Chapter 4
Four
EILIDH
Give me two minutes.
I stared at my phone screen, almost counting those two minutes in my head.
The truth was it would scare Fyfe to know how much of a life raft he’d become these last few weeks. I didn’t know why I found it so easy to be honest with him about my feelings. Perhaps because I knew he understood loneliness. I’d always sensed it in him as a kid, knew how abandoned and neglected he’d been, and so I’d gone overboard to make him feel special back then.
I wasn’t abandoned or neglected.
But I was lost.
And feeling lost was extremely lonely.
It was no wonder I grabbed onto Fyfe as soon as he offered his support.
My London flat had seen many parties over the years. In fact, for a while, it was barely ever empty. I’d started renting the loft-like flat when I first moved here for Young Adult . I could have moved somewhere bigger, somewhere closer to the studio, and at one point I was going to. I’d wanted a place I could furnish and decorate myself, but my neighbors had told me Pete, our landlord, didn’t allow that in his flats. However, when I told Pete I was moving and why, he offered me rent control for a decade. A decade! In London. It was unheard of. And he said he’d have guys come and remove everything so I could furnish it and redecorate how I wished. I couldn’t turn down such a deal. Plus, he was a great landlord. Every year he did all the safety checks on the smoke alarms and the heating system, like a landlord was supposed to but rarely ever did. More reason to stay put.
Now, however, my flat seemed … empty. An interior designer had made it look cool and chic. There was expensive modern art on the walls, unique pieces of furniture. It was a Tribeca loft but with a ton of color and art.
The midcentury chaise sofa was the comfiest piece of furniture in the place, and I was curled up on it with a glass of wine while sweat stuck the hair to the back of my neck. A fan blew in the corner, but it did little to stave off the London summer heat that had built up over the days inside the brick building. And AC wasn’t a thing in most residential homes here. I vaguely wondered if AC was a thing in Romania. Gawd, I hoped so.
My suitcases were laid out in my bedroom, and I’d packed what I hoped were enough clothes for the three months of filming.
Three months.
A wave of homesickness crashed over me.
Not for this place. Not for this beautiful piece of art that would never feel like home.
But for Ardnoch.
For Lewis and Callie, Mum and Dad, and my wee sister Morwenna who was growing up while I missed it.
For Fyfe.
My phone buzzed and I snatched it up, accepting the call. I was hoping for a video chat because I missed Fyfe’s face, but I understood when I heard the hum of traffic in the background.
“Are you driving?”
“Aye, just coming back from the city. How are you?” Fyfe’s deep rumble of a voice was like ocean waves. The rhythm of it soothed me.
I sighed, feeling better for having him on the other end of the line. The last few days had been a shit show. “I had to hand over my social media accounts to my management team today.”
“What happened?”
“I posted a photo this week of me hanging out with friends on my roof terrace here and …” I squeezed my eyes closed, still seeing the comments in my mind’s eye. “I can’t take it anymore. I try to let the comments roll off my back, but I can’t. Every time I think I have a handle on it, I realize I don’t. I’ve decided to let someone else deal with it so I don’t have to see it anymore.”
“What kind of comments?” Fyfe’s voice was sharp.
“Fyfe—”
“I can easily check, you know.”
“Well, we reported some of them.”
“Jesus. Eilidh, what are they saying?”
“ Young Adult is back at number one on the streaming platform and there’s this whole new audience finding us. They’re not happy my character cheats … I’ve been threatened with physical and sexual violence on my social media.”
All I heard was the humming sound of his vehicle on the road.
“Fyfe?”
“I’m trying not to lose my mind. Give me a second.”
His concern warmed me. “I’m okay.”
“They’re threatening you over a fictional fucking character, Eilidh. That’s insane.”
“I am aware. That’s why I handed it over so I don’t have to see it or deal with it.”
“It was the right decision.” I heard his heavy sigh. “Please tell me you’re safe.”
“Aye. I’m safe.”
“Does your family know?”
“After we reported the comments, we switched them off. I haven’t heard from my family, so I doubt it. Please don’t tell them. They don’t need to worry any more than they already do.”
“Maybe if you started talking to them about all of this, you’d feel better. They know something is up with you, Eils.”
I winced because it was true. There was an emotional wall between me and my family. I wasn’t quite sure how it had sprung up between us or how I could pull it down. “I need to figure some things out first. Once I do, I’ll be more open with them.”
“Well, at least keep talking to me.”
“Of course.” I smiled, wishing he were here with me. “How has your day been? Why were you in the city?”
“Uh … just … you know.”
My stomach dropped. “I didn’t interrupt a date, did I?”
“Aye, and thankfully. I wasn’t in the mood.”
Ignoring the jealous churning in my gut, I forced out, “Why? Has something happened?”
Fyfe was quiet for a moment and then, “If I tell you, will you keep it between us?”
“You know I will.” It seemed to be all we did these days. We were each other’s confidants. Being the person Fyfe could talk to made me feel more special than any award or accolade ever could.
“Innes, my mother … she showed up at my house this morning.”
Hearing the seething anger in his voice, I braced myself. “What happened?”
“She changed her name, has been sober for six years, lives in the Lowlands, and is married to a woman who has a daughter from a previous marriage.”
What the heck? “Fyfe …”
“She wants the house. Her mum’s house.”
Fury lashed through me in an instant, my cheeks turning hot with it. “What?”
“Says they’re having financial problems and she wants to give her stepdaughter a good life. Wanted the house so she could sell it for the money, I suppose.”
“That bitch!” I shot up off my couch. All the hurt and pain she’d inflicted on Fyfe as a boy … I’d seen him the day she’d abandoned him for good. Seen something shatter in him. And she came back for the house instead of him?
I wanted to kill her. Pacing the room, I shook with the rage I couldn’t expel. “I’m going to hunt that cow down and eviscerate her. She thinks she has financial problems now? Wait until I get my hands on her. She’ll have to swim out of the fucking shipwreck of her life when I’m done with her! Fuck!”
A few seconds after the last expletive left my mouth, I was shocked by the sound of Fyfe’s laughter.
I froze mid pacing. “Fyfe?”
His amusement petered off. “Thank you.”
Puzzled and still infuriated I snapped, “For what?”
“Making me laugh on a day I didn’t think I could.”
“Oh.” That warm feeling cut through the anger.
“She’s not getting the house, Eils. I told her to get out of Ardnoch.”
I slumped back onto my sofa. “Good. But that doesn’t take away from the damage she inflicted today.”
“No,” he replied quietly. “It doesn’t.”
Tears burned my eyes. I hated that she could make him feel so unworthy and unwanted. “She’s a selfish fool, Fyfe. She doesn’t deserve to be your mother. She doesn’t deserve someone as special as you.”
“Eilidh …” His voice was hoarse around my name, his tone grateful, like I was salve on an open wound.
“She’s not your family, anyway. We are. The Adairs. You’re ours. We’re yours.” The urge to clarify that I was his the second he woke up to what could be between us was strong. But I held back.
I heard the smile in Fyfe’s voice as he replied, “I’m a grown man. Been on my own since I was a boy. And yet … I needed to hear that, Eils. Thank you.”
“Anytime, honey.” The endearment slipped out before I could stop it. “I’m always here for you.”