Chapter 10
L isa ran into the ER heading to the desk as her heart pounded and she swore she was going to pass out. “My daughter…Abby…” she said when the desk nurse looked up.
“Miss Branson,” she heard and turned to find Jazz there with her father.
“Where’s Abby?” she asked, seeing the bloodstains on David’s clothes.
“She’s inside,” David answered, and the nurse buzzed her through. He started to go in after her but changed his mind, not wanting to leave Jazz alone or for her to see Abby like that. He got the attention of the nurse who’d been asking him questions about Abby and motioned towards Lisa. She nodded and moved over to her as the doors shut.
“Lisa Branson?” the nurse asked her, and she nodded, unable to speak through her fear. “I’m Danielle, we have Abigail right over here,” she added moving her through the space towards the bay. “I’ll warn you, she has a lot of cuts and scrapes, but she’s been coming around.”
“Abby,” she said as they reached the bay. She caught her first glimpse of her daughter, and a cry stuck in her throat as she moved over to her side. “Oh baby…”
“I’m Dr. Jefferson,” the man checking the chart across from her said and she nodded not taking her eyes off Abby. “We need to take Abby up for an x-ray of her leg and we’d like to do a CT to check for head injuries. We’ve been monitoring her since she arrived, and her vitals are good. I can’t guarantee anything but she’s strong. She’s been regaining consciousness for longer periods each time.”
“Okay…is there…she’s allergic to morphine,” she managed to tell them as her mind began to work again.
“That’s very good to know. Miss Branson, I know this is difficult, but we do need to know about Abby’s medical history. Danielle can stay with you while we take Abby for tests, help get that information,” he said gently, and she nodded letting Danielle lead her to a quiet room to fill out the paperwork.
Time didn’t seem to move once she finished it, and her heart ached remembering how fragile Abby looked lying in the bed. She paced up and down the row in the waiting area Danielle showed her to, as she went to check on Abby. She couldn’t begin to breathe again as fear surrounded her and she sat down on the edge of a seat burying her face in her hands.
“Lisa,” she heard as a hand settled onto her shoulder.
She looked up to find Danielle there holding a cup of steaming tea and a smile. “Abby?”
“She’s being settled into a room. Let’s go see her,” Danielle replied handing the tea over. “It’s chamomile, we keep a secret stash of it behind the desk.”
“Thank you,” she managed to get out letting the warmth flow from it to her hands as they moved down the hallway. She saw Abby through the window and the cast on her leg hurt her heart. The doctor came out of the room, and she tensed, not sure if she wanted to know what he had to say.
“How is she?” she asked anyway, needing to know even if she didn’t want to.
“Very resilient, the CT showed no signs of significant trauma, there’s some inflammation but it’s expected. Her leg is broken but it’s a clean break, six to eight weeks in the cast should suffice. We’ve found no other broken bones and no internal injuries. We’re keeping her here for at least twenty-four hours of observation once she fully wakes to make sure nothing crops up, but she should come around soon.”
“She’s going to be okay?” she asked, almost not believing it.
“I see no reason why she won’t have a full recovery. You can go see her. She might still come in and out of consciousness but it’s her body’s way of trying to recover.”
She nodded, feeling the tears she’d held at bay for the last two hours since she heard the news slam into her at full force. She made it into the room and sat the tea down on the table, pulling a chair over to the side of Abby’s bed as she lifted her hand and held onto it tightly. She tried to fight the tears away, but they won, and she lowered her head to the mattress and let them come.
“Mom…” she heard sometime later, and she lifted her head finding Abby’s eyes open and full of pain. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t—don’t apologize for this sweetie. I should never have told you about the argument. It wasn’t fair to put that on you,” she said through her tears and happiness that she was awake.
“I didn’t want them to be mad at you. I didn’t see the car…”
“Shh, it’s okay sweetie. It’s okay Abby. It doesn’t matter, none of it does, just that you’re okay,” she assured her kissing her forehead as the nurse came into the room to check on them.
A bit later, she heard a knock on the door and moved over, finding Jazz and David there. She gave Jazz a smile, letting her run over to Abby and watched the two hug. It brought a new onslaught of tears to her, and she stepped out into the hallway to keep Abby from seeing them. She turned to face the wall as they took over and she leaned against it trying to stop from losing it entirely.
“Lisa, I am so sorry,” David said putting a hand on her back and she turned back towards him shaking her head. “I should have gone after her sooner when I saw how upset she was…”
“Don’t,” she told him before taking a step closer and hugging him. “Thank you for saving her. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her.”
“I didn’t do anything Lisa,” he replied when she stepped back.
“The paramedics told the doctor you stayed with her, wrapped her up to keep her warm and stopped the blood from her head—if you hadn’t, she might not be here.”
“If I hadn’t jumped to conclusions, she wouldn’t have been at my house yelling at me either.”
“What?”
“Abby came over to yell at me. She told me what you didn’t, what you shouldn’t have had to, about how you got pregnant with her and why you hid her away.”
“She didn’t tell you who did she?” Lisa asked running a hand through her hair to stop from curling up into a little ball to hide.
“No, she just said it was someone you should have been able to trust. I don’t need to know anything else. It’s not my business, I just…”
“Feel strongly about father’s rights, I get it,” she said turning her face away from him.
“I didn’t know about Jazz until she was two.”
“What?” she asked in surprise. “You said her mom was your high school girlfriend…”
“And she was—but she didn’t tell me she was pregnant before I left for school, and she also left town soon after. Like your hometown, no one knew, not until I got a knock on the door my junior year of college and a woman from social services was standing there with a request for a DNA sample. It took me six months to get full custody of Jazz because I wasn’t listed on her birth certificate and hearing your story…”
“Made you relive it—honestly it doesn’t matter anymore. The only thing that matters is Abby and I’m just saying a ton of thank yous right now that she’s going to be okay.”
“She is?” he asked, the worry on his face calming her more.
“Yeah, the doctor said he doesn’t see why she won’t fully recover. A broken leg, some cuts and bruises, the spot on her head is slightly inflamed but that’s all they found…and I’m so grateful for it.”
“I am too. Abby is an incredible kid. It’s scary how strong she is considering she’s only thirteen, but I can tell she gets it from her mother. She adores you and will go up against anyone who talks down about you.”
“She’s my world, even when she was across the country from me, she was still my world,” she said, thankful she was here in town with her, not on the other side of the country from her.
“When she was across the country from you to keep her safe?” David said shocking her. “Abby mentioned that you were threatened—someone was following you and you left to keep them from finding out about her.”
“Abby talks too much sometimes, but yes, I did.”
“She also said you ended a relationship that meant a lot to you because you were worried things would come out if she stayed with you.”
“She’s blaming herself, but she shouldn’t. The relationship was over already, I just wasn’t ready to admit it,” she lied, not about to get into that, not with him, not with anyone again.
“Really? I don’t think it’s true; I think it’s why you don’t see any of the men who give you second and third looks. I think Abby’s right and that you’re still hung up on this person or on what happened to you, and you’ve never moved past being the scared fifteen/sixteen-year-old girl you were.”
“Well, I’m not that girl anymore.”
“Is that why you’ve kept Abby quiet still?”
“I’ve kept her quiet, so she stays safe,” she said, needing him to understand that Abby’s safety was the most important thing to her, the reason why she didn’t tell the others about her, beyond the disappointment she knew they’d face. She’d never let anything harm her baby—not ever again. “The person who fathered her nearly killed me when I went home before I moved to New York. I refuse to put my daughter at risk simply so everyone can understand me, understand why I’ve done the things I have, including breaking up with Corey.”
“Corey—the person your daughter thinks you’re in love with?”
“I’m not in love with him; I’ve never been in love with him. It was just a stupid relationship that went on too long.”
“It’s not Lisa, not in your eyes and not in your daughter’s. Why not tell him about Abby and see if you all can’t move on together?” he asked, and she wished she could, wished more than anything that he was here with her right now. That Corey was holding her while she said thanks to god that her daughter was still here with her.
“Because if I told him about Abby, he’d demand to know the whole truth, who her genetic donor is, and he’d know if I was lying to him. Once he knew, he’d go back to Colorado and likely kill the bastard and if he wasn’t quick enough then he’d know about Abby, and we’d never be safe.”
“Surely if you told the truth he’d be in jail…”
“Statute of limitations is up; it wouldn’t matter anymore.”
“But with Abby isn’t there an exception or something?” he asked unsure of the laws.
She looked away not wanting the truth to come out more than it already had.
“Lisa…is there an exception because of Abby?”
“There was a rule that cancelled out the statute of limitations if there’s DNA evidence of the assault, but it has to be reported in ten years.”
“And it wasn’t I take it,” David said meeting her gaze.
“When I realized I was pregnant I went to a clinic outside of where I lived. While I was there the doctor asked me if I knew about the father’s health and I said no that I didn’t know who he was, that I’d only had sex once.”
“They didn’t believe you I take it?”
“No, he’d made me sleep with him the night before and she found evidence of the assault along with semen. She called the local police, and they told me to tell them who he was…I said no, that I wouldn’t tell them, and they took the report, along with the kit and that was it.”
“So, if you went back, told the truth of what happened, he would be prosecuted—and you and Abby would be safe.”
“No, I wouldn’t—because that’s not all that happened. After that he never touched me again, but only because I threatened to turn him in if he so much as looked at me wrong.”
“I figured you’d done something to stop it if no one knows about Abby.”
“Yeah, I’d done something. He wanted to meet, and I agreed to it, but before I went into the cabin where we were supposed to meet, I stuck a knife in his tire. Then I went inside with a tape recorder in my pocket, getting him to admit everything he’d done to me before telling him if he came near me again, I’d take it to the cops. He lunged at me, started shouting at me that he’d kill me before it ever got out, and I ran out the door. He followed and jumped in his car, trying to stop me before I could get home, but there was snow on the ground and his tire blew when he hit a rock. The car flipped, sending him down an embankment, crashing into trees—I saw him, barely moving inside the car, stuck, unable to get out and I left him there to die.”
“You were sixteen and he didn’t die.”
“No but he was paralyzed from the waist down. I caused that.”
“Even if he did file something against you there’s not a jury out there that would convict you, no DA would file criminal charges on you for being a scared—terrified sixteen-year-old who discovered she was pregnant after being forced to do what you were. You have all the proof on your side; he only has your fear and his intimidation on his.”
“I won’t do that to Abby though. I do not want that town looking at her as something to be wiped from the bottom of their shoe. I went overboard trying to cover up the fact that I was scared to death that he’d come after me—wheelchair or not, and the entire town has looked down on me because of it, even to this day. I did things that were stupid and reckless, but I didn’t care, because it wasn’t really me. The person I really am, is the one that I am when I’m with Abby. My brothers think I’m nothing but a slutty party girl who cares nothing about anyone’s feelings but her own. They think I’m still a childish brat that needs to grow up. I won’t subject my daughter to any of that.”
“Then show them who you really are, show them you’re the most unselfish mother I’ve ever met, that you’ve put Abby’s safety and best interest above your own—that you left Colorado to be with your daughter. If they love you, then they’ll find a way to love your daughter.”
“I can’t—I can’t risk her being hurt by any of them. I can’t risk them pushing me away either and I really can’t risk them trying to take over and make decisions for me.”
“Because one of the biggest decisions in your life was taken from you—you were a virgin the first time, weren’t you?” David asked gently, seeing the truth long before she spoke.
“Yeah, I was and if you’d ask a shrink, they’d probably agree that it’s the underlying cause of every stupid choice I made, but I still stand behind making them—good or bad.”
“Because you did it without anyone else’s input, without them forcing you to it?”
“Yeah—some people, typically girls, who can’t control their lives, the things that are happening in them, turn to anorexia or bulimia because it’s one thing that they can maintain control over—I went the opposite I suppose by making sure every decision—big, little, right, wrong, smart, dumb—they were all mine.”
“So? It was a way for you to cope with what happened Lisa—I’m sure the people in the town will understand that, and that you’re still using it to cope with the fear that he’ll harm the one person you love more than anything in the world.”
“Look, I get that you’re trying to make me feel better but it’s not going to work, it’s not going to change anything. I majored in business and psychology—everyone thought it was a crazy combination, but I knew why I did it, why I was so obsessed with the psych classes I took. I could spout off a ton of technical terms regarding my behavior, then and now, but I won’t. It doesn’t change anything; it’s an excuse that I won’t fall into, David. I did what I did, and I’ll do what I do for one reason—for one person. I lost focus in New York because of my job and Corey—I lost focus here and nearly lost Abby, that won’t happen again. I won’t let her be hurt again.”
“Today was an accident Lisa—you didn’t let her be hurt. She made a choice; surely, you of all people can understand that. She made a choice to come over and stand up for you. She didn’t make the choice to be hit by the car, but she put herself there—you didn’t.”
“But I can make sure she doesn’t have to be put in that position again.”
“Now who’s making the choices for someone else?”
“I’m not making the choice for her; I’m eliminating it as a possibility. I won’t have her risking herself to stand up for me. I don’t care that she does. I don’t care that she yelled at you or told you what she did. I care that I nearly lost her because I didn’t do it myself.”
“And you think that will solve everything? Your brothers are still going to think of you as selfish, your family isn’t going to know the real you, the truth…and the person who hurt you could be out there, hurting others like you.”
“No, he can’t—see that’s the one good thing that came from the accident—he can’t hurt anyone like that. He’s stuck in a wheelchair and that part of his body doesn’t work in that capacity. He has to use catheters and I’m not sorry about it at all, only that he’s still breathing.”
“Nothing is going to change your mind, is it?” David asked, giving her a long look.
“No, it’s not. I’m going to do whatever I have to in order to keep Abby safe. I’ll give up anything I have to; I’ll let people think whatever I have to, my happiness isn’t what I worry about—it’s hers.”
“But she worries about yours, Lisa. Doesn’t that tell you something—doesn’t it show that the best way for her to be happy is if you are?”
“I am, as long as she’s safe,” Lisa said looking through the window at Abby and Jazz, giving them a smile as she pushed aside everything else to focus on getting Abby better and whole again. That’s all she cared about, she told herself over and over ignoring the ache that had nothing to do with her daughter’s accident and everything to do with missing Corey.