Chapter Seven
CHAPTER SEVEN
Finn
“Are you ready?” I asked, breaking into a smile despite the icy wind trying to freeze my face in place as I watched Gem fumble with a set of keys.
“I suppose so.” He pursed his lips as he looked at the shabby grey front door of the shop like he was wondering what he’d gotten himself into. Then he put the key into the lock and turned it. The door opened with a squeak, and we stepped into the dusty interior that was lit only by the lingering daylight of the cold, February afternoon. “Fucking hell,” Gem said. “It’s freezing in here. Might as well be in the fucking Arctic.”
He walked across the shop towards the little back room and found a light switch. The overhead lights flickered on, and I began to look around at the space. It was a little dustier than I remembered, which made sense, and a little shabbier, but all in all, it wasn’t a total mess. It just needed a bit of a scrub, some new paint, and a bit of love and attention. All of which could be easily administered.
“Okay,” Gem called. “I think I found the heating.” Something electrical began to whir from above us as Gem reappeared, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Hopefully it’ll get warm in here before we both freeze our nuts off.”
“Where do you want to start?” I asked as I looked around, not sure what we should do first. I’d offered to come and help Gem open the shop because I wanted to be there for him. It was a big step and the start of something new and exciting. I wanted him to know he had my support, even if I didn’t really know what I was doing.
“First things first, I want to take pictures of everything so I’ve got a record of what it looked like when I moved in.” Gem pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I know that’s suspicious of me, but I’ve dealt with landlords before, and if commercial ones are anything like residential ones, they’ll try to screw you over as much as possible.”
That made sense, so I volunteered to take the upstairs and take pictures of anything that might later prove to be an issue, even if we were going to redecorate.
“What colour scheme were you thinking?” I asked when I came back down and found Gem leaning on the fitted counter, which was the only thing that had been left in the space apart from a couple of small, built-in shelves in the back room. He’d put his bag down next to him and pulled out a chunky, ring-bound notebook that seemed to be full of lists.
“I was thinking maybe a nice deep red for the outside,” Gem said. “Or maybe green. There’s quite a few blues on the street already, and although they’re a bit more… toned down—I don’t know how to describe them—I think I want to avoid that. I think it needs to be bold since it’s such a small place, and it’s easy to walk past.”
“That makes sense.” I nodded. “What about inside?”
“I was thinking fairly neutral since I’m going to be putting up a lot of shelves. Plus, I don’t want it to feel smaller than it already is.” He looked around and frowned. “I’ll get some tester pots tomorrow, but I’ll probably go for a pale grey or cream. Something similar to what’s already up. It’s boring, but it should do the trick.”
“That sounds good,” I said. “Just let me know when you’ve got the paint, and I’ll come and give you a hand.”
Gem’s frown deepened. “Are you sure? I don’t want to take up too much of your time. You’re busy enough as it is.”
“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have volunteered if I couldn’t do it.” Gem’s expression suggested he didn’t believe me. He was probably right not to because, busy or not, I’d be here either way. But it surprised me that he’d twigged that if I cared about someone I’d be there for them, even at my own inconvenience. I thought I was better at hiding it than that.
Gem overlooked my white lie and continued. “If you’re sure, but it’s not going to be at reasonable times. I’m still working at The Lost World for another month since I need the income.”
“Did Jay mind you putting in your notice?”
Gem shook his head and grinned. “No, he actually hugged me and told me it was about fucking time. Also, I think he was pleased I’d listened to him and taken him up on his suggestion. I think that made him forget he’s going to be without staff in a month.”
“Hopefully that doesn’t lessen his victory,” I said.
“Nah, I’m sure he’ll find someone else pretty quickly. And if he gets his act together, he can have them start before I finish, and I can walk them through everything.”
“That would be good. Are you planning on hiring anyone?” I wasn’t sure if Gem’s plans included staffing. It was something we’d talked about, but Gem had initially maintained he didn’t think he’d need anyone for the first year or so. Otherwise, he’d said, he’d just be adding to the cost, and there was no guarantee he’d make enough money to cover their salary as well as the business’s running costs. I didn’t know whether he’d changed his mind since.
“No,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Not yet. I think they ended up in year three of the plan? Maybe year two?” He shrugged then fixed me with a pointed look. “By the way, I noticed you never answered my question about whether you’re sure you wanted to help out.”
“Oh, er, yes, I’m sure.” I felt my face prickle, embarrassed at having been caught out. I wasn’t used to people noticing when I’d casually steered the conversation away from questions about me. It made my throat tighten, and all at once I suddenly felt overcome.
I’d had a crush on Gem for months, and I continually tried to suppress it by endlessly telling myself Gem wasn’t interested, and even if he was, I’d never act on it because I’d be too afraid of what might happen. I liked living in fantasy worlds where I had more control over what happened… or where I could at least pretend I wasn’t so much of a coward.
Besides, Gem might be a nerd, but I was a nerd’s nerd . That combined with my shyness and anxiety didn’t make me optimal boyfriend material for most people.
I’d had a couple of relationships, and my longest running one had continued through university and a couple of years out the other side. But that had fizzled out when he’d moved to the US to work for a big animation studio and I hadn’t wanted to go with him. It had been amicable in the end, even if it had broken both our hearts. We kept in touch, though—the odd message here or there, liking each other’s pictures on Instagram, random comments, but it wasn’t anything more than superficial.
Recently, I’d had nothing. And that hadn’t bothered me until a couple of months ago when my siblings started pairing off. I was suddenly struck by the realisation that I might end up alone, and that I was too nervous to do anything about it. Dating apps terrified me, and I didn’t get out enough to meet people. Eli kept offering to introduce me to people he knew, but I doubted he could find me love because I’d never been truly honest with him about who I was. It would be difficult for him to introduce me to someone without knowing my secrets.
But it was just as hard to introduce myself to potential partners. What was I supposed to say? Hi, I’m Finn. I’m twenty-eight, incredibly nerdy, horribly shy and anxious, but if we ever get close to the bedroom, I really want to take control of you, tie you up, edge you, spoil you, and give you so many orgasms that you melt into a pile of goo? Yes, that would go over incredibly well. I could picture it now.
“Finn?” Gem asked, snapping me out of my mental wanderings. “You okay? You disappeared on me there.”
“Sorry. I was just, er, thinking.” I swallowed and tried to smile. “Don’t worry about the odd hours. That actually works quite well for me because I can record while you’re at work and then help you here afterwards. It can be my hobby for a while. My mother is always telling me I need to take a break from screens. She’ll be delighted.”
And I can spend more time with you.
It was something I suddenly wanted to voice but couldn’t bring myself to.
Gem was the only man I’d ever met who seemed to understand me. It was like he had a key to the labyrinth guarding my heart without me giving him one, and he seemed determined to find the castle, whether he realised it or not.
“Don’t worry. I can find plenty for you to do,” Gem teased.
“At least it will be warmer in here than the garden. Mimbles is always trying to get one of us interested in gardening with her, but it’s just not for me. I like the results, but I’m not a fan of the cold and the mud in the winter or the sunburnt neck in the summer.”
Gem laughed. “I mean, I can’t guarantee warm, but I can guarantee there won’t be mud. If there is, then we’ll have done something horribly wrong.”
My laughter joined his, and I couldn’t stop myself from hiccupping. It was something I hated but always did when I laughed properly. Gem stared at me, and I felt my face flush. “Sorry, I know the hiccup thing is weird.”
“No,” he said slowly. “It’s not that. I…” He shook his head, dismissing whatever he was going to say. “How’re your DIY skills?”
“Er, not horrible. Why?”
“We’ll have to build a lot of furniture, and I don’t want you drilling through your own hand.”
I winced. “Have you—”
“Known someone that’s done that? Yeah, I have. And it wasn’t pretty. He didn’t have the most common sense, though, so he probably shouldn’t have been handling a drill in the first place.”
I didn’t want to think about that any further. It sounded horrible, and I’d never been good with gore or horror. I couldn’t even watch medical or veterinary shows that showed surgical procedures. They always made me feel sick.
“Sorry,” Gem said. “I probably shouldn’t have said that. You look a little pale.”
“It’s fine, I’m just not good with medical stuff. I’m kind of a wimp.”
Gem frowned. “It’s not wimpy at all. It’s a perfectly valid feeling! Don’t you go putting yourself down in front of me again.” He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Or I’ll have to cut off your cake supply.”
“How rude,” I said, imitating Eli’s dramatic gasp. “And after everything I’ve volunteered to do for you but haven’t actually done.”
“I know. I’m a rotten bastard.” I wanted to tell him he wasn’t, but the glint in his eye told me he was joking, and if I suddenly turned the conversation serious, I was afraid things would get awkward. There was a moment of silence between us, and my chest squeezed.
“So… what are your plans, then?” I asked, pointing at Gem’s notepad. “Did you find a name you liked yet?” It was my customary tactic whenever I felt awkward—distract, distract, distract. But Gem seemed to be wising up to that, and I was afraid he wouldn’t take the bait.
“No,” he said finally. “Not yet.” He looked at me with a gentle smile curling his lips. “You fancy getting some Chinese and talking it out? Maybe help me measure the place up? Work out where to put things?”
“I’d love that.”
And that was how we found ourselves sitting on a cold, wooden floor eating Chinese food out of plastic tubs and throwing around progressively worse business names. It felt like the most perfect date neither of us knew we were on.