Chapter 11
L isa, give me a call. It’s been months since you’ve answered a call for longer than a quick ‘hello, sorry I’m busy and have to go’. Your father and I are worried about you. Please call me back.
Lisa hit the delete on the phone and sat it down on the desk sighing as she studied the latest projection on her laptop. She was trying her best to focus on her work and ignore the worry about Abby being out with David and Jazz on her crutches. She knew David wouldn’t let her overdo it or get hurt, but she still worried. Her phone rang again, and she saw her dad’s information appear on the screen. She didn’t want to talk to any of them and hit the decline letting it go to voicemail as she got up and looked out the window.
She was feeling blue and knew exactly why, although she told herself that it was just leftovers from Abby’s accident. It was far more than that and deep inside she knew it, knew that she’d never be able to get through this day the same again. She let out a sigh and moved to her bedroom, changing clothes before grabbing her handbag and heading out. There was no way she’d ever be able to face tonight sober. Abby was spending the night with Jazz completely unaware of her mood and it meant that she could go out and drink without worrying about being responsible.
She headed downtown, stopping at the first place she came to and moved to the bar as her phone rang yet again. She didn’t bother looking at the display this time, she knew who it was by just the ringtone, and it took everything inside her to not answer. She desperately wanted to, but it wouldn’t be wise to hear his voice—not tonight. She heard the alert tone announcing the voicemail message and she sat the phone down in front of her on the bar and stared at the screen, willing herself to be stronger than this. She lost the fight and hit the icon to listen to the message, leaning her arm onto the bar and resting her head on it.
Lisa…I shouldn’t be doing this…I’ve forced myself to not call you a million times the last five months, especially after your brother came looking for you, but tonight…I can’t do it. I can’t stop from trying tonight. Last year on this very night, I met the woman who stole my heart then tore it to shreds. I should hate you. I’ve tried to hate you, but I can’t. I don’t care what you give me in return; I will take anything because I’m dying without you. I will give you anything in the world—do anything you want because I don’t care. To hell with the company, screw what the world thinks of me, all I want is you back. Come home to me baby—come home Lisa, please…
She bit the inside of her lips, feeling the tears as the message ended. She’d give anything to be able to go back to him, but she couldn’t, she couldn’t do that and keep Abby safe. She set her phone back down and closed her eyes trying to stop herself from picking it up and calling him just to hear his voice more.
“Looks like you could use a drink—what can I get you?” a voice questioned, and she lifted her head towards the bartender.
“Vodka tonic,” she said turning the phone over to make it easier to keep her resolve in place.
“Ice?”
“No, no ice—and make it a double, actually you can hold the tonic and just give me the vodka,” she stated knowing it wouldn’t be smart but to hell with being smart right now.
“I know that look,” the woman said filling up a glass for her. “Man troubles?” she asked when her phone rang again, and she tightened her hands slightly to stop from picking it up.
“My ex…tonight’s the anniversary of when we met, best night of my life.”
“Well stay strong sugar, if he’s an ex he’s an ex for a reason, right?” the woman said filling up her glass again at her nod after she’d tossed it back. “Give me a shout if you need another.”
“Will do,” Lisa said letting the woman head over to take care of the others as she turned her stool around and looked out at the people in the place. They all seemed to be enjoying themselves far more than she was, and she wished she could be carefree and happy again. She wished for a lot of things, the least of which was to have Corey with her again, but that was impossible, and she had to move on entirely.
Lisa turned back to the bar and lifted her phone, seeing the second ring had been a text message instead of another call. She pulled up the message and saw the photo attached to it. Their smiling faces made her shake her head as she stared at it, the hurt enough that she tossed back the rest of her drink and asked for another.
She let the night wear on and moved stools as jerks came up to hit on her. She didn’t want anyone new in her life. She just wanted what she couldn’t have. She pulled up the photo album of her and Corey she had on her phone and flicked through them remembering that first incredible night, the difference in what she’d felt during it compared to others she’d known. Those differences had simply increased during their months together and she sighed, looking for the bartender for another drink before she called him back.
“Honey, no man is worth all this pain. Forget the fool and move on, if he wasn’t good enough for you once he’s not going to be good enough for you again,” she offered as she refilled her glass.
“He was good enough; hell, he was perfect. I was the one who ended it, who couldn’t believe it’d work. Six months and I refused to even let him tell people we were together…then I left.”
“And he’s calling you still?”
“First time since I moved,” she admitted. “He said he’d take anything I’d give him—and he would. I just can’t give him what he wants.”
“What’s that?”
“My heart—I can’t do that without telling him the truth and he wouldn’t want it then. Actually, that’s not true, I think even then he would still want it; I just can’t do it. I can’t tell him what I refused to back then—I just can’t.”
“Honey, if you couldn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting here downing shots to try and stop from thinking about him. You would be with someone new who didn’t care. Loyalty in a man is rare; if he’s offering it, take it. Whatever you think, you can’t tell him I guarantee you can, and I don’t think you need half a bottle of vodka to do it. Call him; if he’s not in town then it should be easier to tell him the truth.”
“I don’t think it would be,” she stated thinking about it as the woman walked away again. She downed the drink and put her phone back down when she saw the bottle appear.
“I’m cutting you off after this one,” she heard, the voice a deep timber instead of the woman’s and her head popped up as her heart stopped.
“What the hell?”
“You keep walking into my bars on this night baby,” Corey said pulling her from the chair. He slid his arm around her and pulled her against his body, his other hand pushing deep into her hair as his mouth lowered to hers, kissing her, drinking in her scent and taste.
“Well, I guess I was wrong, seems like you have moved on,” the bartender said with a chuckle putting the bottle back.
“What was that about?” Corey asked, breaking off the kiss to stare down into her beautiful face.
“I broke up with someone recently,” Lisa lied. “The sex wasn’t what I craved after you I guess.”
“Liar—you were thinking about us, weren’t you? I couldn’t face being in New York tonight, didn’t want the reminders of that night and you to haunt me,” Corey said as his hand slid up and down her back. “So, I came here—to be closer to you although I had no idea where in the city you were. I wasn’t going to come to the bar, but I needed a drink.”
“And why pay for the mini bar when you can get it here for free?” she guessed as her body woke up and demanded for her to sate it.
“Exactly, why did you come to my bar tonight, Lisa? Why?” he asked, lowering his mouth back down to hers.
“I didn’t know it was yours. It was the first one on my path…closest one to getting drunk and forgetting about meeting you.”
“Why forget?”
“Because this will never work—I’ll never be who you want me to be.”
“All I want is you—however you’ll let me have you. I won’t tell a soul, not even your parents who are worried sick about you, so worried they’ve been calling me to see if I knew where you were.”
“I don’t care about them, not right now,” she admitted leaning into him.
“No? Then what do you care about, Lisa? What do you want, baby?”
“You, now—right now,” she stated knowing it was impossible to resist when he was right in front of her.
“You have me always,” he promised covering her lips with his in a crushing kiss that left him hungry for more. He looked over to Stephanie and told her, “Her tab’s on me. We’ll just take this to go.”
Corey reached over for the unopened bottle of whiskey.
“Got it boss, enjoy your drinks,” she said, and Lisa found herself walking out the front door and across the street to the hotel.
“No room over the bar here?”
“No, that’s why there’s the hotel across the street,” he teased giving her kisses as they waited for the elevator. He backed her into the wall of it the moment the doors closed and refused to part their mouths until the doors opened into his penthouse suite. He moved a hand down under her knees and lifted her, taking her to the bedroom and setting her down on the bed.
Lisa moved up onto her knees reaching for his shirt as he pulled it from his pants. She let him pull her top over her head and his eyes took in her entire body, the curves of her breasts, the flat expanse of her stomach, and the jeans covering her legs. “You’re far too beautiful for my own good baby.”
“Get over here.” Lisa groaned, grabbing the edges of his shirt, and pulling him down on top of her as she laid back on the bed.
“I’ve missed you, missed this,” he said trailing kisses over her body as he stripped her pants from her, leaving her in just her bra and panties. “I tried to forget you anyway I could, drinking, working, sleeping, running…”
“Screwing?” she guessed, reaching for his belt buckle.
“No,” he replied stopping her. “There’s been no one since you. Don’t you get it Lisa? You own me—you own everything about me, and I didn’t want any other woman in my bed but you. I want all of you, but I’ll settle for whatever you give me,” he added, and her internal battle waged a much bigger war than ever before, nearly making her give in entirely to it.
“How about this,” she suggested pushing him back until she could straddle his lap. She reached back and undid her bra, letting it fall to the floor as she undid his pants, sliding them down the slightest bit before pressing her hips into his.
“You’re killing me baby,” he groaned, and she smiled reaching into his boxer briefs for him. “If you don’t stop, I won’t last,” he warned as she slid her hand up and down him.
“Neither will I,” she admitted pushing her underwear aside because getting up would be too much hassle and settled over his pulsing length.
“God damn baby, that warning label should be changed,” he said cupping her ass as she moved against him. “It should read lethal sexiness, do not tempt if not prepared for action.”
“You should know it, Corey. Now shut the hell up and kiss me,” she said gripping his shoulders tighter when he covered her breast and not her mouth. “Oh god…no one can do this quite like you.”
She gasped when he pushed her over the edge. Her body tightened around his and she felt him follow as she collapsed on top of him.
“That’s because no one loves you like I do,” he replied lifting her chin to kiss her until they were both craving more. He discarded the rest of their clothes and kept her in bed with him until the sun began to peak along the horizon. Her eyes began to close, her breathing slowing and he held her tighter refusing to let go when she tried to move away from him.
“I love you baby and one of these days you’ll love me too,” he whispered before letting himself rest too.
When he woke, she was up, pulling her clothes on and he moved over to her grabbing her top from her hands.
“Let go Corey, you’re going to rip it,” she said meeting his gaze. “You said you’d take whatever I’d give, well that’s what I’m willing to give, nothing more.”
“Just drunken sex in the dark?”
“No, well just sex yes, but not the drunken or in the dark parts. I have to go Corey. I have plans for the day already.”
“When can I see you again?” he asked, trying not to shake her to get her to see reason.
“I don’t know. I work a lot. I have friends and things that occupy my free time…besides there’s also the fact that you live in New York. I’m sure you need to get back there.”
“Not without knowing that I’m going to see you again. I can’t go another six months without you. I don’t want to go another six minutes without you.”
“Tuesday night, seven o’clock,” she suggested. “That’s when I’m usually free but it can’t be at my place still. That’s my space…”
“I have to be back in New York this Tuesday. I can’t reschedule this meeting.”
“And I really have to go right now—maybe the next week?”
“Alright,” he agreed letting her have her top. He pulled her up against him and kissed her, showing her exactly what they were meant to be doing, that they were meant to be together, and hoped she’d see it too.
“I really have to go,” she said again finally pulling away. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“If you don’t answer I will come back, to hell with what day it is or how busy you are.”
“Okay,” she said giving him a smile as she grabbed her bag and slipped on her shoes. She hurried home and thought she’d made it in time, but as she was heading to the bedroom to take a shower the door opened and Abby moved inside, followed by David and Jazz.
“Mom…what are you doing, wearing…never mind,” Abby said laughing lightly. “I take it you had a good night?”
“Abigail, behave,” she replied kissing the top of her head. “I’m going to take a shower; think you can entertain yourself for a bit?”
“Sure thing, Mom,” Abby agreed, and she slipped off as the memories of the night came to her. She sighed wishing she hadn’t needed to go and could have spent more time with Corey.
Tell him the truth and you can , floated through her head and she shut off the water, drying herself before putting on her comfortable attire. The lounge pants were from Corey for Valentines’ Day, and she teamed them with the oversized thin tee over her racer-back workout top. She didn’t want to go anywhere today and when she returned to the living room, she found Jazz and David still there.
“Who’s hungry?” she asked them with a grin. “I can do French toast, waffles…egg quiche…”
“Waffles, please do your waffles Mom,” Abby pleaded, and she moved into the kitchen after giving her a hug.
“You look much brighter than I expected—late night drinking?” David guessed coming in with her.
“Do I ask what you get up to when I have the girls?”
“No, but it’s only been three weeks since they’ve began their overnight stays.”
“And last night was the first one that you’ve done. I know it was my choice but…last night was different. I knew I wouldn’t be very good company so instead I let half a bottle of vodka be my company.”
“Why’s that?” he asked when she took out the ingredients to make the waffles.
“Last night was the one-year anniversary of when I met Corey—and somehow, some crazy twist of fate…had him showing up at the bar, which I should have realized was his.”
“So, you spent the night with Corey?”
“Yes, I spent the night with Corey and no I don’t know if I’m going to tell him about Abby just yet. He’s agreed to take things however I want them to be, and if you’re sure about taking the girls on Tuesday nights…”
“Then you’re going to go out with Corey? Isn’t that a little difficult if he’s in New York?”
“He’s willing to do whatever I want. We’ll see what happens, for right now I need to see if what I feel is real or not,” she admitted hoping things became clearer the next time she saw him, she didn’t need any more confusion in her life.