Chapter 7
L isa bolted up in bed hearing the ringtone on her phone go off, it wasn’t her normal one and she scrambled to answer it as her heart pounded with worry thanks to the late hour.
“Hello?” she said pulling on the dress shirt Corey had worn that day as she grabbed it off the floor.
“Lisa, I’m so sorry about the time but I can’t find Abby anywhere. I let her stay at a friend’s this weekend and expected her back tonight,” Diane, her mom’s cousin, said frantically. “Nine rolled around and she wasn’t home, so I called Becca to see if she was staying the night again. She hadn’t seen her since Thursday after school. It was their last day and Abby begged to stay with Becca for a girls’ night. I called all of her friends, but she didn’t stay with any of them this weekend…”
“What?” Lisa said as her stomach tightened in worry at the pure panic in Diane’s voice. “You’re positive you tried all of her friends?” she asked, grabbing a pair of her workout pants from the dresser as she moved into the bathroom when Corey stirred hearing her voice. Her breathing began to race, and she did her best to not let it get the best of her.
“I’ve tried all of them and her cell phone. She’s not answering.”
“Okay, let me try her, see if you can find her computer. If she left it that means she didn’t plan to be gone long. If it’s there, see if you can find any history of who she’s been chatting with—I’ll check her Facebook page to make sure there’s nothing out there. We’ll find her Diane—we have to,” she stated hanging up as she tried to call Abby. It went to voicemail, and she left her a frantic message. “Abby, call me the second you get this message. What is going on? Diane’s worried and I’m freaking out over here. Call me sweetie, I need to know you’re safe.”
She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and opened the bathroom door, gasping in surprise finding Corey there. “Jesus Christ Corey, don’t do that.”
“Sorry, baby, it’s three a.m. what are you doing up, dressed?”
“I have to go,” she replied moving past him towards the bedroom door. “Something came up and I need to go check on it.”
“What the hell is so important that you have to leave at three in the morning?” he asked, moving over to stand in front of the door.
“It’s nothing to do with you so move—I have to go,” she stated trying to contain her worst fears from manifesting themselves into reality.
“Nothing to do with me? Dammit Lisa, if you’re leaving the house— our home —at three a.m. then it absolutely has something to do with me. Fuck baby, it’s been five and a half months since Christmas, why can’t you admit that there are things that I’m entitled to know, especially when you get a phone call at three a.m. that has you racing out of bed.”
“It’s not our home; it’s your house Corey. My house is across town, and I need to go check on something. I’ll call you later,” she added moving past him and downstairs to grab her purse.
It took her two tries to get the keys into the ignition of her car, but she finally managed and drove to her apartment as quickly as she could. Her fears and thoughts of what happened to Abby had tripled during that drive and she could barely breathe again by the time she got into her apartment.
She headed towards the computer to pull up Abby’s page, turning around in surprise when she heard a noise.
“ Abby?! ” she gasped, moving over to her quickly, pulling her into her arms with a hug as she checked her over to make sure she was really there.
“Hi, I guess Diane called you?” Abby asked and she nodded, walking her to the couch as she felt her body try to collapse as relief flooded her.
“What were you thinking Abby? How did you get here?”
“I took the bus. Where were you all night?” Abby added, taking in her appearance.
“Where was I ? Abby, I’m an adult, what I was doing isn’t the question. What you were thinking is! Why did you run away?”
“I don’t want to live with Diane anymore. I want to be with you, but I guess you’d rather be with the boyfriend huh?” Abby whined as her face fell.
“You know that’s not true. Abby,” Lisa said lifting her chin, meeting her gaze, “I would love to have you with me—but…”
“Oh, I know, you don’t have time for me. That’s what you said when you moved out here, but it looks like you have time for a boyfriend, so I guess that tells me where I stand. You don’t want to admit the truth to anyone. My friends were right, weren’t they? You don’t care about me. You don’t really love me. You left me with Diane so you could live your life without a kid getting in the way,” Abby fumed stalking out of the room and into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Lisa took a few seconds to calm down before calling Diane to let her know Abby was at least safe—here, even if she didn’t understand the rest of what was going on at the moment.
“She’s here. I don’t know what happened yet, she’s upset and went back to the bedroom angry. I just wanted to let you know she’s safe, so you didn’t continue to worry. Let me talk to her and I’ll let you know what we’re going to do,” she told her as she headed to the bedroom and her thirteen-year-old daughter.
So many thoughts, worries and memories ran through her mind that she didn’t know what to do, what to think, until she found Abby curled up on the bed crying into a pillow.
“Abby, sweetie, come here,” she said softly moving onto the bed beside her, sitting down to pull her into her arms.
“I don’t want to live with Diane anymore. I want to be with you, Mom. Why can’t I be with you?” Abby asked and she lowered her cheek down to rest on Abby’s head as she soothed her.
“Shh, it’s okay sweetie. It’s okay,” she said over and over until the tears stopped. She sat Abby up and caught her gaze giving her a gentle smile as her heart swelled seeing her face, so close to her own that she couldn’t deny her anything. “I would love for you to stay with me Abby. I just didn’t want anyone to hurt you, didn’t want you all alone while I’m working.”
“I know that’s why I’ve been with Diane, but do you have to live all the way across the country from me? I miss you. I’ve really missed you the last few years. It never feels like enough time when you come see me, and the last few months…I know you have a boyfriend but…”
“I’ve missed you more than you will ever know, honey,” she admitted brushing the hair from her face. “I promise we’ll figure this out.”
“I don’t get it, Mom. Why didn’t you just tell someone about me? Were you that ashamed of me?” Abby asked and she knew she had to tell her daughter the truth—the real truth not just the bits she’d offered in the past. She’d rather she never had to, didn’t want Abby upset about any of it, but she couldn’t put it off any longer she realized.
It wouldn’t be easy, but she would do it and hopefully Abby would see that everything she’d done was to love her and protect her.
“Oh baby, I could tell you the reasons now or I can wait until you’ve had some rest, when you can understand my actions a little better?”
“You’re stalling Mom. You do this when you have to talk about something real. I want to know why—now. Please Mom. You missed my birthday this year—the first one ever so I think I deserve an answer, don’t you?”
“Okay,” she said settling them back onto the bed more. “You’ve asked me a hundred times about your father, and I’ve always told you the same thing…”
“That he was a jerk, and you hated him for wanting you to have an abortion,” Abby said, and Lisa nodded taking a deep breath to tell her the real story.
“He was a jerk—but he never knew about you,” she admitted.
“What?!”
“When I was fourteen, I started at the new middle school-high school. One of the teachers there instantly started to support me in ways the others never had. I thought he was the best. He paid attention to me in class, told me I could talk to him whenever I wanted, always would listen, and I worshipped him.” Lisa hated that she ever liked the man even a bit. It made everything else that happened so much harder to deal with.
“You’re saying that my father was your teacher? Eww…that’s so gross Mom.”
“I wish it were that simple sweetie. You know what my brothers are like, you’ve heard what my parents are like from Aunt Diane…he was different, and I let it blind me to the truth. He wasn’t a great guy, not even close. When I started freshman year, he became more attentive and more critical of my work. I thought he was just being hard on me to push me, make me actually work harder, but that wasn’t true. He did it so he could purposely get me alone with him. It was about two weeks into the year when he told me that I wasn’t going to pass his class so easily that year—that I would have to work ten times harder than anyone else just to get a C.”
“What? Wait, what are you saying?” Abby said, her face as confused as her own had been at the time. Barely older than her sweet girl was now, and she hated it—hated him for everything except Abby.
“I’m saying he made me do things for him, with him, in order to get the grade that I deserved.”
“He forced you to have sex with him?” Abby asked and she nodded trying to hold her emotions in. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I was fifteen, baby; I didn’t think anyone would believe me. The entire school knew I’d been gaga over him the year before, and they saw a difference in us that year. He threatened that he’d tell them I was lying because he’d turned me down after making a pass at him. So, I didn’t say anything to anyone.”
“How did he not know about me then—did he only force you that year?” Abby asked and Lisa could still see the confusion of it in her eyes, didn’t truly understand what it was like for her, and for that, Lisa was thankful. If her baby ever told her one of her teachers had touched her or looked at her inappropriately, she’d believe it in an instant. She’d never had that sort of trust with her parents though and he knew it.
Her father told her and her mother what to do and expected them to do it, hated being questioned, his demands to be questioned. It’d caused her more than a single problem as she got older and by middle school, her relationship with both of her parents was at the most basic level. They didn’t trust her to know what was best for the most basic things, no way would they have bought the total one-eighty when she’d been raving about the man the prior year to suddenly buying that he was forcing her or trying to force her to do anything.
“I wish, but no, he blackmailed me into continuing it over the summer and into the beginning of the next year. He reset my schedule when I tried to get my science classes with another teacher, refused to sign the drop slip for me to change it back after the year started. It was October when I realized I was pregnant with you, by then I was already three months along and went to the doctor a few towns over to keep anyone from seeing me. I had a choice to make—keep carrying you or an abortion. I couldn’t do it, but I knew if I kept carrying you, he’d find out. I was terrified of what he’d do if he did. If nothing else, it would prove that he slept with me…it would have ruined his life even if I said I’d agreed to it.”
“Because you were under sixteen when it happened and his student, he’d never work again, would be arrested,” Abby said, far too wise for her young years thanks to the news.
“Yeah, but I didn’t want it to get out. The town is small, having people know what happened…I was too scared to chance it.”
“What happened to him?”
“He’d told me to meet him at one of the back cabins in order to pass the midterm the next week. I went but waited until after he’d gotten there to show up. I’m not proud of what I did, but I was barely sixteen, pregnant and terrified of what he might do to me, to you,” she added because despite everything, she loved her baby even then. “I stuck a knife in his tire and went inside. I told him I was done, that I wouldn’t play his sick games anymore, and if he said anything I would make sure everyone found out what he’d made me do. He didn’t believe me until I showed him the tape recorder I had in my pocket. He lunged for me, and I ran. He got into his car and tried to follow me, stop me before I got back to the house, but there was already some snow on the ground and his tire was going flat.”
“What happened?”
“He lost control of the car, flipped it and ended up paralyzed from the waist down.”
“So, he couldn’t hurt you anymore?”
“No, he couldn’t hurt me—or anyone else—anymore. He came back to school in a chair the next year and told me if anyone ever found out what he’d made me do they’d find out I cut his tire and put him in that chair. I was so scared about what he might do if he knew about you, and he made it clear that he wasn’t going to leave town. I’d kept quiet about you, hid the pregnancy underneath bulky clothes, huge sweaters, and when I knew you were almost here, I went down to visit Diane. I told her about you, and she agreed to help me—keep you with her. I had you, spent a week there for Spring Break falling even more in love with you, and then went back to finish the year. I came back as soon as school was over, claiming I was going to a cheer camp for the entire summer because I wanted to be a cheerleader the next year despite having no real desire for it. I have loved you from the second I knew you existed, even more when I felt you move. I knew I would do anything for you the first time I held you and I’ve never changed my mind on that.”
“I get why you didn’t tell anyone back then Mom—I do but what about now and the last few years? Why leave me with Diane all this time?” Abby asked, her tears and sad eyes tearing at her heart.
Lisa moved over to the closet and took down a lockbox, opening it to take out the box she’d gotten at Christmas. It had taken her forever to get it packed and back here without Corey finding it, but she wouldn’t begin to leave it at the house where her parents could get to it. She walked back to Abby and handed the box to her.
Abby opened the lid and dropped the box covering her mouth with her hand. “Where did you find that?”
“Under the Christmas tree when I went to see Mom and Dad at Christmas,” she admitted, her heart filling with worry all over again. “This is why I’ve kept you away from me, sweetheart. If he has pictures of me, then he could get some of you and…”
“Find out about me, use me to hurt you?” Abby guessed and she nodded. “I’m so sorry Mom. I didn’t know…the others were telling me that you never loved me, didn’t want me in your life, left me because you didn’t care about me at all…”
“Why would your friends say things like that sweetie?” she asked, brushing away the tears that fell from her baby’s eyes.
“Grant Michaels asked me to dance at the Spring Fling. I just kept telling myself they were jealous but…”
“Not knowing the truth, me not coming out to see you the last few months, you worried. I understand sweetie, I do. I’m truly hoping that these photos were only taken because he heard that I was going back there, but I don’t want to put you at risk. I moved here, took this promotion because right before that I’d gotten another set of photos like this after being there for a visit that summer. Every time I go back, I get something like this, before now they were just of me around town and the resort there, but with this…” Lisa stopped taking a deep breath, not wanting her true terror to come out and scare Abby. Everything she’d done was to keep her safe, away from that maniac, and knowing somehow he’d gotten photos of her and Corey in some very intimate moments, worried her immensely.
“What if I promise to be careful? I won’t begin to do anything without asking you, without you knowing where I’m going and with who. Please Mom,” Abby begged making her want it more than anything, to be close with her again, have her with her always, but there was so much panic about that exact thing causing her to get hurt, she couldn’t quite breathe. “I don’t want to go back there. I want to stay with you.”
“What about Diane sweetie? She loves you as much as I do.”
“I know but she’s not you. She doesn’t understand me the way you just do. Please can I stay? Please…”
“Alright, we’ll figure this out,” she said hating to see the tears in her daughter’s eyes. She kissed the top of her head and held her tightly to her. “First thing we need to do is find a new apartment.”
“Why?”
“Because this place isn’t big enough for both of us, the second bedroom is full of extra clothes of mine.”
“So does this mean I can stay for good?”
“Yes, we’ll figure out the rest later. For now, you need to get some sleep,” she said seeing the tiredness in her face. “Let’s get you tucked in huh?”
“I’m thirteen, Mom, I don’t need to be tucked in,” she argued but let her do it anyway after she’d changed clothes. “I love you Mom,” Abby added hugging her neck tightly. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you—if I cause you more problems…”
“You are the only thing that ever made me smile Abby. I adore you; I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”
“Not even who my father is?”
“He doesn’t count. He’s not your father; just a genetic donor. You are my angel. I love you so much,” she promised kissing the top of her head, staying until she was asleep before heading back out to her phone.
“You told her everything?” Diane asked once she’d explained what happened.
“Nearly, the basics of it at least. She doesn’t need to know the rest,” Lisa replied pushing it away.
“She doesn’t need to know that he nearly killed you the last time you went to see your parents and that’s why you moved to New York?” Diane asked in amazement, but there were some things that were too dark to tell her daughter. That was one of them. “Why you put distance between you two, so he’d never be able to get to her when I know it killed you to do so?”
“No, she doesn’t. I can’t make her go back Diane. I don’t want to. I miss her more than is imaginable and now…holding her again, I can’t do it.”
“I know you miss her, Lisa, but what about your life there, your friends, Corey…how are you going to explain suddenly having a daughter you never mentioned?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted, unable to come up with even a feasible lie about it. Nothing could begin to explain the reason for it beyond the truth, and she wasn’t about to let that come out. “I just know she’s more important than anyone else is. She’s more important than my relationships with friends and Corey.”
“You really mean that? You’re going to end your relationship with Corey, the only person I’ve ever seen you love?”
“I don’t love him.”
“Yes, you do Lisa, I know you do. You’re scared to tell him the truth though.”
“I tell him the truth and he’s going to go back to Colorado and make a mess. I don’t want that. I don’t want Abby getting hurt because of anything in Colorado.”
“Fine, then tell him you got pregnant at fifteen, had Abby at sixteen and knew your parents would never understand,” Diane suggested, and she wanted to, more than anything, but he’d never believe it. “Tell him you asked me to watch her for you, but I can’t handle her anymore and that she needs you now. If he loves you, he won’t care, he’ll be thrilled to have her because he’ll see how much you love her.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do right now Diane. Let me think about it and I’ll let you know what we decide, alright?”
“Alright, just don’t do anything rash like you did getting that job in New York, Lisa. Give Corey a real chance. He’s nothing like the others you’ve known.”
“No, he’s not,” she agreed hanging up.
It was why she knew she couldn’t tell Corey the truth. She couldn’t tell him a lie either; he’d know it was a lie and demand the truth. All that would cause was more heartache and gossip she wanted to avoid. Her best option would be to break it off with Corey, end it before they went any further and she couldn’t see herself happy without him.