healing me?”
“Because you asked. And in the end, because it was the right thing to do.”
She was silent for several steps. “You didn’t want to do it at first. You wanted to keep me here.”
“I did.”
“Well, is it all you hoped it would be? Having me here, I mean.”
I stopped. “No.”
Her teasing smile fell away and she turned to leave.
“It’s not what you think,” I answered quickly. “Having you here is more than I could have ever hoped for, kitten.”
“I’m not your kitten,” she growled.
I shook my head. “I like you being here. It makes passing an eternity a lot more tolerable. And whether you like it or not, you’ll always be my kitten. How’s Boots, by the way?”
She chose the high road, avoiding an argument with me about whose she was. I knew she was Saul’s. She always would be. But I also knew she was mine.
“Mercedes says he’s fine.”
I’d sent the cat to her. Similar to the familiars witches used throughout the centuries, I could see through Boots’ eyes.
It was a way for me to keep tabs on my son and Porschia when I couldn’t physically be there.
Sekhmet had sent a cat before me, but Porschia saw her familiar for what it was and had Ford drown it in the river before Sekhmet could cause any problems.
I started walking into the sun again. Porschia fell into step beside me.
“Why do you walk?” she asked.
“To pass the time. It’s calming.”
“Why am I not starving? Why don’t I wither away in this place? When I was here before, I felt like I was dying. Now, I just feel like I’m part of this place.”
“You weren’t bound to it before, but now you are. Essentially, you have become part of The Sand. You fit now.” Explaining. That was something I had a lot to do, and an eternity to do it in.
“I fit in my world. With Saul. Saul loved me,” she said defiantly.
“I know. As much as I hate admitting it, I’m glad he did. I’m glad he could give you what I couldn’t.”
She made a noncommittal hmm sound and walked along with me for hours. I held the sunset in place for her, watching the vibrant colors warm the tone of her skin.
When she’d gone far enough, she turned around and we began walking back. I let the sun fall, the coolness of night descending around us. “Why do you try so hard?” she finally asked.
“Because I love you.”
“I’m not worth loving, Tage. I can’t love you back,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Not yet, but you will.”
She snorted. “You’ve always been so sure of yourself, Tage. I guess it comes with being the son of the most powerful man in your culture, but you need to understand that this is one thing you can’t fix. You can’t make me love you, like lighting a candle or making a flame.”
“I don’t need to make you love me, Porschia. You always have. I just need to remind you of that.” My pinky brushed hers and she inhaled sharply. “See? Something as simple as the brush of my hand makes you shiver.”
She pursed her lips together, stepping farther away. There was no distance too great, no amount of time I wouldn’t wait for her to realize it. She loved me. She’d never stopped.
She also loved Saul.
It was strange to admit, but I’d accepted it a long time ago.
He had his turn.
I wanted mine.