Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Gem
Sitting on the battered old sofa in my living room, I scrolled through the digital catalogue for the distributor I was thinking of using and tried to focus on the task at hand. Now that the painting was complete and the opening date I’d chosen was looming in the distance, I really needed to figure out what the fuck I was going to stock. The business plan I’d written with Finn and Tristan had some broad parameters and example titles, but there was a big difference between that and what I wanted my finished product list to look like.
Some of it was going to depend on availability, and some would depend on my budget, but the rest was down to me and what I thought would sell well. And while I was tempted to pick the things I liked playing, along with a random selection of other stuff, I knew I had to approach this with more logic than that.
Jay, Edward, and I had already mined The Lost World’s games night attendees for all the information we could, and that had given me a rough list to build on. After that, I’d spent several hours talking to my friend Lila over cocktails. She’d been part of my RPG campaign and was a good friend, although we didn’t get to spend as much time together as we wanted because she was busy with her multiple jobs. She’d started by telling me this whole thing had been a long time coming, then given me some fabulous business advice, a long list of games she thought I should stock, and promised to be first through the door on opening day. All in all, it had been a fun evening.
After that, I’d spent endless hours trawling various board game subreddits and game-related websites to cross-reference and build on my initial list, which was tedious as fuck.
If I hadn’t already been committed to this endeavour, spending hours taking a deep dive through the internet would have made me back out simply because there were so many people out there who seemed to spend their lives bitching about trivial shit like the fact that some art had changed or that there was some new lore for their favourite RPG that meant they couldn’t be a sexist bastard anymore. The worst were the occasional neckbearded assholes kicking up a shit fit about the inclusion of women, people of colour, and LGBTQ people in their favourite games or local community.
They could all get fucked as far as I cared, and I made a mental note to get an enormous progress pride flag, like Jay had at The Lost World, and hang it up where everyone could see it. I wasn’t having any fucking trolls in my shop. The idea of the customer being right didn’t give them the right to be an asshole.
Since the catalogue looked good, I flicked to another page of the distributor’s website—the one that talked about how to get registered as a retailer with them. I frowned at the screen and groaned. What the fuck did minimum conditions for trade mean? I had a brick- and-mortar store, and technically I’d have a webstore too when it was finished. Was that all they meant? I pulled up the account application form and made another noise, tempted to close the whole thing. But if I wanted to stock product, I needed to stop dithering and fill in the fucking form.
Part of me wondered why on earth I’d ever thought this was a good idea and why the fuck I’d listened to Jay and Finn when they’d encouraged me. Then I remembered Finn’s smile and the way he’d said he was proud of me when we were writing the business plan, and my nerves eased. Damn you, fucking praise kink.
It was more than that though.
It was having people believe in me for once when I’d pretty much given up on myself. Finn’s encouragement was the thing keeping me going when I felt like giving up. The small voice in my ear that whispered this was another thing I was going to fail at was still there, but it was getting smaller. I just hoped I could keep it at bay.
But at least when it got bad, I could get Finn to take my mind off it.
My cock throbbed at that idea, remembering the feel of his hand on mine as we’d jerked off in the shower a couple of days ago and the way he’d later let me sink to my knees and blow him while he sat on the sofa, his fingers tangling in my hair while filthy praise and soft moans filled my ears. His dick had felt so good in my mouth, and I knew I was going to need it again.
I still wasn’t looking too closely at whatever this was with Finn because that would mean adding a whole new set of problems to my mental load. We’d decided this was just sex, but I wasn’t convinced either of us believed that. I wanted to pretend we were just fucking. It was easier than working out what the fuck the new, complicated feelings I was starting to have for my best friend were. Easier to say this was just friendship and fucking than doing the hard, emotional work.
Once again, I was being a coward. But if it meant I got laid and neither of us got hurt, I’d take it. The problem would be when things started to get messy.
I ignored that train of thought and reached down to palm my dick through my jeans, groaning as the pressure made my cock stiffen. I looked at my laptop and the account form, then clicked to another tab. A short break wouldn’t hurt, and I really needed to get off or I was never going to be able to concentrate.
Opening MyFans, I scrolled through Fantasy and Filth’s account until I found one of my old favourites I knew would make me come quickly. I wasn’t going for a leisurely jerk-off session here. I just needed something quick to take the edge off. I didn’t have any headphones, so I kept the volume low because the last thing I needed was for old Mrs. McKinley next door to hear what I was listening to. I slid the laptop onto the cushion next to me and unbuttoned my jeans to pull out my cock as the rich voice of the narrator purred from the speaker.
“Oh, hello, baby. What are you doing? Did you want something?” There was a soft chuckle. “No, I’m supposed to be working. You know that. I promised you we could play later when I’m done.” There was a little pause and another laugh. “Oh, I see. You want attention. Are you really so desperate for me that you can’t wait? Is that right, baby? Are you a desperate, needy, slutty boy who needs to be played with?”
“Yes. Fuck yes.” I groaned, spitting on my palm and reaching for my dick, pumping myself slowly as I listened. I’d never be the sort of person to demand attention, but the fantasy was sexy, and I loved the way the narrator spoke with a calm control that demanded respect. It made my cock ache in desperation.
“Come here, then,” the narrator said. Then he tutted and let out a low, chastising sound. “No, baby, on your knees. Crawl to me. Beg for it. Tell me how much you want my cock, and if you’re a very good boy, I’ll give it to you.” He groaned. “That’s it. Fuck, you look so pretty on your knees for me. That’s it, look up at me, don’t look away. Aww, baby, you’re so hard already for me. Are you that desperate?”
“Oh God. I fucking need it,” I said as I reached my other hand down to shove my jeans out of the way so I could spread my legs. I rolled my balls between my fingers as the sound of the narrator slapping his cock against his hand slid into my ears.
“Open wide for me. That’s it. No”—the man growled and a shiver of delight shot down my spine—“I didn’t tell you to suck it, did I? I told you to open your mouth, but you wanted more because you’re such a needy, desperate slut for me. And now I’ve got my hand in your hair, and I’m holding you here while you look up at me from your knees. Do you think you can be good for me? Yes?”
“Yes. I’ll be good.”
“Good. Now open your mouth. Wider, that’s it. Good boy.” I moaned at the sounds of slapping. “Do you like it when I slap my cock against your cheeks… your lips… your tongue. I know you want it, and I love seeing you look at me like this—when you know your place and know that you’re mine. You’ll take what I give you because you’re so good for me. But I know you’ll tell me if you want something different or if you don’t like it because you’re a good slut who tells me what he wants. Aren’t you?”
All I could do was groan. Tightening my grip on my cock, I began to jerk myself faster before sliding my other hand between my legs to tease my hole. I really wished I had a fucking dildo in here or even some lube because I needed something inside me. I could get a finger in with spit, but it wasn’t going to be enough.
I’d said this was just going to be a quick break, but now I wanted to drag it out. The two plans warred inside my head, but the desperate need to be filled won out. Hitting Pause on the audio, I kicked my jeans off, grabbed my laptop, and made a frantic dash to the bedroom. Throwing the laptop on my bed, I grabbed some lube and my favourite dildo and climbed onto the mattress.
When the audio started again, the sounds pouring out of my speakers made me moan with need.
“Suck it. That’s it. Mmm, fuck, get it all the way down your throat. Show me how much you want it,” the narrator said, his voice heavy with desire. His words were punctuated by low, possessive growls and deep groans of pleasure that made my whole body come alive. I wondered if Finn would ever make noises like that… If he did, I’d probably die.
I lubed up the dildo as the narrator talked about how it felt to have his cock sucked and how perfect I was on my knees for him. It oddly reminded me of the way Finn had spoken to me the other day, but I brushed the thought away.
“That’s enough. Fuck, I said that’s enough.” His voice was rough, and he sounded as desperate as I felt. I groaned as I pumped my cock again, my slick fingers starting to work my ass open enough for my toy. “Get up here and give me a kiss. God, you look so fucking perfect like that. Mmm, do you need more? Does my little slut want more? Was having my cock in your mouth not enough?”
“No… I want… Fuck, I want you to fuck me,” I said, suddenly wishing Finn was there so I could feel his cock inside me. He hadn’t fucked me yet, only teased, and the longer he drew it out, the more I wanted it. I pulled my fingers out of my ass and grabbed the dildo, pressing it to my slick, stretched hole as the narrator groaned, murmuring praise as he grabbed lube and began to finger his partner open. I was so desperate for more, but I loved moving at the same speed as the audio because it allowed me to sink deeper and deeper into the scenario. Holding the dildo there, I waited, releasing my grip on my cock so I didn’t shoot my load before I was ready. This quick jerk off to relax had turned into a full-on session, but I didn’t care because it was everything I needed.
The narrator groaned, and I shuddered with pleasure. “That’s it. You’re being so good for me. Now, I’m going to put the tip of my cock right against your hole… Fuck, just like that. And then… Mmm…” With a moan, I pushed the dildo slowly into my hole, relishing the burn since I hadn’t quite opened myself up enough. “Fuck, mmm. Fuck, baby, move your hips slowly for me. I want you to take it all.” He growled, and I moaned, pressing it all the way in until I felt the silicone balls bumping against my ass.
“Fuck,” I said, closing my eyes and listening to the other man’s moans and soft words, unable to stop myself from imagining Finn above me, his cock deep inside me as he whispered filth in my ear. My dick pulsed, and I wrapped my hand tightly around the shaft, jerking myself as slowly as I could manage while starting to fuck myself with the dildo.
“Fuck, baby, you look so good on my dick. Such a good boy for me.” The narrator moaned again. “I can’t wait… mmm, to, fuck… fill you with my cum. Because I love filling you with my load. I want you to jerk your cock for me… Fuck, I want you to come for me… because when you do, your ass feels so good around my cock, and it always, shit, always gets me there too. And it’s your job to make me feel good, baby. You wanted to distract me, so now you have to make me feel good. But I know you will, fuck, because you’re such a good boy for me.”
I groaned as red-hot pleasure burned down my spine, making my balls tighten. I thrust the dildo in and out of my ass as hard and fast as I could, angling it so I could hit that sweet spot inside me over and over again. My fingers tightened around my cock, and I knew I wasn’t going to make it to the end. I was going to come, and there was nothing I could do to stop it—or at least, nothing I wanted to do.
“Fuck, baby, that’s it… Make yourself come for me,” the narrator purred. “Jerk yourself hard. I know you want to please me…”
The rest of his words were lost in my shout as I came hard, cum splattering my fist and the old jumper I was wearing as my ass tightened around the dildo, milking every drop of pleasure out of it.
I lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes and a heaving chest as the audio continued to play. Hazily, I reached over to hit the Pause button on the recording, which still had another four or five minutes to play. Next time, I’d make it to the end… but only because the narrator sounded so amazing when he came.
I let out a long, shuddering breath as the last vestiges of pleasure drained away, leaving me with nothing but a deep, satisfied feeling and a wave of tiredness. Pulling out the dildo, I dropped it on the bed beside me and frowned. There was something niggling at the back of my mind, though I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.
Dragging myself off the bed, I headed for the bathroom to wash my hand and the dildo and dump my cum-stained clothes into the washing basket. I gazed into the mirror above the sink, thinking about the conversation Finn and I had had there. It had been a weird as fuck place to have a discussion about boundaries, but I was glad we’d had it. It had been kind of hot listening to Finn ask what I wanted and watching his face as I’d told him. He’d tried to keep his expression neutral, but it had been hard to miss the way his lips had twitched or the heat burning in his eyes.
I needed the next time to happen soon because I really wanted to get to someone’s bedroom and move from shower handjobs into something more intense.
The niggling thought made itself known again. Except this time, it had more of a shape.
There was something about the way the narrator said things like just like that and be good that had a familiar weight to them. Like I’d heard them recently but in a different situation. I frowned and headed back to my room to find some clean clothes. As I pulled on a hoodie, my brain slowly replayed the shower with Finn and the later blow job, mentally attempting to lay the vocals out alongside the narrator.
Maybe they were similar, but that didn’t mean anything. There were only so many ways you could say dirty things, and if my cock was involved, I was pretty sure my brain wasn’t really paying attention anyway.
Picking up my laptop, I walked back to the sofa so I could get back to the supplier account form. The time for distractions was over. I needed to get this done if I ever wanted to get any bloody stock. But then I realised the narrator had uploaded a new video—a Q&A—and all my other thoughts went out the window.
I hit the button for the video, figuring it would at least give my heart rate a little longer to return to normal, even if my brain was trying to find a connection that wasn’t there.
“Hello, everyone,” said the voice, sounding far more relaxed this time around. “Thanks for joining me for this month’s Q&A. We haven’t done one of these in a while, so thank you for submitting your questions. I’m sorry if I don’t get a chance to answer all of them.” There was something warm and familiar about his speaking voice outside of the audio porn, and I swallowed. “First question: are you really British, or do you just know how to do a good British accent?”
He chuckled softly, and I frowned, my brain starting to whirr.
“Yes, I am British. This is my actual accent and my actual voice. I hope that doesn’t disappoint you. Next question: how did you get into producing erotic audio? Love your work so much.” He paused for a second, and when he spoke again, I swore I could hear him smiling. “Thank you, that means a lot. I started producing this for fun after some encouragement from a friend. I made the mistake of showing them some other work I’d found on the internet one night, and they said I should give it a try. They’re not the sort of person to take no for an answer, so here I am.” He laughed again. “But I’m glad they encouraged me because this job gives me so much creative freedom, and I love recording all these fantasies for you. And knowing that there are a lot of people getting off to my work is quite powerful, so there’s that.”
I snorted. Yeah, I bet it was. Especially if you were the sort of man who liked being in control.
“Are you single?” was the next question, and I found myself holding my breath for reasons I couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t as if I was going to suddenly meet the man—the UK wasn’t that small, and the universe wasn’t that kind. Besides, liking a guy for the way he could get me off didn’t mean I’d like his personality. He could be a wanker in reality. But a little voice in my head whispered if it was Finn then maybe …
I shook the thought away because this was starting to approach the realm of far-reaching conjecture. “Yes, I am,” said the man. “I’d like to date, but it’s hard to find someone because I’m so busy. There’s someone I’m interested in, but I’m not sure they feel the same. But that’s probably far too much information, so yes, I’m single.”
Something tugged in my chest, but I didn’t have time to think about it because the narrator was speaking again.
“What do you do for fun? Apart from making super sexy audios that make me ridiculously hard.” He let out a soft breath. “That’s always good to hear. I hope you’re always a good boy. But for fun, well, I’m quite boring to be honest. I play a lot of board games and role-playing games—the Dungeons and Dragons kind, not the sexy kind—and I’ve just finished helping a friend test a game.” My frown deepened, the numbers in my head starting to add up, a very clear picture starting to emerge. But I still wasn’t sure if I was just imagining things and jumping to conclusions or whether my assumptions were correct. “Apart from that, I play a lot of video games. I’m replaying a lot of the Final Fantasy games at the moment because I have a lot of different old consoles, and I’m a nerd. Like a super nerd.” He laughed again, and this time there was a soft little hiccupping sound at the end.
The pieces snapped into place, and I shot up off the sofa like I’d been struck by lightning.