Chapter 8
L isa opened the front door making sure the bedroom door was closed tightly. She didn’t want Abby overhearing this conversation. “Corey, it’s seven o’clock in the morning, other people are trying to sleep you know.”
“I don’t care. What the hell is going on, baby? You ran out at three yesterday morning, didn’t answer any of my calls, didn’t come home last night or even respond letting me know you’re breathing after telling me you’d call! Where the hell have you been?” he questioned, his voice rising and she didn’t want him waking Abby. He couldn’t know about her without it causing a world of trouble.
“It’s none of your business,” she whispered wanting him to lower his voice.
“Like hell it’s not,” he fumed, thankfully not as loudly though. “Dammit Lisa, what is going on?”
“I had a slight family emergency I was dealing with; it’s fine now.”
“Then why didn’t you come home?”
“I am home. I’ve also been thinking, and I know that it’s over.”
“What’s over?” he asked, wanting to shake her seeing the way she was back inside her shell. All of the walls he’d carefully crumbled the last few months were back and reinforced with barbwire from the looks she was shooting him.
“Us—this thing between us, it’s over. I’ve seen it coming but ignored it because the sex was amazing.”
“No, we’re not over. We’re not even out yet. Six months of sleeping together and no one knows beyond your parents and one of your friends. So no, we’re not close to being over. I’m not just going to walk away from what I know this is Lisa. Baby…” he said pulling her into his arms. She resisted keeping herself rigid and he lowered his mouth to hers, trying to pull a response from her.
“It’s not going to work Corey and honestly it’s a little pathetic that you’re even trying,” she said when he finally stopped. She was barely holding onto her strength and will not to give in and tell him everything. Any more from him and she would likely fold.
“What happened Lisa? What suddenly made you close back up into yourself?”
“Nothing…”
“What was this family emergency then?”
“They thought my dad had a heart attack, it was just angina, but it showed me that I wasn’t listening to myself,” she said. It was only a half lie; her mother had called her last week telling her they’d thought her father had had a heart attack. It was close enough no one would ever guess.
“Why now? What did I do or say to make you think this was over?”
“It’s not you—honestly Corey it’s not. It’s me, through and through. The truth is I’m not cut out for relationships,” she said making his eyes darken with a hint of anger, but mostly, hurt. “I’ll admit the sex is still great, but I don’t want anything else. I don’t want to share what I do with my day; I don’t want to share what I’m thinking or feeling. I don’t want to have to think about someone else’s feeling. I want sex and that’s it.”
“Then why do we have to be over? We can pull back; you can spend the night like you did at the beginning and then come here every few nights…”
“No, we can’t Corey.”
“Why not?” he asked, not ready to give up on them.
“Because I know how you feel about me,” she said, knowing the only way to get him to leave was to hurt him—really hurt him. She didn’t want to but there was just too much she couldn’t tell him. “You want me to love you, and I can’t—I don’t, and I never will. I’m sorry if it hurts but it’s the truth. I just want to have some casual fun without feelings getting in the way. You want this to be something special, for us to be a real us , but I don’t. I don’t feel that way about you.”
“You know how I feel about you? You know that I am so far in love with you I don’t give a damn how you treat me in return?” he asked, pulling her up against him tightly. “You could spend every dime I own, only come to my bed once a month, ignore me in public, and I will still love you. I am not going away Lisa.”
“Yes, you are because if you don’t, you’ll show just how pathetic you really are to everyone else. Isn’t it bad enough for me to know you have no balls—that I own them even though I don’t want to? Do you really need the entire city to know too?”
“Stop it,” Corey said trying to contain his anger. She was too close to the truth for his comfort. He loved her in ways he’d never loved anyone, and he swore she felt at least some of it in return. He couldn’t believe her father having a scare would cause this sort of reaction in her though. There had to be something else on top of it.
“No, do you know what will happen if that comes out that I’m your weakness? Your entire business will be destroyed bit by bit. They’ll ruin you using me to do it. So even if you have absolutely no pride what about survival instinct hmm? Do you want to go back to living the way you did growing up, not being able to do anything you want because you can’t afford it, barely having enough food to make it around the table?”
“Stop it.”
“No,” Lisa said, hating the look on his face. It made her heart ache, her stomach twisted into knots, seeing that look on his face. It was so close to the one that Abby wore yesterday thinking she didn’t love her. These emotions flowing through her were the same as then too, but the one difference was Corey could take care of himself—Abby couldn’t. No matter how much she didn’t want to do this, she had to, had to be cruel to make it stick. “This is my home, Corey. I can say whatever I want, and you wanted the truth, didn’t you? Well, this is the truth. I like having sex with you, but that’s as far as it goes. I don’t care about you. Honestly, you’re just one of the guys I’ve met that interests me sexually. In bed, yeah, I enjoy you, outside of it, I couldn’t care less. So why don’t you get over it and leave me alone? I’ll be by to pick up my things while you’re at work later today. I’ll leave the key on the counter.”
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you? I thought Donna was the biggest bitch I’d ever met but she’s an absolute saint compared to you Lisa…enjoy your miserable life living all alone. I hope it’s worth keeping whatever secrets you have because when you die, who’s going to be beside your grave missing you huh?” he questioned walking to the door and leaving before he made a total fool of himself by begging her to reconsider.
Lisa sighed as she locked the door behind Corey. She laid her head against it, fighting the tears that wanted to fall and took a moment to gather herself before turning to go check on Abby. She stopped short, seeing her in the doorway and gave her a light smile. “Hi, so what would you like for breakfast today?”
“Was that Corey?” Abby asked and she nodded trying to smile. “You were fighting, weren’t you? Is it about me? Does he not want me around?”
“Abby, it wasn’t about you, sweetie, I promise.”
“Then what was it? You seemed happy whenever you talked about him.”
“If Corey knew about you, I know he’d love you, but I’d end up telling him the truth.”
“That’s not bad though, is it? It means you trust him, right?” Abby said and she nodded, wishing it was as simple as that.
“I do trust him to see the truth about us, about what happened but you don’t know Corey, baby. If he knew what happened to me, to us, he’d go back to Colorado and do something to fix it. He’d go after him and that would be bad for all of us.”
“So, you’re going to lie to him, not tell him how you came to have a thirteen-year-old daughter?”
“There’s no need to tell him anything period, it’s over. I’ve seen it coming. I just didn’t want to admit it. It’s alright Abby,” she said, trying her best to keep it from sounding like the lie it was. “We’ll be fine. I love you sweetie, just you. So, what would you like for breakfast?” she asked again kissing the top of her head.
“Eggs and toast are fine. Are you sure about you and Corey being over?” Abby asked, looking nearly as worried as when she’d gotten lost at the zoo when she was eight.
She hated that look on her daughter’s face, never wanted to see it again. She was going to have to lie better, she realized. The idea was comical considering how much she’d lied to the world in the past. Then again, lying to her daughter shouldn’t be as easy as lying to the rest of the world, so perhaps it wasn’t that shocking.
“Yeah sweetheart, I’m sure. Now why don’t you get dressed while I make breakfast? I need to stop by Corey’s place and pack up my things. Do you want to come with me or stay here? We should probably stop and grab you some clothes somewhere too.”
“You’re not afraid Corey will show up while you’re packing?”
“No, he’s not likely to be around,” she said, thankful to be able to be honest about that. She’d hurt him too much just now for him to show up so soon. “So, is that a yes to coming?”
“Yeah, I’d love to see where you’ve been staying. You said the place was amazing.”
She nodded and when they reached Corey’s place, she saw the way Abby’s eyes lit up. “I take it you like it.”
“This place is awesome. I’d never leave if I lived here.”
“Well first we’ll get my stuff packed up, then we’ll stop by the mall for some things for you. After that, we’ll look at some new apartment listings,” Lisa said and by late that afternoon, all of her things were out of Corey’s house. She left the key on the counter and took a deep breath, saying goodbye to him in her head.
“Are you sure—really, really sure Mom?” Abby asked and she put a smile on her face hugging her as they headed out.
“I’m fine,” she promised and made herself forget about Corey and focus on Abby. That was the only thing she needed right now.
***
“Lisa’s not in today,” Donald stated seeing Corey moving down the hall towards her office. “She called in sick.”
“She did? That must be why I couldn’t reach her on the phone,” he replied feeling deep down, it was over.
“She must really not be feeling well because she hardly ever calls in sick. The last time was after she’d gone home the previous day. She comes in with minor upsets, colds, and headaches so if she called in, she’s bad off.”
“I’ll let her rest then. It’s nothing pressing anyway,” he stated glancing into her office, the one that was at his building to coincide with her new position taking care of all federal requirements for the company. He caught a glimpse of her the next day and tried to talk to her, but she made it clear the only thing between them was work.
A month passed by, and nothing changed, she would only look at him during meetings, only talk about the company. It was as though they’d never shared a single moment together. He wanted to discover what she was doing with herself now, if there was anyone else that was in her life or if he could win her back. He held off not really wanting the answer and was surprised to find her outside his office that Friday afternoon.
“Lisa, come in,” he said stepping aside, not sure what to expect, but he didn’t care about being late to his meeting. “How are you?” he asked when the door was closed behind him.
“I’m fine Corey. I’m actually only here to give you this,” she replied handing over the letter. She watched as he opened it, reading the short resignation and waited for the questions to start.
“Lisa if this is because of our relationship…”
“Past relationship Corey, but no, it’s not about that. This is an opportunity that I would be foolish to turn down,” she stated seeing the hope that it wasn’t true splayed across his face.
“I see, and where exactly is this great opportunity?” he asked sitting on the edge of his desk.
“Chicago, I’ve arranged to work the next two weeks and take the last two using my vacation time I have earned. I have roughly six weeks saved up unless you have any issues with that.”
“No, I have no issues with that,” he lied; he had a million issues with it. He didn’t want her moving; he wanted her with him. It felt like his heart was ripping apart all over again, but the look on her face was entirely cool and collected, and that pissed him off.
“Thank you.”
“Actually, you have eight weeks of vacation time on the books. You’re free to use the entire four if you’re sure this is what you want to do. I don’t want to keep you somewhere you don’t want to be. I will have HR use the four weeks to satisfy your contract and have them pay out the other four.”
“Thank you, Corey. Are you sure you won’t need me to come back in at all?”
“No, your work is exemplary. It will take us no time to figure out where you’re at on it. As your employer, I’m saddened to see you go but wish you the best in your work endeavors. As the man in love with you, I wish you would stay not only with me here at work but with me period,” he said reaching for her. He caught her hand and pulled her up against him, kissing her because he couldn’t stop himself. If it were the last time, he would always remember it and her.
Lisa felt herself slipping as the kiss deepened and pulled back from him, shaking her head, praying she didn’t look as affected as she truly was.
“I have to go pack. Goodbye Corey,” she said walking out and back down to her office. She brushed away the tears closing her door and told herself over and over that she had to go as she packed. She settled her things into her car and took a final look around her office, leaving this part of her life behind as she went home to Abby.
“He just gave you the entire month off?” Abby asked in surprise when she asked her daughter if she’d like to go on their vacation earlier than planned.
“In the end he pays me less this way,” she said trying to hide the pain leaving him and this place caused her.
“Mom, are you absolutely sure you want to go to Chicago? We can stay here. You could tell Corey the truth about me and beg him to not go after anyone in Colorado. We could all be together, and you’d be happy.”
“I’m happy with you honey. Corey and I would never work in the end. We’re too different, see things in different ways on too many subjects to make a relationship work. So, let’s get things packed and head out a bit early, alright?”
“Are you kidding…this sounds like the most incredible thing ever. Could we add in a couple days in Venice? I know we’re planning to go to Rome but what about Venice too?”
“Of course, honey,” she agreed loving the enthusiasm in her. They quickly packed the rest of the apartment, and she rebooked their flights adding in a few days in Venice for Abby.
They spent several days in Paris, and she was amazed at her daughter’s grasp of the language. She was incredible and it was amazing to see her expanding, thriving in the different surroundings. It wasn’t incredible to see the teenage boys interested in her, not after what she’d been through. She pulled Abby down the sidewalk giving her a look, “That’s enough flirting there, young lady.”
“Mom…”
“Exactly, Mom—and you know when I became your mom which means you know why I’m going to be very overprotective of you when it comes to boys.”
“Fine, but you have nothing to worry about. I’m not likely to fall for some cheap line.”
“I know you won’t but there are always things you don’t account for,” she warned.
“I know. Come on, I want to go see the Eiffel Tower,” Abby pleaded pulling her towards the monument. They spent ages taking pictures of it, with it, and around it, and she couldn’t stop the smile that lit her face as she watched Abby. This was what she needed; this was precisely what she needed to focus on rather than her love life.
“Ah the joys of traveling with one’s siblings,” a voice to her right mused with a light accent. “Your sister seems to love my city, what of you?”
“I’ve always loved Paris,” she stated as Abby came back towards her. “Ready to go?”
“There’s a movie in the park tonight…can we go? Please? I can only imagine what people at my school will say hearing about this ‘what I did this summer’ story.”
“Sure sweetie,” she agreed sliding her arm around Abby as they began to leave.
“What must a man do to get your name beautiful?” the guy asked stepping out in front of them. Him calling her beautiful did nothing for her. Not the way Corey said it did. Not even the accent made it attractive.
“It’s Mom,” she answered, and his gaze went from her to Abby and back in surprise.
“What was that about?” Abby questioned when he let them leave without anything else said.
“Just some playboy trying to find his way into my bed. Don’t worry I know all the tricks and will not be fooled by them.”
“No? So then, you and Corey…”
“Abby, can we please stop talking about Corey? It’s over between us.”
“I just don’t understand why. I saw the photos you didn’t want me to see. I saw the way he looked at you in them. He’s in love with you.”
“Sometimes love isn’t enough to make something work. Sometimes you have to let go in order to move on, to find what you’re really meant to have. That’s what I’m doing. Staying with Corey would have kept me in place and that’s not what we need. If we’re going to do this, we have to do it together, entirely together. So, no more questions about Corey and whether or not I did the right thing, got it?”
“Okay, I promise, no more questions about why you’re not together anymore. Does this mean that you’re going to not date though, cause I’ve seen the way guys look at you? They’re all going gaga over you.”
“We’ll see how it goes. First, we’re going to finish our vacation, then we’re going to get settled in Chicago, and then we’ll see about letting someone else into our lives. Aunt Diane will be bringing the rest of your things, so we need to make sure we’re back in time to meet her, okay?”
“Okay…vacation mode on, love life questions off,” Abby agreed making her laugh as they took the next steps together.