Twenty-Seven
“Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection.”
~Simon Pegg
Elliot stared at the FOR RENT sign on the door of her studio, a new lock fastened to the freshly painted door. What had she done?
He’d given up leaving her voicemails and searched for her, only to find every trace of her gone.
Sitting on the curb was the bench her students sat on to tie up their shoes.
A sickening feeling latched on as the world suddenly seemed enormous.
She could go anywhere and never answer a single call from him again.
He got in his car and gripped the wheel. Where could she be? Pulling up his contacts he dialed Asher through the blue tooth and started to drive toward home.
“Do you realize what time it is?”
“I need Steve’s number.” Maybe the guy pulled through with the studio deal and she’d moved her business there.
“Elliot, what’s going on?”
“I need his number, Asher. I don’t have time to explain.”
“Where are you? You sound upset.”
“I’m losing my fucking mind! Are you going to give me his number or not?”
“Okay. Okay. I just sent you his contact.” His cell pinged with the text. “Did something happen?”
“She’s gone. Nadia’s gone. I fucking ruined it.”
Lettie’s voice murmured in the background, and Asher whispered something as the phone muffled. Elliot gripped the wheel, his molars locked as he sped toward Steve’s gym.
“Elliot, I’m sure you didn’t ruin anything. Tell me what happened. Is this why you called out today?”
His eyes prickled as he stared at the dark road. “It’s me. I can’t do this. I don’t know how to do this, Asher. I don’t know how you let yourself be this vulnerable for Scarlet.”
“Okay, calm down. Are you driving?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe you should pull over.”
“I need to find her.”
“You will, but you need to calm down. Take a breath. Do you think she’s with Steve?”
The old him would have gone into a full-fledged delusion by now, picturing her with another man, but his mind couldn’t go there. No matter how much damage he’d done, he knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t do that.
“No. I don’t know. They’re supposed to be going into business together. He’s the only person she might have contacted. He’s the only person I can think to ask.”
“I’m texting him now. Where are you heading?”
“I don’t know. I’m just driving. She could be anywhere. She gave up her studio, Ash. It’s like she’s giving up on everything.” If she’d give up on her dreams he didn’t stand a chance.
“Elliot, you need to calm down. Wait, Steve just texted me back. He saw her today, but he says he doesn’t want to be involved in whatever’s going on. Says Nadia’s his friend and his loyalty is to her.”
Elliot’s hand slammed down on the wheel. “Fuck! Fucking mother fucker! What’s his address?”
“Whoa. Slow down. You are not going to barge into his place demanding answers, Elliot. Think for a second.”
“I am thinking.”
“Really? Because Steve’s a bodybuilder three times your size.”
He ground his teeth. “What am I supposed to do? She could be anywhere. What if she’s leaving the country? What if I never get to fix this or tell her I’m sorry I’m such a dysfunctional prick? What if I never get to hold her again or kiss her or hear her laughter…”
His voice ceased as emotion choked him. His foot eased off the pedal as his vision blurred. “I love her, Asher.” His breath escaped in a shaky exhalation. “And it’s ripping me to shreds.”
“Elliot, whatever happened, you can fix it.”
“What if I can’t?”
“I believe you can. You’re Elliot Garnet. You can fix anything.”
“Not this. Not relationships. I’m good with numbers and guarantees. I’ve never been good with people.”
“That’s not true. Do you remember when we were kids and I was getting picked on for my stutter? You were the only person willing to be my friend. You were patient and never made me feel stupid when I tried to get something out. You made me feel safe and eventually, I stopped stuttering around you.”
“And then you stopped stuttering around everyone else.”
“Yeah. But you made me believe I could overcome my nerves. You made me believe I could do anything if I found the right approach. We just need to find the right approach.”
His breathing slowed. “Everything was so hard. It got easier the second we got out of school, you know? Fewer people watching over our shoulders, less pressure to be like everyone else. Being with Nadia puts incredible pressure on me to measure up and be better than every other man. What was I thinking?”
“Maybe she doesn’t want you to be like every other man. Maybe she wants you to be Elliot.”
“No one wants that.”
“Enough!” Asher snapped. “I get what it is to be your worst critic, but I’m sick of you ripping my friend apart.
You give yourself no credit, Elliot. If I needed something, you’d be the first guy I ask, because I know you’re dependable.
And yeah, you’re opinionated and anal, but so what.
You’re fucking brilliant and honest and always putting other people’s feelings before your own.
It’s why people exhaust you so much. You’re not an introvert because you're a social outcast, you're an introvert because you want to fix everything. You only know how to be the hero and you hate letting people down. Look at how you’ve stepped up for your mom after your dad died. Look at all you’ve done for Nadia.
My God, when Lettie was pregnant and complained of back pains, you set up weekly prenatal massages.
I’m her fucking husband and I didn’t even think to do that.
When will you realize how much other people appreciate you? ”
“Scarlet hates me.”
“My wife loves you, you idiot. But you’re not the easiest person to small talk with. She was thrilled you and Nadia came for dinner the other night.”
“Small talk’s a waste of time.”
Asher groaned. “You’re such a dick. Can you just take a compliment for once?”
His speed slowed as he turned into his neighborhood. Since calling Asher his panic had subsided into a low grade freak out. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, how about you go home, get some sleep if you can, and tomorrow morning I’ll meet you at your place and we’ll find her.”
Knowing he had a friend like Asher on his side helped. While Elliot might be addicted to fixing things, Asher was one who couldn’t accept defeat. Together they made an unstoppable team. “Okay. Thanks. I … needed…”
“I know. We all need to hear it from time to time.”
He drew in a shaky breath. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Elliot.”
The call disconnected as he pulled up to the gate and punched in the code.
His body was overwrought from a sleepless night and a day of whiplash emotions and worry.
He’d fix this. Tomorrow he’d find her and he’d insist she listen to him.
He could be the man she deserved. He just needed to convince her to give him a second chance.
Walking up to the front door, he keyed open the lock and flipped on the foyer light and stilled. His heart jerked hard in his chest and the wind knocked out of him.
“Nadia.”
She looked up at him, her eyes smoky and her cheeks streaked with rivulets of makeup. Her chin trembled as her hands gripped her phone. “I got your messages.”