Chapter Fifteen
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Gem
Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck all of this bloody bollocks. This was a wank idea from the start, and I never should have listened to Jay.
I stared at the mess of boxes, shelving parts and random shit littering the stockroom. The mess had even started to seep out into the main bulk of the shop, and it was starting to look like a never-ending sea of chaos. The fact that it was ten at night on a Friday wasn’t improving my mood. I’d been at work all day and spent all evening here, and now I was exhausted.
“Where the fuck does it all come from?” I muttered darkly to myself as I grabbed the remains of a cardboard box and viciously ripped it apart so I could fold it down and shove it in the growing pile of recycling. Since the shop’s bin was full, I was having to stick everything in my car and take it to the tip, which meant spending more of my precious free time doing random shit and less doing something productive. I’d hardly had any downtime since I’d started this fucking venture, and it was starting to catch up with me.
I needed food, sleep, and a good fuck or wank—I wasn’t picky—and not necessarily in that order.
I also needed to tidy this shit up and finish getting the furniture built and in place so I could start getting stock in and arranging it. I had no idea whether any of the big box games, like Gloomhaven or Descent: Legends of the Dark would even fit on the shelves I’d gotten. I didn’t think the depth would be a problem; it was more likely going to be the height of the shelves and the weight of the fucking things. I’d probably just have to have one out on display and a couple in the back in case they got sold. Not that there was a lot of room in the stockroom for excess.
Grabbing another box off the floor, I checked there was nothing important inside it before ripping it up and squashing it. It was oddly cathartic.
There was a knock at the front door, and I turned, trying to work out who the fuck would be here this late. I walked out of the stockroom, still carrying the remains of a box and saw, through the glass, Finn standing outside in the glow of the streetlamps. My heart soared, the clouds of my mood rolling back like the sun breaking through after a storm.
“Hey,” I said as I pulled open the door. “I didn’t think you were coming tonight.”
Finn shrugged and stepped inside, holding up a plastic bag. The delicious scent of Chinese takeaway wafted out of it, making my stomach rumble and my mouth water. “I know, but you said you were coming here straight after work, and from your messages, it didn’t sound like it was going well, so I figured I could at least bring you dinner.”
I closed the door behind him, trying to work out what to say. Usually, I wasn’t lost for words, but I was now. Who knew it would take a man just showing me basic kindness to sweep me off my feet? Or a man reading between the lines and realising I felt like shit. God, was this what my sister had been banging on about for years—about my bar for relationships being on the floor and men still tripping over it?
“Is this okay?” Finn asked, and I realised I hadn’t said anything. I’d just been staring at him, still holding chunks of cardboard.
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s fucking amazing. Thanks.”
Finn smiled, and my chest felt like it might explode. What was it about Finn’s smile that could change everything? I’d never met anyone who made me feel so relieved and cared for with one simple expression. Like I was worth something to him.
“No worries.” Finn walked over to the counter and put the bag down, quickly clearing some space. A pang of embarrassment shot through me because I should have been able to keep the place tidy.
“Sorry about the mess,” I said as I dumped my shredded box onto the pile of recycling to go to the tip. Finn was rummaging in the bag and laying out various foil tubs and plastic containers alongside a plastic bag full of prawn crackers.
“It’s not a problem. Honestly, it’s to be expected with everything going on.” He rummaged in the bag and produced a handful of paper napkins, some plastic cutlery, a couple of pairs of disposable chopsticks, and two empty tubs. “I didn’t think you’d have anything to eat with, so I asked if they had anything spare. Also, I asked for some extra tubs since I didn’t think you’d have plates, and it’s kind of awkward to just pass a tub of rice back and forth without spilling it everywhere.”
“That was nice of them.”
“I hope the food I got is okay,” Finn said, popping open the lids. “I got some fried rice, beef chow mein, chicken in oyster sauce, and some prawn toast. I figured I’d just get what we’d had before.”
“It’s fucking perfect.” I grinned at him and walked around the counter to the other side. I picked up one of the empty tubs and began helping myself to food, resisting the temptation to just stick my head into one of them. Looking around, I realised there was one small snag in our dinner plans—the shop still didn’t have any fucking furniture that wasn’t bookcases. “Are you all right with sitting on the floor again? I really need to get a stool or a couple of chairs to perch on.”
“The floor is fine,” Finn said, taking his tub of food, a spoon, and some chopsticks and settling himself cross-legged on the floor with his back against the counter.
I joined him, and for a few minutes there was no sound except us eating. The food was warm and delicious and everything I wanted, and the fact that Finn had brought it made it a hundred times better. If we hadn’t just been friends, I would have called this a date.
“So, how was your day?” Finn asked.
I shrugged. “Could have been worse. Work was fine, just busy, and I’m back tomorrow too, which means I’m going to be knackered on Sunday, but at least I’m off. This two-job thing is killing me, and this one isn’t even up and running.”
Finn nodded. “Yes, but this one requires a lot of physical and mental energy because you’re doing most of it yourself. Even when I’m here, you’re still making the decisions because it’s your business. Plus, you’re dealing with people all day, and that’s exhausting in itself. It would be different if your second job didn’t require any face-to-face interaction or physical labour.”
“I guess.” For a second, I wondered if my hunch about Finn having a sexy second job might be true since the way he spoke made it sound like he was speaking from experience. But I pushed the thought away. Now wasn’t the time, and I had no idea how I’d even bring it up. If I did, I’d want to play it off as a joking enquiry, and I didn’t have the energy for that. “I’m just worried I’ve made the wrong decision, that this is going to be a fucking disaster, and I haven’t even started yet.” Finn’s eyes narrowed, and his lips pursed like he was debating whether or not to give me a bollocking. I grinned. “Come on, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be worried too?”
“I suppose,” Finn said. “In fact, I know I would be. I felt the same when I started narrating—that it wasn’t going to work out, and in six months, I’d be back to figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. But I knew I had to give it everything I had because if I went into it thinking I was going to fail, then I was dooming myself from the start. You can be worried, that’s absolutely fine, but what you can’t do is let that fear hold you back or dictate your actions. If you think you’re going to fail, then you’re going to fail. It’s like starting a marathon with your laces tied together. You’ll just fall over and stop instead of untying them and getting back up.” He paused and shook his head. “That’s a very bad analogy. I’m sorry. But do you get my point?”
“That I shouldn’t take up running?”
Finn bumped my shoulder and grinned. “Don’t be a dick.”
“Fine, I get it. Basically, I shouldn’t be such a pessimistic bastard and should give this a fair shot before I decide it’s shit and pack it in.”
“Yes, something like that.” Finn looked at me with that firm expression that always sent heat coursing through my veins. “Promise me you’ll try?”
“I promise.” I meant it too. This wasn’t some fake bullshit I was spewing to make him happy; this was a promise I intended to keep. Because I’d do anything for Finn, and that realisation wasn’t as shocking as it should have been.
Finn nodded in a pleased way and shoved the rest of his chow mein into his mouth. It shouldn’t have been as cute as it was. “What?” he asked around the mouthful of food.
“Nothing,” I said with a wry chuckle. Finn frowned, but it just made his face look very round and squishy. “You look like a hamster when you do that. A very cute hamster.”
Finn swallowed. “Thanks? I’m not sure whether being a hamster is a good thing or not.”
“It is.” I scraped my last bit of fried rice and oyster chicken onto a spoon and debated whether to get a second helping. I half hoped Finn would let me take the leftovers home for lunch tomorrow because there was nothing as good as reheated takeaway the next day. Except cold pizza for breakfast. That was the king of all leftovers. “What are your plans now?”
“I came to help,” Finn said.
“You don’t have to. I know you came all this way, but…” I sighed and rubbed my face. “I’m just kinda done with today. Before you arrived, I was ripping up boxes.”
“No worries.” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth like he was debating what to say.
“You could come back to mine,” I said. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want.”
“What if I want to?” Finn asked with a smirk that sent shivers across my skin. It was like he’d flicked a switch. Shy, quiet Finn was gone, and in his place was the sharp, sexy man who made me crumble with one look. “I did come all this way. It would be a shame not to make the most of it.”
“It would,” I said. My mouth was suddenly dry, and I licked my lips, wishing I had some water. “Do you want to go now?”
“In a minute. Much as I desperately want to fuck your brains out, I’m currently very full of Chinese food, and I don’t think the two things would mix well.”
I threw my head back and laughed, knocking it against the counter. “Yeah, we should probably wait a bit.”
“We could fold some boxes while we wait,” Finn suggested with a teasing smile.
“Fuck that shit. They can wait until morning.”
“Okay then, no box folding.” Finn relaxed beside me, resting his hand on my thigh. “By the way, do we need to stop and get anything?”
“No. I have plenty of lube.”
“Good. I just wanted to check,” he said. “Do you like jacking off with it? Or do you use it with toys?”
“Er, both.” I felt my face flame, but I had no idea why the fuck I was suddenly embarrassed. Maybe it was just the casual way he’d asked.
“Interesting. I’d like to see them one day.”
My cock throbbed inside my jeans, and I reached down to palm myself. I couldn’t imagine anything hotter than letting Finn play with me.
Unless he wanted to tell me how to use them while he watched.