Chapter 19 #3
“Not my concern? This is my family—of course, it’s my concern! What happens when you go to prison or get killed? What happens when Triton is shut down by the feds? Everything about your actions affects my life.”
“Why do you think I’ve kept my identity a secret?
” he shot back at me, his anger finally getting the better of him.
“To ensure I’m never touched and neither are any of you.
No one, outside of a select few, knows who I am—that now includes whoever fed you the information.
You’re going to tell me who that is, for all our safety. ”
“And Mom, does she know?” I asked, ignoring his last comment.
“Of course, she knows.”
The more I learned, the clearer it all became.
“Maria too—she knows, doesn’t she? That’s why you two have always been so close—she’s always known.
” That realization was surprisingly painful.
Was I not trustworthy enough to be brought into the fold?
Why had she been included in their secrets but not me? “Am I the only one who didn’t know?”
“We’ve never told Sofia. Giada and her sisters, none of them know. La cosa nostra, this thing of ours, it’s not discussed. There’s no reason for the children to know—it’s safer for all of us.”
“Giada? Uncle Edoardo—he’s in this too?”
He dropped his chin in affirmation.
Holy shit. How had I not known my entire family was part of the mob? What rock had I been living under?
“The man who told you this information—is he the man you’ve been seeing?”
I was steadfast in my vow of silence. I would not give up Luca’s identity.
“Don’t protect him, Alessia. The only reason he’s seeing you is to get information about our family. Our business in the last year has been booming, and the other families are jealous, looking for ways to bring us down. He’s using you.”
Could he be right? How could I trust anything my father said when he’d lied to me for so long?
Sure, I believed he wanted the best for me, but maybe he thought that meant keeping Luca away at all costs.
Luca claimed to be honest with me and gained nothing by telling me about my father, but he was just as morally corrupt.
He knew who I was the whole time, setting up ways to get close to me, then worked his way under my skin.
Had it all been a tactic to get close to my father?
I couldn’t trust either of them, but I still didn’t have it in me to rat out Luca.
I didn’t want to be near him, but I didn’t want my father to hurt him either.
“I’m not seeing him any longer, so you don’t have to worry about him, but I’m also not telling you his name.
I need to go home now—just being here makes me sick.
” I stood without meeting his eyes and walked toward the door.
Each step was heavier than the last under the crushing weight of heartbreak.
“I’m going to let Leo know to be on the lookout for this man—I don’t want him anywhere near you,” he called out behind me.
I paused and turned back, unable to summon any more surprise. “My driver? He’s one of yours then?”
“One of our best soldiers. Just because you never knew, didn’t mean I haven’t provided protection for you.”
I could sense the pride in his voice, but it didn’t sway me like he may have hoped. “Silly me, I should have known Leo was never just a driver.”
“How do you think I’ve been able to give you all this?” He lifted his hands to indicate Triton and all the advantages we’d grown up with. “Before you go back to your pretty high-rise apartment and condemn me, think about all the opportunities this life has given you.”
“I see nothing but blood money.”
“Well, you’re a part of the family now, so you better get used to it.”
I walked away from him, tears welling in my eyes. He was right. No matter how I felt or what I did, I was a part of the life. My knowledge alone could get me killed. I never wanted any of it, but fighting would be futile. So, where did that leave me?
Leo was waiting for me outside, his black Cadillac double-parked on the busy street. Instead of slipping into the back seat as I usually did, I joined him up front in the passenger seat.
“Well, hello,” he offered with a surprised raise of his blond brows.
“You work for my father?” I asked without any greeting.
“Uhhh … what’s this all about?”
“You don’t have to play dumb; I know about my father now. I know he’s in the mafia.”
“Shit, Alessia, watch your mouth.” He gaped at me as if I’d called in a bomb threat to the White House. “You don’t go spouting that shit—you’ll get yourself killed.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone. He said you were one of his soldiers, whatever that means, so I knew that you knew. You don’t even work for a service, do you?”
“I work for your father. You are my one and only priority.”
“Do you report back to him on where I go and what I do?”
He cut his eyes over to me in answer.
All these years, while my father had acted indifferent about my life, he’d been watching over me.
It was somewhat reassuring to know he had cared, but it didn’t totally make up for the feeling of betrayal.
I felt like my life was a reality TV show, and everyone knew but me.
I had been living a pretend life, blithefully unaware nothing around me was real.
My lifestyle had been supported by dirty money—my clothes to my education—nothing was clean.
The man I’d called father all my life was a stranger.
Even my life’s purpose to run our family business was now tainted.
The question remained—who was I in the wake of so many lies?
Could I be the same person I’d been hours ago?
If I could still be that girl, did I even want to be her any longer?