Chapter Six
CHAPTER SIX
Gem
I stared down at the mess of papers spread out across the coffee shop table in front of me, frowning as I sipped the large latte with an extra shot I’d ordered when I’d arrived. For this, I was going to need all the caffeine I could get.
“Are you ready?” Finn asked, pouring himself a cup of tea and giving me an encouraging smile. Warmth kindled in my chest.
“I suppose so,” I said. “You know, when I asked for your help on this I didn’t expect you to give up your whole afternoon. Don’t you have projects to work on? Not that I don’t want you here, it’s just…” I fumbled over the words. I didn’t want Finn to think I wasn’t grateful for his help because I really was. I knew he was my best friend, but I hadn’t expected him to volunteer his entire afternoon to help me write this bastard thing. I’d been expecting him to throw me some ideas or look it over when I was done. But that was Finn—generous to a fault—and it made me realise how lucky I was to have him in my life. I’d never meet another man like him.
“It’s fine.” Finn looked at me with something I could only describe as fondness, which made the feeling in my chest burn hotter. “I’ve got a day or two before I start recording, so I figured you might like some help. Besides, this gets me out of the house for once.”
“I can’t believe you’re giving up your chance to play Final Fantasy for two days.”
Finn chuckled. “Me either. It shows how much I care.” He looked pointedly at me and the papers. “Come on then, you can’t put it off forever.”
“I know.” I sighed. When I’d finally decided over the weekend to at least write a business plan and see how I felt afterwards, I hadn’t expected the thing to be such a mountain. It was probably because I’d made the mistake of mentioning it to Jay on Saturday, and he’d promptly pulled out a bundle of old documents and begun to talk me through his. He’d even sent me a copy with comments about things he’d recommend changing or didn’t think would apply to me. It had been helpful if a bit overwhelming. “I didn’t think it would be so complicated. Did you ever have to write one of these?”
I didn’t know much about how Finn’s narration business worked, only that he was really fucking good at it. He had this uncanny knack for being able to turn his voice to anything—whether that was cosy mysteries with disastrous detectives, rich romances with sex scenes that would make most people blush, or high stakes thrillers with clocks ticking down to the end of the world. Finn seemed to be able to do it all, and even though I’d only managed to listen to snippets of his work, he enraptured me every time.
There was something magical about his voice like it could easily lead me to dangerous places and I’d follow without question.
Finn shook his head as he stirred sugar into his tea. “No. The narration business was almost accidental, and while there are certainly things I’d change looking back on it, I never set out with a coordinated plan. Although it might have been a good thing to have. You don’t have to stick rigidly to this if you find that things change—you’re not carving it in stone—but Tristan said if you want to secure financing, you’re going to need a solid business plan to convince lenders you’re serious.”
I hummed. Jay and Leo had both said the same.
“All right then, let’s get this bastard done.” I opened the notebook I’d brought with me and picked up my pen. I’d always liked writing things out on paper first because I felt like I could get a better feel for the idea. It allowed me to explore, follow my thoughts, and see where I went. “Where do we start?”
Over the next three hours, another round of drinks, and some large slices of cake, Finn and I began to draw up the shape of the plan. Some of it was still rough, and there were bullet points and questions all over the place, but it was something. Finn had pulled out his phone to look for other similar businesses in the city. I knew there were a couple of game shops, but they all seemed primarily focused on video games, and although there was a board game café at the other end of town, their focus was on getting people in to play games and buy food and drink, rather than retail.
“You know,” Finn said, picking at the last crumbs of his chocolate orange cake. “If you wanted to do some market research, you could build a quick Google form and ask Jay to share it on The Lost World’s social media. And you could ask people who attend the board game nights to fill it in too. Maybe take your laptop with you so people can do it then and there rather than hoping they’ll remember when they get home. Even just having a hundred responses would be good, and you could include the data in your plan. Plus, if the respondents are people who already attend the board game nights, you’ll know they’re local to the area and thus more likely to be potential customers.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” I sat back in my chair and rubbed my face. My brain was starting to turn into mush, and everything in front of me was a jumble of numbers and letters. I was nearing the end of my rope, and I didn’t think I’d be able to do much more today. Not if I wanted it to be legible afterwards. It needed to stew overnight, and hopefully my subconscious would fix some of the issues by the next time I looked at it.
“You okay?” Finn asked.
“Yeah, just tired. I think my brain has melted.” I dropped my pen onto the table and reached for the last of my coffee, not realising it was stone cold until I’d swallowed half of it. I pulled a face, and Finn laughed.
“Shall we call it a day then? It’s probably for the best since they’re starting to close.” He looked around the shop, and I followed his gaze, realising that the staff were busy wiping down the empty tables. We were the last customers there, despite the fact it wasn’t that late. Outside, the winter sun had set, leaving Lincoln blanketed in darkness.
“What are you doing now?” I asked as I began to gather everything up and slide it inside an old folder I’d brought with me. I didn’t want to spend my whole afternoon working on something only to lose it all.
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go home and play some games? Since I’m here, I might see if Lewis is around…” he shrugged. A sharp tug had pulled at my heart. I didn’t want Finn to go.
“Or you can come back to mine,” I said quickly. “We can make some food and play a game or something?”
“You’re not bored of board games?”
“No.” I grinned. “I don’t think that’s possible. Besides, if we want to be technical, we can count this as research.”
Finn laughed, and his eyes crinkled the way they always did when he was really happy. I suddenly realised Finn could fake a good smile, but if I looked carefully I could tell between the real one and the fake one. And the fact that I’d noticed that made me weirdly… happy? Finn was my friend, so I guessed I should know. But Finn didn’t seem to let many people get close to him. It was like there was an invisible barrier that you only realised was there when you bumped into it and were quietly diverted. But being able to tell the difference between his smiles made me feel like I could see through the barricade.
“Okay,” he said softly. “That sounds fun.” We packed up and began to head out, wrapping up against the cold. “What sort of food do you want?”
I frowned. I didn’t have a lot in. I hated that at thirty-six I still had to live on such a tight budget—it was another thing that made me feel like I’d failed. I racked my brain thinking of something I could make or what I might have in the freezer. “If you don’t mind waiting a little, I could make a sausage casserole.”
Finn’s eyes widened. “That sounds amazing. I haven’t had sausages in ages.”
“You know,” I said, giving him a wry smile as we began to walk towards where Finn had parked his car. “I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere.”
“I’m sure there is.” His lip twitched into a smile, something I hadn’t seen before dancing in his eyes. When I’d first met Finn, I’d thought any sort of dirty joke would be enough to make him turn scarlet. Then I’d met more of his family, and I’d realised he’d probably heard it all, especially since he’d grown up with Eli. “You can make it if you want.”
“Nah, I feel like it would be too obvious now. Kinda ruins the effect.”
“Next time then.”
“Are you saying you’re going to set me up for more dick jokes?” I teased.
“Maybe,” Finn said, his smile growing. “You’ll have to wait and see.”
Two weeks later, on Valentine’s Day of all days, I found myself sitting on my sofa with a cheap ready meal while I trudged through the process of applying for a business loan. I hadn’t actually expected myself to get this far, but the further I ventured into writing the business plan, the more excited I got.
I’d tried to tell myself it was just because it was something new and the shine would inevitably wear off, but it was hard to believe my own arguments when I found myself getting lost in forecasting, budgets, and predictions. Finances weren’t exactly exciting—in fact they were a bastard-coated bastard of bastardness—but if spending hours staring at spreadsheets hadn’t dampened my enthusiasm, nothing would.
The final nail in the coffin had been when I’d found myself awake at three in the morning, scrolling through Pinterest for internal decoration and layout ideas while tossing names and branding around in the back of my head. If it was going to keep me up at night, then I’d better fucking do it, otherwise I was going to spend the next six months wondering why the fuck I hadn’t.
That, and the dismal numbers for December and January on my own games, and the notice from my letting agency that my rent was going up, persuaded me that maybe it was time to look for new options.
Tristan had kindly looked over my finished business plan and double-checked all my numbers, giving them the occasional poke. He’d even given me a list of banks to apply to and another of other potential funding sources, so I had a vague hope that everything would go smoothly. I just had to spend my evening filling in this bastard web form, which seemed to go on for fucking ever.
It wasn’t like I had any other plans. Although maybe I’d treat myself to a long wank with a nice dildo as a reward. I was pretty sure Fantasy and Filth had promised to upload a couple of Valentine’s specials, so maybe I’d use one of those as a treat for all my hard work.
My phone flashed on the table, and Finn’s name popped up. I picked it up and opened the message, chuckling to myself as I read.
Finn
Remind me why I agreed to go to Eli’s show again? I’m the only single person here apart from Jules—except she’s flirting with at least two of the staff.
Gem
I’m sorry. I should have come with you. Or you could have come here. I can offer Tesco spinach and ricotta cannelloni and sadness.
Finn
That sounds better than being surrounded by drunk, horny couples. Is it terrible if I secretly bet with myself over who’ll be the first to leave? Mind you, I can’t believe they’re all here in the first place! I wonder what Eli threatened them with to make them show up?
Gem
Violence? Glitter? Glitter-based violence?
Finn
Probably. Either that or he knows all their secrets and has resorted to blackmail.
Finn
Or he got Tristan to ask them. It’s hard to say no to him. He’s just too charming and polite to turn down. Tristan could ask to murder me, and I’d probably tell him I’d be delighted.
I snorted and shook my head, shoving another forkful of cannelloni into my mouth. One day, I’d have to learn to make this from scratch. I didn’t think it would be too difficult or expensive. I felt bad for Finn though. He’d asked me if I wanted to come with him to The Court’s Valentine’s Day spectacular, but I’d declined because the idea of being surrounded by couples or hearing jokes about being single was enough to make me heave. It sounded like Finn hadn’t had much say in the matter, but then again his brother was performing, and Finn would always be there for Eli if he asked, even if Finn wasn’t keen on it.
That man was so fucking selfless it was unreal.
Sometimes I wished he’d say no or stand up for himself, but deep down I had a suspicion if he really hadn’t wanted to go, he wouldn’t have. I knew he’d declined to go to the Halloween event last year because he and I had already had plans. Maybe this was Finn’s way of making up for that, especially because Eli was going to be spending so much time on tour this spring.
Gem
Is that how they got you to go?
Finn
No. I’d already promised Eli I would. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it when it starts.
Finn
What are your plans? Apart from the cannelloni and sadness.
Gem
Since it’s Valentine’s I have a hot date with my laptop and the Lloyds Bank business loan application.
Finn
Sounds sexy lol.
Gem
Unbelievably so.
Gem
Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get to do something fun afterwards.
I stared at the message, horror dawning, as I realised what I’d just said. It wasn’t technically flirting, and if I was lucky, Finn would just look at it as me making a bad joke. I didn’t know why it bothered me so much because it wasn’t as if I hadn’t made those sorts of jokes before. But there was something squirming in my stomach that made me pause.
Was it because I wanted Finn to brush me off as usual? Or was it because I wanted him to ask me what something fun meant?
Finn
I hope you get a chance to. You deserve a reward.
The squirming in my stomach intensified. I’d never thought about Finn like that before… or maybe I’d never allowed myself to. He’d been so shy when we’d first met that I hadn’t wanted to scare him off, and by the time we’d gotten closer, I’d met Jesse.
But now things suddenly felt complicated. Finn was my best friend, and he did so much for me. I didn’t want to push our friendship into anything that would make him uncomfortable, and Finn never really talked about his own dating life beyond a couple of casual mentions about previous partners. Even so, there was a new, niggling feeling worming its way into my chest, and I couldn’t pin it down long enough to know what it was.
Finn
The show is starting so I’ll speak to you tomorrow =D Have a good evening!
As I read the message, I realised the aching sensation crawling through my heart was the feeling of wanting more. It was whether I’d be willing to risk our friendship to get it.