Chapter Three
CHAPTER THREE
Gem
“I honestly don’t know what to do next,” I said, sipping the coffee Finn had brought me as I pondered my fate and leant over the counter, staring darkly at the floor of The Lost World.
“In general, or after the campaign wraps up?” Finn asked as he perused the new releases shelf and sipped his hot chocolate. It was the Tuesday after the anniversary party, and I’d dragged Finn to Lincoln to discuss the last session of the campaign for my role-play game, which we were due to play this week. I wanted to be enthusiastic about it, but my heart just wasn’t in it.
When we’d started this, I’d had the vague, if somewhat ambitious dream, of it turning into a social media sensation like Critical Role . I’d at least hoped it would boost interest in my game, and I’d see an influx of sales.
Suffice it to say, neither had happened.
We’d had a few regular watchers, and it had been shared around a little, but it was nothing to write home about despite Lewis’s best attempts on the social media side. Our subscribers seemed more interested in watching us play than doing it themselves. It was why we were wrapping up our campaign well ahead of when I’d originally planned—there was no point continuing with something that just wasn’t working. The only problem was, I didn’t know what would work.
“In general.” I sipped the coffee again. “What the fuck am I doing with my life?”
Finn made a soft, distressed noise, and I heard him padding across the floor towards me. “You can do whatever you want. You’re so talented, and you know so much about games. You’re passionate too. I know you’ll find something.”
“Thanks.” I looked up at him, and Finn smiled softly. Something in my chest twitched. I frowned and reached for it, rubbing the sore spot. That was new.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just a muscle spasm. Probably just stress.”
Finn nodded sympathetically, and my chest twitched again. “The last session will be fun. I promise. I’m sure Edward has plenty of tricks up his sleeve, and Lila mentioned something about bringing in some cupcakes. Even if it hasn’t been as successful as you hoped, it’s still been fun.” He paused and then said quietly, “And I got to meet you, so that was nice.”
He looked almost nervous to admit that in public, and that made me grin. “Yeah, you did. And your life changed for the better. I mean who doesn’t need a sarcastic, ageing, single man with no prospects for a friend.”
Finn chuckled. His laughter always surprised me because it was so much lower than his voice. It was the sort of soft chuckle that would be dangerous on another man. “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said. “Please.”
There was something so earnest in the way he said please that I couldn’t ignore it. “Fine. For you.”
“Thank you.” He smiled, and I had the sudden feeling I’d just been manipulated. The weirdest part was, I didn’t mind.
The door to the shop opened, and Jay walked through with Rupert, an adorable if slightly ragged-looking Staffie, who was wearing a thick, knitted jumper over his blue fur. “Afternoon,” Jay said as he leant down to unclip Rupert’s lead. Rupert immediately pottered over to me, rounding the counter and leaning against my leg. I reached down to rub his single ear before he climbed into the padded bed tucked at the other end. Jay sighed as he heard the sound of Rupert’s paws on the cushion. “Honestly, you’d think he hadn’t spent all day asleep already.”
“Such a hard life,” I said with a chuckle. Rupert huffed in agreement. He was one of two rescue Staffies Jay and his fiancé Leo owned, and they each took one to work with them. While Rupert spent his days asleep behind the bookshop counter, occasionally emerging for snacks, his sister Angie went to Leo’s flower shop, Wild Things, just down the hill.
“Very.” Jay wandered over to the counter to dump his bag. “Do we have many orders from the weekend to fill?”
“Yeah, a little over two hundred. I think that discount code you offered for the anniversary helped.”
Jay stared at me. “Two hundred?”
“And three, if you want to be technical. I think we’ve got stock for most of it, but it’s going to take some time.”
“Yeah… I’ll go and make a start,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “By the way, did you see one of the shops farther up is for let? Next to Pimento where that little gift shop was.”
“Oh? They finally put a sign up for it then.” The place had been empty for about three months, and we’d casually wondered whether the owners were going to sell it off, convert it, or put it back up for rent again.
“Yeah, it’s up for commercial, same as here. It looks quite small from the plans I could see online, but I think it’s got an upstairs and a stockroom at the back.”
“You thinking of moving?” I asked and raised an eyebrow. Finn gave me a quizzical look. I had no idea why Jay would be looking at a property that was smaller than the one he had now. It wasn’t like he was struggling to pay rent.
“No,” Jay said. “But I have an idea that would be perfect for it.” He grinned at me, his eyes lighting up behind his glasses. “You should take it and turn it into a games store.”
“What?” I stared at him in disbelief.
“I’m serious! You’d be great at it.” He began to list reasons off on his fingers, fizzing with energy as he spoke. “You love board games, and you have this encyclopaedic knowledge of them. You’re friendly and funny, which means you’re great with customers, but you’re super level-headed, which means you’ll make great business decisions. Plus, you’ve been practically running this place with me, so you know all the ins and outs of ordering, even if you’d be using different suppliers. And I can give you a rundown on running costs, bills, and taxes. I can also give you my business plan too. The one I used when I first started out. It would be enough to get you a start-up loan, and I could totally help you finesse it. I bet Tristan could give you some good advice too.”
I looked between Jay and Finn, unsure what to say. Jay was beaming, and he’d clearly given this some thought, and Finn was giving me another of his gentle, encouraging smiles. Deep down, I knew it might be a reasonable idea. Jay wasn’t wrong when he said I loved games, and I had a fairly good idea of how to run a business given how much he’d involved me in The Lost World over the past couple of years.
But my initial reaction was a stubborn one.
I didn’t want to run a game store. I wanted to be a game designer. It was what I’d always wanted, and just because I hadn’t succeeded yet didn’t mean I had to write off my dream. Being thirty-six didn’t mean I was past it. Then again, hadn’t I just been moaning to Finn about my life? But it was one thing to choose to do something and another to have the idea thrown at you.
My thoughts were becoming more and more tangled by the second, and I didn’t know what to do.
“I’ll think about it,” I said finally. It was the one answer that would buy me time. “It’s not a no, but it’s not a yes either.”
“Fair enough,” Jay said. “It’s a big commitment. I just wanted to throw it out there because I know you’d be great at it!” He looked at me, then checked his watch and pulled a face. “Shall I start packing up orders? We could do with getting some out before the post office closes.”
“I already made a start,” I said. “There’s a list upstairs in the stockroom. You’ll see what I’ve marked off.”
“Amazing! I’d have started already if we hadn’t had this ridiculous fitting appointment to go to.” He sighed. Jay and Leo were getting married in a couple months, and Edward had volunteered to make their suits as a wedding present. Edward had, as predicted, gone over the top.
“Did you talk Edward out of the capes yet?” I asked, happy to have an easy way to change the subject.
Jay rolled his eyes, and Finn chuckled. “Just about. He keeps muttering about how my ideas are boring. The suits look lovely though. I just wish I didn’t have to listen to him bitch about how I won’t let him have any fun.” I snorted. “At least the books won’t tell me I should consider something more interesting than black. I’ve already agreed to the patterned lining. What else does he want?” Jay began to head towards the stairs, calling over his shoulder. “If Edward appears, I’m not here! I’ve moved.”
I watched him go and went back to the remains of my coffee, which was just about drinkable. Finn watched me carefully. He hadn’t said anything since Jay had arrived, but that didn’t surprise me. He’d been listening, though, and I was sure he’d offer an opinion if I wanted one. Which I did. Finn was the most sensible person I knew, and he was good at looking at things from different perspectives.
He was also the one person whose opinion I’d consider listening to.
“So,” I said into the silence that was broken only by Rupert’s snuffled snores. “A game store.”
“A game store,” Finn repeated quietly. “How do you feel about that?”
“Honestly? My first reaction is to say no, but I’m also aware that might be kind of stupid of me.”
“It’s not,” Finn said as he walked over to the counter. “It’s a big undertaking, and it’s not for everyone. Running a small business is hard work.”
“There’s a but there. I can feel it.”
Finn smiled. “But I agree with Jay. I think you’d be very good at it. You are very good with people, and you’re sensible. I know it’s not what you wanted to do with your life, but this would still keep you involved with games and gaming.” He looked at me fondly, and the damn muscle in my chest spasmed again. “And I’d be happy to help. As much as I can anyway. I think Jay was right about deferring to Tristan for financial matters.”
I hummed in agreement. Tristan was Finn’s brother Eli’s boyfriend, and also the best friend of their oldest brother, Richard, which had led to some interesting circumstances, considering Eli and Richard didn’t exactly get along. But Tristan was an independent financial adviser and, from the couple of times I’d met him, seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. If I did consider this ridiculous scheme, he wouldn’t steer me wrong.
The fact that I was already thinking about that should have worried me because clearly I wasn’t rejecting this hare-brained notion outright like I should have.
“You’re wavering,” Finn said teasingly.
“Stop encouraging me,” I said. “I shouldn’t be thinking about this.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” I thought for a second. “Well, for one, it’d be really fucking expensive, and I can barely keep a roof over my head as it is. I’m not sure a bank would consider giving me a loan or any sort of assistance. Two, I’m not sure whether I’m actually interested or just intrigued by the idea because it’s new and sounds better than my life is right now. And three…” I sighed. “I don’t know if there is a three. I mean, I keep saying I want to be a designer, but we both know how that’s turned out. Maybe it would be better if I just put that idea to bed.”
“Why would you have to give it up though? You do it as a side project now. Why couldn’t you do it while running your own business? And that way you’d potentially have a willing pool of test subjects. You could even make it a thing—a sort of designers’ tester evening. Everyone can come along and bring the game they’re developing and test things out on each other, and if anyone else wants to join in and test some games then the more the merrier.”
Finn had a point, and it was a good one. I did both now, so why couldn’t I keep doing both in the future?
“Stop being so reasonable,” I said grumpily, although I was smiling. “You’re making a good point.”
“I know.” He moved a little closer, and I suddenly realised just how gorgeous his face was. Finn was happy to blend into the background, but when I got up close to him, he was more handsome than I realised. Maybe more than even he realised. He had a strong jaw, soft hazel eyes, and lips that had a deep cupid’s bow. They were the sort of lips that looked very easy to kiss. “I’m good at being the voice of reason.”
I swallowed, tearing my eyes away from the swell of his mouth. Finn was my friend, and it wouldn’t do me any good to get caught up in the shape of his lips. “So does that mean I’m going to look at this place, then?”
“I don’t know,” Finn said with a wry smile. “Does it?”