Chapter Eight
CHAPTER EIGHT
Gem
As I scrubbed a suspicious-looking stain on the upstairs wall for the third time in two days, I was starting to wonder whether it might just be easier to paint over the bastard. Or put some furniture in front of it. I didn’t think people would be looking too closely at the walls, although just because I never did when I was browsing somewhere, didn’t mean other people wouldn’t.
I’d never been as obsessed with cleaning as I had been the past two days, and if she could see me, I was sure my mum would pitch a fit given all the nagging she’d had to do when I was a teenager to get me to even make my bed or open a window.
My muscles were burning from slogging bags of cleaning products to and from my car and from lugging lukewarm buckets of water around as I attempted to scrub the living daylights out of the place. I’d already spent a fortune in B&Q on sugar scrub for the walls, tester pots, and painting supplies, and I really wanted to get to that stage as soon as possible.
Since I didn’t have the biggest budget in the world, I’d decided I’d be doing as much as possible myself, and so far, it seemed like the only things I’d need professional help with were hanging the sign outside the door—since there wasn’t room for any branding on the window—and a website. I’d gone with Castle Games for the shop name, which had been the only surviving option from the list Finn and I had made. It was simple, but it would do, and I could use the rough outline of Lincoln Castle on my branding.
“You know what,” I said to the spot on the wall, which had refused to budge. “You can bloody well stay there for all I care.” I dropped the sponge into the bucket next to me and climbed to my feet, wincing as my muscles reminded me they weren’t used to this much exertion.
I stomped down the stairs, bucket in hand, and headed for the back room to dump it into the tiny sink. The place was definitely looking better. My next task was to paint some tester squares on the wall and then start sanding down the front door and the windows so I could paint over them. Because the shop was old, the windows had wooden frames and grilles, and each individual piece of wood was going to need sanding and painting if I wanted it to be a different colour than farmhouse grey.
At least it wasn’t raining, but I was pretty sure my fingers were going to freeze off if I spent a lot of time outside. The wind seemed to have come straight from the frozen depths of hell, and it had the ability to get inside all the layers I put on. I might have been Scottish and grown up with the cold, but that wind was pure evil. But if I wanted to have the shop open for Easter at the start of April, then I needed to get a crack on.
It didn’t take me long to get the testers up on the wall, and I remembered to make a note of the name, in pencil, under each one because otherwise I’d be fucked in a day or two when I needed to pick one and couldn’t remember which was which. Then I pulled on my gloves, coat, and hat, grabbed some sandpaper, stuffed my phone and earbuds into my pocket, and headed for the front door. When I got there, I was surprised to find Edward lurking on the street like a malevolent vampire.
“Hey,” I said. “You okay?”
“Of course.” He smiled brightly, which was always dangerous. “I’ve come to help.”
“You? Help?” I asked, unable to stop myself from teasing him. Edward was a world-famous cosplayer, and I loved his stuff, but I’d always teased him about it because all he ever seemed to do was complain about either being bored or not wanting to work. Then again, I only saw him when he came to The Lost World, and that was his favourite tool for procrastination.
“I am very helpful!”
“What are you avoiding today?”
Edward laughed. “Making adjustments to the lining of Leo’s wedding suit. It’s very tedious, and I’m bored, but Jay said if I don’t want to do my own work, I should come and help you with yours.”
“You were being annoying, then?” I asked with a wry smile. “Was it about the capes?”
“Perhaps.” He winked. “I don’t know why Jacob doesn’t want a cape. He’d look very dashing in one. So would Leo. I even offered to do them with fur trim so they’d look more regal, but that idea got shot down in flames before I’d even finished describing it.” He sighed dramatically. “Honestly, it’s very difficult having a best friend with such boring taste.”
I knew better than to get embroiled in this discussion, so I pulled out a large piece of sandpaper so I could start working on the door. “I guess you’ll just have to make a cape for yourself.”
“You know, that’s a rather marvellous idea! I’ve always wanted a cape,” Edward said. “What are you doing today?”
“I’ve been cleaning,” I said, pulling the door towards me and holding it in place with my foot so I could start on the edge closest to me. “And now I get the great joy of sanding the door, the window frame, and the grilles so I can paint them.” I wasn’t sure whether Edward would actually help or not, even if Jay had sent him to. My guess was that Jay thought Edward would take one look at the cleaning and DIY, decide his own work was much better, and go home without being a nuisance to anyone.
I watched Edward cast an eye over the size of the window, a little wrinkle appearing across his nose. Then he held out a gloved hand. “That’s going to take you all night by yourself. Give me a spare piece, and I’ll start on the window.” He must have seen the surprise on my face because his smile widened. “I happen to be rather good at DIY. It comes with the territory, although my fibreglass skills aren’t as good as Izzy’s. Not that I’d admit it. Still, you should ask Jay who built all the bookcases in The Lost World, and if he tells you it was him, please know that he’s lying through his teeth.”
I laughed and ducked back inside to retrieve another piece of sandpaper. When I got back to the front of the shop, I saw that Edward had deposited his bag, walking stick, and hat inside the door, pulled his long, pale hair up into a neat bun, and was examining the window frame.
“Thank you,” he said as I handed him the sandpaper. “I’ll start with the grilles since they’re liable to be fiddly as fuck and rather tedious.”
“Less tedious than the suit?”
“Probably moreso, but this is new and therefore interesting. Plus, I have you to talk to, and that will keep me amused.” The way he said it made a suspicious red light flash in my brain like I was about to be interrogated.
“Will it now?” I asked, returning to the door.
“Don’t worry. I won’t ask anything terribly challenging.” I heard the smile in his voice over the scuff of sandpaper on wood. I chuckled and wondered if there was something I could say to divert Edward’s attention before he even got started. “Jay said you’re still going to be working at The Lost World while you’re setting up here?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m only there part-time, and I could do with the extra cash. Plus, it’s not far to come up here afterwards.”
“That makes sense. I’ve told Jay he needs to start looking for your replacement, but so far, he seems unenthusiastic about the prospect. I know he’s very proud of you, especially because he thinks this was all his idea, but I think he’s reluctant to let you go because you’re so good at your job.”
I smiled, Edward’s words warming my heart. He was saying things I already knew, but it was nice to hear it from someone else. Especially someone who knew Jay so well. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep prompting him too. I’m sure there are loads of people who’d want the job.”
“I told him he should hire Link. You know, that very sweet boy you foisted off on me at the party,” Edward said. I glanced over at him, but he was focused on one of the corners. “He was rather like a puppy, and I think he’d be very trainable.”
“He’s not actually a dog though.”
“I know, but it fits. I told him he should dump that ridiculous ex of yours, and I believe he did.”
“That’s because he’s got a crush on you,” I said. “Or you’ve put him under a spell.”
“Sadly, there are no spells here, but the crush idea is adorable. The poor boy will be heartbroken when he finds out about Izzy.” Edward sighed. “Although it is nice to know I still attract attention.”
“I don’t think you’ll ever not attract attention.”
“You flatter me, darling,” Edward said. “What about you though? Any new man on the horizon?”
“Er, no.” I shook my head, focusing on the door. This wasn’t a subject I wanted to discuss because everything inside me felt strangely jumbled. I wasn’t sure if it was just because I was sex deprived or if it was something else, but every time I’d seen Finn recently, a weird ache had pulled at my chest. At first, I’d thought it was heartburn, but since it hadn’t gone away, I was getting the feeling it was tied to Finn.
It didn’t help that I now had this ridiculous idea in my head that Finn was somehow the man I spent all my time jerking off to, despite having no evidence to that effect except some hiccupping laughter and the fact that Finn had a naturally gorgeous voice. They were dubious connections at best but ones my brain seemed desperate to make. I wasn’t even sure where they were coming from. Finn was my friend, and nothing was going to happen between us.
Edward hummed suspiciously. “You don’t sound sure.”
“I am,” I said. “I’m single.”
“But you don’t want to be.” Edward said it as a statement, not a question.
“That’s not really my choice.”
“Why not?”
Fuck, I’d boxed myself in now. I either had to lie and hope I sounded convincing or tell Edward enough to get him to stop bugging me.
“You don’t have to tell me, you know,” Edward said. “I realise I’m being very nosy. But if you did want someone to talk to, I volunteer my services. I am an excellent listener, and I promise not to tell. I’m rather good at keeping secrets. Izzy and I hate-fucked in secret for years before I told anyone except Lewis, and he only knew because he caught us.”
I moved the sandpaper to another patch of wood, contemplating Edward’s words. “I just… I don’t know how I really feel about someone, and I don’t know if they feel the same.” I sighed. “I know I should just talk to them, but…”
“I take it this is someone you already know? Potentially very well?”
“Yeah.” I wondered if I’d already given too much away. I didn’t want to drop Finn in it without his permission.
“That does make it more difficult,” Edward said, and I was surprised by the note of understanding in his voice. “It’s always hard when you develop feelings, whatever those may be, for someone you know because rejection comes with the possibility of so much more pain. If it’s someone you’ve only just met, it’s different. It can hurt, but it’s easier to shrug off. I don’t blame you for being cautious.”
“Thanks.”
“But I will say that caution will only do you so much good. There comes a point where you have to make a decision and choose whether to risk your emotions or walk away. I know people will say you can just try to put your feelings to one side, but I believe eventually you reach a point where that becomes impossible. You risk making yourself miserable because you refuse to move forward. Does that make sense?”
“It does.” Edward had hit the nail on the head, and the revelation was almost painful. Whatever I felt for Finn, my brain had been trying to suppress it out of fear. I cared about Finn, and he’d been there for me more times than I could count over the past nine months. I didn’t want to ruin that because I was starting to feel something, especially because I didn’t know if the feelings were genuine or just because I wanted to get laid. I felt horrible even admitting that to myself.
“I guess,” Edward continued, “you just have to decide whether you’ve reached that point. And whether the risk is worth it.”