Chapter 12
“O h my god,” Lisa said staring at the stick. This couldn’t be happening, not like this, not now, but her stomach rolled again, and she didn’t doubt that it was real. She’d never felt like this before, she was hardly ever sick, but the last two mornings she’d barely been able to stop herself from throwing up. Now she felt like it again, but she figured it had more to do with what the test said than anything else.
She’d asked for clarity not more confusion. She hadn’t seen Corey since that morning. He hadn’t been able to make it to town this last Tuesday and he’d called yesterday to let her know that this coming Tuesday he would be in London on business. She had no idea what she was going to do, but there was no way she could keep this news secret for long.
She tried her best over the next week to hide her symptoms from Abby. Her daughter was far too smart and would put it together instantly. She didn’t want to try to explain what happened and her feelings about it all, when she didn’t know in the slightest what they truly were. Her mother’s constant phone calls didn’t help her any either and she called Corey to cancel their next possible Tuesday together. She had a doctor’s appointment that Friday and headed to it as her mind whirled.
“Based on what you’ve said you’re likely around six weeks, it’s too early to pick up a heartbeat through the Doppler but let’s see what we can find out on the ultrasound,” the doctor suggested, and she tried to relax while Cassidy checked on the baby. “There it is,” she told her turning the monitor to allow her to see. “It’s beating strong.”
“All this time I was trying to figure out how I felt—but it’s the same as before, I’d do anything for this baby,” Lisa said as tears hit her seeing the tiny little spot that was her baby—her and Corey’s baby.
“Sometimes you have to see it fully before you can understand it,” Cassidy suggested. “Take it easy, rest when you feel tired, get plenty of fluids, and if anything doesn’t feel right let me know. I’ll schedule you for some blood work in about two weeks and we’ll take it from there.”
“Thank you,” she told her as she put the ultrasound photo in her bag and went to pick up Abby. She should be getting her cast off today and she was thrilled that her daughter was finally recovered. Lisa picked her up at school and they headed to the doctor’s office. Abby held her hand as they cut the cast, and she cautiously flexed her foot when it was off. Her happiness was contagious, and they met Jazz and David for their normal Friday night dinner.
“What’s going on with you?” he asked when the girls headed to the arcade.
“I’ve been thinking, a lot the last couple weeks, trying to find answers and today I got some.”
“About what?”
“About what I need to do for myself, for Abby, our future.”
“Please tell me you’re not moving back to New York—Jazz will be devastated to lose Abby.”
“I don’t know what we’re going to do yet. I need to talk to Abby tonight. There are some big changes coming and I can’t make all of the decisions myself.”
“Big changes? Is this about Corey becoming a permanent fixture I your life?”
“In a way—I’m pregnant.”
“What? That night…” he said, and she nodded.
“I’m at six weeks now, I had the appointment today to confirm and the second she showed me the heartbeat on the ultrasound I knew that I’d do anything for this baby, the same way I’d do anything for Abby. I know when I tell Corey he’s going to insist on telling my parents and I can’t keep the baby from him. I just need to make sure that Abby is kept safe and is comfortable with all of this.”
“Congratulations on the baby, I hope things go well for all of you and if you and Abby do move, I hope you come back to visit. Jazz won’t be the only person missing a friend.”
“I know Abby wouldn’t be either. I don’t know what’s going to happen I just know I have to figure it out.”
“At least you have a couple weeks off work to do it,” he said, and she nodded glad they had worked out a schedule that allowed her to be home with Abby during winter break.
She kept thinking about what their future could hold as they headed home, and she settled Abby on the couch with her to tell her once they arrived. “Can we talk?” she asked her.
“Yeah, what’s going on? You’ve been…I don’t know. There’s this happy glow about you,” Abby said looking at her closely. “Is this about a guy? Are you seeing someone?”
“The night you spent with Jazz, when you caught me coming home in the morning…”
“Mom, I already know you were having sex with someone that night. I’m fine with it, but I would like to meet the guy if you’re willing to sleep with him.”
“I…this is harder than I thought it’d be,” she admitted taking a deep breath and letting it out before meeting her daughter’s gaze again. “That night, I went out, not looking to meet anyone or sleep with anyone, but…I did.”
“Okay, it’s still fine.”
“That night was the one-year anniversary of when I met Corey. I was missing him even though I’ve tried my best not to—to move on, I still wanted him.”
“Mom…this is my fault, isn’t it?”
“No, sweetie, there’s no fault in any of this I promise,” she said with a smile. “I didn’t sleep with someone new—I slept with Corey.”
“What?How?”
“He didn’t want to be in New York and face the memories of the night either, so he came here to Chicago. I went out to get a drink to push the memories away and didn’t pay attention to the bar I went to; I should have but I didn’t…Corey owns the bar I was at, and he came in to get a drink too. What happened was something I should have known would happen if we saw each other again. It was everything it ever had been between us.”
“So, you’re back together with Corey? Mom that’s great!” Abby said with a huge smile. “Wait…you want to move back to New York don’t you and you’re worried that I’ll be upset leaving here and Jazz.”
“Corey and I aren’t together yet. I haven’t seen him since that morning. We were going to spend Tuesdays together, but things have come up and I cancelled this week’s to think.”
“About what? I’ll deal if we move back to New York. As long as you’re happy, I don’t care. Jazz and I can talk and Skype. Corey makes you happy Mom, I know he does.”
“He does,” she agreed cupping Abby’s cheek with a light smile. “I cancelled this week because I was still processing the news, and I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“What news?”
“That I’m pregnant,” she admitted, and Abby’s eyes grew huge before she broke out with a smile.
“You’re pregnant? I’m going to have a brother or sister? That is so totally awesome!” she exclaimed hugging her. “What did Corey say when you told him?”
“I haven’t yet. I was trying to figure out what to do. I can’t keep it from him but if I tell him he’ll tell Mom and Dad.”
“And you can’t be with him and keep me from him, which means you can’t keep me from them…so where does that leave us?”
“Telling the truth finally,” she said squeezing Abby’s hand. “I miss Corey. When I saw the baby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound today, it was the same thing I felt when I saw you on yours. I will do anything to keep you safe but…”
“But to keep your heart safe you need Corey,” Abby guessed. “I will be careful Mom. I will do whatever you ask me to do. I just want you to be happy and with me. You said Corey had more money than he knew what to do with—don’t you think he’d use part of it to make sure we’re all safe? If he knows how much you love me—if he sees that it’s the same with the baby that you’re having…”
“I know,” she said as the tears came seeing how smart and strong her daughter was. “He would have done it six months ago I was just scared still.”
“But you’re not anymore?”
“No, I am—but I have to be stronger than that for you and this baby. I have to be strong enough to take a chance, to tell the truth and let people see who I really am.”
“They’ll love you even more. So, when are you going to tell them—Corey about the baby and me, and Grandma and Grandpa about everything else?”
“I don’t know yet. It’s going to be hard enough to do it once, let alone two to three times.”
“Then just do it once,” Abby suggested with a smile. “You told me you really love Christmas at the resort—in Colorado with the snow, so let’s go. Have Corey come and we’ll all go there together.”
“That will put us closer to…”
“The genetic marker? He can’t do anything to us without everyone knowing it’s him, right? Whether you tell them who or not, I don’t care. Come on Mom, stand up and fight. Let’s start the new year all together.”
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” she asked Abby, giving her a huge hug as she kissed the top of her head.
“I know just how much you love me; I always have. I might have questioned it once or twice, but I always knew,” she replied going to change for bed giving her time to call Corey.
“Lisa, I was beginning to worry you’d changed your mind,” he said answering on the second ring as he thought about her and how to make her his again.
“I just needed some time to think. What are you doing for Christmas?”
“Nothing, I was looking at a week alone with a bottle of whiskey unless you have other ideas.”
“I do,” she stated working up to the Colorado bit.
“Let me guess a beach vacation?”
“No, one to Colorado might be nice though.”
“Colorado? You want to go home to see your family after avoiding them for months?”
“Yeah, I think it’s time to clear some things up and I really want you to be there.”
“I’ll get the first plane out to you that I can.”
“I have to stop in California first,” she lied. “Meet me there on the twenty-first?”
“Alright, baby, what’s going on?”
“I’ll explain later. Right now, I just want to hear your voice,” she stated looking up plane tickets and sending Diane an email with the info on it.
“I’ll talk to you forever, always, anytime but you’re worrying me Lisa, more than when you ended things between us.”
“I promise you’ll find out once we’re in Colorado. I just need to tell everyone at the same time. Don’t worry my family loves you—probably more than me. Everything will make sense once we’re there. Don’t tell them I’m coming unless you get there before I do—then you can tell them and if you want to use the downstairs guest room that’s fine.”
“Baby, why would I want to use a room you aren’t in?”
“You just might—or you might leave.”
“Get it through your brain right now Lisa, no matter what you do, what you say, I am not going to run away from you. I know who you are. I know the person you are, and I know that you’re worried about something. I will be there no matter what though. I love you—I thought I knew what love was once, but I didn’t until I met you. Didn’t know how resilient it was until I met you, baby. I will do anything you want or need, so I will meet you in Colorado on the twenty-first and I will show you that I mean every word I’ve said to you.”
“I really hope so. I should go. I need to pack and get the tickets; I can’t wait to see you again.”
“That makes two of us,” he said letting her hang up as he tried to figure out what happened to change her mind and what she could possibly need to explain. He didn’t know but he knew that he’d never walk away from her, never let her walk away from them, not again.
***
Lisa put the phone down, nearly jumping when it rang and she answered letting out a breath, “Hi Diane.”
“Meet you and Abby in Colorado? What is going on?”
Lisa explained everything, including the pregnancy as she curled up on the couch. “I can’t go on like this—I can’t miss him this much anymore.”
“I understand honey. Are you sure you want to do it now though? The resort is always crowded on Christmas.”
“I know but if I put it off then I’ll have to tell Corey now and them later. I don’t know if I can do it once let alone two or three times.”
“I will be there next to you the entire time. I’ll meet you at the airport and we’ll go together.”
“That sounds perfect Diane,” she said and when they reached the airport, she hugged her tightly after Abby had.
“How are you feeling?”
“Nervous, scared, nauseous…just normal I guess,” she said trying to be funny as they hit the car rental desk. She got them loaded into the SUV and started out, getting messages from her parents and brothers asking her what was going on starting midway through the drive.
Her phone rang a bit later and she answered it using the car’s system to keep her hands on the wheel. “Hi Corey.”
“Hi baby, your parents have been grilling me about why I’m here. When can I tell them you’ll be arriving?”
“They’re listening in, aren’t they?” she asked with a grin.
“They are—but can we expect you this afternoon, this evening…never?”
“I should be there in about an hour and a half,” she said adding fifteen to their travel time. “I’d say just before five.”
“I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Corey.”
“Drive carefully; I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“I’m always careful out here. I’ll see you all soon, okay?”
“Bye baby, I love you,” Corey said, and she felt a smile slip onto her lips.
“He really does Lisa,” Diane stated once the call ended.
“I know—but I can’t focus on that until after he knows the truth.”
“He’s not going to walk away from you,” Diane replied putting a hand on her shoulder. “He’s going to pull you in closer and refuse to let go, especially once he knows about the baby.”
“Let’s keep that part between the three of us until after I’ve told him. I don’t want him staying just because of the baby.”
“He won’t be Mom,” Abby said shaking her head. “He’s going to love you the same after you tell him. He’ll probably demand to know the name, but he’ll still love you completely.”
“He will, Lisa,” Diane added. “He’ll love both of you and if your brothers have anything to say then they can come through me. If anyone in this town tries to say anything, they can all come through me. They won’t get far my love, I guarantee that.”
“I love you two so much,” she told them settling in for the rest of the drive. She didn’t want to focus on anything but the road right now. Worries were constant to her, and they wouldn’t rest until the truth was out—even then they would likely be around still, but she’d do her best to stop them, and anyone else who tried to hurt Abby.