Chapter Four
CHAPTER FOUR
Gem
“You know, when Jay said smaller, I didn’t think it’d be this small,” I said, looking around the room that comprised the front of the shop currently up for rent. It had only been two days since Jay had first suggested I take a look at the place, and I was already standing in it. I still wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad sign. “You could barely swing a cat in here.”
Finn hummed in agreement while the letting agent who’d agreed to show us around launched into a customary spiel about it being cosy, and welcoming, and the perfect size for a start-up, despite the fact that the reduced size didn’t mean the rent was any less than Jay paid for The Lost World. And I knew that because I’d discussed it with him before I’d come to look around.
I ignored the letting agent and wandered through towards the back room, trying to focus my mind on what I could do with the space. If I went ahead. Despite my internal protestations, my brain seemed to have already decided we were doing it. The room at the back wasn’t a bad size. There’d at least be room for some shelves of stock, and there was somewhere I could plug in a kettle.
“Could you give us a minute?” I heard Finn ask the agent. She agreed, and then I heard Finn’s quiet footsteps on the wooden floor. “What do you think?”
“I don’t know,” I said as I turned to look at him. He stood in the doorway, wrapped in his thick winter coat with a woolly hat on his head. It had a little red pompom on the end, and for some reason that made me smile. I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back on track. “The main space is smaller than I’d anticipated, and there’s no step-free access so I’d have to invest in a ramp. And while there’s an upstairs, those stairs are pretty steep.” I pointed to the set of stairs in the corner.
“Have you looked upstairs?”
“No, I was too busy considering all the problems with the downstairs.”
Finn gave a soft chuckle—the low, dangerous one that made something inside my stomach twist. “Let’s at least go and look at it before you dismiss this place outright.”
“There you go being sensible again.”
Finn’s lip quirked, and he gave me a pointed look that made something twist in my chest. Like heartburn but not. “I know. It’s good for you to have someone sensible.” The words hung in the air for a second, and then Finn’s nose tinted like he’d suddenly realised what he’d said. But I wasn’t sure why he was embarrassed. “Come on. Let’s go and have a look.”
He directed me towards the stairs with an outstretched hand, and I found myself going willingly. The upstairs turned out to be a bit bigger because, while the downstairs had been split into two rooms, the second floor had been left as one. It had a bay window at the front that looked out over the street and was currently covered in some moth-eaten lace curtains. The whole place needed a good scrub and a lick of paint, but it wasn’t in terrible shape. The steepness of the stairs worried me, and there wasn’t enough space to run board game or play test evenings. But Jay already ran those at The Lost World… Maybe there was some way we could do it in partnership?
Since he’d suggested this in the first place, I didn’t think he’d object. And The Lost World’s game nights were popular and well attended, so it would make sense to leave them there.
I rubbed my chin and squeezed my cheeks, frowning as I looked around. There was definitely potential here, and my brain was already imagining where I might put things. I was getting ahead of myself, though, because I didn’t even have a business plan let alone money for a deposit, rent, and bills. Even if I did want to start a shop, there was a good chance this place would be gone before I managed to get everything together.
But even just starting to picture everything made me feel… something.
“What do you think?” I asked Finn, wondering if his assessment matched mine.
“I think it’s got potential.” He looked around, his eyes running over the chipped paintwork. “It needs cleaning up and repainting, and you’d obviously need some furnishings, but I don’t think it’s terrible. Yes, downstairs is small, but this space is good, and you’d have space for a variety of games and accessories, and you could also offer to order things for people like you do at The Lost World. I agree the stairs are steep, and you’d need a ramp to make the place accessible, but I think it’s a good location, not terribly priced, and it would be easy to maintain. You could do a lot worse.”
“I agree,” I said. “And I was thinking I could ask Jay about partnering up to run the board game nights since there’s no room for them here.”
“That would be a good idea.” Finn’s eyes settled on me, and it felt like he was peering into my soul. Not that he’d find much there he didn’t already know. “Does this mean you want to do it then?”
“You know, I’m not sure I could say no at this point,” I said with a chuckle. “My brain has already decided for me. I don’t think I really get a say in the decision.” Finn laughed and made a soft, little hiccupping sound at the end. “I’ll think about it for a couple of days, just to be sure.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Maybe make a list of pros and cons. I find that quite helpful sometimes.” Finn smiled at me, and my worries began to fade away. I wasn’t sure what it was about his smile that made me feel calm, but it seemed to possess this magical quality that made me feel better. It was a gift of his.
I looked around the upstairs again, imagining it filled with shelves, each one packed with games. The idea struck a chord deep inside me, reigniting a passion I thought I’d lost. “Yeah, I might well do that.”
I spent the whole of the afternoon lost in my head as I went back and forth on the game shop idea. My brain kept getting stuck on the most ridiculous little details, like what I would call the place, but I thought it was probably to stop myself from getting stuck on the big things like how employment law worked or how I’d pay taxes.
I knew there were a lot of people who’d be willing to help me figure it out if I asked them or paid them, but that meant I had to commit to the idea in the first place. There was a mental roadblock stopping me from crossing that final hurdle and saying yes, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. It might have been fear that this would be another thing I’d inevitably fail at. Normally, spite would have motivated me to do it anyway, but this time, I was being more cautious. Maybe because of the amount of money involved.
This wasn’t something I could just give up if it didn’t work. I’d have to make a real commitment to it.
“Get outta your head,” I muttered to myself as I stared at the laptop in front of me where the cursor blinked on a blank document. I’d been trying to make a list of pros and cons and questions to ask myself, but so far the exercise had just succeeded in driving me further into my head. I needed a break.
Grabbing a pair of earbuds—because my flat’s walls were ridiculously thin—I stretched out on the sofa and opened the browser. I needed to relax, and there was one sure-fire way for me to do that. I stuck my earbuds in, unbuttoned my jeans, and began to click through MyFans to find what I wanted.
I’d discovered audio porn about a year ago when I’d been aimlessly scrolling through PornHub and had immediately gotten hooked on the content produced by one specific user, Fantasy and Filth. He had this amazing voice that sent shivers across my skin every time he spoke, and if I closed my eyes, it felt like he was beside me, whispering delicious things into my ears. It was familiar and alien all at once like an echo of someone I’d heard before. I’d never followed that rabbit to find out who it reminded me of, because it felt like a dangerous path to follow, but it had only taken three videos for me to know I needed more, so I’d quickly signed up for his fan subscription.
He always produced at least six audios a month and often added some fun bonus content like Q&As, sex toy reviews, or the occasional picture or video of him recording—but always from the chest down. I had no idea what his name was or what his face looked like, but the anonymity of it added to the fantasy. This man could be whoever I wanted him to be, and there was something delicious about that.
As I scrolled through his content, I noticed he’d uploaded a new video since I’d last checked. Since the site mostly hosted videos or pictures, the audios just had a black background with a text overlay that explained the scenario and whether it was aimed at men or women, since he produced content for both, although I just tended to pick whichever scenario sounded hottest to me.
I debated between finding one of my favourites or trying the new one, but I figured if the new one didn’t quite work I could always find another. I clicked on the title, Reminding You to Be Good , and read the full description posted below the video, which had some tags in it. It had things like domination, praise, cock sucking, anal play, anal penetration, rough sex, and creampie all listed, and my cock was already getting hard at the thought. I loved the idea of giving up that power to someone, even just for a short while. My own life felt chaotic, so it was nice to get out of my head for a while and just be.
I hit Play, put the laptop on the floor, and slid my hand down towards my dick.
“Hello, baby. Have you been good for me today?” the deep, soft voice asked, making my cock jump. “Did you do everything I asked when I left this morning?” There was a pause, and I imagined him coming home, coming here, and realising I hadn’t done anything I’d planned… anything that he’d asked me to do. I swallowed, wrapping my hand around my thickening cock.
“No?” the man added, a dangerous note in his voice. “What did you do instead? Did you do anything you promised?” I groaned, sinking farther into the sofa and awkwardly trying to push my jeans over my thighs. The audio lasted for sixteen minutes, but I didn’t think I would. The man’s voice dropped low, and my cock dripped precum onto my fingers. “I’m very disappointed in you. And after you made me a promise. Do you need a reminder, baby? Do you need me to teach you how to be good for me?”
“Yes,” I said, twisting my hand over the head of my cock. “Teach me. Make me yours.”
The voice gave a low chuckle, the sort that made my chest tighten and my stomach flip. It was a noise I’d do anything for. “I don’t know, baby. You haven’t even apologised yet.” There was a deep noise and another chuckle. “And now I’ve got my fist in your hair, so you’re not going anywhere. Every move you make, everything you do is for me. So tell me you’re sorry and then”—the voice dropped to a deadly, sweet whisper—“I’ll remind you you’re mine.”
“I’m sorry. I promise. I’ll do the list.” I knew nobody could hear me, but I was already lost in the fantasy. “I’ll make the decision.”
“Thank you,” the voice said with a gentle sincerity that made me moan as the sound of kisses filled my ears. “Thank you for apologising. I forgive you, and I know you’ll be better next time. You know what to say if I get too rough, don’t you? Or if you don’t like something? Good. Remember to use your words for me.” I groaned, unable to stop myself from stroking myself faster as my other hand reached down to roll my balls between my fingers. I knew I needed to let go of my cock or this was all going to be over way too soon. Gasping, I forced my hand away, squeezing the sofa cushion as my cock throbbed and dripped onto my abdomen.
“Now get over here,” the man continued. “And show me just how good you can be. I want you to worship my cock… Oh fuck. Mmm, yes… just like that. God, that mouth.” Wet, sloppy sounds joined his words, and I knew the narrator was working his cock. He let out a deep grunt. “Mmm, fuck, I love your mouth on my big cock. You’ve always known how to suck it… Now, look at me. Good boy, that’s it, look at me as you take my cock into your throat.”
He groaned, and my resistance melted away. I spat into my hand and grabbed my cock, my moans melting into his as I began to jerk myself fast and hard. There was something about his voice that made me come undone so easily. The wet, messy sounds continued as the narrator moaned, then added, “Fuck, that’s it. Deeper, I want it all the way into your throat. I know you can take it. Mmm, take it, baby. Let me pull your hair and push you deeper… because sometimes you need to remember who’s in charge. I want you to enjoy yourself, but… mmm, fuck… I want you to know you’re mine, and you’re here to make me feel good. And I love how it feels when my cock hits the back of your throat. Fuck, just like that… It feels so good when it gets all wet and messy when you gag on it.”
“Fuck, shit… yeah, please,” I said, random words falling out of my mouth. I was so close, and I couldn’t hold on for much longer.
My other hand slid past my balls to tease the furled skin of my hole as the narrator said, “Let me look at you. Fuck, look at how hard you are for me, baby. Your cock is so hard, just like mine. I bet you need it, don’t you? You need me to fuck you?”
With a deep grunt my cock shot across my stomach, hot cum painting my skin as I tipped my head back and panted through each breath, slowly working my cock through the aftershocks of my orgasm. By the time I’d started to come back to myself, the audio had moved on to the fucking part, and as tempted as I was to keep listening, it was too much. I hit Pause, knowing I’d be coming back to listen to it again soon. I really needed to know how it ended.
I sighed to myself, looking at the mess I’d made. First, I needed to clean up, and then I needed to make that fucking list. I’d made a promise after all, even if it was to someone I didn’t know.